This week for me has been one of the toughest ever. Again I’m faced with a decision that is so tough I have been frozen in time. I can’t do anything else but think about this decision and wonder where the road will lead. It’s the first time I have had no idea what the answer is.
For a proclaimed self-help leader I should know it all right? I should understand what to do and what the right decision is to make. But I don’t! You’ve probably faced a similar predicament, or you may even be facing this challenge right now.
I’m here to tell you that it’s not over. Once you make this tough decision, you will hit rock bottom for a little while. Don’t worry though because no one stays in that dark, eerie hole forever.
From this frightening place is one of the greatest miracles you will ever experience; the miracle of beginning your life again from rock bottom. This process is like watching an eagle fly again after it’s injured its wings.
“The worst thing you can do is stay at rock bottom and not be the person you were created to be”
You’re here for a reason and so am I. We may not know what that reason is, but we have to continue to search and not give up.
Giving up is for suckers, and you’re not one of those. You may be flat on your face and have no strategy yet. That’s okay because the world is full of strategies. What you need is to agree that it’s time to make a new decision! Time to truly begin your life once and for all and be reborn again!
Here are 6 reasons why rock bottom is where your life begins:
1. At the bottom, you let go of everything
When you hit rock bottom, you let go of everything. You start again with nothing and get rid of all the stuff in your life that doesn’t make sense. It’s easy to become misguided and allow people around you to suck you into things that matter to them, but not to you.
For me, I have to let go of a fair bit of baggage in the coming weeks, and it’s all part of the process. This allows me to metaphorically refill my cup of life with new things that will be better than ever before.
We hold onto things in our life because we sometimes can’t bring ourselves to give them up. We think that we will feel a sense of loss, so we resist giving up what we love even though we sometimes know we have to. No one wants to be at rock bottom yet we all have to go there now and then.
It’s the way you think during this difficult time that will determine if you bounce back again. You get to write the words to the next chapter of your life, and the success you will or won’t have is dependent on your mindset. Feeling sorry for yourself is not going to help anybody including you.
2. Pain will make you take action
Unless you hit rock bottom, you are unlikely to have enough pain in your life to deal with your problems. Pain motivates you so much when you look at it from a distance. To climb back to the top of the mountain again you need pain to get you there.
Pain is the momentum and the motivation you’ve probably needed for most of your life. Fearing and dwelling on the moment of your rock bottom struggles will not make you happy again. It’s highly possible to come back from this difficult position quickly, but you have to embrace your pain to do so.
Don’t settle for second place and let that pain help you rise from the ashes again. All of the people that doubted you and hated you when you were at the top may be pointing at you and laughing. Who cares about them. Put on your boots, go outside, and go stamp in the mud rather than hiding from it.
3. Struggle is where it starts
The comfort zone of pizza, beer, TV shows and lack of taking action towards your dream is what’s got you to rock this new position of rock bottom in the first place. You’ve been blessed with struggle as a way for you to think differently about your problems and come up with an innovative solution.
The word innovation is not just for the fancy corporate’s to throw against the wall ten times an hour; it’s entirely possible to innovate on yourself. We can’t fix things that we can’t see, though. Being at rock bottom makes all of your problems, faults, and unhappiness come under the spotlight.
At rock bottom, you gain a new sense of clarity, and you develop the vision to see your life better than it is right now. Let’s face it, at rock bottom, all it takes is someone to smile at you and your life is already better than it was.
Asking yourself the question “Not again, why me” is not going to help your situation. I know I sometimes feel like rock bottom seems to get attracted to me more than anyone else but the facts are I embrace it and become aware of it.
Everyone else I know hides it and doesn’t want to even admit where they are at. This way of living is the true deception.
“Don’t lie to yourself and others; accept the struggle, get back on the horse cowboy, and go shoot some empty glass bottles again like you were five years old”
4. You need to be reset just like the economy
Every 7-10 years we go through what has become very well known to us all: a recession. The news stations shout out this phrase like Armageddon is approaching, like we’re all going to die. A recession is nothing more than a reset switch that affects the financial markets.
The stock market and real estate markets can’t go up and up forever. Every few years we need everything to go to hell so we can reset. Rock bottom in your life is no different. When you hit rock bottom, you are mostly just hitting the reset switch on everything you’re currently are experiencing.
Your mind more than anything needs this. If you have a recurring thought in your head like I do, that is stopping you from functioning, then you need to get it out of your head. Rock bottom is the tool we were given to reset ourselves just like our computer.
Rock bottom is a reset of all of your values, beliefs and current goals. It’s a chance to come up with a new vision for your life and find a new network of people to tap into. Nothing in nature stands still, and just like the Peace Lilly sitting next to me as I type these words, we must continue to grow. Civilization must continue to grow.
5. At the top, you forget so much
Being at the top of your game can make you forget pretty quickly how you got there. The best part is not being at the top; it’s the journey that you take to get there. It’s the journey where all the lessons are learned, and the momentum occurs.
What better way than to start a new journey beginning with this whole rock bottom period of your life. When you are surrounded by nothing but success you can become self-absorbed in your own BS and sense of worth. You can think you are Superman when really you are a nobody just like me.
For as long as I can remember, every time I’ve reached the top, I’ve forgotten the people that helped me get there and the hard work it took. This time I’m committed to appreciating even the worst bits, like this feeling of rock bottom that I have right now.
This is my second visit to rock bottom in six months to so I’m becoming a bit of an expert…haha. I’m not sure that is a good thing, but I’ll wear it as a badge of honor none the less.
6. Your gratitude increases 10X
The final point you need to comprehend about rock bottom is that it’s where your gratitude increases ten times if not, more. When you’ve hit the lowest point, any ounce of good feelings or positive input from people around you feels like you’ve just won one hundred million dollars.
Suddenly, that friend buying you lunch or that SMS from a work colleague makes you feel unstoppable. As you relearn how to be grateful for the little things again, you give yourself a valuable weapon in this battle we call life.
That’s because life is a battle and it’s not easy for any of us including me. It’s not meant to be a walk in the park, but it can be so much better when you appreciate all that is around you. The only sure fire way to come back from the point of rock bottom is to notice and reinforce your beliefs around gratitude.
There’s nothing better on a day of being at rock bottom than going for a walk in the park or sipping your favorite tea or coffee concoction. You realize that it’s not so much the big wins in your life, but all the small wins that lead up to the ultimate triumph that matter the most. Have you been to rock bottom? What was it like?
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(Part 2) Conquering the Impossible Space Between Where You Are Now and Where You Want to Be
I wrote a blog post based on a mini-series I did for my Subscribers on the Achieve the Impossible App and have packaged it up in two parts to share here. If you missed Part One, quick click here and have a read over that first before reading any further!
One of the first obstacles we’re going to face on this journey towards risk is one that often strikes a damaging blow to our pride and can sometimes take us to our knees. As you embark on this journey, I can almost guarantee that we will take a wrong turn from time to time, we will read the map wrong (I’ll take the hit, I’m the navigator – sorry!) which will send us off course.
When you’ve taken a wrong turn driving, what is your first thought? DAMN IT. (Yep, me too!) What’s your second thought? Is it ‘ahh, I’ve stuffed up. I’m gonna just pull over and sit here until either the roads and maps magically change in my favor or someone comes to rescue me?’ Or do we think ‘Ok, what’s the quickest way to get back on my path?’
When we stuff up, make a mistake, choose the wrong software, tell the wrong people or say the wrong thing, we don’t just pack up our dreams and hide. NO. We pick ourselves back up. We face the right direction (or what we believe is the right direction) and we MOVE FORWARD.
I don’t care if you start by walking one ginger step at a time, just start! Those small steps gain momentum and eventually lead to a jog, then before you know it, you’re back running!
Mistakes aren’t meant to end us, they are there to redirect us. Anytime you embark on an unknown journey you’re going to make mistakes.How you respond is the only thing I want you to focus on. Respond with reflection, movement and momentum in the direction of your dreams.
On our journey, we’re going to make mistakes and take wrong turns from time to time, but we choose to pick ourselves back up, and get back on that journey! We’re not staying stuck, we’re ‘running to risk’! As we get back on this journey, we’re going to need to make a decision to take action and invest in risk.
Sounds like I’m about to write a message on Warren Buffett’s worst nightmare. But that’s not the risk I’m talking about and it’s not the investing I’m talking about. Sleep tight, Warren. This risk I’m talking about is the thing that stands between you and your dream. The thing that you’ve told yourself is too strong, too powerful and too insurmountable to climb.
It’s often the case that the risk we perceive in our own minds is actually far greater than it truly is in reality. I remember as a child, visiting a museum and being fascinated by a scary looking dinosaur down the other side of the room. It looked ferocious and intimidating from across the room, and as I walked closer and closer, the dinosaur, through the magic of perspective, got bigger and bigger.
That’s where I feel we are at right now on our journey towards risk. We’ve identified the risk standing between us and our dreams, and we’re taking the tentative first steps towards it. As we step closer and closer to risk, it will look bigger. You’ll start to compare the size of it to you, and don’t be surprised if it grows each step you take. But, have faith.
The closer I got to the dinosaur, the bigger it became. I had a choice to let fear or faith determine my next steps. I continued walking step by step towards the prehistoric creature. Then something strange happened.
Yes, the closer I got to the creature, the bigger it became. But then something else came into the picture. The closer I got, the more detail I was noticing. What I thought were bone-crunching teeth were actually a matte white plastic, what I thought was impenetrable skin was old flaking greeny-brown paint. Those eyes that glared at you from across the room, were now nothing but big marble sized spheres of glass.
When we step towards fear, yes it gets bigger – but as we invest in faith and continue to live our lives in the direction of our dreams, we expose the master of risk…FEAR.
Invest in those extra steps this week as you get closer to risk to point out the finer details, you’re going to realise it’s not as scary as it once seemed. Those steps aren’t always going to come easy though, because the journey towards risk is an interesting one.
There’ll be times when you’re pumped full of Adrenalin, bashing down every obstacle that comes your way. There will be times where you’re cruising on a nice downhill slope, enjoying the scenery and wondering why it took you this long to convince yourself to get here!
Then there’ll be times when things aren’t easy. Just like my climb this evening up a little mountain by my home on the Sunshine Coast of Australia. I started out full of energy, pumped for the adventure ahead, then five minutes into the usually very achievable rocky steps, my legs started really feeling it.
“You’ll never know your strength until you’ve faced your struggles.”
The Adrenalin gave way to frustration, to fear and to my quickly draining self-belief in my fitness. I continued one painful step at a time. I wasn’t going the pace I normally would, but knew this mountain could be conquered one slow step at a time.
As I slowly neared the end of the steps, my legs were burning, my heart pounding and my mindset weakening. Two quiet words burst through my pain…
I’m pretty sure I’ve never said this going up the mountain before, but it seemed fitting. As I climbed one step at a time, ‘stay strong’ became my repeated mantra. After the season of pain and intentional mindset building, I reached the summit of the mountain and cruised my way back down.
There is such an incredibly untapped power within our self-belief and mindset, which shapes our self-talk. On your journey towards your risk, I can almost guarantee you’ll be faced with steps that seem too difficult, too challenging, too much to conquer.
Remember…’stay strong’. You’re on this path for a reason – you’re capable of completing it. You’ve come this far, see it through. Your ‘impossible’ dream is counting on you to conquer fear and run to risk!
This blog is based off the mini-series ‘Run to Risk’ first featured on the Achieve the Impossible App, accompanied by downloadable wallpapers and daily inspiring messages to inspire, challenge and equip you to achieve your impossible dream. Download the Achieve the Impossible App and start your free trial today!
(Part 1) Conquering the Impossible Space Between Where You Are Now and Where You Want to Be
Deep down, you know exactly what you are capable of. There’s even moments where you get a glimpse of all the potential you have. You can get there. You just have to be willing to sacrifice the habits, things and situations that are standing in the way of your success. I honestly believe “Running to Risk” has the power to unlock mindsets and belief systems that have been holding you back from your true potential (I’m naturally conservative so it’s big coming from me!)
Before we do something crazy and ‘run to risk’, let’s take stock of where we are today and our foundational beliefs in our potential and true capacity. In the day-to-day act of living, waking up, coffee, breakfast, school drop-offs, work, more coffee, home, homework, dinner, finish off emails, glass or two of (insert drink here), collapse on couch, Netflix etc. We can become disconnected with our true potential and capacity.
You are being pulled from all sides – your family, your boss, your colleagues, your partner, your friends, even your dog. You can be forgiven for prioritising the present over the future.
To set up this series on healthy and personal-capacity fuelled risk, I want you to invest a moment or two searching deep within yourself.
- What’s in your heart for 2019?
- What is one thing you would look back on come 31st Dec 2019 and be proud of your personal accomplishment?
- What’s something that scares you?
- What’s that one thing that has been on the back of your mind that you’d love to put your name to in your lifetime?
The answer to the above is the thing we’re going to focus on in part one of this post. We’re focusing on it because with every achievement that challenges our personal capacity and unlocks our potential, there will be an element of risk.
Risk Is Scary!
Risk stares you in the face from afar and says ‘don’t you dare approach. Don’t even try’. This is when you’re faced with a decision to make, and the best (and also worst!) thing about it is you’re the only one who can make it!
As you make this decision to ‘run to risk’, the regret of not running has to be stronger than your personal comfort. Your comfort must give way to your calling. Your present must give way to your potential.
Think about the one thing on your heart – the thing that helps you step into your calling and potential. The thing with risk looming all over it. Let’s build the strength, self-belief, courage, boldness and tenacity to ‘Run to Risk.’ But what about timing? I’m not sure if I should be pursuing my dream now.
“You can’t always wait for the perfect time. Sometimes, you have to dare to do it because life is too short to wonder what might have been.”
We’re not running to risk for a laugh and a good time, we’re running to risk because that dream in our hearts for 2019 is worth pursuing. When faced with the potential of risk, we often come up with thoughts and reasons to justify our lack of momentum or progress.
I don’t know how!
I don’t have the money!
I don’t have the connections!
But one of the most common excuses I hear (I know, because I hear it from myself) is a little sentence that has killed more dreams and crushed more souls than most. ’It’s not the right time’.
It’s one of the most powerful excuses because it bulldozes every other excuse by default. You’ll always meet more people, money comes and goes, but once time is gone, it’s gone forever. This excuse becomes our default without us even realising it.
I remember when I was wanting to launch a few online courses, a podcast and a book. (These are all my risks for 2019). But they were also my goals for 2017 and 2018. Sadly, I put my insecurities ahead of my identity and my convenience over my calling. Looking back now, each excuse I held to for not launching these projects was based on timing.
First, the IG algorithms were affecting posts, then someone else launched a podcast in my niche and gosh, I couldn’t do that! Next, as I was writing my IG Online Course, another one came on the market. Nope, can’t do that now. I’ll wait until the marketing heat dies down on that one. The exact same situation with my book launch…it just wasn’t quite the right time.
Here’s what I learnt and something I want to share with you, there’s never a right time to do the thing that’s on your heart. The right time will never simply show up, you’ve got the time, now it’s up to you to make it right!
Looking back, I’ve felt the pain of regret and don’t want to let the fear of risk lead to regret again. Now is the time to look risk dead square in the eyes and say ‘ready or not, here I come’. Yeah, the I could start now I guess…I know what I want to do and I kinda believe now is as good of time as any…I’m honestly not sure where to start.
“Never be afraid to try something new, because life gets boring when you stay within the limits of what you already know.”
Now It’s Time!
We’ve just told risk we’re coming for it. We’ve made the decision to put our calling over our comfort and choose to be lead by faith not fear. Now it’s the time to start. We’re starting right now because we have been given the time, and we’ve got complete power and control to make it the ‘right time’. We’ve made the decision to go after that thing that’s on our heart, the thing we’ve always wanted to do, the thing that has been too risky.
Not anymore. Today, we start.
There is huge power in the start. When we start, we have the luxury of being on home ground. We are making more decisions for ourselves, rather than having to make decisions based on responses which we will have to inevitably do down the road.
Today, we start.
We’re filled fresh with enthusiasm, passion and driven by our desire to accomplish something meaningful this year. Yesterday, we may have had a loss to our name, we may have stumbled and fallen…but you’ve picked yourself up.
Today, we start.
We look to the future with our heads held high, the hopes of a brighter future with that dream in our heart knowing that we are valiantly pursuing it despite the risk. We know our dream, we know we are capable of achieving it, we know we’ve got the time and today, we start.
We start the journey as we ‘Run to Risk’.This blog is based off the mini-series ‘Run to Risk’ first featured on the Achieve the Impossible App, accompanied by downloadable wallpapers and daily inspiring messages to inspire, challenge and equip you to achieve your impossible dream. Download the Achieve the Impossible App and start your free trial today!
It’s What You Do On A ‘Bad Day’ That Matters.
Last Friday was a bad day for me. I woke up late, missed the gym and didn’t meditate.
None of this was intentional.
I then turned my computer on to do what I do every day: blog. I was not prepared for the whirlwind that followed.
As I opened up my social media channels, there were a lot more than usual, direct messages. I started reading each one and they were from colleagues and friends who wanted to warn me that I had a large amount of hate-fuelled comments on social media. I’m usually pretty good at dealing with hate comments. Not on that day, though — I was having a ‘bad day.’
I turned off the computer and didn’t respond to anybody. In the same week, I’d been told I was now a LinkedIn Top Voice for 2018.
I should have been celebrating and I didn’t because I didn’t feel worthy. If anything, I wanted to give up there and then. Luckily I didn’t follow through with any of these ideas. I knew it was just noise in my awful day.
I went away to sit on the couch and think about what I’d just read. Without really thinking about what I was going to do for the rest of the day, I began thinking about my team at work. There were several leadership challenges that I had to solve.
One was from a customer that was being abusive to female staff. Another was a rejection I had to deliver to someone that wanted to work with us. The hardest part about delivering the rejection was that I’d already said yes.
Despite the day being bad, I made a fundamental decision — to keep doing what I do and not stop. I said to myself “How can I inspire people while simultaneously solving both these challenges?”
I’m a big believer that it’s not what you say that matters; it’s what you do. Talk is cheap. I came up with a bold plan to address both challenges.
I was going to do something that made me see the good in the people involved.
Even if the people in both situations had let me down, I was going to assume they were still good.
I concocted a plan to help both people and try and show them a more positive way to move forward. If I break down the plan, it was about being an inspiration in both situations.
I didn’t feel like being inspiring.
It was not the day to be inspiring.
But it was the only way I could motivate myself to finish off this bad day and wake up the next morning fresh. It’s funny how a good nights sleep takes away all the pain and negativity from the day before.
So, by the end of the day, I enabled both plans. I set out to release inspiration in both scenarios and that was my only focus. I didn’t look at anymore hate fuelled comments or go near social media.
On that bad day last Friday, my actions helped me keep moving forward and not give up.
It’s not about necessarily seeing the good in your bad day.
I’ve read this sort of advice heaps, but it requires a lot of willpower.
“Using your actions to make the day better rather than trying to think your way out of your bad day seems to be a lot easier to implement”
It’s not about the bad day.
Bad days will happen.
It’s what you do on a bad day that determines if you’ll feel the full effect of all the negativity that can potentially knock you out like a Tsunami that comes your way when all you wanted to do was lay on the beach and soak up some sun.
I’ve learned to find situations during a day that’s not working out well for me, to do something good, and often that’s not something that benefits me. If I was to look at it another way it would be “How do I not focus on my own bad day?”
Trying to make someone else’s day good distracts you from your own bad day.
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