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5 Damaging Lies Comfortability Tells You Every Single Day

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It is amazing what comfortability will tell you just so that you can stay small and never have the audacity to dream big. Looking back over the years, it is apparent that comfortability has stolen, killed, and destroyed a lot of dreams; whispering it’s sweet nothings into the ears of what was once eager and ambitious people.

Comfortability is the silent investor that is not going to tell you how you are messing up, all it is going to do is give you it’s goods in promises for the return of all of your dreams becoming your distant memory.

Just in case you didn’t know, comfortability is not your friend, was never your friend, and will never be your friend. You see, friends don’t lie and deceive you into believing that what you are doing is healthy for you. Friends push you towards your dreams and not snatch them right from underneath you.

Just in case comfortability has been lying to you, here are five lies that it has told you:

1. You Will Never Be Enough

Have you ever heard that before? As long as you think that you will never be enough, you will never strive for better and greater things. You will always stay small flying underneath the radar just so that you won’t have to come face to face with the ‘not enough’ version of yourself. Before you know it, your life has passed you by and you will then realize that it wasn’t that you were never enough, it was that you never did enough.

“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.” – Maya Angelou

2. Successful People Are Comfortable

In some aspects of that, it’s true. Successful people are comfortable. I’m not ever going to lie to you and tell you being successful doesn’t solve a lot of problems. The thing is that just like anything in life, if you don’t upkeep it, it will lose its value. In order to be successful and stay successful, you have to constantly stretch yourself. Growing pains are exactly that. They are not always meant to feel good while the growth is happening but the results are well rewarded.

3. There Is Too Much To Lose Taking Risks

It’s easy to think that you would fail if you were to take risks and do something that was out of your comfort zone. Yes, there is a possibility that you will fail. Matter-a-fact, you most likely will fail more than you succeed. You will be disappointed several times along the way. You will also be rejected more than approved but when you reach your dreams, goals, and aspirations, all of the failures, disappointments, and rejections will be well worth it.

4. Everyone Is Playing It Safe

Your circle of friends, and support group is crucial during your journey called life. If you believe that everyone is playing it safe, that is because that is what you see and what you have chosen to be around. It is time for you to get some new friends and a better support network. The people who you are around will eventually rub off on you and you will begin to look more like them. If you are always around people who are getting out of their comfort zone and making the very best of their lives, then that is exactly what you will be compelled to do as well.

“He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.” – Muhammad Ali

5. You Have A Lot Of Time Left

This sounds a lot like comfortabilities twin brother procrastination. Procrastination works side by side with comfortability to destroy your dreams. The more that you keep telling yourself that you still have time to start getting out of your comfort zone next week, next month, next year, or next decade; the more that you will see your life pass you by without the fruit of your vision becoming reality. Your dreams are waiting for you right now. They have already came to you for a reason and it was not for them to sit and lay dormant while you lived in your comfort zone.

If you have the thought of a dream or goal, start now, fail now, do now and live your life living the life of your dreams. Yes, you will make some mistakes, but you will also have some amazing wins.

I would love to hear from you. Let me know what you plan on doing to get out of your comfort zone and relentlessly go after your dreams and goals. Leave your thoughts below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Hi, I'm Denise Damijo, I'm a Business and Lifestyle Strategist and a #1 Bestselling author of "When You're Done Expecting." I love helping other entrepreneur's get laser-focused on plugging the holes in their business so that they can improve their lives. You can find me writing for cool publications like this one, Huffington Post, Thrive Global, and She Owns It. I also love cooking up a good business plan and spending quality time with my family. Connect with me on my Podcast, Mind Money Mogul or on Facebook.

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4 Comments

4 Comments

  1. Stefanie

    Feb 23, 2017 at 11:41 am

    Hi Denise, thanks for bringing this up! It’s a great reminder of not getting stuck in comfort. What I did last December was an 8 day trekking in Patagonia. That was definitely a big step outside my comfort zone! But it also worked to slow things down and re-focus.
    Bouldering and climbing are some of my regular activities to face my fears and step up. Still, I notice this comfort zone is huuuuuge! 😀

    • Denise Damijo

      Feb 27, 2017 at 7:04 am

      Hello Stefanie!!! Wow you are really doing some impressive things. I love how you are taming the wild and stretching yourself. I hope you took some awesome pictures for your memories and the stories you will be able to tell. Getting out of your comfort zone is never easy but doesn’t it feel darn good?! Keep on stretching!! Thank you for sharing!

  2. Matthew

    Feb 20, 2017 at 3:16 pm

    At the core of it all, all the truly great things require one to get uncomfortable before they are allowed to attain them … great post!

    • Denise Damijo

      Feb 21, 2017 at 7:26 am

      That is so true Mathew. Anyone who is living in their comfort zone will never live their dreams.

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Life

6 Reasons Why You Should Never Glorify Failure After You’ve Failed

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Many people are ashamed of failure. If they so much as smell a whiff of failure, they quit instantly because the public notices it quickly. But you shouldn’t be ashamed of failure. A lot of people have failed. I’ve failed over and over again in my career, business, relationships and more. Yet, I keep trying because failure isn’t the final verdict. (more…)

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Life

How to Move Forward When All Seems Lost

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A few weeks ago, the relationship of my venture with a long-term client turned rocky. Losing them would mean a huge loss for my business, but it appeared like that’s where we were headed. My mind raced with unpleasant thoughts. Maybe the client had figured out that I couldn’t lead my team well. Maybe I was not good enough to be an entrepreneur. Maybe I was not good enough to do anything.

Why was the world so unfair?! Within moments, my anxiety had shot through the roof and my heart was racing faster than an F1 car engine. But I know I’m not the only one who feels like this.

Why Problems Overwhelm Us

As human beings, we’re good at solving problems, so they shouldn’t stress us out. Yet, they do just that. Why?

Consider some of these situations in life. When a relationship is headed for troubled waters, we wonder whether our partner loves us anymore. Our mind unearths memories of when we got dumped or rejected. We blame ourselves for falling for the wrong people and tell ourselves that we’re not worth receiving love.

How do you think the relationship will steer after that? If we cannot stick to a diet, we think of other times when we gave up. We remember what people said about things that we couldn’t do and ask ourselves, “were they right?” We tell ourselves that we don’t have what it takes to succeed at anything.

Do you think we’ll find the grit to stick to the diet after this? So here we are… thinking we’re not good enough to be entrepreneurs, to be loved, to get promoted, or to achieve our personal goals. Notice a pattern yet? We move in the wrong direction. The destination is to achieve the goal. And unless we stop giving into emotions and start addressing situations, we’ll keep failing to get there.

Negative emotions (and even extremely positive ones) blur our vision. The more we focus on them, the deeper we go into how we feel. We either get angry because things aren’t the way we want them to be, or get paralyzed by the fear of the worst possible outcome. This means we pull away from the one thing we must do to set things right — take action.

“If you can’t sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It’s the worry that gets you, not the loss of sleep.” – Dale Carnegie

How to Take Action in the Face of Problems

Most human beings are good at solving problems. Where we get blindsided is at diagnosing the right problem. To diagnose the right problem, we must address the situation instead of emotions. We must see things for what they are, collect facts on what we’re worrying about, and then ask ourselves, “What should I do next?”

In his book “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”, Dale Carnegie wrote: “Neither you nor I nor Einstein nor the Supreme Court of the United States is brilliant enough to reach an intelligent decision on any problem without first getting the facts.”

To address the tricky situation with my client, I took the following three steps:

1. First, I acknowledged the feeling

Solving a problem doesn’t mean ignoring emotions. It’s important to acknowledge how you feel because it reveals the path, but domesticating your emotions is more important. I acknowledged how I felt by saying, “I feel anxious because the client might not want to work with us anymore and this will be a financial loss for us.”

Note how I said “I feel anxious” and not “I’m a loser.” If I had given into negative chatter, I wouldn’t have uncovered the direction to move in (the part after “because”). This is why domesticating emotions is crucial.

2. Next, I prepared for the worst

We often run from our worst fears rather than facing them despite knowing that the worst outcome rarely comes true. The result is that we stay stuck in fear instead of pushing beyond it. And we never discover what we’re really capable of, which sucks.

In my case, the worst meant losing the client. It would hurt but it was the truth. However, we could get more clients. Plus we already had other clients who helped us pay the bills. In other words, I wouldn’t have to live on the street.

The moment I accepted this, a huge weight got lifted off my chest. This prepared me for the third and final step.

“Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes.” – Zig Ziglar

3. Lastly, I examined the situation

Examining a situation means setting aside your emotional baggage and focusing on facts. When you trust that you’ll be okay, you become better at diagnosing the real problem. Once I felt lighter, I could see things clearly.

I used the 5 Whys Technique (asking “why” five times) to figure out the real reason for the client’s dissatisfaction. Then I collected data on the issue and on what we had previously delivered.

Finally, I reached out to the CEO of the client and held a detailed and constructive discussion based on my findings. Within four days, the CEO and I were back to the way things were before.

The best way to prepare for tomorrow is to give today your best. I’m not sure whether the issue with the client got resolved for good or whether the client won’t pack up and leave one day. However, I am sure that I’m prepared to handle such cases better today than I was yesterday.

Control your emotions instead of letting them run amok. Accept things for what they are instead of what you want them to be. Be realistic instead of delusional. Address the situation instead of succumbing to emotions.

Don’t preempt what lies ten miles ahead and get paralyzed by fear. Address what lies clearly in front of you and keep moving. One day you’ll be surprised about how close to your destination you are.

How do you move forward when all hope seems to be lost? Share your advice below!

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Life

8 Effective Tips to Improve Your Emotional Wellbeing

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You know what they say, “Health Is Wealth”. But, more often than not, we only mean it in the context of physical health. There’s no question that being fit is the world’s greatest treasure. Unfortunately, not a lot of us take time out to look after our emotional health and wellbeing.

Let’s not forget – it’s ‘Mind Over Matter’. So, if you are able to take control of your emotions, thoughts, how you feel through the day and how you respond to myriad situations; there’s nothing quite like it. When you become the master of your emotions; health, prosperity, and basically all good things are bound to follow you.

With that said, here are 8 surefire ways that will improve your emotional wellbeing:

1. Practice Mindfulness

Half the time, we don’t even know what we’re thinking or how we’re feeling. That’s because we let our minds operate on autopilot. It’s time to take control of your mind. Be aware of what and how you feel throughout the day. The upside to this practice is that you can detect negative emotions right on the onset and quickly change them and their corresponding feeling.

Feelings of anger, jealousy, hatred; they are not good for the mind, soul, or the body. Paying close attention to the spectrum of emotions you experience throughout the day, will help you detect the negative ones and kick them away before they fester deep enough to take away your happiness and emotional health.

2. Stay Physically Active

As you engage in physical activities, your brain produces a whole bunch of feel-good hormones such as endorphins and dopamine. These hormones are what causes the ‘elated’ or ‘euphoric’ feeling. Being physically active uplifts your mood and your outlook towards life. It readies you to take the challenges more head-on instead of becoming overwhelmed by the littlest of inconvenience.

You are better able to analyze tough situations and take a more proactive rather than a reactive approach. It’s no question physical health is in direct proportion with emotional health. A healthy mind resides in a healthy body and vice versa.

“Caring for the mind is as important and crucial as caring for the body. In fact, one cannot be healthy without the other.” – Sid Garza-Hillman

3. Get Sufficient Sleep

Ever noticed how you feel depressed and cranky, and just out of focus the day you fail to get a good night’s sleep? Well, if you fail to get sufficient sleep for a couple of days, you are bound to feel more depressed, cranky and eventually more prone to a host of negative emotions. Research shows that sleep deprivation sends amygdala – our brain’s emotional response center into overdrive.

Amygdala controls our immediate emotional responses. When it becomes overactive, we become more reactive rather than active. We become more irritable, angry and anxious. A good night’s sleep is vital to improving your emotional wellbeing.

4. Develop a New Hobby

Learn to swim. Try arts and crafts. How about painting? Swimming is a ‘happy’ activity. You get to make new friends and stay fit. Arts and crafts, as we all know, tends to have a relaxing effect on the mind and the nerves.

Just the process of creating something from scratch makes you confident and gets those creative juices flowing. Similarly, painting helps you express yourself. All these factors together create a ‘happy you’. The one who likes to engage in new things instead of resisting change or difficult situations.

5. Eat Healthy

Ever heard of the phrase, “You are what you eat”? Well, it’s true to the last syllable. When you eat foods rich in salt, sodium, fat – you are bound to feel lethargic. It takes longer for the body to digest such foods. That means the body is forced to deprive organs of blood and use it for the digestion purpose.

Result? You become lazy, moody, not ready to take any responsibility which leads to feeling cranky and irritable. On the other hand, eating fibrous vegetables, fruits, salads, and complex sugars keeps you upbeat and healthy.

6. Laugh Your Heart Out

Laughter is the best medicine. That is why they have a dedicated ‘laughter session’ in yoga studios. You don’t even have to mean it. The simple act of spreading your cheeks and pretending to laugh sends a signal to your body that you are happy.

And what happens when you are happy? Your brain releases happy hormones like dopamine, serotonin and what not. In fact, many studies have gone so far as to stipulate that laughter alone is capable of treating all kinds of physical ailments. Why should emotional ailments be any different?

7. Try Relaxation Techniques

‘’Visualization technique’’ where you imagine yourself in a happy place is a surefire way to calm your nerves if you find yourself distressed. You may also try praying to elate yourself. Praying is good for the mind and the soul.

Controlled breathing or ‘biofeedback technique’ are some other relaxation techniques that can tame how you feel and even your bodily functions. Try surrounding yourself with aromatherapy or scented candles because the smell is a big factor in governing how we feel.

“Positive emotional energy is the key to health, happiness and wellbeing. The more positive you are, the better your life will be in every area.” – Brian Tracy

8. Count Your Blessings

We all have so much to be thankful for. It could be a friend who stands by you or a happy family. Good health. Financial freedom. Make a list of all the things that you feel grateful for in your life. If it’s a person, be sure to communicate your feelings and express your gratitude.

You will feel so much happier. Happiness is the diet of a healthy mind and an intelligent emotional response mechanism. You could also try writing a poem or simply expressing your gratitude through the power of prayers.

There are so many ways to become emotionally intelligent and not one of them requires any investment or special skills. Practically anyone and everyone can do it. All you need is the will and the desire.

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How You Can Use the Power of Gratitude to Your Advantage

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The word gratitude has been tossed around, but do you know exactly what it means or how to implement it into your life? Someone has probably told you in your life, “Express more gratitude.” Well, that sounds like a great idea, but if you don’t know what gratitude is, how can you fully express it in your life? It’s a concept that once you grasp, it will change your life. (more…)

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