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10 Winning Habits of Highly Charismatic People That You Can Adopt Too

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charismatic people

I had often wondered how some people just seem to have it all together. These people are good at communicating, energizing and motivating others. It is something we truly cannot define, but some people just have it. It’s called charisma. Natural charisma could lose its impact especially when you add familiarity.

However, some people are remarkably charismatic. They cultivate and maintain great relationships, consistently and positively influencing the people around them; making them feel better about themselves and as such everyone wants to be around them.

Charisma tends to increase your chances of being successful in any area of your life. Science has been fascinated by the concept and found that charisma is a quality everyone can develop; not necessarily an inborn trait.

By examining the traits that charismatic people exhibit, we can certainly grow to become charismatic ourselves.

According to Ronald Riggio PhD, professor of leadership and organizational psychology at Claremont McKenna College, Charisma has three main ingredients:

  • Expressiveness – A knack for striking up conversations spontaneously and easily conveying feelings.
  • Control – The ability to fine-tune your persona to fit the mood and social makeup of any group.
  • Sensitivity – A gift for listening.

 

Here are 10 typical traits that we know can be found in charismatic people:

1. Confidence

There is a certain confidence that charismatic people exude. According to the Harvard Business review, confidence can be so alluring that people are willing to trust anyone who expresses it. Researchers have noted that showing confidence is more dominant in establishing trust than past performance. Charismatic people literally light up a room with confidence when they walk in.

 

2. They are attentive and listen to others

Charismatic individuals know how to make people feel valued. People like to be around them because of this. This is because they’ve trained themselves to be attentive to people whom they interact with.

Simple habits like asking questions, maintaining eye contact, smiling, responsiveness, verbal or nonverbal cues, are some of the things they do actively. It’s not surprising that studies have found that eye contact heavily influences likability, trustworthiness, and attractiveness. Listening shows that they care a lot more than offering advice.

“Charisma is not just saying hello. It’s dropping what you’re doing to say hello.” – Robert Brault

 

3. They’re passionate and show it

Charismatic people tend to be quite passionate about what they believe in. This passion motivates people around them to act.

Behavioral Science has shown that strong emotions can be contagious. A prominent researcher in this area, Dr. Elaine Hatfield, has conducted several studies showing how people “grab” the emotions of others.

For example, if you have a friend who is always critical about everyone, you’ll soon find yourself to be critical of other people. Likewise, being around someone who’s passionate and optimistic is likely to inspire you to think and behave that way also.

 

4. They are approachable

Charismatic people are often seen as warm and approachable. Most people would rather get to trust and get closer to you if they perceive you to be warm. 

According to Dr. Robert Zajonic, facial muscles contract to produce a smile that allows for increased blood flows to the brain which lowers the brain temperature and produces feelings of pleasure and happiness.

Studies have also shown that smiling is linked to how approachable and competent someone is. You want to hone your charismatic skills, then smile.

 

5. No self importance

Charismatic people have no bone of self-importance in their bodies. They are simple, easily relatable, with no airs.

This doesn’t mean they are not knowledgeable. In fact, they know quite a lot, and are kind in dispensing the information that they have. The only people that can be impressed by self- importance are those who are pretentious, and act self-important also.

 

6. They have a cause

Throughout the 20th century, sociologist Max Weber’s study of charisma says that a charismatic person has a clear vision for the future and boldly advances towards it. They are people who talk about ideas that are bigger than themselves.

An example of this kind of person would be the late Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple, who on recruiting Pepsi CEO John Sculley, pointedly asked if he wanted to sell sugared water for the rest of his life, or if he wanted a chance to change the world?

 

7. Genuine interest in others

Confident and charismatic people usually prefer to shine the spotlight on others. They motivate people. Telling others how much of a good job they’ve been doing is essential.

Not only will people who are drawn to you appreciate your praise, but they will also appreciate the fact that you pay attention to what they’re doing. It brings a sense of accomplishment to them. Then they’ll feel a little more accomplished and more important.  

In other words, they give credit where credit is due. If they are recognized for a success, they shower the praises on everyone else and empower people without expecting anything in return. Conversely, if anything goes wrong, they aren’t afraid to take the blame.

“There is no better friendship booster than the ability to listen. The ability to show genuine interest in others an admirable quality of a true friend.” – Phil Callaway

 

8. Belief in themselves

Even though people have doubts about what they are doing and their abilities, charismatic people don’t allow those doubts to influence their interactions with people whom they motivate.

 

9. They encourage self disclosure

Charismatic people ask insightful questions which make others share things about themselves. Studies from Harvard researchers, prove that sharing information about ourselves impacts our brains.

It’s also confirmed that our brains are literally wired to enjoy sharing information about ourselves. Being charismatic is less about you and more about how you make others feel.

 

10. They are generous

According to Professor Grant at the Wharton school of business, there are three types of people; the taker, the matcher and the giver. Charismatic people are givers and altruistic. They give without looking for anything in return.

Check out our video below for habits of highly charismatic people! Share this video!

What habits are you going to adopt today to start being more charismatic? Leave your thoughts below!

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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