Life

4 Ordinary Actions That Empower You to Create an Extraordinary Life

Published

7 years ago

Aug 2, 2016

Why are there only a few that truly live an extraordinary life while the majority is “dying” inside and giving up on their dreams? Were they born special or more significant than you and I?

When I was a child, I believed that only the “chosen” ones get to know what extraordinary feels like. I was raised in a low-income family and we often didn’t have money. When I looked around, it always seemed as though others were better off than us.

Fortunately, when I was 20 years old, someone handed me the movie “The Secret.” It was a starting point when I realized that we aren’t born special. We all have the opportunity to live and experience an extraordinary life. We all have the greatness within us. Being extraordinary means doing the ordinary activity on a constant basis.

Here are 4 simple actions which will help you to produce remarkable results and create a magnificent life:

1. Commit yourself beyond possible

Have you ever heard about highly talented people who live miserable lives? Do you know anyone who wasn’t as talented as others but achieved significant results? I certainly do because the world is full of these examples. Talent is important, but commitment pulls you through the worst and keeps you on track.

People who are firmly committed scare me in a good way. There is something “crazy” about them. Their energy is intense, and you can feel that they are not going anywhere until they get what they want.

Being committed requires your patience and dedication. Always focus on the end result. Don’t beat yourself down with temporary failure because it only disempowers you. Your goal is clear so always keep your head up.

“A change is brought about because ordinary people do extraordinary things.” – Barack Obama

2. Have the courage of a lion

Is there anything you always have wanted to try? Have you been stopping yourself with excuses and disempowering self-talk? If so, change it. Find a way to motivate yourself and do it in spite of fear. Everyone is afraid at some point in life. The important thing is to overcome this illusion of fear.

A great way to take the first step is to remember a courageous moment from your past. Maybe you moved to another country that scared the heck out of you? Maybe you went to college which seemed impossible before? Or you experienced some hardships and overcame it?

Visualize this moment, feel it as it is happening right now. Put your mind and body into that state so you can experience the feeling of confidence and courage again.

3. Be in service to others

If you look at any successful person, they all have one thing in common. They are in service to others. They are donating money, building schools in developing countries, improving animal shelters, helping people with cancer, you name it.

They are extraordinary because they are making a significant difference in the lives of others. It doesn’t matter what you decide to contribute. Maybe it is your time, money or clothes. The important question is: “Are you making a difference in someone’s life?” That’s all you have to ask yourself.

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” –Mahatma Gandhi

4. Accumulate enough pain to make a change

What bothers you in life? Do you feel strongly dissatisfied with who you are? Do you feel stuck and it seems like you are walking in a circle and can’t get out? Something is stopping you from making a change, and it’s painful. I totally get it because I was there.

Do you know what pushed me over the edge? Intolerable pain. I couldn’t take it anymore, and it forced me to do anything and everything to change it.

You don’t act when you are happy. You act when you are frustrated, dissatisfied and unhappy because this is what forces you to change. Use it to your advantage and destroy this pain by becoming the person you always wanted to be.

Extraordinary results are often the outcome of dissatisfaction and suffering in life. It is a signal which lets you know that change is necessary in order to create something significant.

What is your recipe for extraordinary life? Share your story and leave a comment below!

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Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Published

2 weeks ago

Jan 25, 2023

Joel Brown (Founder of Addicted2Success.com)

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

1. Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.

Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.

Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.

Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.

These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.

This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.

It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.

These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.

If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.