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Why Self-esteem Is Different From Confidence and How to Build Both Effectively

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As humans, we sort of depend on certain qualities and traits. For example, self-esteem and self-confidence (or confidence) are two fundamental personality traits that we need in our lives. Quickly before you think about each of the terms, let’s define what each of them means.

Self-esteem: How you feel about yourself and about what you do. It’s your sense of self-worth, in a world full of other individuals just like you. When you have self-esteem you believe that you deserve to be happy, and you believe that you deserve the respect of others.

Self-confidence: The self-assurance in one’s personal strengths, judgments, and decisions. When you believe that you can achieve something, you’re basically confident that you’re going to make it. It’s just like a feeling of trust in your own abilities.

The connection between these two personality traits is quite significant. Even though it’s normal for high self-esteem individuals to also be self-confident, the two qualities can also thrive separately. For example, I know someone who’s extremely talented at painting and firmly believes in his ability to create art.

Even though he’s extremely talented and he knows it, he refuses to share his art with other people. He has big self-esteem issues and believes that his work will be negatively judged.

Why do we need to develop both our self-esteem and confidence?

The previous example were meant to highlight the fact that the lack of self-esteem could generate many disempowering effects. Loss of talent is one of them.

Let’s make it clear, self-discipline and self-esteem are qualities that can be developed. It’s not like you get born and die with them. If you want to change, you can have the change. I very often suggest people around me to take full responsibility for their lives.

I’d like to do the same. In case you’re already aware of your issues, taking responsibility and committing to change is the best thing that’s going to make you a better person. Fulfillment and happiness can never be achieved unless one truly believes that he has the ability to earn them, and also that he deserves them.

Here are 5 effective ways to improve both your self-confidence and self-esteem at the same time:

1. Start Taking Consistent Action

Taking action with purpose is the best way to set yourself on the right path. Here’s how to proceed:

  1. Set three long-term goals – brainstorm more and choose the most important three
  2. Split them into small and more manageable goals – it could be monthly/weekly
  3. Focus on each independently and make small steps towards results
  4. BE CONSISTENT and never give up

Taking consistent action will give you momentum to keep going. Whatever you want to achieve (emotional freedom, a better job, better relationships), start doing it now. There’s no better advice than this, even though you have probably heard it before.

“Consistent actions creates consistent results.” – Christine Kane

2. Analyze Your Self-Talk

If you want to change the way you feel, you must listen to your other voice. I bet that you’re always allowing your other voice to take over your mind. You even listen to it frequently, and it often gets you in trouble.

Fear of failure and the lack of self-esteem creates negative self-talk. This affects you on all levels, as most of our self-talk is negative. Start making a distinction between the two voices and stop allowing the big mouthed monster in your brain take the control again.

3. Contribute to The Well-Being of Others

When you’re good to others, you get a feeling that you were sent on earth with a purpose. That sense of purpose is extremely healing for people with low self-esteem. When another human being honest thanked you for your kind deeds, your heart gets filled with joy. If you do more good to the world, that feeling will persist and will eventually become a part of you. Sooner than you expect, your self-esteem levels will skyrocket.

4. Respect and Reward Yourself Every Now and Then

Every one of us has good days and bad days. Every person has problems and sorrows. We’re not perfect, and we’ll never be. It’s important to remember the fact that sometimes we go through good times, sometimes we go through bad times. When the bad times arrive, be prepared.

Respecting your boundaries, your actions, yourself, and your time is essential to your well-being and fulfillment. Besides that, you should also consciously reward yourself from time to time. Go out, do something you enjoy, buy something that you’ve always wanted. The feeling of reward is often helpful for cultivating better self-confidence and self-esteem.

“Self-respect knows no considerations.” – Mahatma Gandhi

5Truly Commit to Change

Again, I’m not going to surprise you with some unusual and ineffective strategy. Instead, I’m going to tell you the truth again. If you’re not committed to progress and change, it’s never going to happen. You’ll be stuck in your state up until you personally decide that you’ve had enough.

This is what it means to take responsibility for your life. No one is supposed to spend their life in fear, disappointment, and unhappiness. These personality traits should always be advantageous instead of the opposite.

Life is much more beautiful if you live it with full confidence and self-esteem. Who says you can’t be happy? Who says you can’t do what you want to do? Everything you think, or more specifically what other people think…it’s all subjective. You can always change the way you perceive the world. You can find new meanings and purposes, and you can live your life intensively and happily.

In your opinion, what is the difference between self-esteem and self-confidence? Leave your thoughts below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Knowing Your Message vs Delivering Your Message

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Have you ever sent a text message only to have it misinterpreted by the person reading it? Happens all the time. Have you ever given a presentation that you were totally prepared for only to have it fall flat? Happens all the time. Have you ever had someone ask you something like, “Why are you mad?” when you were not at all mad? Happens all the time. (more…)

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The 3 Most Important Things I Learned About Personal Growth

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When you look back on your life, what do you want to think about? Do you plan to reminisce on all of the good things that have happened and how they shaped who you are today? Or would you rather remember all of the bad decisions, challenging experiences, and mistakes made that hurt or wasted a portion of your life?

In my opinion, I think it is important to reflect on both. While it’s important to remember the hardships we’ve been through in our lives – without them we wouldn’t be where we are now. There are 3 very specific areas that I feel have helped me grow in a personal sense more than anything else in my life so far. 

These aren’t simple lessons in a book or a lecture that you can just absorb and apply to your life. These are things that I’ve learned through experience and reflection, and I’m still learning and growing today.

1. We determine how much we’re worth by what we think about ourselves, others, and life in general.

This might seem like a pretty obvious lesson in life but it’s actually one of the most important because we can determine our own worth by how we think about ourselves and the world around us. If you’re looking for success in any kind of business or social setting (dating), then I’ll tell you right now that it doesn’t matter if you have 10 billion dollars or not – people are still going to judge you based on your thoughts and beliefs alone.

What determines our value isn’t necessarily what we do with our lives (which is often based on luck) but whether or not we believe that ‘our work’ is worthy or not in some sort of grand scheme or universe. We may not always be able to control what happens in our lives, but we can always control how we value ourselves and others.

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” – Maya Angelou

2. You don’t have to change your habits or personality just because someone else doesn’t like it – their opinions are THEIRS alone.

This is another one of those lessons that people tend to pick up on a little bit late in life, but if anything that makes its importance even worse! Basically, there’s going to come a time when you’re going to meet someone who has certain expectations of you as a person…but these expectations might not be realistic due to their motivations and personal beliefs. For example, sometimes parents might expect you to be a lawyer or doctor because that’s what they believe is best for their child.

However, this isn’t the case for everyone and so maybe your passion lies in music or writing novels. In this example, if you were also pressured into becoming a doctor – then there would obviously be some kind of conflict going on within yourself as a person. You should never have to give up something that you want to do just because someone else doesn’t like it! The reason why we’re put onto this Earth is to make our own choices and go after our OWN dreams instead of letting others determine what we can and cannot do with our lives .

3. You can’t change your life until you accept that you need to make a change.

When I was younger, I thought that this lesson would be pretty obvious – but as I got older, it really made me appreciate the fact that there are always different ways of perceiving our lives. For example, if someone wants to become rich and famous one day – their mind might simply overshadow any other possibility in their head because they feel like this is what they NEED to do right now.

However, this isn’t always true within our own lives because we think about things too literally instead of having an open mind. If you want to achieve success in any kind of business or social setting (dating) then you should be willing to try out different things instead of staying in your comfort zone. If you want something, then it’s up to YOU to actually go after it – nobody else is going to give it to you!

The three lessons above are some of the main things I want to pass on to everyone because they’ve come at an important time in my life where I need to start thinking about others instead of only myself. It’s great if we can learn to love ourselves first before anything else, but that doesn’t mean you should neglect everyone around you even though they might be your friends and family members!

If you enjoyed this article on the 3 most important things I learned about personal growth, then please share it with your friends and family! Also, check out my other articles on success & motivation as well as life lessons that could help people who are struggling with their life right now on lifengoal.com. Thanks for reading!

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​​4 Boss Level Growth Strategies That Create an Optimized Life

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Building a business is about more than sales, marketing, and flexing on social media. While those things tend to draw attention, they attract the wrong type of clients and are not how you build a sustainable and freedom-focused business. (more…)

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Practicing Self-Devotion: 3 Ways Towards a More Mindful and Compassionate You

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I can still hear the voices of my older relatives and my elementary school teachers telling me “be disciplined”, “keep at it”, to give time and energy towards what we want. As a young, impressionable child, I believed all those things because well, they made sense. They worked. And honestly, I felt like it’s the only way to flourish. (more…)

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