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4 Things You Can Do to Help You Find a Purpose in Life

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purpose

Sometimes you may wake up feeling that your life is somewhat unfulfilled. This is completely normal, and there could be a number of reasons for feeling like you’ve lost your way a little. There are plenty of small changes you can make that will make you feel complete, valued, and as though you have a purpose.

Here are 4 things you can do to find your purpose in life:

1. Follow Your Heart Not Your Head

You may feel unfulfilled or unhappy if you are currently stuck doing a job that your heart just isn’t in. It’s likely that you spend a lot of time at work, so dragging yourself out of bed to do something that you don’t enjoy every day can feel like a real chore.

Your heart is your strongest indicator of your true purpose and passion. So ask yourself what it is that you’re really interested in and love doing. Landing a job in something that you’re passionate about and that excites you will mean you are naturally more joyful and motivated to perform to your full potential. If you’re unsure exactly what your calling is, a great place to start is to ask people close to you for their opinion.

It can be difficult and overwhelming to pinpoint our skills and qualities when we look at ourselves, but others can easily pick up on things that they notice. Be careful not to go in a specific direction purely down to what others think of you, but take note of what your friends and family believe that you’re good at, and use that as a starting point.

“The seat of knowledge is in the head, of wisdom, in the heart.” – William Hazlitt

2. Make Memories Over Money

Many people live to work, when really we should all work to live. So it’s important that we don’t forget to do the living! Set time aside so that you’re able to do things for yourself, rather than focusing all of your efforts on your job. Get up early on your days off, so you can get out there and do you.

Ask yourself, what are the things that you really need to experience or accomplish before you die? Is there anything that you would hugely regret not doing before you die? If these questions do provoke answers, then gather them all together into a ‘bucket list’ or a to-do list, and make sure you do them! It may be that you want to travel a part of the world you’ve always dreamt of going, see your favourite artist in concert, climb a mountain, or run a marathon.

You may want to pick up a new hobby or learn a new skill, go scuba diving or skiing, or face your fears by going bungee jumping, cliff jumping, rock climbing or skydiving. You might want to go stargazing high up in the mountains, see the northern lights, trek through the amazon rain forest, or raft the Grand Canyon. The point is, if you don’t do all of these things while you can, then sooner or later it will be too late.

3. Build Relationships Over Possessions

You could have the latest smartphone, the flashiest car, the biggest mansion, and 10 holiday homes in the most exotic destinations, but unless you have family and friends to share them with, you will still end up being lonely and unhappy. You will live a far happier life if you invest time into building and maintaining relationships with your loved ones.

Stop watching so much TV, or allowing yourself to become consumed by social media, and focus on the real people in front of you. Always make time for those you care about, put your family first and forgive and forget. Although quality is sometimes better than quantity when it comes to friendship, you should make a substantial effort to nurture the relationships you currently have and always make rooms for new ones.

“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” – Carl Jung

Many people believe that their purpose in life is to raise a family, and this could be something you want to do in order to fulfil your life. It could be that this doesn’t feel like an option for you, for example if you haven’t found the right life partner to have a family with yet, or it could be for medical reasons.

Instead of giving up if this is your dream, there are other options such as IVF treatment or you may choose to foster a child. Of course it could be that you simply don’t want children at all, in which case you will have a different life experience.

4. Don’t Forget to Give Back

Although it’s important to take from life what you can in order to try and fulfil it, it’s essential that you remember to give back too. Investing in yourself and your future to ensure all areas of your life are successful is key, but one of the best ways to seek happiness is actually through your service to others.

Perform kind deeds without expecting anything in return, and the rest will follow. You could think about letting others know how much they mean to you, by sending a letter or a text to one of your friends or family members. You could donate unwanted clothes or food to a homeless shelter, or buy a homeless person in the street a warm cup of tea or a meal.

You might want to volunteer at a charity, whether it’s walking the dogs at your local shelter, mentoring vulnerable children or reading to older people in care homes. You could also look at ways to fundraise for your favourite charity, be it a cake sale, a jumble sale, a sponsored walk or bag packing at your local supermarket.

Once you start to give back, you’ll feel a sense of achievement, knowing that you have helped others and made a difference which will make you feel valued and give you a purpose.

How have you been able to find your purpose? Please leave your thoughts below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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