Connect with us

Life

5 Reasons Why You Aren’t Going to Reach Your Goals This Year

Published

on

Why I'm not reaching my goals

Are you done with the new year new me stuff yet? I’m so over it. Mind you, I gave up the whole new year’s resolutions thingy years ago. I was so done setting myself up for major disappointment that usually came within 3 weeks. So last year was a write off for many of us, am I right?

I suffered one blow after another. By November, I was mentally and emotionally drained, not to mention financially tapped out too. It was a nightmare and I’m glad it’s over. The last two weeks of December, things finally started shifting for me. It was a beautiful end to what I’m going to label “The Worst Year Ever.” It gave me hope that things were going to be ok.

This year I decided I wasn’t going to make the same mistakes I made last year. I couldn’t survive 2 years in a row like that. This year I decided to grow up and get stuff done. I had to revisit 2018 to see what went wrong. Though much of it was personal, I discovered a lot of it had to do with the following things.

Here are 5 reasons why you’re not going to reach your goals this year:

1. You don’t believe you can reach your goals

Seriously. You set a goal, you looked at it, you thought a lot about it and how to do it, but you stopped there. You know it’s going to be hard to reach it, and it’s going to take a lot of work that you’re not used to doing. You’re not sure you’re up for all the hard work, and you really don’t believe you can achieve your goal but looking at it makes you feel good.

Why bother setting a goal if you don’t believe in yourself? Do you not want to reach it? Of course you do. You need to start believing that you can! So many of us have had limiting beliefs plugged in since childhood that leave us feeling unworthy and full of self doubt. It’s time to shut those voices up, pull up your big girl/boy panties and remind yourself “YOU CAN DO THIS.”

2. You’re scared of success

You are. Who wouldn’t be? Many of us are afraid of success. Success is scary! We don’t even know what it feels or tastes like. We are terrified of the unknown. You wish to be standing on stage with your idol giving a speech. You dream of it and almost taste it, but it sure is scary. Perhaps, you want to be a best selling author. That’s scary too!

Do you not feel you deserve success? Do you think you’re not good enough to be on stage with your idols? Maybe you think you can’t write well enough for a best seller? Do you not want success? Yes you do and you are good enough! If you run away from success all the time because of fear, when will you ever achieve it then?

“Procrastination is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the “someday I’ll” philosophy.” – Denis Waitley

3. You lack focus

You know what you want but you have no clear path to get there or you can’t actually even conceptualize it. It’s like you’re drawing on an Etch A Sketch, or maybe you have shiny object syndrome?

You’ve got to write your goal out and take some time to jot down the action steps you need to take to make it happen. You will have to do research and be clear on how you want your goal to manifest. Take notes, write your goal out on a bristle board (or white board) so you can look at it daily! Review it daily and work on it daily. Don’t be wishy washy with your ideas or visualization. See it exactly how you want it and then do what you have to do to get there!

4. You‘re listening to the wrong people

Not everyone knows what they’re talking about. Even the gurus sometimes don’t have all the answers. You will have people tell you your idea is dumb. Stop listening to everyone. Remember, some people secretly don’t even want you to succeed and will pay to watch you fall.

It can be overwhelming reading blogs and following masters who have already done what we want to do (stick to one or two). There is a ton of information out there and you may find yourself drowning in blog reading overload. Follow your heart and don’t get overwhelmed. Keep your focus and ignore the peeps who don’t want you to succeed. They’re just jealous.

“Haters are fans in denial.” – Adam Rippon

5. You won’t step out of your comfort zone

Nothing good comes from your comfort zone, but you already knew that. I get that the comfort zone is a really cozy place to be, but you can’t stay there. Your goal will force you to do things you are terrified of doing.

You have got to be courageous and do things you normally wouldn’t do in order to achieve your goals. Some things may make you feel really uncomfortable and scared, do them anyway. You won’t get anywhere if you don’t take chances.

You are not here for mediocrity. How long are you going to keep hanging on to those limiting beliefs and this fear for? They serve no purpose. It’s time to stop thinking that your goal is too big for you.

How are you going to make sure you achieve your goals this year? Let us know below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Iva is a retired hairstylist turned freelancer from Ontario Canada living a life of freedom and joy in Guatemala. Her two main goals in life are to inspire people around the world with her blogs and to feed hungry little bellies in the poor town she now calls home. Head on over to her website for more inspirational articles and sign up for weekly motivation!  Don’t forget to check out her powerful mini self help eBook store You Are Amazing. Her new signature course “The 21 Day Life Changing Challenge” is now available. Use coupon code ADDICTED2SUCCESS for 50% off.

Advertisement
3 Comments

3 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

Published

on

Image Credit: Canva

Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Published

on

Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
Continue Reading

Trending