Life
10 Hidden Blessings in Rejection, Losing and Failure
Rejection. Losing. Failure.
Nobody strives for them. No athlete sets out for last place, no entrepreneur’s goal is bankruptcy.
But as if an act of divine mercy, there’s positives to be found in the negatives. In fact, it’s almost gospel the extent we hear successful people preaching the value in failing.
Denis Waitley said it well:
“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.”
Successful people lick their wounds but never leave the battlefield, they turn their scars into strengths.
In approaching rejection, losing and failure, here are 10 hidden blessings:
1. You’ll Clarify Your Passions
Many of us struggle with decision making. Those with creative energy typically have their hand in multiple pies. But even a jack-of-all-trades knows there’s a limit to how thin you can spread yourself.
Often, failure and losing result from diminished passion. You realize you weren’t as passionate about that project as first thought. The pruning effect is a positive. As you clear your plate a little, the things that are left are what really gets you excited, and you direct your energy toward them.
Focused energy is when you’re most effective, failure gets rid of fluff.
2. You’ll Uncover New Skills
Remember when George Bush nimbly dodged that shoe destined for his head? Nobody thought he had the skill to do that. And I suspect neither did he. Until that moment.
Facing challenges and enduring a loss causes us to gather up resources and develop skills beyond our arsenal. In cases of “hysterical strength,” where ordinary people lift cars off someone trapped, it’s the negative situation that produces the surge of adrenaline and an act beyond one’s capability.
Negative experiences cause us to respond in ways beyond what we thought possible. The obstacle beckons to be overcome. In order to rise to the occasion, there needs to be an occasion.
3. You’ll Find Out Who Your Friends Are
Take a spill and you’ll see who emerges out of the Facebook crowd to lift you up. Sure, everyone’s busy, but we make time for the things we value and care about. “I’m too busy” can be translated, “It’s not that important.”
Relationships are crucial in life, they take a lot of work and time invested—you don’t want to be investing in bad stock. Of course friendships aren’t to be boiled down to a shallow transaction, but unfortunately, some folks see them that way— a lot of taking without any giving. It’s these relationships that need severing. There’s no honor, or sense, in helping others when you’re hurting yourself.
Hitting rock bottom uncovers the healthy relationships from the detrimental. You’ll want to keep investing in those who are nursing your wounds, and distance yourself from the silent and nowhere to be seen.
4. You’ll Check Your Blind Spots
It only takes one accident for a driver never to forget checking their blind spot again. A harsh way to learn, but some changes in behavior only happen with such shocks to the system.
While there are habits and skills we’ve not yet acquired, failures remind us of the ones we do possess, but simply lazy in doing. After suffering a robbery, you’ll never forget to lock the screen door again.
5. You’ll Burn Away Pride and Arrogance
Nobody is immune to pride and arrogance. To say you’re beyond pride and arrogance is a little… well… prideful and arrogant. Losing is the glass of water for that bitter pill of pride. But that unpleasant process gives birth to humility. Which is perhaps the most attractive and profitable virtue anyone can possess.
As the proverb goes, “Pride goeth before the fall;” rejection and loss exchanges pride for humility, and may be the savior that prevents your fall.
6. You’ll Grow Elephant Skin
The shins of Muay Thai fighters can break baseball bats. The micro-fractures from hours upon hours of kicking heavy bags are filled with calcium, resulting in abnormal bone density. It’s just as muscle fibers grow as a result of micro-tears in the gym.
The old adage rings true—it’s the pain that brings the gain. The healing of a fracture carries a gift. 101-advice for anyone stepping out to pursue their dream is prepare for rejection, criticism and haters. And with each punch thrown your way, you’ll realize that you can’t please everyone, and the impact will start to soften. You’ll even learn to bob and weave, realizing the issue lies more with them than with you.
7. You’ll Never Wonder “What If?” Again
The question of “What if?” can cause hours on end staring out the window. When that curiosity is pursued only to find you’ve boarded the wrong plane, failure is the blessing that pulls you right off. You’ll no longer be kept up at night wondering about that other option.
Curiosity can cripple our consciousness and distracts from the work we should be doing. But sometimes engaging your own nagging is the only way to silence it.
Seeing his father drink beer, a teenage Tony Robbins begged his mother to let him try. Not only did she let him try, she gave him a whole six-pack, and wouldn’t let him leave until he drank every drop. Tony has never touched alcohol since. The taste of his own vomit may have something to do with that.
8. You’ll Finally Ask For Help
Anyone with passion and ambition is tragically plagued with superhero-syndrome, which is both helpful, and harmful; particularly when the candle is burning at both ends, and you’re drifting toward burnout.
When the word “help” disappears from our vocabulary, it’s found when we crash and burn. We realize the skill of delegation is critical for our health and progress. We need to move away from viewing help negatively as a form of weakness, to positively—that our success is growing beyond our own capacity.
9. You’ll Go To The Drawing Board
And you’ll engage in iteration. The process of reevaluating and refining, which produces a better end-result. As the saying goes, “Why fix it if it ain’t broke?” Some things need fixing, but reevaluation doesn’t happen if something doesn’t break.
No doubt one of the greatest human achievements: 110-mile swim from Cuba to Florida without a shark cage. The only individual in the world to accomplish that feat—64-year old Diana Nyad. She was on her fifth attempt, her first attempt back in 1978 and three other attempts from 2011 – 2012.
Her last attempt was cut short with jellyfish stings that left her face puffed and swollen. This time, she wore a full bodysuit, gloves, and a mask at night—when jellyfish rise to the surface.
She failed, went back to the drawing board, made iterations, and succeeded.
10. You’ll Appreciate Your Success
Value and meaning become heightened in the face of difficulty. The greatest celebrations come from the toughest battles. You’ll realize the dream isn’t all rainbows and butterflies.
When the journey includes getting back on your feet and dusting yourself off, you’ll be more inclined to stop when you see roses, and express a little more gratitude and appreciation at the finish line.
Among the 14 “Eight-Thousanders” on earth, few recognize Kangchenjunga—while Everest is a household name. There’s only 262 meters separating the two mountains, but it’s the failures and deaths on Everest that make it the most respected and celebrated climb.
The bitterness of every failure adds sweetness to every victory.
There are strategies which bring together all happy and successful people who can also use them to improve the quality of your life. Usually when you want to change your life, you don’t know where to start and you risk losing the motivation because you don’t know the best strategies to apply. To change your life forever you have to change yourself. If you want to achieve extraordinary results, you must become an extraordinary person.
Here are 30 ways you can change your life today:
1. Face your fears, first the smallest, then the greatest.
2. Transform gratitude into a daily and constant mood. This will allow you to change your life.
3. Be conscious in every moment of what you think, feel, desire and do. Be Present. Do the exercises of “Remembering yourself” all year round.
4. Engage in realizing your dreams, creating a monthly plan with daily actions to accomplish them.
5. Decide what person you want to become, create a purpose that will guide your life and your days.
6. Practice observing thoughts, without identifying yourself with them.
7. Make your power supply healthier.
8. Read more books and take part in several courses and seminars.
9. Always out of the ordinary, do not imitate the mass.
10. Make gentle gestures to people you don’t know.
11. Imagine yourself while you have realized your dreams.
12. Take more time to be alone and get to know you better.
13. Live with the awareness that nothing is yours, everything is a gift.
14. Stop complaining; stop complaining; stop complaining.
15. Help others with the example.
16. Smile and laugh more often, even without reason.
17. Stay for a longer time in contact with nature.
18. Think, talk and act as the person you want to become.
19. Be punctual and if you make a mistake, please apologize.
20. Say thank you for each gift, learn to receive.
21. Change a habit or recurring reaction.
22. Take responsibility for the successes and failures you achieve, never point your finger at someone else.
23. Admire and bless more often.
24. Strive to perceive perfection and beauty in everything that happens to you.
25. Inwardly love your enemies, even if you don’t talk to them externally.
26. Learn a musical instrument or a new language.
27. Keep promises made.
28. During a difficult period ask yourself “What can I learn from this situation”?
29. Do more often what is right and less what is convenient for you.
30. Change your way of thinking.
If you want to change your life forever, you must act as if you were already the person you want to become. Take action as if you were already sure of yourself, and see what beliefs are held by successful people, great leaders, the best in your industry and those who get great results.
Listening to them, spend time with them, try to understand what they think, how they see each other, and what they think about their activity. Read the books of those who get the same results that you want to achieve, listen to their interviews, read their autobiographies, and find out what their mental attitude is.
All successful people have similar beliefs
I’ll tell you a secret: There is no greater psychological strength than the need we have to remain consistent with our own identity; to remain consistent with who we believe we are. What does that mean? Simple, that everything that anything I put after the words “I am:…” becomes reality.
If you think you are shy, you will do everything you can to act accordingly. If you believe you are extroverted, you will give everything to act accordingly. Listen and pay attention to what you add after the words “I am…”. If you don’t believe you can achieve your goals beyond the objective difficulties, you won’t be able to do it anyway: you will be the first cause of your failure.
Which one of these 30 strategies will you implement in your life today? Let us know in the comments below!
Image courtesy of Twenty20.com
It’s time for some good news! You’re only ever lacking in three areas and guess what? You can turn those 3 things around relatively easily and quickly!
It’s easy to get caught up thinking, that you’re miles behind, that you can’t find your flow or mojo or that you’re just lazy and unmotivated. The good news is you are only a few decisions, actions and days away from finding your mojo again!
Here are 3 things you need to look at when you’re feeling down and out:
1. Energy levels
The first place to look when you lose your mojo is your energy levels. What are you eating & drinking? Are you eating lean, green and light? If you aren’t already, cut your intake down and focus on hydrating your body with water and eating fresh organic food. Being light on your feet and energizing your body is most important.
Also, take a look at your exercise regime. Are you exercising for energy or are you burning your body out at the gym? Make sure you are getting good consistent rest every night and don’t forget to spend some time alone in nature connecting with your inner most self.
“You just got to wake up with a smile and love every minute of building your dream.” – Joe Duncan
2. Production levels
The second place to look is your production levels or more so, your lack of production! Are you producing enough work or activity to get the results you want? That’s usually the real cause of most of your problems; a lack of work, effort and momentum. In many cases a lack of production stems from a lack of energy – but hey, we’re working on that right?
3. Confidence levels
The third place to look when you’re floundering is your confidence levels. But don’t panic, we all lose our confidence from time to time. When you lose your confidence and your sense of certainty, everything else will be impacted, especially your performance.
The best way to get your confidence back is to go back to basics for a few days and try and build some momentum and get your flow back. You lose your confidence when you lose your self belief, so do the simple things you know you can do well, then you’ll start to believe in your ability again!
“You won’t always get it right, but that doesn’t mean you’re never going to get it right.” – Joe Duncan
It’s time to get your mojo back and get back in the game. Remember next time when you get stuck you only have to make adjustments in these three areas and most likely they will only be small tweaks and changes that need to be implemented.
Click here if you are having trouble finding your flow, lost motivation and need some help to get back on your feet!
Image courtesy of Twenty20.com
I struggled with many aspects of life early on such as growing up in challenging circumstances and getting bullied at school. I read my first self-development book at 13 and attended many courses and workshops, but nothing I encountered made the difference for me. It was only once I found a set of energetic processes and tools which I now use in my life and my work that I was able to turn things around.
Today, I get to write for you about my experiences, run a thriving mentoring and healing practice and travel to attend classes and events.
Here are some of the things I’ve done/learned along the way:
1. I took responsibility for my actions
I believe we attract all our experiences in order to learn from them. It is tough when we go through things we don’t know how to handle and experience pain, fear and anxiety as a result.
This leaves us many emotions to release and a skill gap to bridge, which if done right, allows us to develop a level of confidence about how to turn experience into awareness and integrate our learning into wisdom for future ease and higher outcomes.
For me, learning to let go was hard (we are not taught this and I kept feeling like I had to hold onto things to protect myself). After a while, I came to the decision that “It’s not what’s happened to me, it’s how I deal with it that matters”.
Choosing from this space was empowering and allowed me to move from regret and develop a sense of purpose from my experiences.
2. I jumped off the cliff without a parachute and became inspired and trusting on the way down
I had gotten to the point where if I stayed where I was, I would die. I didn’t know how my life would look or who I would become in the process of changing, yet I knew if I was going to survive I had to become a radically different version of me.
Once I made that decision, I found the tools I was looking for that were relatable, fun and powerful. I began to change my thoughts, feelings and emotions and way of viewing the world.
After a while, instead of using personal development to escape the pain of my life, I became addicted to pursuing the highest version of myself and curious how much change and transformation I could create. I was having fun!
I began to ask what was possible for me I’d never imagined and realized that who I actually am is completely different from who I had thought I wanted to become. I discovered my soul purpose was connected to my inner work and my years of struggle and transformation meant that I had something valuable to offer others.
“What we are waiting for is not as important as what happens to us while we are waiting. Trust the process.” – Mandy Hale
3. I had the unshakeable belief something else was possible
As growth, healing, and expansion became my highest goal, the details filled themselves in. The right people and things showed up to trigger my growth and to support me which helped me be less fearful, and more able to give and receive love from others.
I lost layers of accumulated emotional garbage and started to connect with my power and purpose. I stopped telling my victim story (except to inspire others) and I began to trust myself and have faith in life again to have my back.
4. I made heaps of mistakes and instead of feeling bad about it, I felt determined, courageous and free
This part was tough. There were setbacks, embarrassments, discouragements and challenges but I wasn’t going to give in and quit.
I had to suck at some things in order to get better. Creating a new life from scratch is a great way to lose ego. There were a few hurdles where I would get super upset, yet giving up was never an option.
There’s no point in being upset so I sucked it up and moved on. This takes courage and feels totally weird at first, but it is so worth it.
5. I became a new version of me
In the course of recreating myself, I began to develop new attributes. I was so focusing on changing, I didn’t notice what was different about me at first.
Every few months I would write my goals and it wasn’t until I would check them that I began to realize how much I’d accomplished in the process of changing me.
This became clearer whenever I would run across someone who I once looked up to because their life suddenly looked smaller than I remembered. While they had been comfortable and barely moving, I had plodded past them like the proverbial tortoise. As I stay on this trajectory, the benefits and changes multiply exponentially over time.
“Every day, you reinvent yourself. You’re always in motion. But you decide every day: forward or backward.” – James Altucher
6. I became open to new ideas and concepts
In the process of being cracked wide open by life, I became curious, accepting and interested in different ideas, concepts and techniques.
Things like manifesting, consciousness, spirituality and other ‘strange’ ideas became my friends. After years of trying to create change via psychological means, effort, willpower and implementing traditional tools of personal development, I found my wheelhouse in the different.
Today I am grateful for my early adversity and my own persistence and determination. Without them, who I am today would have remained undiscovered and I wouldn’t get to do the cool stuff I do with other people. I am grateful for the amazing tools and information around today, which can make the journey so much easier.
What helps you keep moving when you feel like giving up? Let us know in the comments below!
Image courtesy of Twenty20.com
A popular meme reads: “I’m having people over to stare at their phones later if you want to come by…” It’s kind of funny in an alarming way since many people would consider walking barefoot across flaming hot coals before parting with their smartphones for a few weeks.
As useful as things like the Internet and mobile devices are, taking time to occasionally unplug is a good habit. Even if for no other reason than to develop your willpower and avoid being too heavily addicted to your wireless toy.
Consider the following three reasons for periodically unplugging from technology and taking a minute to smell the roses:
1. Face-To-Face Interaction
As useful as social media is for things like marketing, maintaining contact with old friends and sending messages across the world in the blink of an eye, there’s no substitute for a friendly meeting and a firm handshake.
There are few things in life that have more potential to increase our happiness than building good relationships with the people around us. Taking the effort to postpone the reading and answering of your latest text message in order to listen and offer attention to the person in front of you can be a great way to improve relationships and show people you care.
If you want a more practical and success-driven reason, then consider the fact that developing a healthy network is one of the most powerful ways to successfully grow your business or career. Spending a business lunch or golf game glued to your touchscreen is a lousy way to build that network.
2. Creative Thinking
Creativity is another powerful asset in your effort to expand your success, solve your problems and increase your happiness. Getting in the habit of frequent, diligent reading (an activity often performed with mobile devices) is essential in developing your creative capacity. In addition, investing alone time to occasionally take a step back to think, review options and consider possible solutions towards life’s struggles is a great quality.
Making a habit of doing so can be beneficial for planning your career, planning an exciting night out on the town with your spouse, planning how to discipline your teenager and plenty more.
“Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart.” – Mencius
3. Health Concerns
The health risks caused by electromagnetic frequencies (EMFs) are numerous and not to be ignored. Health damaging EMFs are emitted by various types of electronic devices including cellphones, tablets and laptops among others. Although pretending these dangers don’t exist may seem convenient, there’s nothing convenient about dealing with the consequences. Some have even suggested that cell phones may eventually prove to be as cancerous as cigarettes. Don’t believe me?
In the book ‘The Non-Tinfoil Guide To EMFs’, Nicolas Pineault writes, “A $25M study performed by the US National Toxicology Program (NTP) studied the effects of exposing rats and mice to an amount of cellphone radiation equivalent to what a human would get by talking for 30 minutes a day, for 36 years.
“As reported by Microwave News: ‘The exposed rats were found to have higher rates of two types of cancers: glioma, a tumor of the glial cells in the brain, and malignant schwannoma of the heart, a very rare tumor. None of the unexposed control rats developed either type of tumor.’
“The irony is the whole reason John Bucher, the senior manager of the NTP study, wanted his agency to run this study is to prove once and for all that cellphones do not cause cancer.”
Swearing off technology is probably not the most practical solution. (Although if that’s your thing, then rock on.) That said, occasionally taking a break from technology and spending some time in nature might help counteract some of the negative effects.
Bonus: Stress Reduction
With so many people in our culture complaining of excessive stress and/or taking antidepressants, it makes sense to proactively take steps to reduce stress before it builds up so much that you experience a nervous breakdown.
I don’t know about you, but when I get away from the computer or turn off my mobile device for a bit, I can feel the difference. If I’ve been working on my laptop or tablet for too long, then getting away and taking a break offers a noticeable relief. I almost immediately feel calmer.
If you’ve been on your phone/tablet/computer for a while, consider taking a few minutes after you finish reading this article to leave technology behind and catch a breath of fresh air.
“The more ways we have to connect, the more many of us seem desperate to unplug.” – Pico Iyer
Are you ready to build stronger relationships? Are you ready to proactively develop creative solutions? Are you ready to start preserving your health? Are you ready to leave some of that stress behind you? If so, then it’s time to fit a periodical unplug into your schedule. You might be surprised by how much this helps.
How many hours of the day do you use your phone? Are you being productive on it? Let us know in the comments below so we can help one another.
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Life
Change Your Life Forever With These 30 Strategies
There are strategies which bring together all happy and successful people who can also use them to improve the quality of your life. Usually when you want to change your life, you don’t know where to start and you risk losing the motivation because you don’t know the best strategies to apply. To change your life forever you have to change yourself. If you want to achieve extraordinary results, you must become an extraordinary person. (more…)
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Thank you Thai for that great post. None of us can avoid being rejected, failing or losing but how we view losing, failing and being rejected differentiates us from each other.
Unfortunately we were taught from an early age that failing, losing and rejections are so bad that many times it is hard for people to recover.
We indeed need to become stronger and develop skin like that of the elephant more often so the pain and time it takes to recover is shorter and our perception and attitude more positive.
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You’re absolutely right Rose, we are conditioned from a young age. Hopefully this will encourage others to think differently. Wish you all the best!
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There are strategies which bring together all happy and successful people who can also use them to improve the quality of your life. Usually when you want to change your life, you don’t know where to start and you risk losing the motivation because you don’t know the best strategies to apply. To change your life forever you have to change yourself. If you want to achieve extraordinary results, you must become an extraordinary person.
Here are 30 ways you can change your life today:
1. Face your fears, first the smallest, then the greatest.
2. Transform gratitude into a daily and constant mood. This will allow you to change your life.
3. Be conscious in every moment of what you think, feel, desire and do. Be Present. Do the exercises of “Remembering yourself” all year round.
4. Engage in realizing your dreams, creating a monthly plan with daily actions to accomplish them.
5. Decide what person you want to become, create a purpose that will guide your life and your days.
6. Practice observing thoughts, without identifying yourself with them.
7. Make your power supply healthier.
8. Read more books and take part in several courses and seminars.
9. Always out of the ordinary, do not imitate the mass.
10. Make gentle gestures to people you don’t know.
11. Imagine yourself while you have realized your dreams.
12. Take more time to be alone and get to know you better.
13. Live with the awareness that nothing is yours, everything is a gift.
14. Stop complaining; stop complaining; stop complaining.
15. Help others with the example.
16. Smile and laugh more often, even without reason.
17. Stay for a longer time in contact with nature.
18. Think, talk and act as the person you want to become.
19. Be punctual and if you make a mistake, please apologize.
20. Say thank you for each gift, learn to receive.
21. Change a habit or recurring reaction.
22. Take responsibility for the successes and failures you achieve, never point your finger at someone else.
23. Admire and bless more often.
24. Strive to perceive perfection and beauty in everything that happens to you.
25. Inwardly love your enemies, even if you don’t talk to them externally.
26. Learn a musical instrument or a new language.
27. Keep promises made.
28. During a difficult period ask yourself “What can I learn from this situation”?
29. Do more often what is right and less what is convenient for you.
30. Change your way of thinking.
If you want to change your life forever, you must act as if you were already the person you want to become. Take action as if you were already sure of yourself, and see what beliefs are held by successful people, great leaders, the best in your industry and those who get great results.
Listening to them, spend time with them, try to understand what they think, how they see each other, and what they think about their activity. Read the books of those who get the same results that you want to achieve, listen to their interviews, read their autobiographies, and find out what their mental attitude is.
All successful people have similar beliefs
I’ll tell you a secret: There is no greater psychological strength than the need we have to remain consistent with our own identity; to remain consistent with who we believe we are. What does that mean? Simple, that everything that anything I put after the words “I am:…” becomes reality.
If you think you are shy, you will do everything you can to act accordingly. If you believe you are extroverted, you will give everything to act accordingly. Listen and pay attention to what you add after the words “I am…”. If you don’t believe you can achieve your goals beyond the objective difficulties, you won’t be able to do it anyway: you will be the first cause of your failure.
Which one of these 30 strategies will you implement in your life today? Let us know in the comments below!
Image courtesy of Twenty20.com
It’s time for some good news! You’re only ever lacking in three areas and guess what? You can turn those 3 things around relatively easily and quickly!
It’s easy to get caught up thinking, that you’re miles behind, that you can’t find your flow or mojo or that you’re just lazy and unmotivated. The good news is you are only a few decisions, actions and days away from finding your mojo again!
Here are 3 things you need to look at when you’re feeling down and out:
1. Energy levels
The first place to look when you lose your mojo is your energy levels. What are you eating & drinking? Are you eating lean, green and light? If you aren’t already, cut your intake down and focus on hydrating your body with water and eating fresh organic food. Being light on your feet and energizing your body is most important.
Also, take a look at your exercise regime. Are you exercising for energy or are you burning your body out at the gym? Make sure you are getting good consistent rest every night and don’t forget to spend some time alone in nature connecting with your inner most self.
“You just got to wake up with a smile and love every minute of building your dream.” – Joe Duncan
2. Production levels
The second place to look is your production levels or more so, your lack of production! Are you producing enough work or activity to get the results you want? That’s usually the real cause of most of your problems; a lack of work, effort and momentum. In many cases a lack of production stems from a lack of energy – but hey, we’re working on that right?
3. Confidence levels
The third place to look when you’re floundering is your confidence levels. But don’t panic, we all lose our confidence from time to time. When you lose your confidence and your sense of certainty, everything else will be impacted, especially your performance.
The best way to get your confidence back is to go back to basics for a few days and try and build some momentum and get your flow back. You lose your confidence when you lose your self belief, so do the simple things you know you can do well, then you’ll start to believe in your ability again!
“You won’t always get it right, but that doesn’t mean you’re never going to get it right.” – Joe Duncan
It’s time to get your mojo back and get back in the game. Remember next time when you get stuck you only have to make adjustments in these three areas and most likely they will only be small tweaks and changes that need to be implemented.
Click here if you are having trouble finding your flow, lost motivation and need some help to get back on your feet!
Image courtesy of Twenty20.com
I struggled with many aspects of life early on such as growing up in challenging circumstances and getting bullied at school. I read my first self-development book at 13 and attended many courses and workshops, but nothing I encountered made the difference for me. It was only once I found a set of energetic processes and tools which I now use in my life and my work that I was able to turn things around.
Today, I get to write for you about my experiences, run a thriving mentoring and healing practice and travel to attend classes and events.
Here are some of the things I’ve done/learned along the way:
1. I took responsibility for my actions
I believe we attract all our experiences in order to learn from them. It is tough when we go through things we don’t know how to handle and experience pain, fear and anxiety as a result.
This leaves us many emotions to release and a skill gap to bridge, which if done right, allows us to develop a level of confidence about how to turn experience into awareness and integrate our learning into wisdom for future ease and higher outcomes.
For me, learning to let go was hard (we are not taught this and I kept feeling like I had to hold onto things to protect myself). After a while, I came to the decision that “It’s not what’s happened to me, it’s how I deal with it that matters”.
Choosing from this space was empowering and allowed me to move from regret and develop a sense of purpose from my experiences.
2. I jumped off the cliff without a parachute and became inspired and trusting on the way down
I had gotten to the point where if I stayed where I was, I would die. I didn’t know how my life would look or who I would become in the process of changing, yet I knew if I was going to survive I had to become a radically different version of me.
Once I made that decision, I found the tools I was looking for that were relatable, fun and powerful. I began to change my thoughts, feelings and emotions and way of viewing the world.
After a while, instead of using personal development to escape the pain of my life, I became addicted to pursuing the highest version of myself and curious how much change and transformation I could create. I was having fun!
I began to ask what was possible for me I’d never imagined and realized that who I actually am is completely different from who I had thought I wanted to become. I discovered my soul purpose was connected to my inner work and my years of struggle and transformation meant that I had something valuable to offer others.
“What we are waiting for is not as important as what happens to us while we are waiting. Trust the process.” – Mandy Hale
3. I had the unshakeable belief something else was possible
As growth, healing, and expansion became my highest goal, the details filled themselves in. The right people and things showed up to trigger my growth and to support me which helped me be less fearful, and more able to give and receive love from others.
I lost layers of accumulated emotional garbage and started to connect with my power and purpose. I stopped telling my victim story (except to inspire others) and I began to trust myself and have faith in life again to have my back.
4. I made heaps of mistakes and instead of feeling bad about it, I felt determined, courageous and free
This part was tough. There were setbacks, embarrassments, discouragements and challenges but I wasn’t going to give in and quit.
I had to suck at some things in order to get better. Creating a new life from scratch is a great way to lose ego. There were a few hurdles where I would get super upset, yet giving up was never an option.
There’s no point in being upset so I sucked it up and moved on. This takes courage and feels totally weird at first, but it is so worth it.
5. I became a new version of me
In the course of recreating myself, I began to develop new attributes. I was so focusing on changing, I didn’t notice what was different about me at first.
Every few months I would write my goals and it wasn’t until I would check them that I began to realize how much I’d accomplished in the process of changing me.
This became clearer whenever I would run across someone who I once looked up to because their life suddenly looked smaller than I remembered. While they had been comfortable and barely moving, I had plodded past them like the proverbial tortoise. As I stay on this trajectory, the benefits and changes multiply exponentially over time.
“Every day, you reinvent yourself. You’re always in motion. But you decide every day: forward or backward.” – James Altucher
6. I became open to new ideas and concepts
In the process of being cracked wide open by life, I became curious, accepting and interested in different ideas, concepts and techniques.
Things like manifesting, consciousness, spirituality and other ‘strange’ ideas became my friends. After years of trying to create change via psychological means, effort, willpower and implementing traditional tools of personal development, I found my wheelhouse in the different.
Today I am grateful for my early adversity and my own persistence and determination. Without them, who I am today would have remained undiscovered and I wouldn’t get to do the cool stuff I do with other people. I am grateful for the amazing tools and information around today, which can make the journey so much easier.
What helps you keep moving when you feel like giving up? Let us know in the comments below!
Image courtesy of Twenty20.com
A popular meme reads: “I’m having people over to stare at their phones later if you want to come by…” It’s kind of funny in an alarming way since many people would consider walking barefoot across flaming hot coals before parting with their smartphones for a few weeks.
As useful as things like the Internet and mobile devices are, taking time to occasionally unplug is a good habit. Even if for no other reason than to develop your willpower and avoid being too heavily addicted to your wireless toy.
Consider the following three reasons for periodically unplugging from technology and taking a minute to smell the roses:
1. Face-To-Face Interaction
As useful as social media is for things like marketing, maintaining contact with old friends and sending messages across the world in the blink of an eye, there’s no substitute for a friendly meeting and a firm handshake.
There are few things in life that have more potential to increase our happiness than building good relationships with the people around us. Taking the effort to postpone the reading and answering of your latest text message in order to listen and offer attention to the person in front of you can be a great way to improve relationships and show people you care.
If you want a more practical and success-driven reason, then consider the fact that developing a healthy network is one of the most powerful ways to successfully grow your business or career. Spending a business lunch or golf game glued to your touchscreen is a lousy way to build that network.
2. Creative Thinking
Creativity is another powerful asset in your effort to expand your success, solve your problems and increase your happiness. Getting in the habit of frequent, diligent reading (an activity often performed with mobile devices) is essential in developing your creative capacity. In addition, investing alone time to occasionally take a step back to think, review options and consider possible solutions towards life’s struggles is a great quality.
Making a habit of doing so can be beneficial for planning your career, planning an exciting night out on the town with your spouse, planning how to discipline your teenager and plenty more.
“Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart.” – Mencius
3. Health Concerns
The health risks caused by electromagnetic frequencies (EMFs) are numerous and not to be ignored. Health damaging EMFs are emitted by various types of electronic devices including cellphones, tablets and laptops among others. Although pretending these dangers don’t exist may seem convenient, there’s nothing convenient about dealing with the consequences. Some have even suggested that cell phones may eventually prove to be as cancerous as cigarettes. Don’t believe me?
In the book ‘The Non-Tinfoil Guide To EMFs’, Nicolas Pineault writes, “A $25M study performed by the US National Toxicology Program (NTP) studied the effects of exposing rats and mice to an amount of cellphone radiation equivalent to what a human would get by talking for 30 minutes a day, for 36 years.
“As reported by Microwave News: ‘The exposed rats were found to have higher rates of two types of cancers: glioma, a tumor of the glial cells in the brain, and malignant schwannoma of the heart, a very rare tumor. None of the unexposed control rats developed either type of tumor.’
“The irony is the whole reason John Bucher, the senior manager of the NTP study, wanted his agency to run this study is to prove once and for all that cellphones do not cause cancer.”
Swearing off technology is probably not the most practical solution. (Although if that’s your thing, then rock on.) That said, occasionally taking a break from technology and spending some time in nature might help counteract some of the negative effects.
Bonus: Stress Reduction
With so many people in our culture complaining of excessive stress and/or taking antidepressants, it makes sense to proactively take steps to reduce stress before it builds up so much that you experience a nervous breakdown.
I don’t know about you, but when I get away from the computer or turn off my mobile device for a bit, I can feel the difference. If I’ve been working on my laptop or tablet for too long, then getting away and taking a break offers a noticeable relief. I almost immediately feel calmer.
If you’ve been on your phone/tablet/computer for a while, consider taking a few minutes after you finish reading this article to leave technology behind and catch a breath of fresh air.
“The more ways we have to connect, the more many of us seem desperate to unplug.” – Pico Iyer
Are you ready to build stronger relationships? Are you ready to proactively develop creative solutions? Are you ready to start preserving your health? Are you ready to leave some of that stress behind you? If so, then it’s time to fit a periodical unplug into your schedule. You might be surprised by how much this helps.
How many hours of the day do you use your phone? Are you being productive on it? Let us know in the comments below so we can help one another.
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Neha Mehra
Jan 27, 2015 at 11:30 am
Thanks Thai. Lovely post and whatever you have mentioned is absolutely right !
Dan Western
Nov 17, 2014 at 1:10 pm
Awesome post Thai! Keep up the good work!
Thai Nguyen
Nov 17, 2014 at 2:39 pm
Cheers Dan, likewise, keep up the great work on your end!
Rose Costas
Nov 16, 2014 at 9:28 pm
Thank you Thai for that great post. None of us can avoid being rejected, failing or losing but how we view losing, failing and being rejected differentiates us from each other.
Unfortunately we were taught from an early age that failing, losing and rejections are so bad that many times it is hard for people to recover.
We indeed need to become stronger and develop skin like that of the elephant more often so the pain and time it takes to recover is shorter and our perception and attitude more positive.
Thai
Nov 16, 2014 at 10:03 pm
You’re absolutely right Rose, we are conditioned from a young age. Hopefully this will encourage others to think differently. Wish you all the best!
Gabriel Do Carmo
Nov 16, 2014 at 12:51 pm
Awesome article. Very well written, love it
Thanks!
Thai
Nov 16, 2014 at 10:04 pm
Thanks Gabriel! Glad you enjoyed it.
Junriz A.
Nov 16, 2014 at 8:39 am
Great post. Failure is a good teacher.
Thai
Nov 16, 2014 at 10:04 pm
Thanks Junriz. Indeed, failure is a great teacher!