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10 Things You Can Learn From Hitting Rock Bottom

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rock bottom

Remember everything happens for a reason. Hitting rock bottom is an indication to self-reflect and an opportunity to rebuild yourself. You feel lost and there’s no way back, however the universe can work wonders and it is not over when you think it is.

The past 6 months were one of the hardest times of my life. Friendships that were false and toxic, a family relative passing away; it was a tough time for me and my family. Life took an interesting twist after I had just settled into a different city with a new job. With reasons beyond my control I found myself stuck in another city and so desperately wanted to come back.

It was at this point that I would describe as hitting rock bottom. I grew an attachment to people in the world that are going through much worse than me; my wake-up call. I learnt that even at the point where you feel your weakest things can change for the better.

I was able come back to my home city after gaining success. This is the iceberg illusion, that we all have a story deep down underneath, success isn’t what’s seen on the surface, it’s the lessons we take that defines our journey.

Here are some important lessons that I learned from hitting rock bottom:

1. Trust the journey

When you encounter failure, it is important not to bear regret. Don’t lose enthusiasm; your last chapter has not been written. It is ok to panic about big life decisions and yes visualizing the end goal is great, however attention must be given to developing a concrete understanding of acknowledging that it is ok to fail at times.

2. Enlightenment

When I hit rock bottom it opened up so many questions. I began to question my ego, my purpose, my belief, is this the right path. Life had taken a new turn, an unknown force shifted my mind and I examined everything in detail and soon an opportunity came; a foundation to a new beginning.

3. You learn to let go

It is ok to say no. Don’t rush committing to a decision. When you’re young and hungry it’s very easy to be swayed a certain way. As you mature you learn so much and you’re able to let go of specific things as you know probably from the outset that it won’t add value to your journey. When you do let go it creates an opening to ideas, people, and hidden strengths and capabilities.

“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.” – Oprah Winfrey

4. Responsibility

You accept responsibility instead of relating to excuses and negative attitudes. A maturity level is reached to accept outcomes, identify weaknesses and create a solution focused behavioral state to progress further. This provides you an element of control; you created this hole and now you can get yourself out.

5. Distance yourself from negative people

I began to see who really stuck close to me even during my tough times. You cannot expect to live a positive life if you’re hanging around negative people. Negative people affect your energy levels because doubts are planted in your head. Honestly, they don’t deserve attention, so focus on you and let go of toxic relationships. When you let go do not feel guilt do it gracefully. It is the guilt that draws many people back. The right people make you feel comfortable.

6. Inspires you to take action

In my experience, it triggered this profound fighting spirit to chase what I really needed. The irony in that when I was feeling the weakest that I became stronger. I accepted my situation and drew courage to take further action. However, this action seemed connected with the universe, it seemed right; the timing was right, I felt driven. There is nothing to lose, you’re in this and I can do it!

7. Life experience

Your outlook on life changes because you know what it feels like to experience tough situations. You know that life is a process and nothing comes easy and you develop wisdom and patience, which is a lesson to others. One of the powers I gained was to visualize success even when I was going through struggle.

8. Human connection and belief

I am human, I can make mistakes, we are not perfect. You are drawn to human needs. We all have struggles and this starts communication with other humans; shared stories, similar journeys, which makes us realize that the human spirit is unbreakable.

“Cherish your human connections – your relationships with friends and family.” – Barbara Bush

9. The only way is up

Every step is a “positive step”, even if you feel nothing is changing. Crawl, walk, fly, do what you must do. Every action counts for something. Don’t let people judge your downfall. Show them a reason that you’re the person that came through a storm.

10. Simplicity will help you move forward

Hitting a low point overwhelms you with compassion, humility and it makes you grateful for what you have. Little means so much more. Simple things like your good health, having enough money to be content are things to treasure.

Greatness will come with patience. You are great person. You have it inside you to take on all challenges. Let’s get ready to achieve more. Don’t you dare give up!

What are some lessons you’ve learned from hitting rock bottom? Please leave your thoughts below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Besides working in the field of science; helping patients through genetic testing, my purpose is to empower and inspire people in life with motivational videos, messages, articles and stories from around the world. I love to engage creative and ambitious minds on my Facebook page www.facebook.com/motivationwithusman.

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The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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