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Here’s Why People Change and How You Can Too

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how you can change your life

I was recently participating in a family event. As I was walking by I heard someone saying: “well what can you do about it… That’s her character, and people can’t change.” The fact that people believe that character and attitude can’t be changed always surprises me. I keep hearing this from people who are considered educated yet with all those university degrees, it feels like some very basic truths are missed.

Everything is either growing or disintegrating

Everything in our world is either growing or disintegrating, including our bodies and minds. Likewise a person’s character or attitude is continuously changing. The reason many people think they can’t change is because of habits. A habit is an action that requires no conscious mental effort. This action is so ingrained in us, that we don’t give any thought of whether or not to perform it.

For example, did you have to decide whether to get dressed this morning? Since habits help us manage the data load of our everyday lives, we are usually inclined to make more of them. We become so accustomed to them, that we think they control our lives. That’s why most people think they can’t change. They believe that their habits are stronger than they are. The truth is that our habits are as strong as the power we give them.

Changing our habits is something that requires a big enough reward to do so. If we feel the reward for changing our behavior is big enough, then it would have more power than the habit. So how can you change your attitude?

Here are 3 ways that will help you change yourself and your attitude:

1. Construct a new habit

If habits are ingrained in our behavior it’s only logical that changing them will change our attitude. Choose a habit you wish to change. For example: arriving late for meetings. Start working on it. Be there 20 minutes before the meeting, and then do it again and again. You might think that a new habit takes 21-30 days to form. This is probably not true and originates in a mix of study and folklore.

The more recent studies show that habits take anywhere between 18-254 days to become fully automated. This is not to discourage you from trying out a new habit, but rather so you know that changing habits takes time. So if you slip up on adopting your new habit it’s completely okay, don’t beat yourself up for it.

“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” – George Shaw

2. Think different thoughts

Our thoughts are vibrations in certain frequencies that we send out. Whatever we send out, the universe returns back.  Just think of a radio station that is tuned to a certain station. Each station is a different frequency, and in order to receive a different broadcast, we simply change the tuned frequency.

This is the same with our thoughts. Once we change the frequency of our thoughts, we would receive different results. So negative (low-frequency) thoughts will bring negative results, and high-frequency thoughts will bring positive results.

Use the below exercise to change your thoughts:

Choose any object. It could be a person or an inanimate object that has some relation to yourself. For 5 minutes, think about all the good things this object/person brings into your life. How does that object/person make your life easier or more enjoyable? Then, focus on acknowledging the good and give thanks for having that object/person in your life. This exercise immediately switches the vibration you are currently on into a more positive one. It is actually possible to feel the change of feeling when we give thanks for the good in our life.

3. Adopt a new perspective

The way we look at things affects our thoughts about them. Everything just is. We are the ones that give meaning to it based on the way we perceive it. So changing our behavior can be achieved by changing the way we perceive things.

Let’s say that you didn’t manage to complete your daily tasks one day. One perspective could be that there aren’t enough hours in the day to do everything. However, shifting the perspective could mean that we could look at the situation as if you are simply prolific. You are simply a very fruitful person. Feels better, right?

One exercise to help shift your perspective is to write down whatever bothers you on a piece paper. Then sit a table where you can see the paper. Choose 2-3 people you respect and think highly of. They could be someone you personally know, or even historical figures (my favorite is Churchill).

Then sit at the table with the paper in front and say out loud everything that bothers you about the written subject. Once you finish, move to a different place at the table and imagine what one of the people you chose think about the situation. What would he have to say? Act as that person, and say his thoughts out loud.

Do that a few times while switching chairs and people, so you’d have a range of perspectives to choose from. Then adopt the perspective that you like best.

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” – Socrates

Our attitude towards things is comprised of our thoughts, feelings and actions. These three are inseparable. Just as if you have a cake, which has ingredients that construct the whole, so does our attitude and it is constructed of these 3 parts.

We can change the minute we decide to. Our attitude is plastic, and can change at any point in life. It only requires us to decide we want to change, commit to our decision and keep at it until we feel the shift. After that, repeating the new pattern would make it our new nature. So next time you hear someone say that people can’t change, tell them how you did.

Life

A Simple but Effective Technique to Be More Confident

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Many people want to learn how to be confident in different situations, but it’s not always easy. Maybe we’re too addicted to comparing ourselves or maybe social media has brainwashed us to believe that we should all be rich, famous, and in incredible shape. (more…)

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Knowing Your Message vs Delivering Your Message

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Have you ever sent a text message only to have it misinterpreted by the person reading it? Happens all the time. Have you ever given a presentation that you were totally prepared for only to have it fall flat? Happens all the time. Have you ever had someone ask you something like, “Why are you mad?” when you were not at all mad? Happens all the time. (more…)

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The 3 Most Important Things I Learned About Personal Growth

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When you look back on your life, what do you want to think about? Do you plan to reminisce on all of the good things that have happened and how they shaped who you are today? Or would you rather remember all of the bad decisions, challenging experiences, and mistakes made that hurt or wasted a portion of your life?

In my opinion, I think it is important to reflect on both. While it’s important to remember the hardships we’ve been through in our lives – without them we wouldn’t be where we are now. There are 3 very specific areas that I feel have helped me grow in a personal sense more than anything else in my life so far. 

These aren’t simple lessons in a book or a lecture that you can just absorb and apply to your life. These are things that I’ve learned through experience and reflection, and I’m still learning and growing today.

1. We determine how much we’re worth by what we think about ourselves, others, and life in general.

This might seem like a pretty obvious lesson in life but it’s actually one of the most important because we can determine our own worth by how we think about ourselves and the world around us. If you’re looking for success in any kind of business or social setting (dating), then I’ll tell you right now that it doesn’t matter if you have 10 billion dollars or not – people are still going to judge you based on your thoughts and beliefs alone.

What determines our value isn’t necessarily what we do with our lives (which is often based on luck) but whether or not we believe that ‘our work’ is worthy or not in some sort of grand scheme or universe. We may not always be able to control what happens in our lives, but we can always control how we value ourselves and others.

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” – Maya Angelou

2. You don’t have to change your habits or personality just because someone else doesn’t like it – their opinions are THEIRS alone.

This is another one of those lessons that people tend to pick up on a little bit late in life, but if anything that makes its importance even worse! Basically, there’s going to come a time when you’re going to meet someone who has certain expectations of you as a person…but these expectations might not be realistic due to their motivations and personal beliefs. For example, sometimes parents might expect you to be a lawyer or doctor because that’s what they believe is best for their child.

However, this isn’t the case for everyone and so maybe your passion lies in music or writing novels. In this example, if you were also pressured into becoming a doctor – then there would obviously be some kind of conflict going on within yourself as a person. You should never have to give up something that you want to do just because someone else doesn’t like it! The reason why we’re put onto this Earth is to make our own choices and go after our OWN dreams instead of letting others determine what we can and cannot do with our lives .

3. You can’t change your life until you accept that you need to make a change.

When I was younger, I thought that this lesson would be pretty obvious – but as I got older, it really made me appreciate the fact that there are always different ways of perceiving our lives. For example, if someone wants to become rich and famous one day – their mind might simply overshadow any other possibility in their head because they feel like this is what they NEED to do right now.

However, this isn’t always true within our own lives because we think about things too literally instead of having an open mind. If you want to achieve success in any kind of business or social setting (dating) then you should be willing to try out different things instead of staying in your comfort zone. If you want something, then it’s up to YOU to actually go after it – nobody else is going to give it to you!

The three lessons above are some of the main things I want to pass on to everyone because they’ve come at an important time in my life where I need to start thinking about others instead of only myself. It’s great if we can learn to love ourselves first before anything else, but that doesn’t mean you should neglect everyone around you even though they might be your friends and family members!

If you enjoyed this article on the 3 most important things I learned about personal growth, then please share it with your friends and family! Also, check out my other articles on success & motivation as well as life lessons that could help people who are struggling with their life right now on lifengoal.com. Thanks for reading!

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​​4 Boss Level Growth Strategies That Create an Optimized Life

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Building a business is about more than sales, marketing, and flexing on social media. While those things tend to draw attention, they attract the wrong type of clients and are not how you build a sustainable and freedom-focused business. (more…)

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