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Want to Take Control of Your Morning? Build Your Routine Around These 3 Pillars



morning routine

Do you ever feel like you can’t get ahead during the day?  Are you tired or sluggish and can’t seem to get energized? Are you constantly putting out fires and feel overwhelmed with the situations that confront you? Until I began and stuck to a morning routine, I used to battle these feelings for most of my days.

When I reflect on the small changes I’ve made that produced the greatest results, a morning routine is #1 on the list.  It allows me to center myself before the day begins. I am able to respond instead of react to circumstances.  It gives me a sense of accomplishment before the day begins and energizes me to remain productive throughout the day.  

I built my morning routine around the 3 pillars of physical, mental, and spiritual well-being.  

1. Spiritual

I begin my day with breathwork and meditation. While I am doing this practice I ponder on a few questions.  How deep is my breath going?  What thoughts keeping popping into my head?  How do I feel compared to other days?  Am I stressed or do I feel relaxed?  Am I having trouble focusing on my breath?

Pondering on the answers to these questions allows me to center my mind and get in touch with my body.  It helps me focus throughout the day and not let stress take over.  I know I can always come back to the breath if I need to settle down.

“How am I going to live today in order to create the tomorrow I’m committed to?” – Tony Robbins

2. Mental

When I finish my breathwork and meditation, I move into a journaling practice.  I will write about my meditation and breath experience plus anything that pops into my head. I use this exercise as a brain dump to release my subconscious and anything that is on my mind.  

There is something about writing down all of the thoughts that come into your mind that is freeing. I will also use my journaling to write three things I am grateful for each day.  It does not have to be something big either.  Sometimes it is as small as the smell of my puppy’s breath.  

My goal is to think of different things every day.  This helps train the brain to look on the bright side and seek out positive experience during the day.  Lastly, I will include goals I would like to accomplish during the day and a few affirmations.

After I finish writing, I will read a passage from a book.  The reading allows me to introduce and apply beneficial information from great minds throughout history to my life.  The first information I consume on the day needs to be beneficial.  It needs to be educational and allow me to grow.  

I do not want my brain to take a look at the latest hysteria on the news or mindless social media.   From the breathwork, meditation, journaling, and reading, my mind and spirit are ready for the day.  Now I need to get the body moving.

3. Physical

My morning movement practice is not intense and is focused on opening up the joints and tight muscles with stretching and flowing movements.  I use a program called 5-Minute Flow by Max Shanks.  It consists of flowing movements similar to vinyasa flow yoga but with less structure.  It primes the pump, allowing the joints and muscles to wake up after being asleep all night.  It takes me five to ten minutes and I am ready to attack the day once this is complete.  

“If today were the last day of my life, what would I want to do? What am I about to do today?” – Steve Jobs

To Sum it Up

My morning routine takes me less than an hour and is the most beneficial time of the day for me.  It allows me to focus, brings creativity to my work, and builds on the three pillars of a whole person (mental, physical, and spiritual).  Since starting this practice over a year ago, my anxiety dropped and I have an ability to go with the flow as problems arise during the day.  

It is the structure I need to give me freedom for the rest of the day.  Starting the day knowing I have moved my body, learned something new, and delved into my inner thoughts is my first win of the day.  

If you are looking to start a morning routine, I advise trying one of these activities and see how you respond.  If you are having trouble getting movement during the day, start stretching.  If you are stressed, try breathwork and meditation.  If the thoughts in your head are getting in the way, try journaling.  The key is to start small and build.  Win the morning and you will win the day!

What does your morning routine look like? Comment Below!

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Taylor Somerville worked in the investment business for the past 15 years in Memphis, TN. He recently decided it was time to move on to the next chapter in his life and is currently on sabbatical. Taylor lives an active lifestyle and recently completed the World's Toughest Mudder, a 24-hour race around Lake Las Vegas. He enjoys focusing and learning all he can on mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. He reflects on these in his weekly newsletter, The Long Game.



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The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.



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Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.



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Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.



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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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