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5 Action Packed Ways to Build Audacious Self Confidence



self confidence

Confess it, you are as shy as the moon. Whether it’s an office presentation or a wedding toast, you jitter, sweat, and blush as you grapple with the overwhelming  fear of acting foolish.

You try to fix the problem, you bury your head in the sand, and wish your lack of confidence away but no luck. You even create silly little excuses; ‘Introverts are not confident’ and use them to justify avoiding the spotlight by any means.

But sooner than later, you realize that on your road to achieving any worthwhile success, you are bound to be in that spotlight a lot. You are forced to wonder; ‘How can I beat shyness and be extremely confident?’

Here are 5 steps that will light up your path:

1. Avoid the common mistake

Most people make the common mistake of believing the myth that confidence is a luxurious character trait only a few lucky people are blessed with. That is far from the truth. In reality, confidence is only a state of the mind.

Sounds liberating? If not it will in a minute and here is why: the state of being confident is only a state of the mind or what you would call – a feeling. Like joy or sadness any person with a sane mind can experience feeling confident.

The task is to programme your mind to be confident. To do that, you have to first change your attitude. You have to reject that self inflicted curse that you cannot be confident. Make the commitment now to change your attitude. Start with the affirmation ‘Confidence is only a state of being and I can be the most confident person in the world if i want to.

“The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.” – Blake Lively

2. Bury those bodies and be free

Can you recall 3 events from your childhood where somebody that wasn’t you was utterly humiliated? Pretty difficult right? It’s not that no such events happened but life has moved on. Now, can you recall 5 events where it was you who was embarrassed? I bet devastating memories of humiliation are gushing through your mind.

It is natural for people to bear the excruciating weight of negative past experiences and re live them in their minds but doing this significantly crushes self confidence. Your job is to bury those heavy bodies of negative memories. They make your confidence stink.

Approach each incident of your past like a caring mother would approach her child. Treat yourself with compassion. Make peace with the event by realizing how much stronger it has made you and how much you have grown.

3. Access your hidden power

There is a hidden power that guarantees results and maximizes your chances of becoming more confident. Before we unveil it, let us first take a little trip. Take a trip of the mind to an imagined reality where you meet your most confident self. Describe this marvel of nature. How do you conduct yourself? How do you talk? How do you smile?

Note down any little detail you observe and make the commitment to transport that distant self into this current reality by acting as if you are him/her. Do so, and you will tap into the hidden power that guarantees success.

You will begin to embrace the true power of visualization. This in turn, will have monumental effects in conjuring up your infectious confidence. Go ahead, imagine yourself in your awesome state, take notes and act as if it your imagination is real. As long as you persist, it will become real sooner than you expect.

4. Be the ray of sunshine for someone else

How many times do your desires, goals, fears or frustrations drift your mind into trains of thought in a day? Once? Twice? Can’t Count?

People are naturally self centered. We constantly worry of, plan for, dread and desire things for ourselves on a daily basis. Most times, dying for a distraction from the monotonous and sinister cycle (that is why TVs sell).

Become the break that we are all dying for. Treat every single person you meet with care and concern. Genuinely ask about their day. Listen to their worries and reason with them. Perform little random acts of kindness, provide comfort through conversations, ease life with your bright smile and many will genuinely appreciate you.

Very soon, people will automatically smile from the sight of your face or the sound of your name. Imagine the impact of that on your self esteem.

“The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.” – Terry Mark

5. Clean up the clutter

Just as you wouldn’t leave weeds growing out in the garden, you must not let negative self talk foster in your mind. Clean up the piled up clutter of I can’t and replace them with empowering positive self talk.

Serve your body so that it can serve you. Cleanse it up by leaving the junk to the garbage, it only slows you down. Infuse a healthy dose of greens and oranges into your diet and snack with nuts. Replace coffee with tea and sugar with honey and drink loads of water. Take long brisk walks and very soon you will be glowing with energy and confidence.

The role of the most confident person ever is always open and the perfect candidate is you. Although it does require some patience, practice and persistence, once you consistently apply yourself, the staggering benefits of glory, accomplishment, self-mastery and ultimate success will be yours to enjoy for a lifetime.

How do you build your self confidence? Please share your thoughts below!

Mohammed Bello is a professional copywriter that creates engaging content to drive massive amounts of customers to small and medium businesses. Go to his website at or follow him on Twitter.

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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