Are you done with the new year new me stuff yet? I’m so over it. Mind you, I gave up the whole new year’s resolutions thingy years ago. I was so done setting myself up for major disappointment that usually came within 3 weeks. So last year was a write off for many of us, am I right?
I suffered one blow after another. By November, I was mentally and emotionally drained, not to mention financially tapped out too. It was a nightmare and I’m glad it’s over. The last two weeks of December, things finally started shifting for me. It was a beautiful end to what I’m going to label “The Worst Year Ever.” It gave me hope that things were going to be ok.
This year I decided I wasn’t going to make the same mistakes I made last year. I couldn’t survive 2 years in a row like that. This year I decided to grow up and get stuff done. I had to revisit 2018 to see what went wrong. Though much of it was personal, I discovered a lot of it had to do with the following things.
Here are 5 reasons why you’re not going to reach your goals this year:
1. You don’t believe you can reach your goals
Seriously. You set a goal, you looked at it, you thought a lot about it and how to do it, but you stopped there. You know it’s going to be hard to reach it, and it’s going to take a lot of work that you’re not used to doing. You’re not sure you’re up for all the hard work, and you really don’t believe you can achieve your goal but looking at it makes you feel good.
Why bother setting a goal if you don’t believe in yourself? Do you not want to reach it? Of course you do. You need to start believing that you can! So many of us have had limiting beliefs plugged in since childhood that leave us feeling unworthy and full of self doubt. It’s time to shut those voices up, pull up your big girl/boy panties and remind yourself “YOU CAN DO THIS.”
2. You’re scared of success
You are. Who wouldn’t be? Many of us are afraid of success. Success is scary! We don’t even know what it feels or tastes like. We are terrified of the unknown. You wish to be standing on stage with your idol giving a speech. You dream of it and almost taste it, but it sure is scary. Perhaps, you want to be a best selling author. That’s scary too!
Do you not feel you deserve success? Do you think you’re not good enough to be on stage with your idols? Maybe you think you can’t write well enough for a best seller? Do you not want success? Yes you do and you are good enough! If you run away from success all the time because of fear, when will you ever achieve it then?
“Procrastination is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the “someday I’ll” philosophy.” – Denis Waitley
3. You lack focus
You know what you want but you have no clear path to get there or you can’t actually even conceptualize it. It’s like you’re drawing on an Etch A Sketch, or maybe you have shiny object syndrome?
You’ve got to write your goal out and take some time to jot down the action steps you need to take to make it happen. You will have to do research and be clear on how you want your goal to manifest. Take notes, write your goal out on a bristle board (or white board) so you can look at it daily! Review it daily and work on it daily. Don’t be wishy washy with your ideas or visualization. See it exactly how you want it and then do what you have to do to get there!
4. You‘re listening to the wrong people
Not everyone knows what they’re talking about. Even the gurus sometimes don’t have all the answers. You will have people tell you your idea is dumb. Stop listening to everyone. Remember, some people secretly don’t even want you to succeed and will pay to watch you fall.
It can be overwhelming reading blogs and following masters who have already done what we want to do (stick to one or two). There is a ton of information out there and you may find yourself drowning in blog reading overload. Follow your heart and don’t get overwhelmed. Keep your focus and ignore the peeps who don’t want you to succeed. They’re just jealous.
“Haters are fans in denial.” – Adam Rippon
5. You won’t step out of your comfort zone
Nothing good comes from your comfort zone, but you already knew that. I get that the comfort zone is a really cozy place to be, but you can’t stay there. Your goal will force you to do things you are terrified of doing.
You have got to be courageous and do things you normally wouldn’t do in order to achieve your goals. Some things may make you feel really uncomfortable and scared, do them anyway. You won’t get anywhere if you don’t take chances.
You are not here for mediocrity. How long are you going to keep hanging on to those limiting beliefs and this fear for? They serve no purpose. It’s time to stop thinking that your goal is too big for you.
How are you going to make sure you achieve your goals this year? Let us know below!
Image courtesy of Twenty20.com
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3 Simple Hacks That Can Recharge Your Willpower and Help You Perform Better at Work
How many times did you wake up feeling like you could conquer the world? You set ambitious goals for the day, you put on your best attire and walked out the door with a big smile on your face but eventually, life took over. Traffic, emails, work, family, and everything else you have around slowly but steadily started to drain your energy and made you feel exhausted.
You run out of battery, and the only solution that seemed viable was to rely on more caffeine. When that stopped working, all the temptations around you started to look much more appealing, and that sense of drive and commitment you had before slowly faded away. This is you running out of willpower.
Willpower: what is it? Why is it limited?
The American Psychology Association describes willpower as “the ability to resist short-term temptations in order to meet long-term goals.” In the book “The Willpower Instinct”, Dr. Kelly McGonigal, explains how every person’s willpower is limited, and slowly depletes throughout the day. The more “willpower challenges” you face, the quicker your reserve drains. Dr. McGonigal divided the different types of willpower challenges you might encounter in three categories:
- I will: We face this type of challenge whenever we should do something, but we simply don’t feel like getting it done right now.
- I won’t: We face this challenge when we try to resist temptation, or we try to keep cool in stressful situations.
- I want: This is a particular type of challenge where we keep track of our long term goals, dreams, and desires. In this instance, we feel like we should take action right now to come one step closer to the goal.
It’s easy to recognize it when you face a willpower challenge because you literally “feel it in your body.” Imagine being really hungry and walking in front of a bakery. The sight and the smell of pastries quickly triggers an “I won’t” type of challenge, and it takes a severe amount of effort and energy to walk away.
Every time you manage to win one of those challenges, a little bit of your willpower reserve gets used. The more challenges you face daily, the harder it will be to stay true to your goals.
Can you train or recharge your willpower?
A growing body of research suggests that willpower should be considered a muscle. To strengthen it, you should exercise it regularly, but you should not overwork it. Therefore, we shouldn’t try to “be good” at all times. Instead, we should learn how to relax and recharge our willpower.
The general advice on how to improve willpower involves sleep, proper nutrition, and regular exercise. This broad and general recommendation is often not downright applicable by most, because it consists of changing various daily habits. Luckily, three very effective hacks have been discovered, that have an immediate effect on our willpower and take just a few minutes to apply.
Here are the 3 ways to refill your willpower reserves:
1. Focused breathing
Breathing, when done correctly, can stimulate the release of calming hormones while reducing the release of stress hormones like cortisol and catecholamines. To make this effective, you should deeply and slowly inhale through the nose for at least five seconds. Fill your belly with air first, then your chest, and when there’s no more space for air, still try to do tiny inhalations through the nose.
You should feel a pulling sensation around your neck and trapezius muscles. Once your lungs are full, try to hold the breath for five seconds, then slowly exhale through the mouth for at least five seconds. If you repeat this process ten to twenty times, you should feel dramatically more relaxed. Use this method several times a day, especially when you’re experiencing high levels of stress or anxiety.
2. Reward yourself when you accomplish a micro goal
According to a recent study, frequent instant rewards can boost motivation, and therefore, willpower. Creating your own reward system can help you to accomplish your to-do list, and also resist temptations. Since every individual has different tastes, you should come up with creative ideas about the small and frequent rewards you will give yourself upon winning any willpower challenge.
You can see this hack in practice in Apps like the popular Duolinguo, where after completing each lesson you get presented with a chance to open a treasure chest. This rewarding system seems to keep the users much more likely to keep learning new lessons.
Your body has an autonomic response to cold water. Getting into a cold shower is a difficult (but minor) willpower challenge on its own. As I previously mentioned, winning a willpower challenge strengthens your willpower muscle. Having a morning cold shower, on top of having multiple health benefits, will set you up for a positive winning streak of further challenges.
High performance is the sum of many small habits. Successful people don’t have an unlimited reserve of willpower, but they do have a set of daily rituals that made them succeed. These three hacks are some of the most effective techniques to develop willpower, but some of them may not fit every individual. You should try to find the perfect mix of daily practices that best fits your lifestyle and likes, so that you can strengthen your willpower muscle and perform better at work.
3 Inspiring Lessons We Can Learn From Jim Carrey About the Law of Attraction
You’ve more than likely heard of Jim Carrey before. Over the years, he has starred in many popular films including The Truman Show, The Mask, and Bruce Almighty (just to name a few.)
But his personality goes a lot deeper than just his comedic persona and movie star charisma. In fact, Jim Carrey is probably one of the most philosophical individuals on the planet!
Although he isn’t in the spotlight as much anymore, throughout the years, he has credited his success and fortunes by applying the Law of attraction into his life. What’s even more inspiring is that Jim Carrey, like you and I, came from humble beginnings. No silver spoon or easy ticket. In fact, his family was very poor throughout his childhood. So what made him so successful in attracting such an extravagant and self-fulfilling life?
Here are 3 lessons you can learn from Jim Carrey when it comes to manifesting your dreams into a reality:
1. You Have To Take Action
“You can’t just visualize then go eat a sandwich”, Jim Carrey says. It goes without saying that the law of attraction does require action. You cannot simply rely on visualizing and expect to see results, especially when it comes to manifesting desires that other people would like to achieve also. E.g. Careers, scholarships, competitions, anything that involves another individual.
Visualization and positive thinking are crucial when it comes to using the law of attraction, but you have to meet the universe halfway with the steps you take as well. We are physical beings that require physical steps to get physical results. The real key is to make daily plans/goals in order to get you closer towards achieving your desires. So after that sandwich, make sure start taking action toward your dreams!
This could be working on your hobbies or passion, applying for that dream job or studying to get better grades. As long as you are moving toward your goals then there’s no reason why it can’t happen. So get out there and kick some butt.
2. Double Down On What You Love
“My father could have been a great comedian but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him, and so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant and when I was 12 years old he was let go from that safe job, and our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father. Not the least of which was that: You can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.”
If this story of Jim Carrey’s father doesn’t pull on your heartstrings and inspire you at the same time, nothing else will! This is such an undeniable life lesson that everyone needs to learn. A lesson to take risks, push comfort zones and go all-in on what you love doing. So if your dreams, hobbies or goals seem far fetched to the majority, then you are already beating the other 99%.
Be that 1% that’s willing to dream big and rise above the norm. Unfortunately, in today’s society, our ancestral instincts still rule our everyday life. Fear is one of them and controls the majority of our population. It’s scary to push comfort zones and try something new, the thought of failure is often paralyzing to many. But my question to you is, will you look back one day and regret the chances you didn’t take?
3. Keep Your Eye On The Prize
“As far as I can tell, it’s just about letting the universe know what you want and working toward it, while letting go of how it comes to pass.” Holding onto every little detail when it comes to manifesting, can conjure up more harm than good. The reason is that the universe will deliver in ways you might not expect.
If you are too busy wondering when your desires will manifest, comparing yourself to others, or ignoring every sign that doesn’t look like your detailed plan you’ve written down, then you may be missing out on opportunities that are right in front of you! Your visualizations don’t have to be perfect, in fact, it’s better to just let go altogether and focus on the result itself rather than dwelling on every little detail. This doesn’t mean to simply forget about what you want but instead having the confidence it will happen in time.
An example of this is when Jim Carrey wrote himself a check for 30 million dollars. The only detail he knew was that he would earn it through his acting career, and he did indeed achieve this goal! So make sure to tell the universe what you want, but try not to hold onto every little detail!
Jim Carrey is just another person like you and me, with his own personal ups and downs in his road to success. He is someone to look up to when applying the law of attraction in your life too. It doesn’t matter if your goals or desires are different because the core foundation will always stay the same. You can and will do this if you think, feel and act as if it will happen!
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