Life

5 Types of People You Should Limit Your Time With When Chasing Your Dreams

Published

6 years ago

Jun 1, 2017

Everybody has that person that they spend too much time with. That person that stops us from following our dreams or talks us out of taking a risk. Now more than ever, it’s extremely important to consciously choose who we spend time with because ultimately who we hang around with has an influence on the decisions we make in life whether we realize it or not.

One of my favorite quotes is from Jim Rohn, “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”. This quote was an eye opener for me. I looked around the people I spent the most time with and realized there were a few that I needed to limit my time with.

Here are 5 types of people you should limit spending your time with:

1. The complainers

The complainers are the people that are always complaining about how bad their life is or how bad their job is. They constantly complain about everything but never do anything about it. Being around the constant complainer can eventually take a toll on you and you will start to join in on the complaints and before you know it you have just adopted the same way of thinking as the negative friend. If you have one of these types of people in your life, make sure you cut back on the time spent around this individual.

2. The entitled

The entitlement mindset has become increasingly common. These are the people that feel as if they are entitled to certain things in life. They feel they do not have to work for anything and feel that the Government or anyone around them owes them something. They will be the ones to try and talk you out of following your dreams.

They will tell you that the Government won’t allow you to be successful and they will take all of your money. This mindset can be deadly to a person trying to be successful. This mindset completely halts your determination and can kill your success in a heartbeat. We are not entitled to anything at all. If we want a good life we have to create a good life.

“Be humble, be hungry and always be the hardest worker in the room.” – Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson

3. The conformers

Unfortunately, the conformers are the most popular of all. They are the ones that conform to the limits set on them. They do not have any dreams they are chasing after and they are not doing something that goes against the status quo.

They are simple living like robots; waking up, working 40 hours a week at a job they hate, and going home and sleeping. There are many people who are content with this and that is perfectly fine. But a person that is following their dreams simply cannot conform to the average lifestyle.

I believe, the best way to go about this is, while working that full time job, put in the extra effort on the side to start building towards something that is in line with your dreams. Then eventually you will be able to leave that full time job and pursue your passion.

4. The party animals

The party animal in your group is usually the one that wants to go out drinking every night. Usually these types of people can break your focus on your dreams. I believe that you do have to take some time to relax and clear your head so you can refocus but going bar hopping every single night is not going to get you the life you are after. It is more of a distraction than anything. Limit your time with the person that always wants to go out because if you don’t you will lose focus of everything you are trying to achieve.

5. The doubters

These types of people can be downers. They will listen to your big dreams but they will be the first ones to tell you they don’t think it is a good idea or they will tell you not to get your hopes up. They are the ones that believe you have to be somebody in order to do something extravagant. As somebody who is chasing their dreams, this can be very discouraging.

You don’t want to hear someone that you spend a lot of time with say something that can kill your spirit. It is extremely important to keep people around you that encourage you and lift your spirits when you are losing motivation. Identifying the doubters in the group that you spend the most time with will be beneficial to you and your success in the future.

“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.” – Suzy Kassem

It is vital to your success to surround yourself with people that will encourage you to chase your dreams. They will be your biggest support team through the good and the bad. Surrounding yourself with the right people can ultimately play a huge role in your success.

Check out the video below of the 5 toxic people you should avoid. Share this video!

Which one of these people do you think is most important to stay away from and why? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Tyler Leslie

Tyler Leslie is the Co-Founder of Clipfluence, a video editing subscription based service that takes your video content and turns it into engaging shareable content in various formats for a no brainer monthly fee. He has been in the online content space for 7+ years. He has worked with highly renowned business owners, high performance coaches, franchise owners, MLM leaders and more. His experience in the content space is far and wide. Everything from content management and creation for a blog that has had over 300 million views worldwide, to social media management for several different brands that have 1 million+ followers, to managing ecommerce stores and more. Content is a true passion for Tyler. He believes that content has the power to influence and change the world. You can connect with Tyler on his personal Facebook page.

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Published

2 weeks ago

Jan 25, 2023

Joel Brown (Founder of Addicted2Success.com)

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

1. Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.

Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.

Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.

Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.

These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.

This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.

It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.

These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.

If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.