Life

The 3 Step Formula to Consistently Staying Happy and Successful

Published

6 years ago

May 31, 2017

In life there are a lot of things that will make you unhappy. It could be a hectic schedule, things going wrong in your business, relationships in your life falling apart. It seems like some days you wake up and everything goes wrong. It puts you in a bad mood and ultimately makes you unhappy. The reality is that we each have a choice to make.

Even though things in our life are going wrong, and not as planned, we decide whether we are going to give in to our emotions and feelings or if we are going to make a decision to step up to the plate and do something about it. Ultimately you are the one that is responsible for your happiness.

Here are three things you can do in your life every day to stay in a consistent state of happiness:

1. Harmony Within Self

You wake in the morning and must prepare yourself for the day in every aspect, starting with taking care of you first. The idea that one cannot pour from an empty cup comes to mind during this process. In order to help others physically, emotionally, spiritually, and in any form we must first care for ourselves and nurture ourselves in these areas. A cold shower in the morning will wake you up out of any tired, lagging feeling; a fully alert and conscious mind is necessary.

Doing the typical morning preparations of brushing teeth, deodorant, combing hair, etc. are all needed as well; however, ending that routine with spraying a spritz of a nice fragrance that you enjoy having on your person, can and will help you be in a happier state of being.

Prayer, meditation, or taking a moment of a span of a few minutes to reflect on all of the good and positive things that you have going in your life. Surrounding yourself with a feeling of gratefulness and thankfulness will also ensure you are in a happy state of mind to take on your day and interact with others in a positive way.

“For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

2. Harmony with Humanity

Now, that you have prepared yourself physically and mentally, as you start your day, outside of your home, do a random act of kindness for a stranger. Whether you pump gas in the morning at your local corner store, pick up coffee at a coffee shop, or are stopped at a red light, extend to someone an act of kindness. How?

Pay for someone’s gas, buy someone’s coffee for them, hand a couple of dollars to a homeless person at the corner, buy someone breakfast. The list can go on forever; but challenge yourself to reach beyond your comfort zone and choose something to do to make a complete stranger’s day just a little better.

3. Harmony With Others

Because of our love and respect for ourselves that we have and our willingness to help someone that we don’t even know, finding harmony in nurturing the relationships that we have with people in our lives will become a lot easier. Whether these people are co-workers, supervisors, clients, neighbors, friends, family, spouses, etc. Making sure that we are adding value to the relationships that we have with people is vital to our happiness and overall success.

Many times the uneasy and unsettling feeling that we have at the end of the day, that ultimately jeopardizes our happiness, is the uncertainty of our standing with those that we value in our lives. So, make sure to cultivate each of those valuable relationships with a kind word, a compliment, sharing a few moments asking how their day is going, a pat on the back, asking what you can do better or more to help them. All of these things can go a long way to make your relationships with others healthy and harmonious.

“If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner.” – Nelson Mandela

What are some things that you do each day that help keep you in a positive mood? Leave your thoughts below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Richard Trevino II

Richard Trevino II is a consultant, speaker, best selling author, and writer for all things personal development. He is also a father and a husband of 12 years that devotes much of his time to helping others, whether successful business people or homeless, struggling addicts to find their inner strengths and utilize those strengths to change their lives. His mission is to help people become a better version of themselves today, to forever change their tomorrow. You can find him on Facebook or www.richardtrevino2.com.

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Published

1 week ago

Jan 25, 2023

Joel Brown (Founder of Addicted2Success.com)

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

1. Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.

Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.

Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.

Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.

These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.

This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.

It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.

These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.

If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.