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10 Principles to Harness Your Self-Confidence That Lives Within You

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self-confidence

Self-confidence is an evolutionary journey. It is the accumulation of experiences, new learning and fearlessness. Sometimes you may possess it and not even realize. Being conscious of your own powers and abilities is what allows you to think, speak and act purposefully. You tap into an inner strength and embody courage to succeed. Self-confidence is linked with success as you have more energy and your inspiration comes from within.

No one is immune to slip into bouts of doubt, insecurity and uncertainty, however, it is your choice if you allow it to dictate the conditions of your life. Insecurity plagues people consciously and unconsciously. While the fearful will agonize over decisions and make the safe choices, the confident leader will make the decision quickly and change their mind slowly.

Every time you express your opinion to the world, each time your stand for something you want or every time you take a risk to expand your unfamiliar zone, you are building your own reservoir of confidence which only you can access at any time you choose. It’s yours, you own it.

Self-confidence is a fundamental quality to leaders and it is where leadership grows. To build confidence, you must practice confidence.

Let’s embark on a quest for self-confidence and embody 10 principles to harness your self-confidence that lives within you:

1. Ultimate you

Your essence as a leader is independent of the opinion of others, feels above and beneath no one and is fearless of all challenges. When you embrace your true self, you know within that you can handle whatever happens in life with compassion and certainty as your self-worth is not tied to what others think of you. You purposefully step into being fearless and courageous in all things.

2. True masters, always the student

Allow yourself to be an avid learner. Acknowledge that it is okay not to be perfect, expand your own limitations and unfamiliar zones to step into starting something new. Lifelong learning separates those who will continue to rise in the fields from those who are content to just float along.

There is a concept in Zen Buddhism called “shoshin” or “beginner’s mind”, which means being open to learning more no matter what level of success you have achieved. When you approach your work with vigor, you work knowing there is always something new to learn.

3. Execution is the game

The ‘what if’ loop permeates the minds of many. Worrying, overthinking and anxiety create a state of paralysis in which you fail to act. When you do act, you own the consequences. The accomplishments or downfalls are the greatest feedback, gifts and experiences. When you detach from the outcome, execution is the decision where your confidence will grow.

4. Getting in the trenches

Building a surplus of experiences only results from putting yourself out there and taking risks. A disciplined practice and a commitment to growth enhances your self-confidence because “repetition is the mother of all skill” no matter the endeavor.

5. Practice presence

When you tap into your true self, you experience self confidence as your ground state. Through the practice of being present in the moment, the voices of doubt, indecision and fear soften to distant whispers. From this state, you tap into your internal resources as a platform for achievement and fulfilment.

Practicing mindfulness can have significant benefits for your physical and psychological well being. Notice your breath flowing and bring awareness to your other sensations – what you see, what you hear, what you smell, and taste.

Visualize your confidence in your mind’s eye by seeing yourself speaking on a stage or doing the activity for which you require more confidence. Allow the feelings of comfortable presence to pervade your body and mind.

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.” – Mother Teresa

6. Say ‘no’

Confident people know that saying ‘no’ is healthy. They own their ‘no’ with confidence as it is in alignment with who they are, their values and what they stand for. Saying ‘no’ to new commitments honors your existing priorities.

7. Knowledge breeds confidence

Tapping into mentorship boosts confidence. Accessing the knowledge, experience and wisdom of a person who has walked the path less travelled allows you to focus your energy more effectively and efficiently. Successful CEO’s continue to study from the masters. Whether it’s attending conferences, watching TED talks or engaging a mentor. By studying the best in your field, you can up your game.

8. What would Kanye do?

Confident people are not afraid to stretch their limits and set the bar high. Kanye West claiming to run for President in the 2024 elections should not be taken lightly as he strongly holds his belief in his own ability to succeed. Setting the bar too low or not acting will slowly but surely allow self-doubt to creep back in. Every time you find yourself holding yourself back, just ask yourself, ‘what would Kanye do?”

“You are now watching the greatest living rockstar on the planet.” – Kanye West

9. Deliberate practice

World-class titans don’t ever rest. Deliberate practice trumps natural talent. If you are unsure about your ability to do something, start by trying on the skills in a safe setting. Preparation builds confidence over time. Getting out of your own way by asking for help is confidence in learning. When you tap into your own value and how you can add value to others, confidence is no longer about self-promotion. You invest your energy and your being in how you can add value to another human being. It’s no longer about you.

10. Get your power pose on

Wonder Woman power posing has been all the rage over the last 5 years. Amy Cuddy, Harvard Psychologist, did a TED Talk and discussed how your body language governs how you think and feel about youself. For instance, commanding a powerful stance can make you feel more powerful. When you keep your body relaxed and open, your confidence starts to rise. A further academic paper published in 2018 by Cuddy, provided ample evidence that adopting an expansive posture makes people feel more powerful. Before your next interview, strike a power pose.

Confidence turns thought to action. Confidence is a building block in an impactful career and embracing it will take you places you never thought possible.

How do you increase your self-confidence? Let us know in the comments below?

Angela Kambouris used to work with high risk kids in the streets of Melbourne, now she has her own consultancy business and writes for large publications. As a leadership coach and business leader having spent over 20 years in the field of vulnerability and trauma, she has built a high-level career as an executive and transitioned into a business owner. She has spoken on stages and worked with thousands of people in self-development, leadership, mindset, human behavior and business. Love to travel, experience difference cultures and mastermind with leaders and expert authorities in personal development and business all over the world. Connect with her through her website http://angelakambouris.com/ or through her Facebook.

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2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. Cami

    May 16, 2018 at 2:39 pm

    I have noticed that every little decision you make towards becoming a better you is important. Two years ago I was in a bad place until I started soaking up every positive self help thing i could. Eventually my mind started replying to negative things with a positive and now i’m able to push myself forward a little more but you have to invest in yourself. Self confidence and happiness are constant decisions and you have to start somewhere.

  2. Jan Becker

    May 12, 2018 at 3:58 pm

    Taking action always leads me away from my fears. If I take action towards small goals I get a small boost of confidence and if I take action towards my biggest goals I get a big boost!

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3 Simple Tips to Strengthen Your Emotional Intelligence for Better Relationships

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Relationships are challenging. They make you examine yourself from all angles, and that can be triggering. For example, have you ever had a friend or significant other say something that sparked an argument instantly—only to find out you misheard what they said in the first place? (more…)

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If You Want to Avoid Failure Once and for All, Ask Yourself These 4 Questions

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You just invested in yourself and in your business. You are taking massive action but the results are just not clicking yet. While everyone is making 10X, 20X, and even 100X ROI on their initial investment, you have made $0 return. Failure is starting to overcast your bright shining positive attitude and you are feeling the pain and shame of it. (more…)

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3 Simple Hacks That Can Recharge Your Willpower and Help You Perform Better at Work

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How many times did you wake up feeling like you could conquer the world? You set ambitious goals for the day, you put on your best attire and walked out the door with a big smile on your face but eventually, life took over. Traffic, emails, work, family, and everything else you have around slowly but steadily started to drain your energy and made you feel exhausted.

You run out of battery, and the only solution that seemed viable was to rely on more caffeine. When that stopped working, all the temptations around you started to look much more appealing, and that sense of drive and commitment you had before slowly faded away. This is you running out of willpower.

Willpower: what is it? Why is it limited?

The American Psychology Association describes willpower as “the ability to resist short-term temptations in order to meet long-term goals.” In the book “The Willpower Instinct”, Dr. Kelly McGonigal, explains how every person’s willpower is limited, and slowly depletes throughout the day. The more “willpower challenges” you face, the quicker your reserve drains. Dr. McGonigal divided the different types of willpower challenges you might encounter in three categories:

  • I will: We face this type of challenge whenever we should do something, but we simply don’t feel like getting it done right now.
  • I won’t: We face this challenge when we try to resist temptation, or we try to keep cool in stressful situations.
  • I want: This is a particular type of challenge where we keep track of our long term goals, dreams, and desires. In this instance, we feel like we should take action right now to come one step closer to the goal. 

It’s easy to recognize it when you face a willpower challenge because you literally “feel it in your body.” Imagine being really hungry and walking in front of a bakery. The sight and the smell of pastries quickly triggers an “I won’t” type of challenge, and it takes a severe amount of effort and energy to walk away.

Every time you manage to win one of those challenges, a little bit of your willpower reserve gets used. The more challenges you face daily, the harder it will be to stay true to your goals.

Can you train or recharge your willpower?

A growing body of research suggests that willpower should be considered a muscle. To strengthen it, you should exercise it regularly, but you should not overwork it. Therefore, we shouldn’t try to “be good” at all times. Instead, we should learn how to relax and recharge our willpower.

The general advice on how to improve willpower involves sleep, proper nutrition, and regular exercise. This broad and general recommendation is often not downright applicable by most, because it consists of changing various daily habits. Luckily, three very effective hacks have been discovered, that have an immediate effect on our willpower and take just a few minutes to apply.

Here are the 3 ways to refill your willpower reserves:

1. Focused breathing

Breathing, when done correctly, can stimulate the release of calming hormones while reducing the release of stress hormones like cortisol and catecholamines. To make this effective, you should deeply and slowly inhale through the nose for at least five seconds. Fill your belly with air first, then your chest, and when there’s no more space for air, still try to do tiny inhalations through the nose.

You should feel a pulling sensation around your neck and trapezius muscles. Once your lungs are full, try to hold the breath for five seconds, then slowly exhale through the mouth for at least five seconds. If you repeat this process ten to twenty times, you should feel dramatically more relaxed. Use this method several times a day, especially when you’re experiencing high levels of stress or anxiety.

2. Reward yourself when you accomplish a micro goal

According to a recent study, frequent instant rewards can boost motivation, and therefore, willpower. Creating your own reward system can help you to accomplish your to-do list, and also resist temptations. Since every individual has different tastes, you should come up with creative ideas about the small and frequent rewards you will give yourself upon winning any willpower challenge.

You can see this hack in practice in Apps like the popular Duolinguo, where after completing each lesson you get presented with a chance to open a treasure chest. This rewarding system seems to keep the users much more likely to keep learning new lessons.

3. Taking cold showers

Your body has an autonomic response to cold water. Getting into a cold shower is a difficult (but minor) willpower challenge on its own. As I previously mentioned, winning a willpower challenge strengthens your willpower muscle. Having a morning cold shower, on top of having multiple health benefits, will set you up for a positive winning streak of further challenges.

High performance is the sum of many small habits. Successful people don’t have an unlimited reserve of willpower, but they do have a set of daily rituals that made them succeed. These three hacks are some of the most effective techniques to develop willpower, but some of them may not fit every individual. You should try to find the perfect mix of daily practices that best fits your lifestyle and likes, so that you can strengthen your willpower muscle and perform better at work.

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3 Inspiring Lessons We Can Learn From Jim Carrey About the Law of Attraction

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You’ve more than likely heard of Jim Carrey before. Over the years, he has starred in many popular films including The Truman Show, The Mask, and Bruce Almighty (just to name a few.)

But his personality goes a lot deeper than just his comedic persona and movie star charisma. In fact, Jim Carrey is probably one of the most philosophical individuals on the planet

Although he isn’t in the spotlight as much anymore, throughout the years, he has credited his success and fortunes by applying the Law of attraction into his life. What’s even more inspiring is that Jim Carrey, like you and I, came from humble beginnings. No silver spoon or easy ticket. In fact, his family was very poor throughout his childhood. So what made him so successful in attracting such an extravagant and self-fulfilling life?

Here are 3 lessons you can learn from Jim Carrey when it comes to manifesting your dreams into a reality:

1. You Have To Take Action

You can’t just visualize then go eat a sandwich”, Jim Carrey says. It goes without saying that the law of attraction does require action. You cannot simply rely on visualizing and expect to see results, especially when it comes to manifesting desires that other people would like to achieve also. E.g. Careers, scholarships, competitions, anything that involves another individual.

Visualization and positive thinking are crucial when it comes to using the law of attraction, but you have to meet the universe halfway with the steps you take as well. We are physical beings that require physical steps to get physical results. The real key is to make daily plans/goals in order to get you closer towards achieving your desires. So after that sandwich, make sure start taking action toward your dreams!

This could be working on your hobbies or passion, applying for that dream job or studying to get better grades. As long as you are moving toward your goals then there’s no reason why it can’t happen. So get out there and kick some butt.

2. Double Down On What You Love

My father could have been a great comedian but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him, and so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant and when I was 12 years old he was let go from that safe job, and our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father. Not the least of which was that: You can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.”

If this story of Jim Carrey’s father doesn’t pull on your heartstrings and inspire you at the same time, nothing else will! This is such an undeniable life lesson that everyone needs to learn. A lesson to take risks, push comfort zones and go all-in on what you love doing. So if your dreams, hobbies or goals seem far fetched to the majority, then you are already beating the other 99%.

Be that 1% that’s willing to dream big and rise above the norm. Unfortunately, in today’s society, our ancestral instincts still rule our everyday life. Fear is one of them and controls the majority of our population. It’s scary to push comfort zones and try something new, the thought of failure is often paralyzing to many. But my question to you is, will you look back one day and regret the chances you didn’t take?

3. Keep Your Eye On The Prize

As far as I can tell, it’s just about letting the universe know what you want and working toward it, while letting go of how it comes to pass.” Holding onto every little detail when it comes to manifesting, can conjure up more harm than good. The reason is that the universe will deliver in ways you might not expect.

If you are too busy wondering when your desires will manifest, comparing yourself to others, or ignoring every sign that doesn’t look like your detailed plan you’ve written down, then you may be missing out on opportunities that are right in front of you! Your visualizations don’t have to be perfect, in fact, it’s better to just let go altogether and focus on the result itself rather than dwelling on every little detail. This doesn’t mean to simply forget about what you want but instead having the confidence it will happen in time. 

An example of this is when Jim Carrey wrote himself a check for 30 million dollars. The only detail he knew was that he would earn it through his acting career, and he did indeed achieve this goal! So make sure to tell the universe what you want, but try not to hold onto every little detail!

Jim Carrey is just another person like you and me, with his own personal ups and downs in his road to success. He is someone to look up to when applying the law of attraction in your life too. It doesn’t matter if your goals or desires are different because the core foundation will always stay the same. You can and will do this if you think, feel and act as if it will happen!

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