Connect with us

Life

5 Reasons Why You Aren’t Going to Reach Your Goals This Year

Published

on

Why I'm not reaching my goals

Are you done with the new year new me stuff yet? I’m so over it. Mind you, I gave up the whole new year’s resolutions thingy years ago. I was so done setting myself up for major disappointment that usually came within 3 weeks. So last year was a write off for many of us, am I right?

I suffered one blow after another. By November, I was mentally and emotionally drained, not to mention financially tapped out too. It was a nightmare and I’m glad it’s over. The last two weeks of December, things finally started shifting for me. It was a beautiful end to what I’m going to label “The Worst Year Ever.” It gave me hope that things were going to be ok.

This year I decided I wasn’t going to make the same mistakes I made last year. I couldn’t survive 2 years in a row like that. This year I decided to grow up and get stuff done. I had to revisit 2018 to see what went wrong. Though much of it was personal, I discovered a lot of it had to do with the following things.

Here are 5 reasons why you’re not going to reach your goals this year:

1. You don’t believe you can reach your goals

Seriously. You set a goal, you looked at it, you thought a lot about it and how to do it, but you stopped there. You know it’s going to be hard to reach it, and it’s going to take a lot of work that you’re not used to doing. You’re not sure you’re up for all the hard work, and you really don’t believe you can achieve your goal but looking at it makes you feel good.

Why bother setting a goal if you don’t believe in yourself? Do you not want to reach it? Of course you do. You need to start believing that you can! So many of us have had limiting beliefs plugged in since childhood that leave us feeling unworthy and full of self doubt. It’s time to shut those voices up, pull up your big girl/boy panties and remind yourself “YOU CAN DO THIS.”

2. You’re scared of success

You are. Who wouldn’t be? Many of us are afraid of success. Success is scary! We don’t even know what it feels or tastes like. We are terrified of the unknown. You wish to be standing on stage with your idol giving a speech. You dream of it and almost taste it, but it sure is scary. Perhaps, you want to be a best selling author. That’s scary too!

Do you not feel you deserve success? Do you think you’re not good enough to be on stage with your idols? Maybe you think you can’t write well enough for a best seller? Do you not want success? Yes you do and you are good enough! If you run away from success all the time because of fear, when will you ever achieve it then?

“Procrastination is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the “someday I’ll” philosophy.” – Denis Waitley

3. You lack focus

You know what you want but you have no clear path to get there or you can’t actually even conceptualize it. It’s like you’re drawing on an Etch A Sketch, or maybe you have shiny object syndrome?

You’ve got to write your goal out and take some time to jot down the action steps you need to take to make it happen. You will have to do research and be clear on how you want your goal to manifest. Take notes, write your goal out on a bristle board (or white board) so you can look at it daily! Review it daily and work on it daily. Don’t be wishy washy with your ideas or visualization. See it exactly how you want it and then do what you have to do to get there!

4. You‘re listening to the wrong people

Not everyone knows what they’re talking about. Even the gurus sometimes don’t have all the answers. You will have people tell you your idea is dumb. Stop listening to everyone. Remember, some people secretly don’t even want you to succeed and will pay to watch you fall.

It can be overwhelming reading blogs and following masters who have already done what we want to do (stick to one or two). There is a ton of information out there and you may find yourself drowning in blog reading overload. Follow your heart and don’t get overwhelmed. Keep your focus and ignore the peeps who don’t want you to succeed. They’re just jealous.

“Haters are fans in denial.” – Adam Rippon

5. You won’t step out of your comfort zone

Nothing good comes from your comfort zone, but you already knew that. I get that the comfort zone is a really cozy place to be, but you can’t stay there. Your goal will force you to do things you are terrified of doing.

You have got to be courageous and do things you normally wouldn’t do in order to achieve your goals. Some things may make you feel really uncomfortable and scared, do them anyway. You won’t get anywhere if you don’t take chances.

You are not here for mediocrity. How long are you going to keep hanging on to those limiting beliefs and this fear for? They serve no purpose. It’s time to stop thinking that your goal is too big for you.

How are you going to make sure you achieve your goals this year? Let us know below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Iva is a retired hairstylist turned freelancer from Northern Ontario Canada living a life of freedom, peace and joy in sunny Guatemala. Her two main goals in life are to inspire people around the world with her blogs and to feed hungry little bellies in the poor town she now calls home. Follow her here on Pinterest  or head on over to her website Amazing Me Movement and sign up for weekly in your face inspiration!

Advertisement
3 Comments

3 Comments

  1. Sunday

    Mar 2, 2019 at 10:01 pm

    Wow…. Thanks DMSO much for these. Helpful

  2. Kavleen Kaur

    Feb 12, 2019 at 5:37 pm

    Thank you so much for your post. Keep sharing

  3. Leon Patel

    Feb 5, 2019 at 7:47 pm

    Great article!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Life

7 Ways You Can Increase Your Concentration Right Away

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

In today’s world, an overabundance of information and a large number of distractions is making it increasingly difficult to concentrate on performing the necessary tasks. In this article, I propose 7 simple methods that will train your ability to concentrate, while not taking you from your usual activities. (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

5 Simple Hacks to Help You Develop the Habit That Will Transform Your Life

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

It’s excruciating when we know what’s killing us but we can’t do anything about it because as you know, it is not easy to pull the brake on a high way. According to Napoleon Hill, “remember this always – the best (and one might say the only) way in which old habits may be removed is to form new habits to counteract and replace the undesirable ones”. (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

Why Do We Have An Unconscious Bias and How Can We Manage It?

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

When I hear someone using my name once in a while throughout the conversation we are having, I cannot stop myself thinking “this person must have read Dale Carnegie’s books or must have been influenced by someone who read them…” Have you just recalled a similar moment and it felt nice?

As Dale Carnegie famously said, “Remember that a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest and the most important sound in any language”. Why did Dale Carnegie highlight the importance of an individual’s name to that person in his “How to Win Friends and Influence People” book published in 1936?

Each and every one of us wants to feel special and unique. I guess he recommends using the person’s name in the conversation because that is one of the easiest ways to grab that person’s attention so that we can enhance the chances of getting our point across. However, I am more interested in this from the other side; hearing our names directly addresses our individuality, our need or desire to feel special and unique.  

Let’s park this one for now and we will come back. 

Categorization is essential to our survival

There is countless scientific research telling us about how our brains recognize similarities and put things into categories, which has been crucial to our survival in evolution and still helps us with a lot of things from learning new things to coping with the continuous influx of massive amounts of information through our senses. 

The continuous influx of information is mostly handled by our subconscious mind rather than conscious. It is estimated that our brains receive about 11 million bits of information every second through our senses, of which only 40-50 bits can be processed by our conscious mind. We process more information than we are aware of. The magic here is the subconscious mind.

An example is when you are at a very loud party where you hear a lot of words flying around without you recognizing each one of them, then suddenly, you immediately catch it when you hear your name. Your subconscious had been processing all of those words, without your awareness, but informed your conscious mind when your name was out there because it was relevant to you.

In order to most effectively process this much information and inform the conscious mind with only the relevant ones, our subconscious employs categorization as one of its strategies.

When our ancestors encountered some deadly predators in the African savanna, their subconscious prompted their conscious mind to immediately fight or flight by categorizing the information gathered through their senses into “predator / life threat / take action”. Most probably we are not descendants of the ones that were frozen rather than fighting or flighting! 

Although it is a completely different situation, the same strategy applied in remembering lists. Let’s look at the below two lists.

  1. lion, eagle, shark, leopard, hawk, whale, panther, falcon and dolphin 
  2. lion, leopard, panther, eagle, hawk, falcon, shark, whale and dolphin

The second list is easy to remember because it is reordered into relevant groups even though the content of the both lists are identical.

Subconsciousness is the magic and categorization is one of its key strategies. It is essential to our survival, learning new skills and processing information as well as bringing back the information we had processed and stored. 

This amazing skill has its drawbacks

As a result of our brains’ categorization strategy, we also categorize people, especially if we don’t know them as well as our closest ones.

Imagine I am sitting at the table next to yours while you are having your favorite coffee and working on your computer or reading your novel at your neighborhood coffee shop. I stand up, very calmly grab your bag, and start walking away. Your reaction might be quite different depending on my outfit. It could be much more vocal and harsh if I have a dirty T-Shirt and a pair of torn jeans on. However, if I have some navy colored, 3-piece suit and well-pressed white button up shirt on, you might even say something like “Excuse me, you might have picked up my bag by mistake”. (There is an experiment done by social psychologists which reported similar results)

Similarly, I would not be surprised to hear that my co-worker’s spouse is very skilled and knowledgeable in English grammar and literature because he is an English teacher. However, I would not expect it from my co-worker herself because she is an outstanding chemical engineer.  

This is defined as unconscious bias or stereotyping, as a result of our subconscious brain’s categorization strategy. The outfit I have at the coffee shop impacts your response to my action, because it puts me into a different category in your mind depending on my outfit. My co-worker’s and her spouse’s backgrounds make me put them into different categories, which might mislead me sometimes.

Just like we categorize things, it is very natural that we categorize people.  

The key question here for me is; how do we truly treat people as individuals so that they feel unique, just like as they would want, while we know that our brains categorize people

We can overcome unconscious bias 

Leonard Mlodinow, in his enlightening book “Subliminal”, suggests that “if we are aware of our bias and motivated to overcome it, we can.” That doesn’t mean that we need to fight our brain’s categorization strategy. We just need to employ our conscious mind more when we are working or dealing with individuals. 

Our unconscious bias might tell us scientists are bunch of technical nerds who cannot understand abstract concepts that marketers are talking about or it might say that marketers are some daydreamers who need to be grounded by scientists to the real world all the time. I am an engineer and I love thinking in abstract terms and I worked with quite a lot of marketers who thought primarily in factual and concrete terms. 

Spending some effort to learn more about individuals will help overcome unconscious bias. Gathering more information and qualities about them will make it easier for us to treat them as individuals rather than a member of the category we put them in our minds. 

The moral of the story here is to recognize the fact that our brains do categorize, and it is essential; but also, to recognize that every individual wants to feel unique. When we appreciate these two and keep reminding them to ourselves, we are one step closer to figuring out our own way to overcome unconscious bias and treat people more like individuals. 

What was the most interesting part of this article for you? Share your thoughts below!

Continue Reading

Life

The Problem Is Not Actually the Problem: Here’s Why

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

With my understanding of the Three Principles, which is deepening month-by-month, I’m becoming more curious about whether the ‘problem’ that we think we have, is really a problem. Not for one second am I dismissing a persons’ experience; I’m human after all and I encounter challenges and what I think are ‘problems’ just like the next person. (more…)

Continue Reading

Trending