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5 Ways to Become Firm Friends With Failure

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Making a mistake on a spreadsheet; getting the boot from your job; or choosing the wrong career path. Failure, in many different guises, impacts every single one of us at some point, even the most successful of us.

Ever heard of the old saying, “form is temporary, class is permanent”, and failure can be just that – temporary. In fact, I know from my own journey that with the right mindset and attitude, failure can become the very thing that pushes you to greater things. 

It’s really all about reframing what you think you know about failure and recognising that going two steps forward and one step back is an often-necessary feature of the path to success. 

Obviously, this is rather easier said than done. Our culture rewards those who strive for perfection, but as we all know, perfection doesn’t exist, so why hold yourself to such unrealistic expectations? 

It’s not about deciding what do if you are to fail, but rather knowing how to respond when you do fail.

Five Ways to Become Firm Friends with Failure:

#1: Understand the Cause

To accept your failure, you must have the courage to stand and face your fear. Never underestimate how important this first stage really is. It’s a natural human reaction to attempt to turn your back on uncomfortable situations and emotions. After all, we have all made a mistake and tried to bury it under the sand, pass the buck, or make excuses. 

However, if you really want to grow and embrace failure, this just isn’t an option anymore.

In the immediate aftermath of something going wrong, don’t concern yourself with trying to repair a mistake or who might have been affected by it – first and foremost you need to understand what went wrong.

Own up, and rather than beating yourself up, realistically assess the outcome of your misstep and why you allowed it to come about. It’s crucial to do this before anything else.

#2: Take Ownership

Once you’ve determined the how’s, why’s and what’s of what has gone wrong, and how you might prevent this issue in the future, it’s time to take ownership. 

Whether you’re an employee or a business owner, everyone in that organisation will want you to summon the maturity, courage and strength of character to say that something hasn’t quite gone the way you wanted it to. 

This doesn’t need to be a long-drawn-out process. It’s as easy as sitting down with your colleagues, or even by yourself to examine why your start-up failed, why you forgot to send that important email and most importantly, what you’re doing to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

“There is no such thing as failure, there are only results.” – Tony Robbins

#3: Learn Your Lesson

Learning from your failure is the key aspect to making peace with your yourself. When you rearrange your thought process, you can give yourself the space to turn failure into opportunity

Think about any great achievement in your life – that promotion, buying your first home, or having children – each and every one of these required a certain aspect of changing the way you think, particularly the later. 

The same applies to when you make mistakes – after all, what’s the point in hammering yourself for something that is inherently human? And that’s all mistakes, and ultimately failure really are.

Once you’ve looked at yourself in the mirror and you’ve accepted your fate, vow to learn something from it. 

Before pressing ahead though, give yourself a pat on the back. While, yes, you’ve made a misstep somewhere along the line, celebrate the fact that you’ve learned something new on your journey.

#4: Move On

Quite often, it’s not the mistake itself that causes the damage. It’s the lasting impact of not being able to manage your guilt and regret. 

Do not allow the experience of failure to mar your future; don’t let it define your life and how you interact with the pursuit of success. Replaying your past repeatedly and wishing things had been different, will solve nothing.

Life isn’t fair, it never has been and never will be so; never fall into the trap of feeling as though you’re a victim, you’re not and it’s important to come to terms with that and move on.

Forgiving yourself is the most important part of embracing failure. You will slide into the victim trap if you cling on to those memories as a negative experience. Instead, continually remind yourself of what you learnt during this time.

#5: Share Your Experience 

Sharing your experiences about what you’ve learnt with those around you is great way to free yourself from the shackles of failure. Having said that though, it’s important to frame your narrative in the right way, no matter if you’re speaking as an employer, employee or even as a friend.

Don’t tow the usual line of, “Jeez, I’m so stupid, guess what happened to me a few weeks back.” Don’t give yourself the opportunity to fall into old habits and claim back your own narrative. 

Lead the story with your newly found viewpoint, “Guess what happened to me a few weeks back. It was a tough day, but I really learned a hard lesson.”

By telling the story in this way, you can incorporate each of the five points we’ve talked about in this piece.

Success Advice

How Your Friends Determine Whether You Succeed or Not

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Can anyone do without having friends? We all have our friends, we share ideas with them, talk together, have fun, and fight. Yes, that’s the baseline of friendship. But, do you know that aside from you, your friends can determine whether you achieve success or not?

There are two things in friendship which are the ability to ”love” and the ability to “influence”. This means you are loved and you are influenced. How do your friends affect your success in life? How are they one of the biggest deciding factors of your success? Let’s find out.

What type of friends do you keep? 

First, what type of friends do you keep? Who do you call your best friend? There are two different kinds of friends, good friends, and bad ones. A lot of people have lost their pathway to success and some have also found their road to success all because of the friends they keep, the people they mingle with. 

Who is your best friend? Answer carefully. Having a best friend means you find each other compatible and understanding. Analyze who your best friend is. If your best friend has not motivated you to do something positive, if who you call your bestie has never given you positive advice, lastly if your best friend has never informed and advised you on your shortcomings, then you don’t have a best friend.

This quote tells us “birds of the same feather flock together”. Countless people have changed from their good nature into a bad one all because of friends. One thing to note is, “negative people move with negative aura”. If your best friend is filled with negativity inside-out then you will surely be affected by his/her negative aura.

They influence your success with positivity or negativity 

The friends you keep can either influence you with positivity or negativity because your friends have the power to change your kind of person completely. 

This is how your friends influence you:

  1. They influence you indirectly with what they do
  2. They influence you directly by teaching and giving you advice 

Yes, that is how they influence you. For instance, you watch a movie and you like the way the actor walks. The question is if you truly like the way the actor walks, won’t you try to imitate the actor? Of course, you will.

Just the way you imitate the actor is the same way your friends can influence you with their character. However, the funny part is, they don’t have to teach you to do things like them. You just find yourself imitating and copying them gradually.

An important question to ask is, are you imitating a good friend or a bad one? If you imitate a good friend then you will be good, but if you imitate a bad person, you will surely become a bad person.

Everyone wants to succeed, a good friend will always teach, enlighten, and motivate you for success. A bad friend will only motivate you to do evil things (smoking, drinking, fight, envy,).

And you should know that things like that are a great enemy of success and even of God. So, if you have these bad elements in your life, how will you achieve success? There is no way!

And also, they can teach and advise you directly. But, what do your friends teach you? When you ask them for advice do they inspire you positively or teach you the bad stuff.? A lot of people have regretted lifelong decisions just by listening to the advice of friends. 

The company you keep has the power to influence and change you. Never forget that a positive influence will teach, motivate, and brush you up for success. While a negative influence will inspire you to become a bad person, change your good nature, and leave you with regrets in the end.

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The 3 Step Process to Building a Profitable Pitch

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As a communication coach, one of the top questions entrepreneurs ask me is how to deliver a winning pitch to potential investors. They want to know if there’s a magic formula to get an investor to say yes and buy into their dream and their business. (more…)

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The 4 Pillars of Wealth and Abundance

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Have you ever wondered what the formula for a wealthy and abundant life is? Many people have. Lots has been written about the subject of wealth creation and living an abundant life. It was a breaking point in my journey and pursuit of success when I found out that there is a clear path to achieve success in life. Thanks to those who have shared their journey, we can clearly see and follow the principles of prosperity. (more…)

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Here Are 4 Reasons Why You Should Have a Podcast, Youtube Channel or Online Show

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Confidence comes from a place of strong understanding of self. After close to three years on radio, I’ve grown from a shy introvert to a shy introvert with an extrovert persona. When the mic is turned on, I can channel a version of myself that some say is attractive, strong, and of course, confident but it wasn’t always this way.

What I want to share with you is what I discovered on this journey into broadcast that you can apply to your life, your ventures, and your personal development. This doesn’t require any fancy gear. It does require a leap of faith on your part because once you go down the road of media; it can change your life.

1. Perceived Expertise

When you go to a doctor, you expect their knowledge will guide them to a solution to your problems. When you have a show, you become your listeners’ doctor. For all the multiple thousands, maybe millions, of YouTube channels, podcasts, and user-created content in the world, each person that gets behind a mic takes a position on their passion, their opinions, and their themes.

They challenge the status quo for the benefit of their listeners in hopes to entertain and educate. With consistency on your side, those fans place you on a platform and give you permission to influence them.

2. Global Acknowledgement

One of the benefits to increasing confidence is when you receive thank you notes from people you may never meet. The feeling of enriching someone’s life from halfway around the globe, provides validation you’re enhancing someone else’s life with your wisdom and your wit.

The very first time I was told I was making a difference in someone’s life in a country other than my own, I felt like I caused massive impact that transcends my circle of influence. When you experience just how much you can cause impact and it comes back to you, it’ll change your worldview.

“Be grateful for what you have and stop complaining – it bores everybody else, does you no good, and doesn’t solve any problems.” – Zig Ziglar

3. Backed By Numbers

One of the most exciting ways to measure success is to quantify your growth. It’s not enough to just broadcast. Having subscribers and downloads helps to know, numerically, how well you’re doing. Word of caution. This can be a way to set yourself up for distress because of number envy but if you understand what the numbers mean; you can control the narrative of the numbers.

The major number that makes most people smile is 10,000. I’d advise it to be 1. Here’s why. As you grow in your industry, so does your reach. If you learned that the one person that subscribed totally changed for the better because of you, wouldn’t that be worth the effort?

4. Effective Communication

While it’s not talked about much, having a show is documentation. You create a dynamic account of your life, your industry, and the pulse on what’s important simply by having a show. When you find a channel to improve your communication skills, you demand attention and people will listen to you. You become more trusted as a leader and people will follow you once they believe you can lead them to their wants and needs.

“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.” – Tony Robbins

These insights have helped many people become leaders and, ultimately, move others to their best selves. It’s worked for me and I hope it works for you. At the end of the day, it’s all about showing up and showing out.

Have you ever thought about having a radio show? If so, what would you talk about? Let us below!

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