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Here’s Why People Get Mad When You Achieve Success

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There’s no denying that success comes in different “shapes and sizes”. You could be successful financially, romantically, or health-wise. And if you’ve always found yourself to be advantaged in some way, then you must already know that some people feel a little envy towards you, (and may want to take what you have), but you can understand where they are coming from. However, what is perplexing is when the people you’ve always known suddenly become jealous when you begin to win or shine more. And when you think about it, the logical conclusion would be “they should be happy for me now that I’ve achieved success”, but this is not the case at all times and that’s the harsh reality of life.

But why?

Why Do People Resent Your Success?

The thing about success is that it creates a huge – and very noticeable – gap. There is a big difference between someone making $10,000 monthly, and someone doing $1 million monthly. There is a huge difference between a single person and someone who is (not just dating but) married. There is a major difference between someone who is obese and a supermodel. And so on.

And that gap brings about a lot of awkward feelings – even for those who still wish you well.

Success (in any endeavor) is by nature hard to reach, and achieving it automatically places you in a higher position – no matter how humble or friendly you might be. If it were easy, then everyone would have achieved it. And, since it might be something other people in your industry want but can’t get to, it makes sense that they feel a bit distant from you (as they feel like you are now above them), which breeds envy.

Envy is a desire for something someone else has that you do not have. Not everyone would feel envious about you – especially if they do not value, or want what you have. For instance, getting a Ph.D. may cause fellow students to feel a bit envious, but it won’t faze an athlete  – because having a Phd. is not a milestone or something they wanted to have in the first place.

But, on the other hand, even people who do not need nor want what you have may still feel jealous over your success; not necessarily because you have succeeded, but because you have become “successful”.

You see, jealousy comes when they don’t want you to keep what you already have. A friend may begin to feel jealous because you now get to hang out more with other people (who are now in your new “higher” league) and less with him/her. Family may feel jealous that you left the small town for a big city. And unhealthy friends may feel jealous that you now look more fit and visit the gym more often whilst spending less and less time in the bar and McDonalds…

Whether envy or jealous, they all happen because of your success, and they can’t be helped by those feeling them. In fact, if someone denies feeling a bit of those – i.e. if they deny not feeling a bit jealous or envious – chances are that they are lying to your face. Jealousy and envy are as natural as laughter and anger.

The issues only arise when they get out of control.

“There are two types of people who will tell you that you cannot make a difference in this world: those who are afraid to try and those who are afraid you will succeed.” – Ray Goforth

Not Everyone Is Happy About Your Success

Toxic levels of envy and jealousy can be very, very destructive; so you should watch out for those. 

Jealousy or envy is popularly referred to as the “green-eyed monster” because it actually feels like another being emerging from inside. It takes a lot of self-control and the proper mindset to conquer the green monster. It takes a greater level of personal development to transmute envy and jealousy into inspiration and drive.

There is a famous saying which goes, “There are two ways to build the tallest building in town: Build a taller building, or tear down all the other buildings around it.”. While most people would allow their jealousy to just seethe within them without doing anything (because of the law and their inability), few would go out of their way to rain on your parade, throw you under the bus or crash the party altogether.

They may try to downplay your success, push your buttons, spread rumors about you, connive, betray, and sabotage you; as well as attempt to punish you by withdrawing from or ghosting you. The result of all these is often messy.

So, how do you deal with it?

How Do You Deal With Someone Who Is Jealous Of You?

Experiencing jealousy and envy are common in life – especially for those who are always looking to improve their lives – hence it is crucial that you know how to deal with jealous people (especially if they are family, friends, or colleagues). Below are some very simple things you can do that helped me deal with envious people: 

  • Empathize: Accept that it is a natural response that most people can’t help. Don’t feel disappointed by their jealousy. Understand and empathize with them.
  • Don’t Take It Personal: If they might have said or done something out of jealousy, it is important to realize that it is not about you; rather it is about them – and their own insecurities.
  • Don’t Apologize: Don’t feel bad for succeeding. It is a good thing to succeed. Success is the best thing you can do for yourself and the world. If someone is lagging behind, it’s not your fault they’re behind. They are the ones who need to put in the work and level up, who need to transmute their jealousy and envy, who need to strive to succeed because you have proven to them that it is possible.   
  • Don’t Attack: In most cases, the envious or jealous person cannot do much to you if you don’t dwell on them. They would try to trigger you, but you are better off ignoring them.
  • Encourage Them: You can become the bigger person by sincerely encouraging them – this is particularly important if the people who are jealous of you are under your leadership. You want to make friends, not foes.

So when next you see someone acting out of envy or jealousy, don’t be quick to think they hate you. It is just one of those awkward things that comes with achieving success. It is just one of those things that make success interesting. It is just a spice to life.

Growing up being called fat took a toll on Reniel Anca’s self-esteem. This would typically hinder a person from achieving their full potential — not him, though. He faced up to the challenges presented by both his external and internal demons and is now an accomplished writer, self-confidence coach and author who seeks to bring the best out in people through his motivational words and coaching services.   

Success Advice

5 Secret Codes to Making The New Year a Winning Year

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We just had a new year come to pass. And you are probably looking ahead wondering how to make this a winning year. And I am here to unlock with you the 5 evergreen secrets that I have learned that helped me to win year after year. (more…)

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5 Hacks to Beat Fear and Become More Successful and Abundant

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How Sports Can Greatly Improve Productivity in a Business

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We have all known for a long time how valuable sport is for all spheres of our life. By leading an active lifestyle, you can improve your appearance and health, normalize your emotional state, and reduce stress. Among other things, sport can significantly influence your productivity at work and in business. 

How Sport Helps Well-Known CEOs to Succeed In Business

There are many examples of outstanding businessmen who do sports without any excuses and even with great pleasure. Exercising seems to support their passion for life and innovation, energize them, and move on. Let’s look at the prominent business representatives and their sports hobbies.

Tim Cook, Apple CEO, prefers working out in the gym every day for an hour at 5 a.m. The head of Apple used to go in for rock climbing and still goes hiking. Cycling also remains one of his most important sports. In addition to playing sports, Cook goes to baseball and rugby matches. Also, he makes sure that he makes at least 8,000 steps per day. Tim believes that doing sports helps to avoid stress.

Mark Zuckerberg, the creator of Facebook, goes in for sports at least three times a week. Most often he runs, sometimes even with his dog. Zuckerberg always likes to try new sports: surfing, foiling, fencing, rowing, or spear throwing. An interesting fact: in 2016, he challenged himself to run 365 miles during the year. He completed that goal in the middle of the summer. The Facebook founder believes that exercising allows him to stay more energetic. While energy is needed to complete any task at work, sports have become an integral part of his life. Mark claims that he frequently catches insights and new ideas during sports activities.

Nick Woodman, GoPro founder, with his love of surfing, was inspired to create one of the most famous companies in the world today. At first, he used the already existing tools to film his surfing sessions, which led to the idea of creating a professional camera for active sports. Besides surfing, he is known for his love for snowboarding and race car driving. He is confident that people deserve to do exactly what they love in their lives. This story, like no other, demonstrates the close connection between sports and business.

Larry Ellison, Oracle founder, is passionate about sailing. He often participates in risky sailing regattas. People say that Ellison was striving to get rich just in order to get himself a fashionable and expensive yacht. Now, he even owns his sailing team Oracle Team USA. In addition, he is famous for his love for planes and golf. Needless to say, Larry has assets in various sports clubs. Ellison asserts that ​​sports and competition keep people on their toes and give them the motivation to take new initiatives.

Do Sports and Business Have Something in Common? 

Evidently, sports and business have many things in common:

  • A unique sense of teamwork. Both in work and sports, you need to work in conjunction with all participants in the process. Sport, like nothing else, develops this ability to the maximum. If you want to win, play, taking into account the opinion of everyone in the team.
  • Ability to go all the way. In no sport can you reach the finish line by stopping halfway. It seems that exactly the same thing happens at work.
  • Skill to make every effort. Whatever you do, there is always someone who does it better. In such conditions, there are no options but to do your best to achieve the goal.
  • Competitiveness. What, if not sport, develops the value of the competitive spirit? The ability to accept a challenge from someone who is better than you is a skill that drives you so much in business.
  • Self-discipline. All athletes comply with the daily regimen, follow several specific rules every day to stay in good shape. Do the world’s top businessmen not follow the same principles?
  • Endurance. It so happens that you can lose 10 times in a row. And only the strongest and most prepared person will go to fight for the eleventh time. Such resilience is a must in both business and sports if you want to achieve something.

Tips on How to Sports Can Help You Succeed in Business

Let’s take lessons from these successful people and bring sports to our lives. There are a few life hacks that will make your  way to success smoother:

  • Try out different activities to figure out which one suits you the most. Sometimes you choose this very sport that, instead of bringing pleasure, demotivates you. There are a huge number of different workouts, from an elementary run on your own to squash in pair or team volleyball. Don’t give up if you didn’t find your passion on the first try.
  • Start small. If you are not planning to become the best athlete in the world, do not overload yourself at the very beginning. There are tons of workouts that last 7 minutes, for example. If you have demotivating fatigue after exercising, just slow down. Start small, and step by step it will become easier and more enjoyable for you.
  • Find like-minded people who motivate and challenge you. When a competitive spirit emerges, playing sports becomes even more exciting. You can go in for group sports and find friends. Or just chat in apps with those who are going towards the same goal. If you have a friend who also lacks the motivation to start, it’s a nice idea to start together!
  • Introduce sports into your daily routine. For example, you can create a ritual to do a short yoga workout between waking up and boiling the kettle.
  • Create a plan for the week ahead. Once you’ve made a plan for your workouts for a specific time, it is psychologically much easier to tune in to training. But don’t berate yourself too much if you missed a workout, catch up tomorrow.
  • Praise yourself. When you succeed, don’t underestimate it. Great efforts should be rewarded not only with a pumped-up body and a clear mind but also with self-love.

Now, no one can have the slightest doubt that sport helps you stay physically active and healthy, improve your emotional state, and excel in business. Start today and be successful forever!

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