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We Have 60,000 Thoughts Each Day: Here’s How to Generate Thoughts That Matter

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This mind of ours never stops. Research shows that we humans produce some 60,000 thoughts each day. That extensive number of thoughts is an irrefutable consequence of our society’s obsessive need to be busy and distracted.

Many of our thoughts are anything but productive, and we do very little to regulate our mind’s rapacious activity. We allow our minds to be “future chasers” or “past dwellers.” They take us everywhere except for where it matters most — the present moment. 

We all have the ability to become more present, awake and aware. The challenge is training our minds to stop — really stop. The mind is prone to wander out of the present but we can train it to move away from the busyness in our heads through practicing Mindfulness. 

Practicing Mindfulness reins in our random thoughts and holds us in the present moment. We all have the inherent ability to utilize Mindfulness by going inward and focusing on our breath. As we stay focused on the breath, we connect to the present and are able to look more deeply into what we’re actually feeling in the moment. 

Mindfulness reminds us that we’re here in this moment of “now.” It’s a state in which we’re observing our life unfold and becoming better able to experience it with clarity and acceptance. It allows us to intentionally bring our wandering mind into the present, liberates us from our emotional baggage and gives us a more balanced perspective. 

With a Mindfulness approach to every moment, we find ourselves eating more slowly and really tasting our food without rushing. We make time for a leisurely walk while paying close attention to the sights, sounds and smells of nature around us. Taking the time to simply observe, we see so much more than when we’re busy thinking about what we have to do next. We open up to what resides in our hearts.

“Change your thoughts and you change your world.” – Norman Vincent Peale

Explore these ways to transcend limited thoughts and become more awake, present and aware: 

1. Stop the brain’s busyness

The mind likes to be busy. It thrives on activity and distraction. It’s incumbent upon us to teach it how to become quiet and still from time to time. When we feel distracted or that we’re not fully present, we can put our focus and awareness on the breath to find stillness. Using the breath as a type of meditation allows us to connect with the wholeness that’s within. We can experience that connection when we take a walk and observe nature, or when we sit quietly savoring a cup of tea. When we’re fully present and surrender to the moment with total awareness, we experience a sense of non-separation that makes us feel whole, complete and authentically ourselves. 

2. Navigate the moment with neutrality

Staying present in the moment can be challenging if we’re facing something daunting, difficult or unclear. Emotions such as anger or insecurity can make our minds race. But if we allow ourselves to open to challenging moments with acceptance, our resistance begins to dissolve. We can tell ourselves, “I can handle this moment. There’s nothing for me to fear.” We can direct the moment — meaning we can navigate it with neutrality — because we’re no longer constricting or reacting, but allowing for it to just be. Opening up to whatever challenges present themselves, instead of resisting them, helps us ease into those moments, learn from them and find what rings true for ourselves. 

3. Engage in “life gazing.” 

When we take the time to simply look around us, we see so much more than when we’re busy thinking about what we have to do next. We can practice being aware of what’s around us when we’re stopped at a red light and notice what’s out the car window. Or when we step outside and observe what’s taking place on the street. Balancing our daily routine of work, chores and running errands with taking present moment intervals to stop our minds from being on autopilot helps us to feel more alive and vital. 

4. Strive to elevate awareness

We often function from an unaware routine of simply going through the paces of our day. But by practicing Mindfulness, we’re able to live our lives in the moment that exists right now, fully aware and awake. Finding time to stop the “doing” and connect to our spiritual center will bring us to the inner dwelling of our wholeness, which, in essence, is the authentic self. Taking time to connect to and acknowledge our true selves helps us appreciate this precious gift of life. 

Ora Nadrich is founder and president of the Institute for Transformational Thinking and author of Live True: A Mindfulness Guide to Authenticity, named among the “top 18 books on what an authentic life looks like” by PositivePsychology and “one of the 100 Best Mindfulness Books of All Time” by BookAuthority. She is a certified life coach and Mindfulness teacher, specializing in transformational thinking, self-discovery and mentoring new coaches. Her new book is Mindfulness and Mysticism: Connecting Present Moment Awareness with Higher States of Consciousness. Contact her at oranadrich.com

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Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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