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A Letter To My Former Servant Self

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Dear Tim, I’m writing to remind you of your former servant self. Before we go on I have great news:

You will go from being the servant to the master one-day soon.

It may not look like it right now, but all of this struggle you have gone through will mean something. For you to be able to grow into the person that I know you are going to become, you must see the dark times. How can you talk about changing your life if you haven’t first done so yourself?

I know you may feel like you are reacting to everything around you rather than creating your destiny, but that’s because of your conditioning. Your circumstances and friends have conditioned you to believe that life happens to you.

Me – being your wiser self – knows that this way of thinking will disappear as you mature. Trust me. If you could see what I now see, you’d be impressed.

Tim make a commitment to change one thing

To go from being the servant to the master of your destiny Tim, you must first make a small change. This is where you always went wrong before. You tried to make humongous changes that made you feel overwhelmed. What happened next was that fear got the best of you.

“Fear became like a demon that always wanted to see you lose just as you were about to score from the three-point line, in the basketball match of your life”

It was like you were about to take the shot and then got crippled by a sudden illness that made you sick.

Having seen how this plays out Tim, I need you to start by making a small change first. Try these things:

1. Go for a short walk every day
2. Give up one small addiction like chocolate
3. Commit to 15 mins of reading per day

These activities may seem pointless: they’re not. You have to try a different strategy and start heading down a new path. These new habits are small so that you can’t possibly fail. What will happen over time is that they will become longer, more in depth and will lead to even more new activities.

Tim we all experience pain

Even Richard Branson has days where he can’t be bothered. It’s hard to believe I know. All of us have bad days where we look horrible, feel dreadful, or are uninspired. None of us are perfect and in fact Tim we are all broken in some way.

It’s this brokenness that makes us individual and shows the world our true beauty. Perfection is ugly! There I said it Tim and you may not have wanted to hear that. I’m here to tell you the truth and not sugar coat things for you. That’s another thing (sugar) that you’ll give up in the future, but shhh ☺

Put yourself out there Tim

You’ve hidden for so long Tim behind your so-called success. You’ve never revealed the struggle you’ve gone through and only shown people your good side. The thing is Tim that for you to go from being the servant to the master of your destiny, you have to share what you’ve learned.

I know you think your advice is dumb and I’m telling you that you’re wrong. I’m your future self remember so trust me on this point. Those things you called failure, those fears you have, all the things you didn’t try, the world is dying to hear about it. Why? Well because your fellow human beings have the same struggles and they want to know how and why you haven’t given up yet.

What you don’t realize is that you’re actually more successful than you think. There are plenty of other people who would have given up long ago or settled for a mediocre life. Even though you are going through a low point, you are not going to allow yourself to be happy with failure.

It’s this stubbornness that you thought was your weakness, which is your true gift. This stubbornness is going to lead you towards becoming obsessed with helping others.

Tim stop being selfish

One of the key reasons you are still a servant Tim and not a Jedi master is because you haven’t discovered the gift of why you were given life. Let me whisper it in your ear:

“You were put here to serve others”

That’s it, Tim. What you’ve done wrong up until now is only worried about yourself. By worrying about yourself, you’ve become obsessed with your own happiness. You’ve ignored everyone else’s feelings and dismissed everyone else’s thoughts.

You’re living in your own world which involves living full time in your head. Your head tells you lies and you listen to them because you only focus on yourself. It’s time to be brave Tim and go out into this world to serve someone other than you!

You are the reason you’re still serving as a servant rather than creating the masterful life you’ve always wanted. You haven’t been able to visualize an empowering future because there is no one in it to join you for the ride. What fun is a future without a team of people to enjoy the party with?

Tim, everyone around you is affecting the person you want to grow into

I know you think those cool kids around you are good for you, but they’re not. Every person in your life Tim is either contributing to your growth towards becoming a master or subtracting from it. To discover who you want to become you need to surround yourself with people who have done stuff.

Let me be more concise: you need to surround yourself with people that walk into a room and get a standing ovation for the outstanding person they have become. To start with, read some autobiographies of the greats in business, politics and sport.

Once you know what greatness looks like, go out and find people who demonstrate these values and accomplishments.

One of these people is going to become your mentor. The good news is they will help guide you. The bad news is they are going to make you work ten times harder and hold you accountable. You’re lazy when it comes down to it Tim so this will be good for you. No more Netflix and pizza every Friday.

Tim the answers don’t all reveal themselves at once

This journey from being a servant, to becoming a master Tim, is a road full of fog and hidden dangers. You’ll only ever be able to see clearly for a few hundred miles. The rest of the road will be hidden from your sight.

You’ll need a vision to help imagine it and then you’ll need to take action to uncover it. What you’ve always done poorly is tried to have all the answers before committing to a new goal. The thing is Tim you can’t pre-plan the entire future.

Stuff is going to get in the way and take you off course once in a while. These distractions will consistently make you check in with yourself to ensure you are putting your time into goals that light you up.

Embrace the detours because that’s where you will find some of the answers. You may even find love in these detours too. Don’t tell anyone I told you that buddy. That one’s just for you.

Tim, don’t forget about now

You want to know Tim what the difference is between the servant and the master? It’s the Zen state called right now. Living in the past and living in the future is a dangerous place to operate from. All that fear you and I know you have will be abolished if you come back to now.

That’s what you’ve been doing wrong all this time. You’re so focused on the past and the future where you can’t control what happens. By not being in control, you fall for the servant life.

Control of your life becomes possible again when you focus on right now. Add some meditation and you’re well on your way from leaving that servant life behind that you hate so much.

Tim, don’t settle for second best

When it comes to romance Tim, you’ve always settled for second best. Right at the start, you get told some impossible problem that a new partner has and you still signup to the pain that follows. Your intuition tells you to say no and find someone else, but you ignore it.

From now on, follow your intuition. If someone tells you something that makes you feel sick and it’s miles away from where you see yourself, don’t pass go and collect $200. There’s no hurry to find the right person even though you like being in love (we all do by the way).

Take a deep breath and find “the one” that makes your heart skip a beat. Find the girl that has the high set of values you are going to one day have for yourself. When that person appears, go all in, love them like you’ve never loved anyone before and show them you care.

Do nice things for them and keep doing those same things well beyond the start of the relationship. Tell them how you feel regularly and be grateful when you find the one. It will happen. I’m your future self remember?

So how does it end for you, Tim?

This is what you’ve been dying to know. I’ve shared all these wisdom bombs with you that have given you a glimpse into your future life.

Unfortunately, Tim, I can’t tell you everything because I need you to go through the failures, broken hearts, false promises, lies, cheating and so on, so that you can develop the armor you will need to become the master and not the servant.

I know that’s not the answer you were hoping for and that’s a good thing. It’s a good thing because I want you to get used to not getting exactly what you want. That’s what those Ivy League rich kids haven’t figured out yet: you don’t get everything you want just because you have lots of money.

You’ve got to earn your new master status and I’m here to tell you that your journey has started. Never give up. You’re gong to achieve wonderful things in your life that you could never have dreamt of. One day, you’ll be giving this advice to someone else. There’s a hint of the future right there.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared millions of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around personal development and entrepreneurship.You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net

Life

3 Simple Tips to Strengthen Your Emotional Intelligence for Better Relationships

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Relationships are challenging. They make you examine yourself from all angles, and that can be triggering. For example, have you ever had a friend or significant other say something that sparked an argument instantly—only to find out you misheard what they said in the first place? (more…)

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If You Want to Avoid Failure Once and for All, Ask Yourself These 4 Questions

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You just invested in yourself and in your business. You are taking massive action but the results are just not clicking yet. While everyone is making 10X, 20X, and even 100X ROI on their initial investment, you have made $0 return. Failure is starting to overcast your bright shining positive attitude and you are feeling the pain and shame of it. (more…)

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3 Simple Hacks That Can Recharge Your Willpower and Help You Perform Better at Work

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How many times did you wake up feeling like you could conquer the world? You set ambitious goals for the day, you put on your best attire and walked out the door with a big smile on your face but eventually, life took over. Traffic, emails, work, family, and everything else you have around slowly but steadily started to drain your energy and made you feel exhausted.

You run out of battery, and the only solution that seemed viable was to rely on more caffeine. When that stopped working, all the temptations around you started to look much more appealing, and that sense of drive and commitment you had before slowly faded away. This is you running out of willpower.

Willpower: what is it? Why is it limited?

The American Psychology Association describes willpower as “the ability to resist short-term temptations in order to meet long-term goals.” In the book “The Willpower Instinct”, Dr. Kelly McGonigal, explains how every person’s willpower is limited, and slowly depletes throughout the day. The more “willpower challenges” you face, the quicker your reserve drains. Dr. McGonigal divided the different types of willpower challenges you might encounter in three categories:

  • I will: We face this type of challenge whenever we should do something, but we simply don’t feel like getting it done right now.
  • I won’t: We face this challenge when we try to resist temptation, or we try to keep cool in stressful situations.
  • I want: This is a particular type of challenge where we keep track of our long term goals, dreams, and desires. In this instance, we feel like we should take action right now to come one step closer to the goal. 

It’s easy to recognize it when you face a willpower challenge because you literally “feel it in your body.” Imagine being really hungry and walking in front of a bakery. The sight and the smell of pastries quickly triggers an “I won’t” type of challenge, and it takes a severe amount of effort and energy to walk away.

Every time you manage to win one of those challenges, a little bit of your willpower reserve gets used. The more challenges you face daily, the harder it will be to stay true to your goals.

Can you train or recharge your willpower?

A growing body of research suggests that willpower should be considered a muscle. To strengthen it, you should exercise it regularly, but you should not overwork it. Therefore, we shouldn’t try to “be good” at all times. Instead, we should learn how to relax and recharge our willpower.

The general advice on how to improve willpower involves sleep, proper nutrition, and regular exercise. This broad and general recommendation is often not downright applicable by most, because it consists of changing various daily habits. Luckily, three very effective hacks have been discovered, that have an immediate effect on our willpower and take just a few minutes to apply.

Here are the 3 ways to refill your willpower reserves:

1. Focused breathing

Breathing, when done correctly, can stimulate the release of calming hormones while reducing the release of stress hormones like cortisol and catecholamines. To make this effective, you should deeply and slowly inhale through the nose for at least five seconds. Fill your belly with air first, then your chest, and when there’s no more space for air, still try to do tiny inhalations through the nose.

You should feel a pulling sensation around your neck and trapezius muscles. Once your lungs are full, try to hold the breath for five seconds, then slowly exhale through the mouth for at least five seconds. If you repeat this process ten to twenty times, you should feel dramatically more relaxed. Use this method several times a day, especially when you’re experiencing high levels of stress or anxiety.

2. Reward yourself when you accomplish a micro goal

According to a recent study, frequent instant rewards can boost motivation, and therefore, willpower. Creating your own reward system can help you to accomplish your to-do list, and also resist temptations. Since every individual has different tastes, you should come up with creative ideas about the small and frequent rewards you will give yourself upon winning any willpower challenge.

You can see this hack in practice in Apps like the popular Duolinguo, where after completing each lesson you get presented with a chance to open a treasure chest. This rewarding system seems to keep the users much more likely to keep learning new lessons.

3. Taking cold showers

Your body has an autonomic response to cold water. Getting into a cold shower is a difficult (but minor) willpower challenge on its own. As I previously mentioned, winning a willpower challenge strengthens your willpower muscle. Having a morning cold shower, on top of having multiple health benefits, will set you up for a positive winning streak of further challenges.

High performance is the sum of many small habits. Successful people don’t have an unlimited reserve of willpower, but they do have a set of daily rituals that made them succeed. These three hacks are some of the most effective techniques to develop willpower, but some of them may not fit every individual. You should try to find the perfect mix of daily practices that best fits your lifestyle and likes, so that you can strengthen your willpower muscle and perform better at work.

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3 Inspiring Lessons We Can Learn From Jim Carrey About the Law of Attraction

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You’ve more than likely heard of Jim Carrey before. Over the years, he has starred in many popular films including The Truman Show, The Mask, and Bruce Almighty (just to name a few.)

But his personality goes a lot deeper than just his comedic persona and movie star charisma. In fact, Jim Carrey is probably one of the most philosophical individuals on the planet

Although he isn’t in the spotlight as much anymore, throughout the years, he has credited his success and fortunes by applying the Law of attraction into his life. What’s even more inspiring is that Jim Carrey, like you and I, came from humble beginnings. No silver spoon or easy ticket. In fact, his family was very poor throughout his childhood. So what made him so successful in attracting such an extravagant and self-fulfilling life?

Here are 3 lessons you can learn from Jim Carrey when it comes to manifesting your dreams into a reality:

1. You Have To Take Action

You can’t just visualize then go eat a sandwich”, Jim Carrey says. It goes without saying that the law of attraction does require action. You cannot simply rely on visualizing and expect to see results, especially when it comes to manifesting desires that other people would like to achieve also. E.g. Careers, scholarships, competitions, anything that involves another individual.

Visualization and positive thinking are crucial when it comes to using the law of attraction, but you have to meet the universe halfway with the steps you take as well. We are physical beings that require physical steps to get physical results. The real key is to make daily plans/goals in order to get you closer towards achieving your desires. So after that sandwich, make sure start taking action toward your dreams!

This could be working on your hobbies or passion, applying for that dream job or studying to get better grades. As long as you are moving toward your goals then there’s no reason why it can’t happen. So get out there and kick some butt.

2. Double Down On What You Love

My father could have been a great comedian but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him, and so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant and when I was 12 years old he was let go from that safe job, and our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father. Not the least of which was that: You can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.”

If this story of Jim Carrey’s father doesn’t pull on your heartstrings and inspire you at the same time, nothing else will! This is such an undeniable life lesson that everyone needs to learn. A lesson to take risks, push comfort zones and go all-in on what you love doing. So if your dreams, hobbies or goals seem far fetched to the majority, then you are already beating the other 99%.

Be that 1% that’s willing to dream big and rise above the norm. Unfortunately, in today’s society, our ancestral instincts still rule our everyday life. Fear is one of them and controls the majority of our population. It’s scary to push comfort zones and try something new, the thought of failure is often paralyzing to many. But my question to you is, will you look back one day and regret the chances you didn’t take?

3. Keep Your Eye On The Prize

As far as I can tell, it’s just about letting the universe know what you want and working toward it, while letting go of how it comes to pass.” Holding onto every little detail when it comes to manifesting, can conjure up more harm than good. The reason is that the universe will deliver in ways you might not expect.

If you are too busy wondering when your desires will manifest, comparing yourself to others, or ignoring every sign that doesn’t look like your detailed plan you’ve written down, then you may be missing out on opportunities that are right in front of you! Your visualizations don’t have to be perfect, in fact, it’s better to just let go altogether and focus on the result itself rather than dwelling on every little detail. This doesn’t mean to simply forget about what you want but instead having the confidence it will happen in time. 

An example of this is when Jim Carrey wrote himself a check for 30 million dollars. The only detail he knew was that he would earn it through his acting career, and he did indeed achieve this goal! So make sure to tell the universe what you want, but try not to hold onto every little detail!

Jim Carrey is just another person like you and me, with his own personal ups and downs in his road to success. He is someone to look up to when applying the law of attraction in your life too. It doesn’t matter if your goals or desires are different because the core foundation will always stay the same. You can and will do this if you think, feel and act as if it will happen!

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