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5 Ways to Become a Remarkable Person and Always Get What You Want in Life

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how to get what you want in life

When my dad was alive, he would give my elder sister dozens of gifts, like ten times a day! He gave her chocolates, ice cream, snacks, ribbons, perfumes, you name it. He said, “she’s the top student in her class; she helps her mom with house chores; and she comes to greet me every day.”

Nabila still enjoys gifts from her employer, friends, and community, because her kind spirit and intelligence still shine through today. She’s just a remarkable young lady. Very remarkable.

Do you want to become a remarkable person and always get what you want in life? Then follow these tips:

1. Identify your weaknesses

You’re not perfect. No one is. Maybe you struggle with procrastination, maybe you have a hard time waking up early, or maybe you suck at time management. In one way or another, you have some shortcomings as a human, and that’s fine.

What is not fine is failing to recognize and identify them. Smart, remarkable people know who they are because they understand their strengths and their weaknesses. They know in order to become exceptional, they need to be true to themselves and do the things that make them uncomfortable. So, they struggle daily to replace their bad habits with good ones.

2. Wage a war on yourself

When you identify your weaknesses, you might find a number of problems in your life. They can be anything from laziness to waking up late to extravagant spending to gambling. However, can you face these problems on the battlefield? If you want to become a better you, you have to change your life.

In order to change your life you must revolt against your old habits—break the bad ones, and instill the good ones—with consistent practice, discipline, and commitment.

For example, when Eleanor Roosevelt became First Lady of the United States in 1933, she was scared to speak publicly at first. However, realizing that there was no other way, she learned to do it, challenging us to fight our insecurities and “do the things we can’t do.”

“The only proper way to eliminate bad habits is to replace them with good ones.” – Jerome Hines

3. Position yourself on the foundation of honesty

People won’t just wake up one day and start respecting you, seeing you as a unique person, and responding to your queries with excitement and regard. You’ll have to earn their trust first. You’ll have to portray yourself as a person of integrity. You’ll have to respect them, do good to them, and help them succeed.

To achieve all of that, you have to be willing to make sacrifices because, as my friend once told me, “life is like a business. Your personality is your brand, and you need to make a good impression out of it, just like a manager hands over a professional, impressive business card at a business meeting.”

When you give a good first impression and reveal your integrity and honesty over time, you don’t even have to inquire about anything. People will grant your request without your even asking. Why? Because you’ve already earned their trust.

4. Do the things that scare you

You want to start a business, win that job, or beat that bulging belly once and for all, but you simply don’t have the energy to do it. You try, yes, starting and working at it for days or weeks. Then your motivation shrinks. You lack the courage and confidence to pursue your goals, because you’re scared.

“Starting a business is risky,” a voice may echo deep inside your mind. “What if I fail?” “That digital marketing position is damn competitive,” another voice shouts from within. “I won’t waste my time applying. I’m not good enough.”

On the surface, these excuses might seem logical, but in reality, they are mere hallucinations; tales narrated by your vulnerable soul.

The Bezos and the Beckhams hear these words just like anyone else. However, they brush them away as fairy tales, moving on and doing the work that matters, getting the trophies and accolades they deserve.

“Do one thing every day that scares you.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

5. Embrace the art of giving

One of the secrets of becoming remarkable and earning credibility is the art of giving. Giving something, whether material (like money or gifts) or immaterial (like assistance or information) has a symbolic meaning.  Giving depicts love, depicts caring and depicts friendliness.

The good news is, anyone can cultivate this simple art. You can be a student and give your all to your teachers. You can be a startup founder and give massive value to your consumers. You can be a junior employee at a small company and go all out for your employer.

When you give your all to your people, they’ll recognize you, reciprocate the gesture, and give you the special attention you deserve. Why? Because giving begets respect.

After you have followed these steps, try to request something from your friend, boss, or teacher—I don’t mean extra marks or special favors here—and see what they’ll do for you with passion, love, and excitement.

Which one of these habits do you need to work on the most and why? Let us know in the comments below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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