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5 Ways to Ditch the Resolution in 2022 and Create the Solution

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new years resolution

As another new year is upon us, millions upon millions of people have already carved out their resolutions for the new year.  Some will want to lose weight, others will want to make more money, or possibly even get rid of a bad habit.  The Google search definition of the term resolution is the decision to do something or not do something.

It also yielded a second definition as being the action of solving a problem, dispute, or contentious matter.  I would almost bet that for those who will be declaring a New Year resolution for 2022, haven’t put significant thought to the steps that they will need to take to see their resolution to its logical conclusion.

The previous year was a huge discovery year for me.  It has opened up many new doors and opportunities, it has closed some, and it has taught me a lot about myself and the things I need to add to life and those things that I need to eliminate.  That is why I am ditching the new year resolution bandwagon and jumping on the new year solution train.

According to the same Google search, the definition of solution is the means of solving a problem or dealing with a difficult situation.  I think that so many people are running through life with the anticipation of just getting by, majority are living paycheck to paycheck, and for so many they are putting down one vice just to pick up another.  

While many might disagree with me here, I personally believe that the difference in always having to create a new year resolution year over year or enacting a new year solution are the calculated and thought out steps of how you will achieve a new beginning or outcome and only move forward rather than looking to stop a habit that you keep repeating.  

Below are my five keys to make your solutions stick in 2022 and beyond:

1. Set Your Goals

Setting your goals is vital and while many say that they have goals, there is something to be said for writing them down and consistently looking at them every single day.  This daily reminder is important because you are more likely to move towards solving the problems your goals are based upon by always having them in your windshield.  

Also make sure that your goals are those meant to please you first and not to please others first.  It’s important to know that the more realistic you get with the goals you want to achieve, the more realistic others will get around you in terms of helping you get there.

“Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.” – Tony Robbins

2. Limit Your Circle Of Influence

Shrink the circle of those you call confidants.  What I found to be an issue for me last year was having a lack of focus on achieving a goal first before I started to try and set another one or even move on to a bigger one.  I also noticed that I had too many mentors and was a part of too many groups that I was using to help me, guide me, and learn from.  

What I learned is that having too many voices is more of a crutch than a help for any person looking to improve their situation.  Get very clear first on who you are and what you want to truly achieve and then build a tight knit circle of those around you that will, no matter what, help push you towards your achievements and keep you focused on the tasks at hand.

3. Create A Habit Of Consistency

Consistency is a behavior that everyone should be looking to create for themselves in the new year.   It shows diligence, professionalism, and an overall sense of dedication to one’s self.  The muscle memory you will build through a consistent routine of action day after day will not create short term wins but will rather build the blueprint of long term gains.

By creating consistency in your daily routine, activities, personal and professional actions, you are setting yourself up to become more trustworthy by your peers, confident in yourself, and self-aware of what truly matters most on your path to achieving your goals.  This won’t be pretty, and will sometimes be boring, but it will pay off in the bigger picture down the road.

4. Prioritize Your “Needs” First

Too many people have a “wish” list or a want-to-have vision board.  The problem with this is that these things are great to want but for many are not a need or solve an immediate problem for them.  That is why, in my opinion, every year the majority of resolutions are those that weren’t fulfilled from previous years.  

How many of you are still trying to stop smoking or still trying to lose weight?  How many of you are setting resolutions to make more money or buy a new car?  Ask yourself this, do you need more money or do you need a new car?  Let’s get more specific.  Do you need to make a million dollars or do you want to?  

Making your needs a priority first will only laser sight your focus and keep the main things the main things.  It’s not a bad thing to want big and fancy things in life, but if you are truly trying to create a better life then its the needs that must be accomplished first.

“It is not a daily increase, but a daily decrease. Hack away at the inessentials.” – Bruce Lee

5. Make It Personal

So you want to make an impact? You want to help others?  How can you effectively do that if you haven’t accomplished your goals first?  Someone once told me that it is hard to talk to a millionaire if you have never made a million dollars yourself.  That hit home with me because what he was telling me was that I should focus on making my first million and then discussing with others how to make my second.  

By getting personal or even a little selfish in achieving things for yourself first, you will only help strengthen your mindset and build the confidence in others that will help you along the way. There is an old saying that the only person who can help you is you; however, you can find some true guidance along the way to make that journey a little less painful but only if you are truly being honest with yourself about what you want to achieve.

Stop recreating the wheel or even resetting the same resolution every year.  Stop waiting for the new year to roll around before you want to try change your situation or even improve your life.  

Get serious about solving your problems and developing habits of change because you are ditching a new year resolution for finding the solutions to those things that have held you back from achieving all you’ve always wanted to achieve.

What are you going to do differently this year to make this year the best one yet? Leave your thoughts below!

Matt Crane is a former NCAA & Professional athlete turned sales and marketing entrepreneur.  In 2014 Matt launched his company Matt Crane Enterprises and now helps companies grow their sales and marketing presence. Matt is a professional blogger and ghostwriter featured in publications such as Huffington Post, Influencive, and Prsuit.  He launched the Power Of Great Podcast in July of this year where he has interviewed successful entrepreneurs and business leaders such as Grant Cardone, Shawn Thomas, Jeffery Gitomer, and John Lee Dumas to name a few. Matt believes that your current situation is not your defining moment and that is why he is addicted to success.

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The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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