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3 Things That Will Help Propel Yourself Forward Every Single Time

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Forward, Always

When you grew up, did someone laugh at your dreams? Did they mock you for wanting something greater than yourself? Perhaps they said “That is impossible! You do not have enough money!” Or “you are too young and are dreaming to much!” Or perhaps you did not tell people your greatest dreams because you were scared they were going to laugh at you since you knew that what you wanted was going to take work and an optimistic mindset, not necessarily a realistic one.

Speaking to kids at high schools, I began realizing how many of them were either scared to tell me their dreams for fear of ridicule or were not dreaming big enough. Recently however, one kid explained his dream to me with hesitancy and nervousness radiating from his body language. He told me he was probably going to give up because his dream would require a lot of time, multiple failures, and money before he succeeded.

Nonetheless, he had already put in five years towards building it. Him and I spoke and I said nothing special, but continuously encouraged him. Afterwards, he looked at me and said, “I want to thank you because I do not get much respect or encouragement from people.” The amount of sadness that overcame me at this moment was unbelievable because I began seeing how from an early age, the majority of people have become jaded to what society thinks they can and cannot do.

“Success is the result of perfection, hard work, learning from failure, loyalty, and persistence.” – Colin Powell

Just like this teen, I have big dreams and many people including the people closest to me tell me that I cannot do it, it is not possible, that I am dreaming too much, and that I should get a real job.

When I get down on myself and start second guessing the path I have chosen for my life I think of these three things to continuously propel myself forward:

1. Use the negativity in your life as fuel

If you do not have haters, you are not living to your fullest potential. We need to use all the negativity we get in our lives and put it to good use. It should not be used to prove people wrong, but to prove to ourselves that we can do anything we desire! I have met countless people who are in their twenties or even past fifty that have settled for a second class life because they chose to give up on their original dreams.

Once I investigate more into why most gave up, it became apparent they let the negativity from people and society get to them. Encourage yourself and others to always go for what they truly want.

2. Push forward

As a future physician, it is challenging when I sit down and think of all the years I have left in school. When my mind wanders off into this though I think of what my mentor told me “When you look at all you have done to get to a certain point in your life and not focus on how much you still have left, you begin realizing how far you have truly come!”

Many of us can have feelings of doubt or discouragement but we must always remember to push forward because we have not accomplished all we have done for nothing.

“Energy and persistence conquer all things.” – Benjamin Franklin

3. Put in the time and the rewards will be plentiful

When I tell people I will be a physician, they tend to reply “Wow, you’re going to be old by the time you’re done.” This use to bother me but now I think how many people in life chose a different path because the one they wanted would require more sacrifice and more time.

Perhaps they wanted to make money right away and not wait ten years to follow their dream and make money. Personally, I can either be forty and a physician or be forty and do something else that will bring me monetary rewards faster results in short-term satisfaction.

I want be able to look at myself when I am older and say proudly that I worked diligently through many years to be the best husband, friend, brother, and doctor.

When I see adults try and get their kids to walk, they encourage them regardless of how many times it takes. The adults do not give up on them, but instead continuously find ways to get their children to learn the fundamentals of walking. Why do we not apply this type of mindset when people tell us their aspirations regardless of how many times they may fail before they succeed.

If we encourage everyone we meet from an early age that they can become a business person, astronaut, firefighter, artist, or writer, then imagine what that would do to people’s mindset. It is a powerful thing what believing in someone can do to that person’s desire to win. We can all play a part in not only our own success but also others by simply using the power of belief in knowing we are worth it and can dream big!

How do you propel yourself forward when you’re feeling down and out? Leave your thoughts below!

Armando Quintana III strives to make every day a novel one by treating his life as one big experiment. He's a published writer, signed model, created an educational non-profit, and worked with multiple start-ups helping them excel in sales and marketing. He can be reached @armandoq3 on Instagram or Facebook.

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The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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