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Success Advice

6 Ways Your Brain Attempts To Sabotage Your Goals & Dreams

Joel Brown (Founder of Addicted2Success.com)

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Now we know that you should never make excuses for not sticking to your goals, and we understand that from time to time you will have your valid reasons, but what if it is not really you to blame for your failures and that your brain is actually out to sabotage your hopeful plans?

Well this article here explains the 6 ways that your brain plays tricks on you to sabotage your goals and dreams.

 

1.) Your brain can hurt your goals by fantasizing too much

Would you believe that fantasizing is the #1 way your brain can unintentionally ruin your goals?

It seems unlikely, right?

The thing is, the proof is in the pudding (or in this case, the research): psychologists have found that while positive thinking about the future is broadly beneficial, too much fantasy can have disastrous results on achieving goals.

Researchers tracked the progress of how people cope with four different types of challenges.

As an example, in one of those challenges (trying to find a fulfilling job), those who had spent the most time fantasizing performed the worst in a variety of critical data points:

  • they had applied for fewer jobs
  • they had been offered fewer jobs
  • if they were able to find work, they had lower salaries.

Why?

Why could fantasizing about a positive end take a turn for the worse?

Jeremy Dean, a psychological researcher at UCL London and the owner of PsyBlog had this to say about the researcher’s conclusions:

The problem with positive fantasies is that they allow us to anticipate success in the here and now. However, they don’t alert us to the problems we are likely to face along the way and can leave us with less motivation—after all, it feels like we’ve already reached our goal.

It’s one way in which our minds own brilliance lets us down. Because it’s so amazing at simulating our achievement of future events, it can actually undermine our attempts to achieve those goals in reality.

Our poor brain is thus a victim of itself.

Again, this is not to say that visualizing goals is necessarily a haphazard strategy for achieving them, it’s just that we need to be aware of the dangers of excessive fantasy.

Instead of being entranced with what the future may bring, we need to learn to love the work here and now.

Enjoying our day by day progress and realistic ‘checkpoints’ is a much more practical way to create our future; getting lost in grandiose dreams that focus on the ultimate end is not.

As they say, don’t give up on your dreams, but don’t fall under their spell either.

 

2.) Your brain procrastinates on big projects by visualizing the worst parts

Procrastination, of all of the things on this list, is likely the most recognizable: everybody realizes that they procrastinate from time to time, and it’s something we are forced to battle with every day.

How can we fight this persistent opponent?

Interesting research from Russian psychologist Bluma Zeigarnik (of whom the Zeigarnik Effect is named after) reveals to us an interesting tidbit about the human mind: we are better at remember things that are partially done.

Ms. Zeigarnik came to this conclusion by testing the memory of folks doing simple “brain” tasks like puzzles or crafts.

She then interrupted them and asked them to recall (with specific detail) the tasks that they were doing or had completed.

She found that people were twice as likely to recall more detail about the tasks they had been interrupted in than in the tasks they had completed.

What does this have to do with procrastination?

Before we get to that, know this: in a study by Kenneth McGraw, participants were given a very tricky puzzle to solve with an “unlimited” amount of time.

The thing is, all of the participants were interrupted before they could finish, and then told that the study was over.

Guess what happened next…

Despite being told they were done, nearly 90% of participants continued working on the puzzle anyway.

What both of these studies teach us is that when people finally manage to start something, they are much more inclined to remember the task and finish it.

The Zeigarnik Effect and the subsequent McGraw study assure us that the best way to beat procrastination is to start somewhere… anywhere.

Our brain has the habit of envisioning the impending huge workload of an upcoming task.

It also tends to focus on the most difficult parts or sections, and this is where procrastination begins to set in: as we try to avoid the “hard work”, we find ways to skate around it and trick ourselves into thinking that we’re busy.

Just starting though, triggers our brain in a different way.

It’s the same way that cliffhangers are utilized to keep us coming back to our favorite TV shows; we’re primed to remember the last episode because the story was interrupted, and our brain wants a conclusion.

It’s the same with your tasks: start, and your brain will overcome the first hurdle.

This seemingly small milestone appears to be the most important one to overcome if you wish to defeat procrastination.

After starting a task, your brain will be more enticed to finish it to it’s “conclusion.”

You also tend to see that it’s not as big a mountain as you initially imagined, and that the work involved in completing this task won’t be so terrifying after all.

 

3.) Your brain will “abandon ship” at the first sign of distress

Anyone who’s fought the good fight with dieting will likely recognize this phenomenon.

Envision this:

You’re on a diet, and have been doing well for about 2 1/2 weeks, but you know your defenses are at risk.

To make matters work, you’re having dinner with friends tonight.

Instead of the healthy meal you could have made at home, you’re forced to use a restaurant menu.

The problem is this: At the bar before dinner, you had a little “cheat” moment by ordering snacks and drinks, after all, you’re with your pals tonight, right?

You know that those drinks and snacks, combined with the bread you had before dinner, leave you with one option to stay a bit over your caloric intake goals: you must eat a salad.

The thing is, your brain is yelling out “BURGER!”.

Instead of finishing the day a tad over your 2000 calorie goal, you order the burger with fries and don’t look back.

The crazy thing about this scenario?

It’s much more than a momentary act of weakness: psychologists have observed that this is much more likely to happen as a result of you missing a previously set goal.

Specifically, in research by Janet Polivy and her colleagues, people who were actually on diets were tested with pizza and cookies.

In the study, two groups of participants (those on diets and those not dieting) were told not to eat beforehand and then served exactly the same slice of pizza when they arrived to the lab.

Afterwards, they were then asked to taste and rate some cookies (I’m getting hungry already : )).

The thing was, the experimenters didn’t really care about the cookie’s rating, they just wanted to see how many people ate.

This is because they tricked some of the participants into thinking that they had received a larger slice than the others (using framing and false information). This was to make them believe that they had most certainly “ruined” their diet goals for the day.

The result?

When the cookies were weighed, it turned out that those who were on a diet and thought they’d blown their limit ate more of the cookies than those who weren’t on a diet.

This doesn’t paint the true picture though: they ate over 50% more!

On the flip side, the dieters that did think that they were in their caloric limit ate the same amount of cookies as those who weren’t on a diet at all.

Truly, our brain is geared towards a call of “Abandon ship!”, whenever we come short of our goals.

Don’t let this happen to you!

The best way to combat your brain from signaling ‘Mission Abort!’ after you’ve missed a short-term goal is to re-frame what just happened.

Yes, you did fall short or maybe mess up this time, but remember the progress that you’ve made.

With the diet example, you could look at all of the “good days” you’ve accumulated thus far: even if you fell after only a few days of starting your new diet, it’s still an accomplishment to have started one and to have set long-term goals for yourself.

Short-term lapses in your end-goal is not like a bad apple spoiling the bunch: you have gotten things accomplished so far and you need to stay focused on the long-term, not become distraught by a single mishap.

Research tells us that this is the best mindset to take for misfortune and failure in general: your progress and achievements go so much farther than that slip-up; don’t let your brain convince you that all is lost!

 

4.) Your brain loves mindless busywork disguised as progress

How fitting that this should be posted on a site that relates to social media!

One of the ways in which your brain continues it’s trickery is through busy work: work that gets “something” done, but not something that produces any measurable results.

In fact, research by John Bargh and colleagues reveals that our brain just loves to become robotic and to even mimic people out of habit.

I shouldn’t have to tell you that this is disastrous to achieving long-term goals!

This busy work is often a mechanism our brain uses in cohesion with avoiding big projects (mentioned above): instead of diving into the difficult tasks we KNOW we should get done, we’ll instead float around doing semi-related (read: barely related) menial tasks to make ourselves feelproductive without actually getting anything done.

Here’s the thing: you’re not going to build a thriving business or a successful blog with that kind of busy work.

It takes doing the hard work and it takes deliberate practice, there’s no way around it.

The thing is, your brain knows this, that’s why you have to remind it remind yourself that the challenging stuff is often the stuff that produces the results you desire.

Also remember that you can fight that procrastination by just getting started.

When you look back at what you’ve gotten done by the end of the day, make sure you’re proud of what you got accomplished, don’t let your brain ruin your goals by diverting you from what needs to be done!

 

5.) Your brain gives you a false sense of time.

Your brain says: “Relax, you’ve got plenty of time for this project.”
The reality: You are straight-up terrible at estimating how long it will take you to finish tasks. You’ll almost assuredly underestimate the time you’ll need.

When they started building the Sydney Opera House, the blokes in charge were all like, “No worries, mate. She’ll be done by 1963 and this $7 million budget should cover things nicely. Throw another shrimp on the barbie.” (Note: I am paraphrasing here.) Then they proceeded to tear through the $7 million faster than a kangaroo chasing a boomerang (fun with stereotypes!). The iconic building finally opened in 1973—ten years late and $95 million over budget.

You tend to underestimate how much time projects will take for you to complete. It’s called Planning Fallacy, and it’s why Afternoon-You looks at the to-do list made by Morning-You and says, “Were you under the impression that I am some sort of goddamn superhero or what?”

Psychologists think your overly optimistic planning is caused by a combination of wishful thinking and how you view similar projects you’ve done in the past, which is to say you subconsciously take credit for the progress that was made but blame outside forces for delays. The last article took so long to write because your computer crashed, your neighbor was playing “Rhythm Is A Dancer” on his damned guitar again, and you got stuck in traffic on the way to an interview. Those things weren’t your fault and won’t happen again, you say. But they might. And if they don’t, other time-sucks will show up to take their place.

Solutions:

  • Your brain isn’t as bad at determining how long it will take someone else to complete a task. You’ll overestimate in most cases, but it’s nothing compared to the wildly overoptimistic standards you’ll set for yourself. When you need to determine a time frame for a project, imagine someone else will be completing the task and your guess will be closer to the truth.
  • Planning Fallacy is going to tell you that writing your book will take, oh, maybe two weeks if you stop for meals. As always, it lies. For a goal as complex as that, the only way to get a remotely accurate estimate is to break it into the individual steps it will take to achieve it. Besides, it’s scary as hell to see “write novel” on today’s to-do list, but breaking it down into steps like “research alpaca breeding standards for book” or “write chapter seven” turns it into something that’s finite, specific, and easier to wrap your head around. Make a list. Write down how long each step will take. Add ’em up.
  • Make a note of how long similar tasks have taken, but don’t adjust for distractions or problems caused by outside sources.
  • Identify potential snags. Assume they’ll happen.

 

6.) Your brain is not good at “winging it” when it comes to planning… ever!

Every night before I go to sleep, I like to write a simple “to-do” list that I group into two categories.

I put some in category ‘A’ (must be done tomorrow) and some in category ‘B’ (must be worked on or done in 2-3 days).

I do this because when I sit down at the computer to do work without a plan, I tend to fall flat on my face.

My so-called “work time” turns into the not-so-productive “check email time” or “browse Reddit” time; nothing of any importance gets done.

It seems that I’m not alone!

In research by Gollwitzer and colleagues, the subject of “if-then” plans was discussed in relation to how we set and stay consistent with out goals, and the results are not surprising but reveal a lot of insight into how our brain reacts to planning (and even some great tips).

The thing is, researchers found that not only do well laid plans seem to get accomplished more often, but planning for failures along the way (“In case of emergency…”) helps people stay on task under duress.

Let’s continue our diet example from above.

Say you did have that lapse and go over your calories for the day.

Instead of “winging it” and letting your brain crumble to it’s likely response (discussed above), you should have a backup plan ready to know what to do when failure strikes.

This could be something like: “If I go over 2000 calories in a day, I’ll finish the day as close to 2000 as I can, and then the next morning, I’ll go for a 15 minute run as a ‘penance’, make sure I eat an extra healthy breakfast, and then continue the rest of my day as normal.”

You are likely no stranger to feeling ashamed about getting off track, we’ve all been there.

Having those “In case of emergency…” plans help us to have a game plan in case we do falter, and including a small ‘penance’ like I discussed above can help us get over it quicker.

If you failed on your diet for a day and then ‘punish’ (again, just with a quick run) yourself by running in the morning, you can go about your day knowing that you got what you deserved, instead of sliding down the slippery slope of guilt through the rest of the day.

So remember to include an “If-Then” plan for your next big goal, you’ll be able to beat back your brain’s guilt over slipping up now and then and you won’t have to ever “wing it” in case something goes wrong!

 

And here is a bonus little meme from the good fellas over at Runt Of The Web that I am sure we can all relate to:

annoying songs brain

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is an article by Gregory Ciotti, founder of Sparring Mind.

I am the the Founder of Addicted2Success.com and I am so grateful you're here to be part of this awesome community. I love connecting with people who have a passion for Entrepreneurship, Self Development & Achieving Success. I started this website with the intention of educating and inspiring likeminded people to always strive for success no matter what their circumstances. I'm proud to say through my podcast and through this website we have impacted over 100 million lives in the last 6 and a half years.

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31 Comments

31 Comments

  1. Wojciech Krotoszyński

    Mar 24, 2014 at 10:00 pm

    This is absolutely : “…a how to overcome my personal work problems guide.” -> Though I wouldn’t have read it if it wasn’t for procrastinating another task I have to do.. :p

  2. andrea

    Nov 4, 2013 at 12:18 am

    This article is just brilliant! Keep up the good work!

  3. Chris

    Oct 27, 2013 at 10:37 pm

    so the question then is how can we retrain our brains to work for us instead of against us?

  4. Brain Hater

    Oct 27, 2013 at 6:38 pm

    That’s the reason I bang my head against the wall to discipline it. Now I’m going to bang it more

  5. Suriya Choudhary (@Supriyakc85)

    Jun 4, 2013 at 5:17 am

    Really, really nice article that explains us how our brains play fools with us! I have jotted these down to be constantly ‘aware’ that these don’t come in my way of success.

  6. Erica Roberts

    May 21, 2013 at 5:26 pm

    Actually, I always OVERESTIMATE how long I will take to finish a project and end up finishing ahead of time. When I was much younger I underestimated it.. but then I learned..

  7. Jon @ MoneySmartGuides

    Jan 6, 2013 at 2:48 am

    These are some great tips. I always make sure I have a plan. When I lay down in bed at night, I’ll do a quick run through of the things I want to do tomorrow. It helps me to be more productive.

  8. Dianne McLaren

    Dec 30, 2012 at 9:14 pm

    Great tips …. Very interesting I will definitely share.

  9. Tim

    Nov 22, 2012 at 11:39 pm

    All of it true. I can relate to the entire list and have experienced all of them in my business. The hard part is retraining your brain to work in the opposite.

  10. Tammy

    Nov 19, 2012 at 2:01 am

    This is great! I just had to share it!

  11. Mary Gudzenovs

    Nov 15, 2012 at 1:09 am

    Brilliant. thanks. Will share this a link to this on my blog. And start practicing these tips!

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Success Advice

7 Steps to Building Real Relationships With Influencers

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building relationships with influencers

They say your net worth is equivalent to the five closest people in your network. This is also true for your level of influence, where your “net influence” is equivalent to the five closest people in your network. So how do you build a network of influential people and start becoming an influencer yourself?

Here are seven steps you need to follow to create real lasting relationships with influential people who will help you increase your net-influence:

Step 1: Know Yourself

Before you can build a relationship, you need to know who you are and the message you want to put out in the world. The worst thing you can do is to start trying to building relationships without any understanding of how that relationship is in line with your interests, goals and objectives.

Step 2: Know them

In order to connect and build a relationship with anyone, you need to understand who they are. This means going beyond the most common information people know about them and digging deeper into their posts, their conversations, their interviews and identifying what they’re really about.

What are some of their un-commonly known interests? What are some topics they consistently talk about that are important to them? What are some of the challenges they’re facing? The more you know about them, the better you can connect and add value to their lives.

“The key to successful leadership today is influence, not authority.” – Ken Blanchard

Step 3: Show Up

Influencers are often omni-present, meaning that they’re seen and heard on several different channels and venues at the same time. So the more you can show up and add value, the more likely you are to be on their radar. Do some research on the type of content their posting on different social networks, find out which conferences they’re speaking at, listen to interviews and podcasts where they’re being featured on and just show up to support them in whatever they’re doing. Don’t worry, you won’t be considered a stalker if you do this. You’ll be seen as an advocate for their brand and message.

Step 4: Add “Remarkable” Value

Something you hear when discussing building relationships with influencers is the need to “add value”. But an important point that is often missed is that the value you put needs to be “remarkable”. Sometimes it can be as simple as posting engaging comments or questions on one of their social media posts, or as intricate as sending them a care package with something you heard they needed. If you’ve done your homework from Step 2 and know who they are and what makes them tick, then adding value shouldn’t be too difficult.

Step 5: Be human

There is something to be said about people who can act “human” on social media. It’s as if people lose their humanity and become these self-serving, egotistical, monsters who are “too cool for school” putting up a façade of the image they want to give instead of who they actually are. Real relationships come from being authentic, bringing your guard down, letting people in and showing both strengths and weaknesses.

“Relationships are leverage. If you give value to someone else first, you have leverage.” – Gary Vaynerchuk

Step 6: Be consistent

Building real relationships takes time. That’s why it’s important not to get discouraged and to remember that influencers have many people asking for their attention. So if building a relationship with them is important to you then you will need to be consistent and put in the time.

Step 7: Find opportunities to collaborate

Once you’ve had a few meaningful interactions with the influencer you’re trying to build a relationship with, now is the time to reach out with a collaboration offer. Remember this is not about you, it’s about them. So you need to focus your offer on helping them. This is your opportunity to take Step 4 to the next level and become someone remarkable in their lives.  

Follow these steps and you’ll start building real relationships with people who will help you increase your “net influence”.

Which step do you think is the most important? Let us know in the comments.

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Success Advice

5 Simple Things We Can All Do to Ensure We Become a Success Story

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success story

There’s something about reading other people’s success stories that warms my heart. It makes me reflect on my life while inspiring me to believe in the possibility of my own dreams, and pursue them with gusto. Some stories make me cry because of the tales of adversity that inspired them. Others, however, amaze me because of some the ingenious and unconventional inspirations behind them. Whatever their nature, most success stories appear to share some common denominators.

The success stories I love the most are those of people I know personally and have witnessed transpire right before my eyes, because they are more relatable and reinforce my belief that success is truly possible for anyone. It isn’t necessarily influenced by our connections or backgrounds and can be achieved at any stage in one’s life – success doesn’t discriminate.

As much as we enjoy hearing other people’s success stories and celebrating those of our loved ones; there comes a point in our lives when we all aspire for the same – when we want to inspire others through our own success stories.

The following are things we can all do to ensure that we become a success story someday:

1. Adopt a mindset of success by letting go of your limiting beliefs

Belief is integral in developing a successful mindset and making anything happen. In order for us to adopt a mindset of success, we must first believe that success is possible for us and that we have what it takes to accomplish whatever it is we desire. We have to let go of any limiting beliefs we possess that make us feel unworthy of or incapable of achieving our goals or dreams. Self-imposed limitations or what others have made us believe about ourselves will tear us apart.

Anyone who has ever accomplished anything great would be wise in telling you they were able to do so because they believed they could. If we want to become a success story, we have to first see and speak of ourselves as capable of and believe that we have the power within ourselves to do anything we set our minds to.

2. Be passionate about what you do

If you want to experience success in your pursuits and someday inspire others through your own success story; you have to be passionate about what you do. Our passions are things we are naturally good at, connect with, enjoy doing and from which we derive fulfillment and purpose. Although we can experience success in different arenas of life, the endeavors which give our life meaning are those that we have a deep connection with and feel passionate about.

Some of the best success stories are often those about people who chose to pursue their passions not because money was their main motivation, but rather because they love what they do and wanted to make a difference in the world by sharing their gifts with others. Often times, people who pursue things they naturally love to do are able to attract both money and success, because it is easier to fully immerse oneself and flourish in things one enjoys.

“You have to be burning with an idea, or a problem, or a wrong that you want to right. If you’re not passionate enough from the start, you’ll never stick it out.” – Steve Jobs

3. Have a strong ‘Why’

If you read most success stories, you will discover they were inspired by a strong and solid reason. Knowing why you want to accomplish something, what accomplishing it will mean to you, and what kind of impact it will have on your life or that of others’ will play a great role in determining your success or failure. Our desires inspire us, motivate us to take action and keep us from giving up when we want to throw in the towel.

If you want to become a success story, you need to determine your motive for doing whatever you want to do and determine whether it is valid and strong enough. If this is not done, you may not have enough fuel for the long haul and sustain your commitment to your endeavors.

4. Embrace consistency – Be prepared to show up every day

Overnight success is nonexistent. If we want to become success stories, we will have to consistently cultivate our goals and dreams by putting in the time and effort needed to make them reality. Anything worth achieving and sustaining in life requires both constant and consistent effort and attention.

According to Aristotle, consistency is the key to success, and excellence isn’t an act but rather a habit; we are what we repeatedly do. Success is the sum of all the small efforts we consistently repeat day in and day out that are vital to maintaining it. Consistency allows us to form habits, measure our progress, develop routines and creates accountability that ensures follow through on our goals and dreams. Anyone who has ever experienced success in their pursuits was able to do so because they were willing to show up every day and consistently do the things that needed to be done to ensure the manifestation of their desired outcome.

5. Develop a resilient spirit

The journey towards success is wrought with challenges, obstacles, and is often much bumpier than it is smooth – those that win the race are those that manage to find their way to the finish line. Most success stories contain elements of overcoming adversities and setbacks; some of our most valued dreams will require our blood, sweat and tears to accomplish.

If you wish to share your success story someday, you have to be prepared to develop thick-skin and learn how to appropriately deal with and overcome defeat. You have to learn how to rise up after each stumble and live to fight another day until you achieve victory.

“I think there are things that we can all do to build resilience in ourselves, but also to build resilience in each other.” – Sheryl Sandberg

As you can see based on the above, success isn’t elusive or even exclusive – it is possible for every one of us as long as we are willing to do our part in ensuring the fruition of our desires. Determine why you want what you want, believe that its manifestation is possible for you, consistently take action towards your goals and dreams, be passionate about your endeavors and maintain a resilient spirit when you encounter challenges and obstacles. Trust in the process and in no time, you too will be your own success story.

What are you doing today to ensure success in the future? Let us know your story below!

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Success Advice

Tony Robbins Top 10 MUST Read Books to Expand Your Mind

Joel Brown (Founder of Addicted2Success.com)

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tony robbins must read books

Tony Robbins is arguably one of the top Speakers and Life Strategists of this decade and has worked with some of the world’s top leaders and high level entrepreneurs to optimize their life and business performance. Tony spends a lot of time in between his sold out events and Fortune 500 meetings reading the best content he can get his hands on to feed his mind with the most profound knowledge and strategies so he can become a person of value.

Tony Robbins often says that reading a book is like compiling decades into days. Why not extract the lessons and experiences of others and dump them into your mind from the great reads that are available out there for you.

Here are 10 books that Tony Robbins recommends! Watch the video below:


Tribe of Mentors by Tim Ferriss


Four-time #1 best-selling author Tim Ferriss tracks down more than 100 eclectic experts to help him, and you, navigate life. Through short, action-packed profiles, he shares their secrets for success, happiness, meaning, and more. No matter the challenge or opportunity, something in these pages can help.

 

Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl’s memoir has riveted generations of readers with its descriptions of life in Nazi death camps and its lessons for spiritual survival.

At the time of Frankl’s death in 1997, Man’s Search for Meaning had sold more than 10 million copies in twenty-four languages. A 1991 reader survey for the Library of Congress that asked readers to name a “book that made a difference in your life” found Man’s Search for Meaning among the ten most influential books in America.

 

Principles by Ray Dalio

Ray Dalio, one of the world’s most successful investors and entrepreneurs, shares the unconventional principles that he’s developed, refined, and used over the past forty years to create unique results in both life and business—and which any person or organization can adopt to help achieve their goals.

 

Living Forward by Michael Hyatt & Daniel Harkavy

New York Times bestselling author Michael Hyatt and executive coach Daniel Harkavy show us how to design a life with the end in mind, determining in advance the outcomes we desire and path to get there. In this step-by-step guide, they share proven principles that help readers create a simple but effective life plan so that they can get from where they are now to where they really want to be–in every area of life.

 

Start with Why by Simon Sinek

START WITH WHY shows that the leaders who’ve had the greatest influence in the world all think, act, and communicate the same way — and it’s the opposite of what everyone else does. Simon Sinek calls this powerful idea The Golden Circle, and it provides a framework upon which organizations can be built, movements can be led, and people can be inspired. And it all starts with WHY.

 

As a Man Thinketh by James Allen

Widely considered the greatest self-help book of all-time, As a Man Thinketh reveals how our thoughts determine our character, circumstances, health, appearance, and achievements. The choice is ours: either master our thoughts to create the life we want, or remain mired in frustration and failure.

 

The TB12 Method by Tom Brady: How to Achieve a Lifetime of Sustained Peak Performance

After using his methods for over a decade, Brady believes that the TB12 approach has made him—and can make any athlete, male or female, in any sport and at any level—achieve their own peak performance. With instructions, drills, photos, in-depth case studies that Brady himself has used, as well as personal anecdotes and experiences from on and off the field, The TB12 Method is the only book an athlete will ever need, a playbook from Brady himself that will change the game.

 

Getting Everything You Can Out of All You’ve Got by Jay Abraham: 21 Ways You Can Out-Think, Out-Perform, and Out-Earn the Competition

A trusted advisor to America’s top corporations and recognized as one of today’s preeminent marketing experts, Jay Abraham has created a program of proven strategies to help you realize undreamed-of success!

This book focuses on helping you spot the hidden assets, overlooked opportunities, and untapped resources around you, and gives you, and gives you fresh eyes with which to see and capitalize on them. You’ll also learn how to adapt and apply these tools to your unique circumstances to maximize your income, influence, power, and success.

 

Emerson: Essays and Lectures

Tony Robbins says he was hugely inspired by Emerson’s essays on the subject when he was beginning his career as a coach. Tony said “Self-reliance is a theme all human beings, especially those living in the Western world, have to fully understand if they’re going to do well in a world that’s changing constantly”.

 

Linchpin by Seth Godin: Are You Indispensable?

Few authors have had the kind of lasting impact and global reach that Seth Godin has had. In a series of now-classic books that have been translated into 36 languages and reached millions of readers around the world, he has taught generations of readers how to make remarkable products and spread powerful ideas. In Linchpin, he turns his attention to the individual, and explains how anyone can make a significant impact within their organization.

 

Here is the podcast interview I did with Tony Robbins. Tony absolutely rocked it and I’m sure you will enjoy this audio.

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How to Cause Positive Change in Your Life and Business

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positive change

Whether change is good or bad, it can be scary, and that’s ok. The thing we need to be able to do is conquer that fear and keeping moving to make positive changes in our lives. To reach massive success, we have to strive for the best we can be in every aspect of our lives, including how we feel about ourselves, and how we treat others. So let’s start each day off right, do good for others, feel good about ourselves, and do our best in what we do.

Do good for others

I firmly believe that everyone should donate what they can to help others in the world. That doesn’t always have to be money, it can be time, clothing, a meal, or even a warm blanket. You will never know how something as small as that can change someone’s life. Whether you believe in karma, luck, or fate, there is an undeniable theme in the world of what goes around comes around.

Have you ever made fun of someone, then instantly tripped, or broke something? How about giving money to someone who needed it, then found more later on? Have you ever just volunteered, and felt good about yourself for being involved? Doing good for your friends, family, or community has so many rewards in itself, it is hard to deny its positive impact in your life.

Now I’m not saying get out there and help people because you’ll get stuff. There is a good chance you won’t actually receive any tangible items just from helping others. However, doing good in your neighborhood, community, or even on a larger scale can help drastically improve self image, the way others look at you, and can even help you meet like-minded people.

Being passionate about helping others isn’t always something everyone is born with but that doesn’t mean you can’t find something you are passionate about and use it to help others.

Staying positive can be hard but it’s what’s required

It can be hard to feel good about your choices, what is going on in your life, or even just yourself daily. Nonetheless, keeping yourself positive can open a world you never thought possible. When you feel low and down, it is incredibly hard to believe you can get anything done, especially the big stuff that your business needs to thrive.

“Dwell on the beauty in life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.” – Marcus Aurelius

How are you going to do great things if you only see the bad in life? Once you start to see all the beauty that the world offers, it will be much easier to dream big, and hope for more. Even if you think that the world is a beautiful place, it can be a struggle thinking that you are good enough. Making sure you are in a good headspace, and are happy with yourself is important to your mental and physical health.

Starting the morning with movement, meditation, affirmations, whatever makes you feel good, can help you believe in yourself a little more each day. Additionally, surrounding yourself with people and things that make you feel good is a great place to start. Don’t let people in your life who cause you to much stress or keep you thinking about all the negative things in your life. Likewise, don’t be that person to others, help lift others up, and it will be easier for others to help lift you up.

Stay educated and keep learning

There is no secret that you need to be good at what you do if you want customers, but how do we get better? Now, this is a heavily guarded secret that i’m going to share with you today. YOU ARE NOT PERFECT AT WHAT YOU DO, AND YOU NEVER WILL BE. Ok maybe not really a secret, but it got your attention right?

So you aren’t the best, and you make mistakes, so what? You can always be better, and you can better yourself through education. You may say, “but Stephen I don’t want to go back to school.” Well luckily I don’t remember saying you should. There are endless resources for you to learn about your field, and the fields surrounding yours. Look for podcasts, lectures, forums, and meetups to be around people who will help you grow.  

Seriously, the possibilities for learning are endless. Each time you listen to someone else’s opinion, you have the chance of hearing a point of view you’ve never heard before, or learning a new technique or new way of approaching something.

Remembering that you can never be to good at what you do is important, even if you are a master at it, you can still learn. If you are at the point in your career where you can’t find any resources to learn, then start teaching. When you teach what you know, it helps create a different understanding of the knowledge. A lot of times, people will ask questions you never thought of or weren’t relevant when you were learning. To be good at what you do, you have to know everything you can about it.

“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” – Benjamin Franklin

If each day we strive for better in every aspect of our lives, we will ultimately find ourselves constantly moving towards massive success. It may be hard each day to continue, and although some days we will do better, it is important to stick to it and always remember tomorrow is a new day.

How are you making sure you are moving your life in the direction you desire? Let us know in the comments below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Life

6 Simple Steps to Setting Goals Without Feeling Overwhelmed

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goal setting

Years ago I found myself caught up in conventional wisdom (or wisdumb as I call it). I was trying to set goals in every area of my life. I had three goals for each of my five key areas: faith, family, friends, finances and fun. I added that last category only because it started with an “F” and my OCD told me five categories was a better number than four. That’s how scientific my goal-setting process was. (more…)

Matthew Wilson is an award-winning creative director, productivity geek, father of five and a partner and creative director at a Phoenix-based advertising agency. He is also a consultant, speaker and creator/founder of 3x5Goals.com, the market’s simplest goal setting system, using daily goal cards to help achievers focus on what's most important. More information can be found at www.3x5goals.com. To order a free 15-day set of cards, visit https://goo.gl/Bw4mre.

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31 Comments

31 Comments

  1. Wojciech Krotoszyński

    Mar 24, 2014 at 10:00 pm

    This is absolutely : “…a how to overcome my personal work problems guide.” -> Though I wouldn’t have read it if it wasn’t for procrastinating another task I have to do.. :p

  2. andrea

    Nov 4, 2013 at 12:18 am

    This article is just brilliant! Keep up the good work!

  3. Chris

    Oct 27, 2013 at 10:37 pm

    so the question then is how can we retrain our brains to work for us instead of against us?

  4. Brain Hater

    Oct 27, 2013 at 6:38 pm

    That’s the reason I bang my head against the wall to discipline it. Now I’m going to bang it more

  5. Suriya Choudhary (@Supriyakc85)

    Jun 4, 2013 at 5:17 am

    Really, really nice article that explains us how our brains play fools with us! I have jotted these down to be constantly ‘aware’ that these don’t come in my way of success.

  6. Erica Roberts

    May 21, 2013 at 5:26 pm

    Actually, I always OVERESTIMATE how long I will take to finish a project and end up finishing ahead of time. When I was much younger I underestimated it.. but then I learned..

  7. Jon @ MoneySmartGuides

    Jan 6, 2013 at 2:48 am

    These are some great tips. I always make sure I have a plan. When I lay down in bed at night, I’ll do a quick run through of the things I want to do tomorrow. It helps me to be more productive.

  8. Dianne McLaren

    Dec 30, 2012 at 9:14 pm

    Great tips …. Very interesting I will definitely share.

  9. Tim

    Nov 22, 2012 at 11:39 pm

    All of it true. I can relate to the entire list and have experienced all of them in my business. The hard part is retraining your brain to work in the opposite.

  10. Tammy

    Nov 19, 2012 at 2:01 am

    This is great! I just had to share it!

  11. Mary Gudzenovs

    Nov 15, 2012 at 1:09 am

    Brilliant. thanks. Will share this a link to this on my blog. And start practicing these tips!

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Success Advice

7 Steps to Building Real Relationships With Influencers

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building relationships with influencers

They say your net worth is equivalent to the five closest people in your network. This is also true for your level of influence, where your “net influence” is equivalent to the five closest people in your network. So how do you build a network of influential people and start becoming an influencer yourself?

Here are seven steps you need to follow to create real lasting relationships with influential people who will help you increase your net-influence:

Step 1: Know Yourself

Before you can build a relationship, you need to know who you are and the message you want to put out in the world. The worst thing you can do is to start trying to building relationships without any understanding of how that relationship is in line with your interests, goals and objectives.

Step 2: Know them

In order to connect and build a relationship with anyone, you need to understand who they are. This means going beyond the most common information people know about them and digging deeper into their posts, their conversations, their interviews and identifying what they’re really about.

What are some of their un-commonly known interests? What are some topics they consistently talk about that are important to them? What are some of the challenges they’re facing? The more you know about them, the better you can connect and add value to their lives.

“The key to successful leadership today is influence, not authority.” – Ken Blanchard

Step 3: Show Up

Influencers are often omni-present, meaning that they’re seen and heard on several different channels and venues at the same time. So the more you can show up and add value, the more likely you are to be on their radar. Do some research on the type of content their posting on different social networks, find out which conferences they’re speaking at, listen to interviews and podcasts where they’re being featured on and just show up to support them in whatever they’re doing. Don’t worry, you won’t be considered a stalker if you do this. You’ll be seen as an advocate for their brand and message.

Step 4: Add “Remarkable” Value

Something you hear when discussing building relationships with influencers is the need to “add value”. But an important point that is often missed is that the value you put needs to be “remarkable”. Sometimes it can be as simple as posting engaging comments or questions on one of their social media posts, or as intricate as sending them a care package with something you heard they needed. If you’ve done your homework from Step 2 and know who they are and what makes them tick, then adding value shouldn’t be too difficult.

Step 5: Be human

There is something to be said about people who can act “human” on social media. It’s as if people lose their humanity and become these self-serving, egotistical, monsters who are “too cool for school” putting up a façade of the image they want to give instead of who they actually are. Real relationships come from being authentic, bringing your guard down, letting people in and showing both strengths and weaknesses.

“Relationships are leverage. If you give value to someone else first, you have leverage.” – Gary Vaynerchuk

Step 6: Be consistent

Building real relationships takes time. That’s why it’s important not to get discouraged and to remember that influencers have many people asking for their attention. So if building a relationship with them is important to you then you will need to be consistent and put in the time.

Step 7: Find opportunities to collaborate

Once you’ve had a few meaningful interactions with the influencer you’re trying to build a relationship with, now is the time to reach out with a collaboration offer. Remember this is not about you, it’s about them. So you need to focus your offer on helping them. This is your opportunity to take Step 4 to the next level and become someone remarkable in their lives.  

Follow these steps and you’ll start building real relationships with people who will help you increase your “net influence”.

Which step do you think is the most important? Let us know in the comments.

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5 Simple Things We Can All Do to Ensure We Become a Success Story

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success story

There’s something about reading other people’s success stories that warms my heart. It makes me reflect on my life while inspiring me to believe in the possibility of my own dreams, and pursue them with gusto. Some stories make me cry because of the tales of adversity that inspired them. Others, however, amaze me because of some the ingenious and unconventional inspirations behind them. Whatever their nature, most success stories appear to share some common denominators.

The success stories I love the most are those of people I know personally and have witnessed transpire right before my eyes, because they are more relatable and reinforce my belief that success is truly possible for anyone. It isn’t necessarily influenced by our connections or backgrounds and can be achieved at any stage in one’s life – success doesn’t discriminate.

As much as we enjoy hearing other people’s success stories and celebrating those of our loved ones; there comes a point in our lives when we all aspire for the same – when we want to inspire others through our own success stories.

The following are things we can all do to ensure that we become a success story someday:

1. Adopt a mindset of success by letting go of your limiting beliefs

Belief is integral in developing a successful mindset and making anything happen. In order for us to adopt a mindset of success, we must first believe that success is possible for us and that we have what it takes to accomplish whatever it is we desire. We have to let go of any limiting beliefs we possess that make us feel unworthy of or incapable of achieving our goals or dreams. Self-imposed limitations or what others have made us believe about ourselves will tear us apart.

Anyone who has ever accomplished anything great would be wise in telling you they were able to do so because they believed they could. If we want to become a success story, we have to first see and speak of ourselves as capable of and believe that we have the power within ourselves to do anything we set our minds to.

2. Be passionate about what you do

If you want to experience success in your pursuits and someday inspire others through your own success story; you have to be passionate about what you do. Our passions are things we are naturally good at, connect with, enjoy doing and from which we derive fulfillment and purpose. Although we can experience success in different arenas of life, the endeavors which give our life meaning are those that we have a deep connection with and feel passionate about.

Some of the best success stories are often those about people who chose to pursue their passions not because money was their main motivation, but rather because they love what they do and wanted to make a difference in the world by sharing their gifts with others. Often times, people who pursue things they naturally love to do are able to attract both money and success, because it is easier to fully immerse oneself and flourish in things one enjoys.

“You have to be burning with an idea, or a problem, or a wrong that you want to right. If you’re not passionate enough from the start, you’ll never stick it out.” – Steve Jobs

3. Have a strong ‘Why’

If you read most success stories, you will discover they were inspired by a strong and solid reason. Knowing why you want to accomplish something, what accomplishing it will mean to you, and what kind of impact it will have on your life or that of others’ will play a great role in determining your success or failure. Our desires inspire us, motivate us to take action and keep us from giving up when we want to throw in the towel.

If you want to become a success story, you need to determine your motive for doing whatever you want to do and determine whether it is valid and strong enough. If this is not done, you may not have enough fuel for the long haul and sustain your commitment to your endeavors.

4. Embrace consistency – Be prepared to show up every day

Overnight success is nonexistent. If we want to become success stories, we will have to consistently cultivate our goals and dreams by putting in the time and effort needed to make them reality. Anything worth achieving and sustaining in life requires both constant and consistent effort and attention.

According to Aristotle, consistency is the key to success, and excellence isn’t an act but rather a habit; we are what we repeatedly do. Success is the sum of all the small efforts we consistently repeat day in and day out that are vital to maintaining it. Consistency allows us to form habits, measure our progress, develop routines and creates accountability that ensures follow through on our goals and dreams. Anyone who has ever experienced success in their pursuits was able to do so because they were willing to show up every day and consistently do the things that needed to be done to ensure the manifestation of their desired outcome.

5. Develop a resilient spirit

The journey towards success is wrought with challenges, obstacles, and is often much bumpier than it is smooth – those that win the race are those that manage to find their way to the finish line. Most success stories contain elements of overcoming adversities and setbacks; some of our most valued dreams will require our blood, sweat and tears to accomplish.

If you wish to share your success story someday, you have to be prepared to develop thick-skin and learn how to appropriately deal with and overcome defeat. You have to learn how to rise up after each stumble and live to fight another day until you achieve victory.

“I think there are things that we can all do to build resilience in ourselves, but also to build resilience in each other.” – Sheryl Sandberg

As you can see based on the above, success isn’t elusive or even exclusive – it is possible for every one of us as long as we are willing to do our part in ensuring the fruition of our desires. Determine why you want what you want, believe that its manifestation is possible for you, consistently take action towards your goals and dreams, be passionate about your endeavors and maintain a resilient spirit when you encounter challenges and obstacles. Trust in the process and in no time, you too will be your own success story.

What are you doing today to ensure success in the future? Let us know your story below!

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Tony Robbins Top 10 MUST Read Books to Expand Your Mind

Joel Brown (Founder of Addicted2Success.com)

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tony robbins must read books

Tony Robbins is arguably one of the top Speakers and Life Strategists of this decade and has worked with some of the world’s top leaders and high level entrepreneurs to optimize their life and business performance. Tony spends a lot of time in between his sold out events and Fortune 500 meetings reading the best content he can get his hands on to feed his mind with the most profound knowledge and strategies so he can become a person of value.

Tony Robbins often says that reading a book is like compiling decades into days. Why not extract the lessons and experiences of others and dump them into your mind from the great reads that are available out there for you.

Here are 10 books that Tony Robbins recommends! Watch the video below:


Tribe of Mentors by Tim Ferriss


Four-time #1 best-selling author Tim Ferriss tracks down more than 100 eclectic experts to help him, and you, navigate life. Through short, action-packed profiles, he shares their secrets for success, happiness, meaning, and more. No matter the challenge or opportunity, something in these pages can help.

 

Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl’s memoir has riveted generations of readers with its descriptions of life in Nazi death camps and its lessons for spiritual survival.

At the time of Frankl’s death in 1997, Man’s Search for Meaning had sold more than 10 million copies in twenty-four languages. A 1991 reader survey for the Library of Congress that asked readers to name a “book that made a difference in your life” found Man’s Search for Meaning among the ten most influential books in America.

 

Principles by Ray Dalio

Ray Dalio, one of the world’s most successful investors and entrepreneurs, shares the unconventional principles that he’s developed, refined, and used over the past forty years to create unique results in both life and business—and which any person or organization can adopt to help achieve their goals.

 

Living Forward by Michael Hyatt & Daniel Harkavy

New York Times bestselling author Michael Hyatt and executive coach Daniel Harkavy show us how to design a life with the end in mind, determining in advance the outcomes we desire and path to get there. In this step-by-step guide, they share proven principles that help readers create a simple but effective life plan so that they can get from where they are now to where they really want to be–in every area of life.

 

Start with Why by Simon Sinek

START WITH WHY shows that the leaders who’ve had the greatest influence in the world all think, act, and communicate the same way — and it’s the opposite of what everyone else does. Simon Sinek calls this powerful idea The Golden Circle, and it provides a framework upon which organizations can be built, movements can be led, and people can be inspired. And it all starts with WHY.

 

As a Man Thinketh by James Allen

Widely considered the greatest self-help book of all-time, As a Man Thinketh reveals how our thoughts determine our character, circumstances, health, appearance, and achievements. The choice is ours: either master our thoughts to create the life we want, or remain mired in frustration and failure.

 

The TB12 Method by Tom Brady: How to Achieve a Lifetime of Sustained Peak Performance

After using his methods for over a decade, Brady believes that the TB12 approach has made him—and can make any athlete, male or female, in any sport and at any level—achieve their own peak performance. With instructions, drills, photos, in-depth case studies that Brady himself has used, as well as personal anecdotes and experiences from on and off the field, The TB12 Method is the only book an athlete will ever need, a playbook from Brady himself that will change the game.

 

Getting Everything You Can Out of All You’ve Got by Jay Abraham: 21 Ways You Can Out-Think, Out-Perform, and Out-Earn the Competition

A trusted advisor to America’s top corporations and recognized as one of today’s preeminent marketing experts, Jay Abraham has created a program of proven strategies to help you realize undreamed-of success!

This book focuses on helping you spot the hidden assets, overlooked opportunities, and untapped resources around you, and gives you, and gives you fresh eyes with which to see and capitalize on them. You’ll also learn how to adapt and apply these tools to your unique circumstances to maximize your income, influence, power, and success.

 

Emerson: Essays and Lectures

Tony Robbins says he was hugely inspired by Emerson’s essays on the subject when he was beginning his career as a coach. Tony said “Self-reliance is a theme all human beings, especially those living in the Western world, have to fully understand if they’re going to do well in a world that’s changing constantly”.

 

Linchpin by Seth Godin: Are You Indispensable?

Few authors have had the kind of lasting impact and global reach that Seth Godin has had. In a series of now-classic books that have been translated into 36 languages and reached millions of readers around the world, he has taught generations of readers how to make remarkable products and spread powerful ideas. In Linchpin, he turns his attention to the individual, and explains how anyone can make a significant impact within their organization.

 

Here is the podcast interview I did with Tony Robbins. Tony absolutely rocked it and I’m sure you will enjoy this audio.

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How to Cause Positive Change in Your Life and Business

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positive change

Whether change is good or bad, it can be scary, and that’s ok. The thing we need to be able to do is conquer that fear and keeping moving to make positive changes in our lives. To reach massive success, we have to strive for the best we can be in every aspect of our lives, including how we feel about ourselves, and how we treat others. So let’s start each day off right, do good for others, feel good about ourselves, and do our best in what we do.

Do good for others

I firmly believe that everyone should donate what they can to help others in the world. That doesn’t always have to be money, it can be time, clothing, a meal, or even a warm blanket. You will never know how something as small as that can change someone’s life. Whether you believe in karma, luck, or fate, there is an undeniable theme in the world of what goes around comes around.

Have you ever made fun of someone, then instantly tripped, or broke something? How about giving money to someone who needed it, then found more later on? Have you ever just volunteered, and felt good about yourself for being involved? Doing good for your friends, family, or community has so many rewards in itself, it is hard to deny its positive impact in your life.

Now I’m not saying get out there and help people because you’ll get stuff. There is a good chance you won’t actually receive any tangible items just from helping others. However, doing good in your neighborhood, community, or even on a larger scale can help drastically improve self image, the way others look at you, and can even help you meet like-minded people.

Being passionate about helping others isn’t always something everyone is born with but that doesn’t mean you can’t find something you are passionate about and use it to help others.

Staying positive can be hard but it’s what’s required

It can be hard to feel good about your choices, what is going on in your life, or even just yourself daily. Nonetheless, keeping yourself positive can open a world you never thought possible. When you feel low and down, it is incredibly hard to believe you can get anything done, especially the big stuff that your business needs to thrive.

“Dwell on the beauty in life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.” – Marcus Aurelius

How are you going to do great things if you only see the bad in life? Once you start to see all the beauty that the world offers, it will be much easier to dream big, and hope for more. Even if you think that the world is a beautiful place, it can be a struggle thinking that you are good enough. Making sure you are in a good headspace, and are happy with yourself is important to your mental and physical health.

Starting the morning with movement, meditation, affirmations, whatever makes you feel good, can help you believe in yourself a little more each day. Additionally, surrounding yourself with people and things that make you feel good is a great place to start. Don’t let people in your life who cause you to much stress or keep you thinking about all the negative things in your life. Likewise, don’t be that person to others, help lift others up, and it will be easier for others to help lift you up.

Stay educated and keep learning

There is no secret that you need to be good at what you do if you want customers, but how do we get better? Now, this is a heavily guarded secret that i’m going to share with you today. YOU ARE NOT PERFECT AT WHAT YOU DO, AND YOU NEVER WILL BE. Ok maybe not really a secret, but it got your attention right?

So you aren’t the best, and you make mistakes, so what? You can always be better, and you can better yourself through education. You may say, “but Stephen I don’t want to go back to school.” Well luckily I don’t remember saying you should. There are endless resources for you to learn about your field, and the fields surrounding yours. Look for podcasts, lectures, forums, and meetups to be around people who will help you grow.  

Seriously, the possibilities for learning are endless. Each time you listen to someone else’s opinion, you have the chance of hearing a point of view you’ve never heard before, or learning a new technique or new way of approaching something.

Remembering that you can never be to good at what you do is important, even if you are a master at it, you can still learn. If you are at the point in your career where you can’t find any resources to learn, then start teaching. When you teach what you know, it helps create a different understanding of the knowledge. A lot of times, people will ask questions you never thought of or weren’t relevant when you were learning. To be good at what you do, you have to know everything you can about it.

“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” – Benjamin Franklin

If each day we strive for better in every aspect of our lives, we will ultimately find ourselves constantly moving towards massive success. It may be hard each day to continue, and although some days we will do better, it is important to stick to it and always remember tomorrow is a new day.

How are you making sure you are moving your life in the direction you desire? Let us know in the comments below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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