Life

5 Damaging Lies Comfortability Tells You Every Single Day

Published

6 years ago

Feb 19, 2017

It is amazing what comfortability will tell you just so that you can stay small and never have the audacity to dream big. Looking back over the years, it is apparent that comfortability has stolen, killed, and destroyed a lot of dreams; whispering it’s sweet nothings into the ears of what was once eager and ambitious people.

Comfortability is the silent investor that is not going to tell you how you are messing up, all it is going to do is give you it’s goods in promises for the return of all of your dreams becoming your distant memory.

Just in case you didn’t know, comfortability is not your friend, was never your friend, and will never be your friend. You see, friends don’t lie and deceive you into believing that what you are doing is healthy for you. Friends push you towards your dreams and not snatch them right from underneath you.

Just in case comfortability has been lying to you, here are five lies that it has told you:

1. You Will Never Be Enough

Have you ever heard that before? As long as you think that you will never be enough, you will never strive for better and greater things. You will always stay small flying underneath the radar just so that you won’t have to come face to face with the ‘not enough’ version of yourself. Before you know it, your life has passed you by and you will then realize that it wasn’t that you were never enough, it was that you never did enough.

“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.” – Maya Angelou

2. Successful People Are Comfortable

In some aspects of that, it’s true. Successful people are comfortable. I’m not ever going to lie to you and tell you being successful doesn’t solve a lot of problems. The thing is that just like anything in life, if you don’t upkeep it, it will lose its value. In order to be successful and stay successful, you have to constantly stretch yourself. Growing pains are exactly that. They are not always meant to feel good while the growth is happening but the results are well rewarded.

3. There Is Too Much To Lose Taking Risks

It’s easy to think that you would fail if you were to take risks and do something that was out of your comfort zone. Yes, there is a possibility that you will fail. Matter-a-fact, you most likely will fail more than you succeed. You will be disappointed several times along the way. You will also be rejected more than approved but when you reach your dreams, goals, and aspirations, all of the failures, disappointments, and rejections will be well worth it.

4. Everyone Is Playing It Safe

Your circle of friends, and support group is crucial during your journey called life. If you believe that everyone is playing it safe, that is because that is what you see and what you have chosen to be around. It is time for you to get some new friends and a better support network. The people who you are around will eventually rub off on you and you will begin to look more like them. If you are always around people who are getting out of their comfort zone and making the very best of their lives, then that is exactly what you will be compelled to do as well.

“He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.” – Muhammad Ali

5. You Have A Lot Of Time Left

This sounds a lot like comfortabilities twin brother procrastination. Procrastination works side by side with comfortability to destroy your dreams. The more that you keep telling yourself that you still have time to start getting out of your comfort zone next week, next month, next year, or next decade; the more that you will see your life pass you by without the fruit of your vision becoming reality. Your dreams are waiting for you right now. They have already came to you for a reason and it was not for them to sit and lay dormant while you lived in your comfort zone.

If you have the thought of a dream or goal, start now, fail now, do now and live your life living the life of your dreams. Yes, you will make some mistakes, but you will also have some amazing wins.

I would love to hear from you. Let me know what you plan on doing to get out of your comfort zone and relentlessly go after your dreams and goals. Leave your thoughts below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Denise Damijo

Hi, I'm Denise Damijo, I'm a Business and Lifestyle Strategist and a #1 Bestselling author of "When You're Done Expecting." I love helping other entrepreneur's get laser-focused on plugging the holes in their business so that they can improve their lives. You can find me writing for cool publications like this one, Huffington Post, Thrive Global, and She Owns It. I also love cooking up a good business plan and spending quality time with my family. Connect with me on my Podcast, Mind Money Mogul or on Facebook.

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Published

2 weeks ago

Jan 25, 2023

Joel Brown (Founder of Addicted2Success.com)

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

1. Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.

Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.

Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.

Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.

These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.

This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.

It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.

These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.

If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.