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Here’s Why People Change and How You Can Too

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how you can change your life

I was recently participating in a family event. As I was walking by I heard someone saying: “well what can you do about it… That’s her character, and people can’t change.” The fact that people believe that character and attitude can’t be changed always surprises me. I keep hearing this from people who are considered educated yet with all those university degrees, it feels like some very basic truths are missed.

Everything is either growing or disintegrating

Everything in our world is either growing or disintegrating, including our bodies and minds. Likewise a person’s character or attitude is continuously changing. The reason many people think they can’t change is because of habits. A habit is an action that requires no conscious mental effort. This action is so ingrained in us, that we don’t give any thought of whether or not to perform it.

For example, did you have to decide whether to get dressed this morning? Since habits help us manage the data load of our everyday lives, we are usually inclined to make more of them. We become so accustomed to them, that we think they control our lives. That’s why most people think they can’t change. They believe that their habits are stronger than they are. The truth is that our habits are as strong as the power we give them.

Changing our habits is something that requires a big enough reward to do so. If we feel the reward for changing our behavior is big enough, then it would have more power than the habit. So how can you change your attitude?

Here are 3 ways that will help you change yourself and your attitude:

1. Construct a new habit

If habits are ingrained in our behavior it’s only logical that changing them will change our attitude. Choose a habit you wish to change. For example: arriving late for meetings. Start working on it. Be there 20 minutes before the meeting, and then do it again and again. You might think that a new habit takes 21-30 days to form. This is probably not true and originates in a mix of study and folklore.

The more recent studies show that habits take anywhere between 18-254 days to become fully automated. This is not to discourage you from trying out a new habit, but rather so you know that changing habits takes time. So if you slip up on adopting your new habit it’s completely okay, don’t beat yourself up for it.

“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” – George Shaw

2. Think different thoughts

Our thoughts are vibrations in certain frequencies that we send out. Whatever we send out, the universe returns back.  Just think of a radio station that is tuned to a certain station. Each station is a different frequency, and in order to receive a different broadcast, we simply change the tuned frequency.

This is the same with our thoughts. Once we change the frequency of our thoughts, we would receive different results. So negative (low-frequency) thoughts will bring negative results, and high-frequency thoughts will bring positive results.

Use the below exercise to change your thoughts:

Choose any object. It could be a person or an inanimate object that has some relation to yourself. For 5 minutes, think about all the good things this object/person brings into your life. How does that object/person make your life easier or more enjoyable? Then, focus on acknowledging the good and give thanks for having that object/person in your life. This exercise immediately switches the vibration you are currently on into a more positive one. It is actually possible to feel the change of feeling when we give thanks for the good in our life.

3. Adopt a new perspective

The way we look at things affects our thoughts about them. Everything just is. We are the ones that give meaning to it based on the way we perceive it. So changing our behavior can be achieved by changing the way we perceive things.

Let’s say that you didn’t manage to complete your daily tasks one day. One perspective could be that there aren’t enough hours in the day to do everything. However, shifting the perspective could mean that we could look at the situation as if you are simply prolific. You are simply a very fruitful person. Feels better, right?

One exercise to help shift your perspective is to write down whatever bothers you on a piece paper. Then sit a table where you can see the paper. Choose 2-3 people you respect and think highly of. They could be someone you personally know, or even historical figures (my favorite is Churchill).

Then sit at the table with the paper in front and say out loud everything that bothers you about the written subject. Once you finish, move to a different place at the table and imagine what one of the people you chose think about the situation. What would he have to say? Act as that person, and say his thoughts out loud.

Do that a few times while switching chairs and people, so you’d have a range of perspectives to choose from. Then adopt the perspective that you like best.

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” – Socrates

Our attitude towards things is comprised of our thoughts, feelings and actions. These three are inseparable. Just as if you have a cake, which has ingredients that construct the whole, so does our attitude and it is constructed of these 3 parts.

We can change the minute we decide to. Our attitude is plastic, and can change at any point in life. It only requires us to decide we want to change, commit to our decision and keep at it until we feel the shift. After that, repeating the new pattern would make it our new nature. So next time you hear someone say that people can’t change, tell them how you did.

Life

5 Ways To Invest In Yourself and Change Your Life

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Warren Buffett once said, the best investment you can ever make is in yourself. Time and money spent on bettering yourself are never considered a waste. Whether it’s through learning how to make money online, exploring new ways to increase your financial security, or watching TED talks to expand your knowledge. Do not be stingy when it comes to self-improvement because it will definitely pay off in the end. 

Need some ideas to get started on your journey to becoming a better you? Here are 5 ways to invest in yourself and transform your life. 

1. Change Your Self-Concept

Having a negative self-concept can have a tremendous impact on your life. Limiting beliefs and self-doubt are some of the main reasons why many never achieve or attempt to pursue their dreams. Take a moment and think about all the negative thoughts you have repeated to yourself throughout your life. How have these thoughts impacted the way you live life? From now on, create a new self-image by turning these negative thoughts into positive ones and appreciate your good qualities. 

2. Sign Up For An Online Course

If you’ve been wanting to brush up on your Photoshop skills or learn how to code professionally, this is the perfect time to get started. As long as you have a stable internet connection, you can access an endless amount of valuable information online. For example, sites like Coursera and Youtube are both awesome resources for online learning. With a few search strings and clicks, you can find all the information you need. 

“Investing in yourself is the best investment you can make. It will not only improve your life, it will improve the lives of all those around you.” – Robin Sharma

3. Learn From a Mentor

No matter which stage of your life you are currently in, working with a mentor can help you stay motivated and focused on your goals. Not only can they guide you in the right direction, but also transform your vision, provide you with new insights, and connect you with amazing resources. If you’re feeling unmotivated or unsure about what you want to do in life, consider finding a mentor to help you navigate this process. 

4. Start A Side Hustle

The salary from a 9-5 job would rarely allow you to reach your maximum income potential. Why not achieve financial success while pursuing your passion by starting a side hustle? Whether it’s through starting an ecommerce business, freelance writing on the side, or starting a Youtube channel. There are infinite numbers of ways to make money, and there is bound to be one out there that fits your passion and skills. 

5. Nourish Your Body

As many may say, “health is the new wealth”. Without a healthy and functioning body, living a fulfilling and comfortable life becomes difficult. To take care of your body and prioritize your wellbeing, start with small habits such as eating healthier foods and exercising regularly. Bike or walk to work instead of taking the car, and opt for a healthy protein bowl instead of greasy burgers at Burger King. With time, these small habits can make an incredible difference.

Check out the infographic below, to see more ways you can invest in yourself:

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How to Turn Inward and Detox Your Mind

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When we are overwhelmed by confusion, our psyche tries to establish certainty to alleviate our discomfort. This is usually accomplished by mentally imagining and acting out a plot. Unfortunately, much of the time, we mentally visualize pessimistic (or worst-case scenario) scenarios to provide certainty. (more…)

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12 Things to Give Up if You Want to Be Productive

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It’s almost euphoric, the feeling of ticking away boxes on the to-do list, at the end of a long day. It’s like you have seized the day or something. With cell phones buzzing every minute with notifications or ringing with a large number of versatile options, it can be hard to maintain focus on your work, and be productive. Luckily with a little determination and following some tips, you can be productive, provided you either cut down on certain things or give them up altogether. (more…)

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5 Tips to Stop the Snowball Effect of Negative Thinking

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Humans are full of complex emotions, but it’s what makes us us. We go through good times and tough times and still keep our heads held high. Life is all about experiencing different things and making memories. Constant change and new experiences are what keep us growing as a person. However, sometimes when we face hardship, it can be hard to move on from it. (more…)

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