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How to Steer Your Life in the Right Direction and Define Your Life’s Purpose

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how to find your life purpose
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Do you know that Colonel Harland David Sanders was 65 when he founded Kentucky Fried Chicken, better known in its abbreviated form, KFC? Most of us know Col. Sanders for starting KFC, which is now a big name in the fast-food industry. However, 65 is not the age when people usually find the purpose of life. But again, is there any time limit for finding the purpose of your life? Well, I don’t think so.

Life does not come with a user guide, and there’s certainly no David Attenborough to do meta-commentary on your life to give a hint of what lies ahead. But it does not mean you should wander around aimlessly like a leaf in the wind. You need to understand – “Life does not give us purpose. We give life purpose.” I cannot believe I’m quoting a line from a comic book.

The problem with most of us is that we do not think about having a purpose in life. We do things as we feel important, and that is how we continue our lives. Even a lot of us who are employed and attend work every day may not have any defined purpose in life. And as Thomas Carlyle said it, “A man without a goal is a ship without a rudder.” 

In this article, I’ll try to help you define your purpose in life, so that you can steer your life in the right way:

1. Identifying The Purpose In Life

The path to finding your purpose in life begins with the realization that you were created to solve a problem. Once you figure that out, finding your life’s purpose is going to be a lot easier. But in order to identify what problems you need to solve in life, you need to get over the fear of facing a problem.

You see, problems are just opportunities that haven’t presented themselves. Every famous inventor you know has faced some problems in their lives, which pushed them to invent things that would solve a problem. 

When Henry Ford mass-produced the automobile, he solved the transportation problem. Similarly, when a company sells a product or service to a customer, they solve one or more problems of the customer.

If you look closely, you will find that problems aren’t necessarily bad. In fact, they provide you with the opportunity to tap your creative potential. However, you need to identify which problems you are here to solve.

“It’s not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something.” – Winston S. Churchill

2. How To Identify The Problems You Are Here To Solve?

The problem with defining life’s purpose is that nobody can tell you what your life’s purpose should be. You need to figure it out yourself. To figure out what your purpose should be, ask yourself a few questions.

  • What do you enjoy doing that you would happily do even without pay?
  • What excites you the most?
  • What do you love? Or what’s your passion?
  • Are you comfortable with what you are becoming as you grow?
  • Are you satisfied with the way your life is proceeding? Or does something seem to be missing? What is it that you think is missing?

When you are able to answer these questions, you will have a clear vision of what your life’s purpose is. Now, you need to live and work on that purpose.

3. How To Approach Life When You Know What Your Purpose Is

It’s unfortunate that most people live their lives without a purpose. They are just like sheep, getting in line and doing what others are doing. Their moves are predictable, and they are too afraid to take risks. That’s something you should not aspire to be. Once you figure out what your purpose is, stay conscious of the meaning of things you do. If you don’t know why you are doing something, perhaps you are off purpose.

If you tend to go off purpose quite often, write it down somewhere and use it to remind yourself why you are working on a certain thing. While reading the description of your purpose, take some time to reflect on the reason behind your actions. In addition, limit yourself to a certain extent. You cannot be everywhere and do everything. Instead of having loads of purposes, choose a few and work on them. Focus is the key here.

As mentioned, there’s no formula or proven theory that can help you find purpose in life. At times, you get an epiphany and realize what you need to do in life at an early age. At other times, it takes ages to figure out your purpose in life, as it happened for Col. Sanders. So, believe in yourself, and try to figure out the purpose of life on your own. And remember, it’s never too late to start over.

“Musicians must make music, artists must paint, poets must write if they are ultimately to be at peace with themselves. What humans can be, they must be.” – Abraham Maslow

Do you know what makes your heart tick? What do you love doing in life? Share your stories with us below! We’d love to hear them.

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Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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Life

How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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