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4 Ways You Can Build Up Your Belief While Hitting Rock Bottom




Happiness is a beautiful thing, but I guess you already found out, that everything worth having comes with some level of struggle and sacrifice. I bet you know those days when even a simple step can take up all your energy. Days where challenges predominate and moments when you feel your life is testing you on how much you can endure and face. How can you handle it and manage to win?

In the past, I thought that life was a win or lose game, depending on how lucky you are.  Since I came from a very humble environment where riches are only in movies, I partly believed that I am destined to lose.

As I was growing up, I couldn’t stand the fact that there are only chosen ones. And they weren’t. Life is a mind game and the best time you can test your strength and belief is when things hit the fan, and you have only two choices. You either give in or learn from those life lessons and move on.

Since many of us often wonder how to handle hardships and challenges better, I have listed 4 ways which can help you to stay still and have faith when all the odds are against you:

1. Change your perspective

I recently read a very short, but concise post which says that most of the pain we experience in life is created by our thoughts and what we think. How true is that? The size of your problems and difficulties is often determined by how you actually see them. Sometimes things aren’t that bad, but because of your interpretation and thoughts, you make it twice as serious.

Next time, before you diagnose your life as worst and hardest ever, check your thinking and make sure that it isn’t your mind tricking you. I am not trying to minimize your problems because some situations are truly challenging and we can’t overcome them with a blink of an eye, but sometimes panic and stress get us, and we tend to exaggerate.

2. Surround yourself with tons of love

Whether it is your loving family, your closest friends or your pet, go where love is. It may sound corny to many people since we hear it often, but love is the best and fastest healing power.

Think about it. When you get weak, and you stress out because of some tough times, you need some safe and positive place to recharge. When you surround yourself with people or other attributes of love which fulfills you, it will be easier for you to get up and clear the fog which caused you to lose sight of hope and belief.

“You are who you surround yourself with. I know that’s such a cliche quote, but it’s true.” – Selena Gomez

3. Make a decision and pass the test

At some point in life, you will face a situation where you must decide, right on the spot, how you are going to handle it. We call them challenges because they are supposed to challenge us, right? How would you know how far you can go if you never pass the test if you never fight? Life is about taking punches and giving punches in the form of overcoming difficulties with a winning attitude.

The next time, when you are faced with such a challenge, ask yourself one question: “What is this going to teach me and how can I use it to make my life better?” Keep in my mind that there are given situations which will test you and make you better. There is something in life you need to learn in order to grow. Nothing just happens. Take it as a benefit and keep going.

4. Your mind is your friend

No person or circumstances can destroy you as much as your mind if you don’t train it well. Any time or energy you put into building a healthy mindset will always come back with even bigger power to help you when you are falling. I bet you know from personal experience that your mind can either drive you crazy or make you the happiest person on Earth.

Since this article is about challenges, knowing what empowers you is key. The challenge is a feeling so find things that make you feel good, things that give you a better perspective on life. In my case, such thing is a good book. Books on personal development from Tony Robbins, Bob Proctor, Napoleon Hill, you name them. Any of these guys can always lift up my spirit and not just inspire me, but also give me practical tips on how to improve the situation I am in.

“You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.” – Andrew Murphy

Look, one bad day or a week or a month doesn’t mean your life is over. For you to learn, you need to be tested from time to time. Your mind, your spirit and overall attitude will decide what quality of life you are going to build. So, if life is trying to bully you, stand your ground and show who the boss is.

What ways do you build up your belief system? Leave your thoughts below!

Silvia Turonova is a mindset coach who teaches women how to develop more self-trust and inner confidence while learning how to bet on themselves. She hosts a podcast Courage Within You and is passionate about teaching others how to coach themselves. Get her free self-coaching worksheet here.



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The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.



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Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.



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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.



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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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