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3 Powerful Ways to Boost Your Self Confidence When Things Go South

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There will be multiple times in your life where you feel the entire weight of the world on your shoulders. Things won’t go your way, you will lose friends, clients and a sense of who you are. But that comes with the territory of being an entrepreneur. Even some of the most powerful individuals deal with self doubt. Many face the imposter syndrome at some point.

However, the true test of an entrepreneur is how they bring themselves back in the game when things don’t go their way. What type of person do you become when your back is against the wall? Do you give up? Do you thrive under the pressure?

How do the most successful entrepreneurs go through hell and somehow manage to snap back into the game? They play the cards they were dealt with as if it was the hand they wanted, but most importantly, they had the confidence in themselves that no matter what they were going through, they were going to make it out.

“Life is ten percent what you experience and ninety percent how you respond to it.” – Dorothy M. Neddermeyer

I recently interviewed one of the most successful entrepreneurs I know who’s shared the stage with business legends such as Tony Robbins, John Maxwell & Phil Knight. Ed Mylett is a massive serial entrepreneur who’s been interviewed by people like Lewis Howes, Grant Cardone and Matt Manero and is a peak performance coach for some of the top athletes in the UFC and in the NFL.

Here are 3 things I learned about dealing with self confidence:

1. Learn From Someone Who Has a Great Track Record

One of the main reasons why personal development doesn’t work is because of who’s teaching. There’s many people in the online space now who can teach something that they’ve never even done before, it happens all the time. However, the way to avoid that is to do your due diligence and find someone that has a proven track record of not just personal development – but enough life experience.

It’s tougher to teach someone what to do in a certain position if you’ve never even been in that position before. So first things first you need to find the right person to learn from. This will be one of the biggest game changers in your life since you’re not learning from an unreliable source.

2. Self Confidence Comes From Self Trust

Confident people are self trusting people. One of the key ingredients in self confidence is self trust. The same reason you should learn from someone who has a great track record is the same reason you should be confident in yourself.

If you have a track record, why should you doubt yourself? You’ve done it plenty of times before right? It’s nothing new. You’ve proven it time and time again, therefore there’s no need of convincing. If you feel like you have imposter syndrome, it’s because you’re not grounded in who you are as a person and in your abilities.

Is it normal to have doubts? Of course, it happens to everyone. But Tony Robbins says that when successful people are in a funk they don’t stay there. Other people stay in that downward spiral because they don’t know how to get out of it. Personal Development starts with keeping the promises you’ve made to yourself.  

“You are the only person on earth who can use your ability.” – Zig Ziglar

3. Don’t Get Addicted to Other People’s Opinions

One of the reasons you may not have self confidence is because you let your mind be controlled and attacked by other people’s opinions of you. One of my favorite sayings is that “water can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship.” This means you can only let the negative opinions of others get to you if you give them any value.

In this era it’s so easy to get consumed by what other people think because of social media. It’s all about the likes, how many selfies you can get…etc. However these short term bursts of approval will eventually govern your life. You will start to live your life based on approval from others instead of where true fulfillment comes from and that’s yourself.

How do you boost your confidence when things aren’t going well? Comment below!

Copywriter, persuasion enthusiast, published author, public speaker, and travel lover is the best way to describe Cole VanDeWoestyne. Cole's fascination with persuasion started almost a decade ago where he first began selling Cutco Knives. It didn't take long for Cole to move his way to Beverly Hills where he was the marketing director for the McLaren dealership for a short time before branching off and starting his writing agency where he has networked with the world's top copywriters, content writers, marketing experts, and storytellers. He's the writer behind many 8 and 9 figure entrepreneurs and has even ghostwritten in a handful of best-selling books. Cole has one goal: Make the world a better place by helping others tell their story. You can follow Cole on social media @Colevandee or on his website Colevandee.com.

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7 Comments

7 Comments

  1. Derek

    Apr 2, 2018 at 4:51 pm

    Thanks for giving a motivation tip. Having confidence is very important. It is very informative. keep sharing!!

  2. SirPhren

    Mar 27, 2018 at 9:13 pm

    You nailed the topic sir! Whenever I feel down, I try to bring to memory all those inspirational quotes have read and also talk to a friend.

    Hope to see more!

  3. Amir Ayaz

    Mar 19, 2018 at 1:11 pm

    Hello,
    I went through this post and must say it looks very good!
    I’m also interested in this topic and have recently started my journey as a young entrepreneur. I’m also looking for the ways on how to promote my website. Can you recommend something that works best for you?

    Regards
    Amir Ayaz

  4. shubham Gupta

    Mar 16, 2018 at 1:34 pm

    Great share, mate. When I feel low I just remember all great achievements which I had conquered instead of tough situations. It enables me to assign a value to my true potential.

    Just believe in your true potential because you’re the only source of your inspiration, eventually, things will be smoother.

  5. Victor

    Mar 15, 2018 at 4:41 am

    Nice article, self confidence is very important to life but i have a question, Can too much self confidence become a problem to the individual?

  6. Aaron Force

    Mar 9, 2018 at 6:16 am

    You are so right— if we let other people into our heads our confidence will flat-line. This is a great reminder to be resilient against the opinions of others. Great article, Cole, and I look forward to more!

  7. Julie

    Mar 8, 2018 at 1:01 am

    No pity parties here! I mentally shift my thoughts to a place that gives me strength to get the funk out and GO… prayer is a big part of it , higher power … I also think of 7 things I’m grateful for and that’s a shift in itself 🙏🏽

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3 Simple Hacks That Can Recharge Your Willpower and Help You Perform Better at Work

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How many times did you wake up feeling like you could conquer the world? You set ambitious goals for the day, you put on your best attire and walked out the door with a big smile on your face but eventually, life took over. Traffic, emails, work, family, and everything else you have around slowly but steadily started to drain your energy and made you feel exhausted.

You run out of battery, and the only solution that seemed viable was to rely on more caffeine. When that stopped working, all the temptations around you started to look much more appealing, and that sense of drive and commitment you had before slowly faded away. This is you running out of willpower.

Willpower: what is it? Why is it limited?

The American Psychology Association describes willpower as “the ability to resist short-term temptations in order to meet long-term goals.” In the book “The Willpower Instinct”, Dr. Kelly McGonigal, explains how every person’s willpower is limited, and slowly depletes throughout the day. The more “willpower challenges” you face, the quicker your reserve drains. Dr. McGonigal divided the different types of willpower challenges you might encounter in three categories:

  • I will: We face this type of challenge whenever we should do something, but we simply don’t feel like getting it done right now.
  • I won’t: We face this challenge when we try to resist temptation, or we try to keep cool in stressful situations.
  • I want: This is a particular type of challenge where we keep track of our long term goals, dreams, and desires. In this instance, we feel like we should take action right now to come one step closer to the goal. 

It’s easy to recognize it when you face a willpower challenge because you literally “feel it in your body.” Imagine being really hungry and walking in front of a bakery. The sight and the smell of pastries quickly triggers an “I won’t” type of challenge, and it takes a severe amount of effort and energy to walk away.

Every time you manage to win one of those challenges, a little bit of your willpower reserve gets used. The more challenges you face daily, the harder it will be to stay true to your goals.

Can you train or recharge your willpower?

A growing body of research suggests that willpower should be considered a muscle. To strengthen it, you should exercise it regularly, but you should not overwork it. Therefore, we shouldn’t try to “be good” at all times. Instead, we should learn how to relax and recharge our willpower.

The general advice on how to improve willpower involves sleep, proper nutrition, and regular exercise. This broad and general recommendation is often not downright applicable by most, because it consists of changing various daily habits. Luckily, three very effective hacks have been discovered, that have an immediate effect on our willpower and take just a few minutes to apply.

Here are the 3 ways to refill your willpower reserves:

1. Focused breathing

Breathing, when done correctly, can stimulate the release of calming hormones while reducing the release of stress hormones like cortisol and catecholamines. To make this effective, you should deeply and slowly inhale through the nose for at least five seconds. Fill your belly with air first, then your chest, and when there’s no more space for air, still try to do tiny inhalations through the nose.

You should feel a pulling sensation around your neck and trapezius muscles. Once your lungs are full, try to hold the breath for five seconds, then slowly exhale through the mouth for at least five seconds. If you repeat this process ten to twenty times, you should feel dramatically more relaxed. Use this method several times a day, especially when you’re experiencing high levels of stress or anxiety.

2. Reward yourself when you accomplish a micro goal

According to a recent study, frequent instant rewards can boost motivation, and therefore, willpower. Creating your own reward system can help you to accomplish your to-do list, and also resist temptations. Since every individual has different tastes, you should come up with creative ideas about the small and frequent rewards you will give yourself upon winning any willpower challenge.

You can see this hack in practice in Apps like the popular Duolinguo, where after completing each lesson you get presented with a chance to open a treasure chest. This rewarding system seems to keep the users much more likely to keep learning new lessons.

3. Taking cold showers

Your body has an autonomic response to cold water. Getting into a cold shower is a difficult (but minor) willpower challenge on its own. As I previously mentioned, winning a willpower challenge strengthens your willpower muscle. Having a morning cold shower, on top of having multiple health benefits, will set you up for a positive winning streak of further challenges.

High performance is the sum of many small habits. Successful people don’t have an unlimited reserve of willpower, but they do have a set of daily rituals that made them succeed. These three hacks are some of the most effective techniques to develop willpower, but some of them may not fit every individual. You should try to find the perfect mix of daily practices that best fits your lifestyle and likes, so that you can strengthen your willpower muscle and perform better at work.

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