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The Fastest Way To Get Back Up After Life Knocks You Down



always get back up

Whoever said, “Life is short” was an idiot. Life is the longest journey you’ll ever go through. Only one reality is longer than life. Death. Until you face death, anything you deal with is temporary. The saying should be: “Life is long, setbacks are short.”

But setbacks are a part of life. Setbacks are often how life teaches us lessons. Most of us are too hardheaded to learn a real lesson without them. Many people even let setbacks, set them back further because it’s hard not to regard a demotion to a lower rung as permanent. And life is short. Which is the complete opposite of how it works on this planet.

Once you reframe your subconscious to believe setbacks are short and life is long, you’ll start to look at problems and struggles differently. Facing adversity, knowing it’s temporary, makes our trials much easier to endure. Having the mindset of “I’ll get through this, it’s only temporary” is a game changer, it’s the mindset of the mentally tough.

“Whoever said “life is short” was an idiot. Life is the longest thing we will do. Life is long but temporary setbacks are short. Take risks.” — Ryan Stewman (@hardcorecloser)

Once you’ve retrained your thoughts, the next step is to get over the hurdle as quickly as possible. I’ve found the best way to surpass a setback is to do what I call “the catapult.” Think about it. A catapult is pulled back until it reaches the optimum amount of stress and tension on the cable. At some point, a “trigger” is pulled and the cable releases launching a weapon at full speed. Even though the catapult is only stretched back a few feet, the momentum springs the weapon forward thousands of feet.

Picture yourself as that catapult. You hit stress and tension, which pulls you back just enough to reach your limits. Then, after a brief period of time, some sort of trigger in your life causes you to use that tension and stress to spring ahead with powerful force and terminal velocity.

When you face hard times, look for the “trigger” to release you from your tension and stress, the hair setting that will launch you into momentum. Instead of feeling down and out about the turn of events, shift your focus to finding the trigger. As soon as you see yourself hitting a setback, start looking for it.

Once you find it, the next step is to pull it! Use it to catapult you to heights you couldn’t previously reach. Use it to gather steam to launch onward. And don’t stop until you hit the ground. When you do, take off running. Use every bit of momentum available.

You now know setbacks are the pivot point for momentum. This mindset allows you to actually look forward to the stumbles that befall everyone. After all, if you believe what I’m sharing with you, that a setback is essential to attain massive gains in your life, could this actually mean setbacks are a good thing?

I’d rather approach a trying situation from a positive light, than adding more negativity to the circumstance. Having this mindset has allowed me to overcome some of the toughest obstacles we can face as humans. I’m talking adoption, incarceration, divorce, bankruptcy and sadly… more.

It would have been easier to have given up, to have felt sorry for myself. Because I encountered so many disappointments and so much hurt from the people closest to me…and I experienced this betrayal over and over again. But I decided to use my hardships as fuel to propel me farther than I’ve ever been.

“An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that it’s going to launch you into something great.”

Every setback has allowed me the chance to build enough stress and tension to rocket me into momentum as soon as the trigger was pulled. When I was incarcerated, it was a major setback. But I identified the trigger as my release date. During my stint, I spent my time preparing for when the trigger would be deployed. I read books. Learned new things and created an entire plan of action for the trigger date. I did whatever I could, so when the time came to draw back that trigger I knew without a doubt how far I would fly, and how many miles I would put between myself and the pitfalls that had held me back.

Use the setback time to build up stress and tension, and then convert it into momentum. Once you locate that trigger, make a plan for what happens after it’s pulled. Those who plan to succeed, rarely fail.

Bottom line: next time you’re in some sort of a setback situation, think of it in a positive light. It’s a good thing and it’s also a stop-gap; in the longest thing you’ll ever do (life) The faster you can find the trigger and get back on top of your game, the faster you’ll hit your highest momentum.

What have you done to get back up after life knocked you down? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below!

Ryan Stewman is a genius loan officer turned Rogue Internet marketer. He is most famous for saying "No one is doing this s#!t, we're about to take over." Since 2002 Ryan has dedicated himself to bringing WAY outside of the box thinking to the business world. Ryan's personal blog gets over 300,000 hits a month, and his weekly radio show has over 1,500,000 live and archive listens. Check out his website



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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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