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How to Position Yourself to Have the Best Year of Your Life

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how to have the best year of your life

How often do you set New Year’s resolutions and completely blow them off after a couple of weeks? I know I am guilty of this. There is no motivation to complete them once you get back to the grind of your daily life after the holidays.

However, in 2017, I decided to take a different route to my year. Instead of resolutions, I set intentions for how I wanted to live. I also made a list of the most absurd things I could do in 2017. I believe I got the absurd list idea from Tim Ferriss but I can’t be sure. In completing these two exercises and executing on my intentions and some of my ideas, I had one of the most eventful years of my life.

“Life is perpetual movement. There is nothing fixed.” – Bruce Lee

At the end of 2016, I wrote a few quotes and personal intentions in my journal that I wanted to guide the following year of my life. At the top of the list was a quote by Nietzsche, which reads: “There is one path in the world none can walk but you. Where does it lead? Don’t ask, walk!” Under this, I wrote the intention to live life with an abundant mindset. These two ideas helped to make 2017 one of the most fascinating and eventful years of my life.

For example, the quote by Nietzsche helped remind me that this is my life and I must stop living up to the expectations of others. Whatever I decide to do in life, I need to blaze my own trail. The only way I can do that is by living life with an abundant mindset.

There are so many opportunities in the world to make my mark and by continuing to live in scarcity, I realized would only hold myself back. For me, an abundant mindset means to not fear change and staying open to all of the possibilities life has for us. I learned to be happy for others’ accomplishments and quit comparing myself to others. The world is not a zero-sum game and we can all grow together. While I had other intentions, I believe this intention laid the groundwork for my most absurd list.

“The world has enough conformists. Be ready to stand your ground and live by your own rules.” – Brian Mackenzie

When I wrote my list of the most absurd things I could do in 2017 at the end of 2016, I forgot about it until the fall. As I look back on my list now I actually did about half of the things on there. For example, I quit my job in the investment industry to begin moving towards a career and life I was passionate about. I started my own newsletter on self-growth and becoming your best mentally, physically and spiritually.

I competed in the World’s Toughest Mudder. I also went on my first solo adventure when I attended the XPT Experience in Malibu. Through all of these adventures, I learned a lot about myself and grew a tremendous amount. It took me a long time to build up the courage to quit my job.

I believe starting the newsletter and going on the XPT experience were instrumental to this. These experiences taught me that I can do whatever I want and the world is full of adventure. We don’t need to be limited by our beliefs. We need to start new projects and take action. Action breeds confidence, not the other way around. I ended my year with The World’s Toughest Mudder. This event confirmed that I can surpass any challenge and I won’t back down when life hits me hard.

“If you don’t do something everyday that makes you feel small you haven’t really been alive.” – Laird Hamilton

While 2017 was very challenging at times, it was the most rewarding year of my life. I am truly grateful for all of the people that helped me through it all. Another intention of mine was to cultivate meaningful relationships and give up petty gossip and negative people. This allowed me to strengthen bonds with the positive people in my life and allowed me to enter into new and meaningful friendships with a lot of potential.

What are you doing to set yourself up for a great year? If you are still setting the standard resolutions that you constantly break like I did, maybe it’s time to try something new. I am currently in the process of setting my intentions for 2018 and deciding what are the craziest things I can do this coming year. It’s going to be another exciting year and I can’t wait to see what is in store.

What crazy things can you do this year? Share with me in the comments below!

Taylor Somerville worked in the investment business for the past 15 years in Memphis, TN. He recently decided it was time to move on to the next chapter in his life and is currently on sabbatical. Taylor lives an active lifestyle and recently completed the World's Toughest Mudder, a 24-hour race around Lake Las Vegas. He enjoys focusing and learning all he can on mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. He reflects on these in his weekly newsletter, The Long Game.

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Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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