Life
The 3 Happiness Assassins and What You Can Do to Control Them
We all have those nights when we are suddenly wide awake and thinking about a problem or something we fear may happen. Fear is the ringleader of the gang of three known as the Happiness Assassins: Doubt. Worry. Circumstantial evidence. It is not just in our sleep we must watch out for this group of hoodlums. They lurk around corners waiting to pounce at all hours of the day.
The “assassins” are simply a part of our thought process. It takes some self-awareness to realize that our thoughts are not necessarily the truth, but we go through life mostly presuming what we think is true. Beliefs are nothing more than firmly held opinions born out of a thought – yours or someone else’s.
Unsupervised, our mind is like a big foster home taking in anyone who knocks on the door. I’d like you to consider that not all thoughts deserve our full attention. We have every right to pass on the ones that don’t serve us. Too often, we invite them in way past their usefulness. My rule of thumb is if you don’t play nice, go away.
We are rarely without thought. People who claim to have trouble meditating often refer to the issue as having a “monkey mind.” Meditation is not being without thought. Thoughts are as automatic as breathing or digestion. The idea is to control them when they come knocking.
Before we take those assassins out, one by one, know that there is nothing that is not subject to individual interpretation. A tree doesn’t occur to a painter as it does to an expert on rainforests, or even a firefighter. A squirrel has an entirely different take on the subject. Nevermind art, music, politics, and law. Interpretation is rampant. To recognize it as such is to relax the need to be right on most subjects.
Below are the three happiness assassins:
1. Worry
Worry is a future based version of interpretation. It takes us out of the present moment and is powerful enough to change our moods, cause us to miss out on the present moment, react defensively, and make us sick. It is hope turned inside out. It dresses itself in gloom. Our antidote to worry is to use your imagination. Imagine the best outcome. Or if you can’t let it go, put your mind somewhere else entirely.
“Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment.” – Dale Carnegie
2. Doubt
A common question many of us have asked ourselves at one time or another is “Am I good enough?” That is a question filled with doubt and so unspecific as to be unanswerable. We inherit not trusting ourselves based on other people’s opinions or a past experience. But at some point, we must take control of our lives, our self-talk.
Confidence isn’t a real thing. It’s a stand we take. It’s as easy to take a leap of faith as it is a leap of doubt. Doubt makes us curl inward, not trusting our path or ourselves. Kill off doubt with action. If you doubt something you want to happen will come to pass, do something to make it happen. If I think my boss is going to berate me because of this month’s metrics, I could proactively come up with a plan on how we will excel in the future.
Confidence and proactivity are what moves the needle. How do you become confident? Act thusly. Ask any actor who is freaking out before walking on stage.
3. Circumstantial Evidence
Also known as acting “out of context,” we jump to conclusions based on partial information. Some of it is silly and some is very harmful. Silly: I thought the man in the mirror was flirting with me in an exercise class. It turns out his weights were too heavy. He was grimacing. Harmful: A police officer shoots someone in a red jacket moving quickly away from the scene of a crime because the officer was told the suspect was in a bright color coat.
“As you think, so you become…..Our busy minds are forever jumping to conclusions, manufacturing and interpreting signs that aren’t there.” – Epictetus
If You Are Going to Lie Awake
I hope what keeps you up at night is joyful anticipation. I hope what keeps you up at night is crafting solutions and knowing that you can be freer than you have ever known by being in positive action and showing the assassins the way out before they get in.
How do you overcome constant worry, doubt, and jumping to conclusions? Share your tips with us below!
Life
9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World
Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.
Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.
Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”
But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.
Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.
Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.
1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse
As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.
Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.
Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:
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Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.
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Read quality literature in your free time.
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Nurture a strong relationship with your family.
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Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.
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Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.
The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.
2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay
You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.
If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.
3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome
Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.
You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.
The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.
4. Rejection Is Never Personal
Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.
Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.
5. Women Value Comfort and Security
Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.
Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.
Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.
6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons
A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.
Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.
Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.
7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form
Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.
It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.
If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.
8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise
Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.
Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.
Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.
9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams
One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.
That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.
Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.
Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.
Final Thoughts
The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.
Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.
Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.
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Why Daily Rituals Matter
Every great achiever has one thing in common: discipline. Behind the novels, inventions, discoveries, and masterpieces are small, consistent habits repeated daily. (more…)
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It’s about having control over your money and not letting money control you.
The 21st century has brought incredible opportunities but also new challenges. Rapid technological change, global uncertainty, and shifting lifestyles have made many people think more deeply about financial freedom. (more…)
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