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Perspective: It’s Never Been More Important

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Perspective has many definitions because it can mean something different to each of us. When I think of perspective, I essentially think of the big picture. Putting situations in perspective is taking them beyond the moment themselves and placing them in the grand scheme of life and your goals. The purpose is to not give singular moments more credit than they deserve.

Putting moments in perspective allows us to relax and approach things in a controlled manner. I can’t think of another time where perspective and mindset were more important than they are right now. It’s not a matter of downplaying the situation, but rather facing it head-on and seeing it for what it truly is. I think it’s incredibly important to think about the path you’re on in life, specifically your approach.

This time has impacted us all in unique and mostly negative ways, including myself. However, this situation has been much easier to handle for some than for others. I think that’s in large part due to perspective. Without mental discipline, focus, and commitment, surely this time would be a lot to deal with. The goal of this article is to help you get past that and to make the rest of this experience as beneficial for you as possible.

Why putting things into perspective is so important

I’m no expert, so take my advice as you will. However, I’ve had lots of real-world experience specifically with perspective and mindset. I’ve drastically changed my life, how I interact with it, and my overall outlook simply through introspection, training my mind and keeping myself focused.

There was a time in my life where I was so depressed, so filled with constant anxiety, that I could barely even function. But through effort and dedication, I was able to slip out of this part of my life, lose 80lbs along the way, and excel in school and professionally. That doesn’t mean I’m not subject to hardship like everyone else.

Like many people, I lost my job because of this pandemic, but the difference for me was that my mindset and ability to put things in perspective was already sharp. Despite all that has happened, my focus has always been forward-looking and not letting the moment define me. Refining your mindset and utilizing perspective can make any situation manageable and allow you to realize your full potential in life. 

When I talk about putting things into perspective, it’s important you know that doesn’t mean I’m saying to downplay moments or not care. The point is that we often get lost in the moment. Society is quick moving and we struggle to take a second to breathe. Even when we have all the time in the world to breathe, we struggle in seeing moments as part of the greater whole.

You can live in the moment, but don’t let small moments be so destructive internally. We must put the small moments in perspective so that we can better handle the big moments. This piece is about getting you to take control of the small moments first. Hopefully with these tools and pieces of advice, you’ll be able to establish a framework for the bigger occurrences in life.

“Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else.” – Les Brown

Here are three strong ways to start utilizing and refining perspective in your life:

1. Stop, Breath, Think, React

For most people, it’s as simple as just taking a second before reacting. This is crucial for me, as my natural emotional reactions are almost always destructive rather than productive. Whether you’re the same way or not, slowing down and taking a breath is always a useful technique in life.

Before you blow up over just missing that subway train or on that guy who bumped into you, take a second, breathe, think, and then react. We all have countless moments every day like this. At the end of the day, is it that big of a deal if you miss that subway train? It’s these little moments that’ll start to make all the difference in your overall happiness levels once you start addressing them.

2. Reflect

Reflection is an important tool for so many aspects of life. As it pertains to perspective, reflection will allow you to refine your approach. As you reflect, you’ll be able to think about actions and how you want to move forward. Looking back at situations, you can see where you may have handled something the wrong way, or notice where your mindset was off.

Without reflection, I don’t believe it’s possible to address problem areas moving forward. Only by reflection can you expose these areas, think about them, and then input a strategy to address them moving forward. It’s important to know that the past can be very important and useful, but only if you use it to learn and not to dwell on it.

We all make mistakes and have bad days. If you have these moments, don’t get lost in your frustration, use them as a learning experience to avoid them in the future. Reflection can lead to incredible realizations, but it can also lead down a dangerous path if you let it. Beating yourself up about a moment that has already passed brings no value to you whatsoever, remember that.

Reflection’s key function as it relates to perspective is that it’ll allow you to be more aware of thoughts, actions, and feelings in real-time. You’ll be able to catch yourself in these negative ways of thinking and acting much easier, which gives you the chance to correct in real-time. 

Reflection works like that, it’s not going to be clear cut or always work when you want it to. If you have an area you struggle with, then put it in the forefront of your mind and dissect it. 

“I visualize where I wanted to be, what kind of player I wanted to become.  I knew exactly where I wanted to go, and I focused on getting there.” – Michael Jordan

3. Know Where You’re Going

Ultimately the best way to focus on the things that matter is having an end destination or direction of some kind. Whether it’s a dream you have, a job you want, something you want to accomplish, or even a way you want to live, you should have something. 

Direction is a powerful motivator in life and is incredibly useful in utilizing perspective. For example, I know the values I want to live by and the kind of person I want to be, yet I don’t have a clue where I’ll be in a year from now. Nonetheless, those values and personal characteristics are still incredibly useful for me.

When I find myself in moments in which I’m not acting or living in the way I wish, I’m able to refocus to get back on my desired path in life. You’ll begin to see how these small moments you’ve made such a big deal of, in reality have little impact on your ability to still achieve what you want in life.

Focus on what your priorities are in life, think about what you want, and what you care about and let that be your guide. The more you do so and the more you focus on these priorities, the easier it will be to overcome the smaller moments of frustration, sadness, and pain. 

If you start overcoming the little things in life routinely, you’ll find that the big things aren’t as daunting as you perceived them to be. Establish some kind of direction in your life and let that be what drives you forward.

As we move forward during this time of crisis, I urge everyone to try and get some good out of it. For as terrible as this situation is, it also provides an essentially once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to refocus and refine our approach to life. Perspective is a powerful tool in life if utilized in the right way. Why not use this rare time in life to ensure you’re heading in the right direction?

What resonated most with you from the above article? Share it with us below!

Garrett Rutledge is a freelance writer who lives in New York City. He received his Bachelor's Degree from Syracuse University, with a double major in Management & Supply Chain Management and a minor in Writing. Throughout his adult life, Garrett has been heavily dedicated to personal development. Whether it’s going through a massive weight loss journey or overcoming depression, he remains committed to bettering himself. He now looks to use his writing background and experience to help others on their own personal development journeys.

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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