Confess it, you are as shy as the moon. Whether it’s an office presentation or a wedding toast, you jitter, sweat, and blush as you grapple with the overwhelming fear of acting foolish.
You try to fix the problem, you bury your head in the sand, and wish your lack of confidence away but no luck. You even create silly little excuses; ‘Introverts are not confident’ and use them to justify avoiding the spotlight by any means.
But sooner than later, you realize that on your road to achieving any worthwhile success, you are bound to be in that spotlight a lot. You are forced to wonder; ‘How can I beat shyness and be extremely confident?’
Here are 5 steps that will light up your path:
1. Avoid the common mistake
Most people make the common mistake of believing the myth that confidence is a luxurious character trait only a few lucky people are blessed with. That is far from the truth. In reality, confidence is only a state of the mind.
Sounds liberating? If not it will in a minute and here is why: the state of being confident is only a state of the mind or what you would call – a feeling. Like joy or sadness any person with a sane mind can experience feeling confident.
The task is to programme your mind to be confident. To do that, you have to first change your attitude. You have to reject that self inflicted curse that you cannot be confident. Make the commitment now to change your attitude. Start with the affirmation ‘Confidence is only a state of being and I can be the most confident person in the world if i want to.‘
“The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.” – Blake Lively
2. Bury those bodies and be free
Can you recall 3 events from your childhood where somebody that wasn’t you was utterly humiliated? Pretty difficult right? It’s not that no such events happened but life has moved on. Now, can you recall 5 events where it was you who was embarrassed? I bet devastating memories of humiliation are gushing through your mind.
It is natural for people to bear the excruciating weight of negative past experiences and re live them in their minds but doing this significantly crushes self confidence. Your job is to bury those heavy bodies of negative memories. They make your confidence stink.
Approach each incident of your past like a caring mother would approach her child. Treat yourself with compassion. Make peace with the event by realizing how much stronger it has made you and how much you have grown.
3. Access your hidden power
There is a hidden power that guarantees results and maximizes your chances of becoming more confident. Before we unveil it, let us first take a little trip. Take a trip of the mind to an imagined reality where you meet your most confident self. Describe this marvel of nature. How do you conduct yourself? How do you talk? How do you smile?
Note down any little detail you observe and make the commitment to transport that distant self into this current reality by acting as if you are him/her. Do so, and you will tap into the hidden power that guarantees success.
You will begin to embrace the true power of visualization. This in turn, will have monumental effects in conjuring up your infectious confidence. Go ahead, imagine yourself in your awesome state, take notes and act as if it your imagination is real. As long as you persist, it will become real sooner than you expect.
4. Be the ray of sunshine for someone else
How many times do your desires, goals, fears or frustrations drift your mind into trains of thought in a day? Once? Twice? Can’t Count?
People are naturally self centered. We constantly worry of, plan for, dread and desire things for ourselves on a daily basis. Most times, dying for a distraction from the monotonous and sinister cycle (that is why TVs sell).
Become the break that we are all dying for. Treat every single person you meet with care and concern. Genuinely ask about their day. Listen to their worries and reason with them. Perform little random acts of kindness, provide comfort through conversations, ease life with your bright smile and many will genuinely appreciate you.
Very soon, people will automatically smile from the sight of your face or the sound of your name. Imagine the impact of that on your self esteem.
“The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.” – Terry Mark
5. Clean up the clutter
Just as you wouldn’t leave weeds growing out in the garden, you must not let negative self talk foster in your mind. Clean up the piled up clutter of I can’t and replace them with empowering positive self talk.
Serve your body so that it can serve you. Cleanse it up by leaving the junk to the garbage, it only slows you down. Infuse a healthy dose of greens and oranges into your diet and snack with nuts. Replace coffee with tea and sugar with honey and drink loads of water. Take long brisk walks and very soon you will be glowing with energy and confidence.
The role of the most confident person ever is always open and the perfect candidate is you. Although it does require some patience, practice and persistence, once you consistently apply yourself, the staggering benefits of glory, accomplishment, self-mastery and ultimate success will be yours to enjoy for a lifetime.