Success Advice

How to Stop the “I’m Not Enough” Mentality

Published

3 years ago

Apr 21, 2021

Image Credit: Unsplash

Have you ever felt inadequate? It turns out we’re not alone. Studies show that seventy percent of us suffer from Imposter Syndrome. The tendency to doubt our abilities and feel like a fraud was first observed by Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes in 1970. These two clinical psychologists found to their surprise that imposterism was most common in high performers.

Maya Angelou, the legendary poet, admitted, “I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.” Albert Einstein, whose name is synonymous with genius, confessed, “I am an involuntary swindler.”But why is this? Achievers tend to set loftier goals than the average person. As a result, they experience a disproportionate amount of failure, forcing them to face their shortcomings.

Thus if you feel “I’m Not Enough” voice in your head, you’re stepping up to a challenge. Use the techniques below to overcome your doubt:

Recognize If You Have It

The first step is to consider if you suffer from imposter syndrome or a short-term lack of confidence. The former is chronic; the latter is temporary. When starting a new career or endeavor where you lack knowledge or expertise, it’s normal to lack confidence. That humility can be valuable if it prompts you to get the help you need. But if you feel persistent inadequacy, even in areas where you’ve found success, it’s a problem. It’s diffuclt to objectively self-diagnose, so I recommend taking an online Impostor Syndrome Test to see if you’re at risk.

Personify Your Critical Inner Voice

Your inner critic is the subpersonality that judges and demeans you. Everyone has self-doubt, but this voice shouldn’t be ongoing and debilitating. It shouldn’t contradict facts and objective reality. The trouble is that most of the time, the voice sneaks under our radar. It manifests in a subtle hesitation to speak up or to introduce ourselves. Our critic can be so faint that we might question if it even exists.Don’t let it hide – personify your inner critic. How does it look and sound? What are the insidious ways that it tries to undermine you?

Consider the Impact on Your Life

Real change occurs when “should” turns to “must.” If you think you “ought” to get in shape, shore up your finances, or start dating again, you won’t. The work seems more painful than the consequences. But what if you flipped it around and started recognizing the pain of doing what you’ve always done? Consider how the imposter experience has held you back and kept you from the life you desire. What opportunities have you neglected? What experiences have you missed because you felt unworthy? What regrets might you have in the future if your life continues this way? The purpose of this reflection is to build an ironclad will to overcome impostorism.

“We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.” – Jim Rohn

Ask Yourself This Question

Once you’ve identified your inner critic, call it out. Let’s say it whispers in your ear, “You don’t know enough to get started.” Start by asking yourself: is this self-criticism genuine, and does it matter? Often, ignorance can be helpful when it’s paired with humility. It can lead to better questions, more listening, less preconceived notions. You also can typically learn things as you go. When I started my blog, I knew nothing about creating a website, marketing, or editing. If I had taken a course beforehand, I probably would have forgotten most of it. See how I reframed that weakness as a strength? The next step is to ask yourself: are my inner doubts productive? Even if the suspicions are valid, are they getting you any closer to your goals, or are they just noise?

Avoid the Perfectionism Trap

Impostorism is closely related to perfectionism. The perfectionist sets a near-impossible standard for themselves in most activities. It’s essential to do your best, but recognize that you’ll never be or do perfect work. If you can never pass your bar, you’ll look at every effort as a failure, creating a negative feedback loop. Your inner critic will chide, “I told you so. You’re not cut out for this.” Give yourself a break; allow yourself room to fail. Do that, and you’ll find that your fear of failure will start to subside. The excitement of learning and growth will take its place. Another technique is to focus on the process instead of obsessing on the product of your efforts. You can control your habits more than the end product.

“And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.” – John Steinbeck

Strengthen your Mind

If you wanted to get stronger, you would go to the gym and lift weights regularly. The same type of strength training works for our minds. Take time daily to visualize your success in the future as vividly as possible. It can also be valuable to cherish your past victories. Most of us reflect on what didn’t work out in the past; the tough breaks, the losses. Instead, think about the times you accomplished something hard for you at the time. It doesn’t have to be grandiose – it could be the first time you rode a bike or drove a car. Or perhaps you aced a difficult test, graduated from a challenging program, or got a promotion. The point is that you proved to yourself you could stretch beyond your limits, and so you can do it again.

Don’t Go it Alone

Remember earlier when I mentioned that 7 out of 10 people suffer from imposter syndrome? If you’re honest with yourself and others about this issue, they’ll likely empathize because they’re going through it too. They probably could use your help! Don’t hesitate to ask for help, and don’t wait to give it to others. Build a team around you that can support you and uplift you. There are plenty of places to find support: online communities, mastermind groups, mentoring circles. If you prefer 1:1 help, seek out coaches, mentors, and close friends. Hollywood glamorizes the lone wolf, a rags-to-riches hero that does it all themselves. It sounds cool, but no one succeeds alone. Every high achiever had a team that have helped them along the way, build yours.

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Chris Tubbs

Chris is an accomplished sales and business development leader with experience at companies like Microsoft, Salesforce, and Dropbox. He went from being kicked out of high school twice to earning an MBA at UC Berkeley, and from being a pack-a-day smoker and aquaphobe to marathoner and triathlete. He writes about self improvement for knowyourbest.com.

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How to Break the Cycles of Mediocrity and Manifest Your Greatness

There is no greatness without becoming and there is no becoming with authenticity

Published

4 weeks ago

Nov 16, 2023

Jamelle Sanders

Image Credit: Midjourney

In just a few weeks, we will be wrapping up 2023. Can you believe it? This year has been absolutely incredible for me.

I have seen amazing doors opened, new relationships formed and I am seeing dreams realized in my life. While this seems like the hallmarks of a great year, this has also been the most challenging year of my life. With all of the change happening in my life, I have been forced out of my comfort zone and challenged to grow in every area of my life.

I can truly say that I have made the most of my moments this year and I have used everything as a catalyst for maximizing my greatest potential.

As a revolutionary leader, I have the pleasure of consulting and advising leaders around the world to fulfill purpose, realize their greatest potential and make an impact.

I want to share some insights with you that will help you to break cycles of mediocrity and manifest your greatness.

Everything legal must come through the matrix

I am sure that some of you are wondering why I am using the term matrix. However, what you have to understand is that I am trying to make a highly complex spiritual principle practical to understand.

Regardless of your spiritual beliefs, every life has an origin and I believe that origin is divine and begins with eternity. You are birthed from eternity and into time to fulfill a unique purpose and assignment in your lifetime and generation.

The matrix is simply the portal or vehicle that brings something out of the invisible realm and into tangible form. The problem with much of the teaching today is that it excludes the matrix. We are told to believe that success is instantaneous and overnight.

Nobody talks about how a dream progresses through stages beginning with visualization and ultimately culminating in manifestation. Without a matrix or portal then everything that you attempt to birth and build will be illegal.

The matrix not only makes you legal but it gives you the authority and power to function as the greatest expression of who you were created to be.

Every matrix has an incubation process

While many people admire and respect me today, I remember a time when nobody knew who I was or the significance of my message. How did I get to where I am today? I got here through an incubation process.

In other words, everything that has been destined for your life is incubating and awaiting a set time of manifestation. The problem is that most people live their entire lives idle and never initiate the incubation process.

What do I meany by that? Most people are living reckless and very few people are living intentionally. I am amazed at the number of people I have conversations with that have no vision, goals or strategies for their lives. They show great promise and they have undeniable potential.

However, without development they will die with their dreams still in them.

Everything that has been destined for your life must be incubated and converted to become realities born to time.

“Visualize this thing that you want, see it, feel it, believe in it. Make your mental blueprint and begin to build.” – Robert Collier

You must give expression to that which is not yet born to time

When you think about a matrix or a prophetic incubation process, you have to understand that potential is often unrealized and untapped. In other words, your potential is in raw form and your potential cannot serve you as long as it is untapped.

The thing that makes me valuable is that I have the ability to convert potential into power. I have done it in my own life and I have empowered leaders around the world to do the same. How do you convert potential into power?

First, it is important to note that you have to perceive potential. If you cannot perceive your potential then you can never cultivate your potential. In addition, you must take the time to cultivate your potential. We often get excited about our capabilities; however, we never expand our capacity in order to realize our greatest potential.

In other words, the strength of your potential is only discovered through your willingness to stretch. The more we are challenged the more we are empowered to expand our capacity for greatness. Most of all, you must begin to express your potential. The expression of potential is different for every person.

For example, the expression of my potential is best demonstrated through the thoughts, ideas, products, services, books, etc.

For another person the expression of potential may look like a screenplay, artwork, sports, scientific discoveries, medical breakthroughs, etc.

Regardless of the form of expression, I know that you will live empty and unfulfilled until you make the decision to express your potential. The expression of your potential gives voice to your dreams, life to your vision, significance to your moments and activates your true power.

You must manifest your greatness

As a revolutionary thinker and leader, my work has impacted people around the world. I am grateful that my life is a source of empowerment to so many people. However, before anyone could ever benefit from my life, I had to make a non-negotiable decision to become who I was born to be.

I wish I could tell you that this journey is easy and that you will get there overnight. However, in a world that celebrates us for doing we are often criticized for being. As a result, I wasted a lot of time trying to be who other people wanted me to be instead of being who I was born to be.

There is no greatness without becoming and there is no becoming with authenticity. It is through our bravery to be vulnerable that we ultimately manifest our greatness. We do not bless the world by being a duplicate. We bless the world when we honor our difference. When you honor your difference you honor your potential.

Ultimately, your difference is how you manifest your greatness.

When you present anything but your authentic self to the world, you are playing small and you are robbing the world of your significance. Manifesting your greatness requires you to master your gifts.