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5 Secret Essentials To Having A Confident Mindset

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confident mindset
Image Credit | Joel Brown

Being confident takes effort. It is a state of mind that fluctuates as we react to our circumstances, mood, physical health, and a whole host of unknown subconscious factors.

My life’s work is about understanding how to maintain this powerful mindset. Based on the theory that true ‘happiness’ is really about feeling self-confident, I have devised all sorts of ways to build and maintain high self-worth.

Here’s a few things to help you maintain yours.

 

UNDERSTAND THAT ‘victim’ is a mindset, nothing more, nothing less

As my coach Jacob Sokol says, you can either be a Victim or a Creator. The choice is always yours.

In working with offenders I quickly learned something fascinating: they do not choose victims at random. They are in fact attracted to victims. How can that be, when some people are victims for the first time?

Because being a Victim is not defined by having something bad happen to you. It’s about thinking of yourself as a victim. Here’s a fairly simple question that will determine whether you are a Victim or a Creator:

Do you believe life generally happens to you, or do you believe that you create your life?

Explore how you react to life. Do you see yourself surrounded by opportunities? Do you feel like you can handle whatever comes your way?

Or, do you see yourself as being the subject of luck and circumstance? Is it just a matter of ‘playing the hand you were dealt’?

Victims are powerless. If you want power, you need to stop being a victim. And nothing in your life will change that, you have to change it yourself.

Try living for a month by the motto “Everything that happens to me is for my benefit, and is my responsibility to manage” and see how you go.

 

Try to give rather than get

Most people try to get things out of life. This is the quickest way to push the things you want out of your reach. I wish someone had explained this to me when I was younger.

In order to “get”, you must give. And you must give fully, with no condition or expectation of reward. Try to think of life as deal in VALUE.

To receive value, you must first give it. Make giving value the goal of every interaction. When you are talking to someone, ask yourself “How I can give this person the opportunity to leave here better than when they came in?

This does NOT mean people-please. When you people-please, you are not giving, you are trying to get. Get liked. Get friends. Get approval. Get a reputation as the Nice Guy.

Giving is about ensuring that the person receives what they want, not what you want. Ask before you give help. Ask permission to serve others. Expect nothing in return.

You will be rewarded. This reward will not be what you think you want, but it will be what you actually need. You’ll just have to trust me on this one.

 

Mindset Picture QUote
 

Doing it all by yourself is pointless

As a perfectionist people pleaser (what a mouthful), I used to try and do it all myself. And because I was hardworking and clever it worked OK… sort of.

Little did I know, I was missing out on amazing things because of my pride and inability to be vulnerable. I had to struggle and fight for every little bit of success, for every inch of progress.

Then one day I was promoted to Service Manager and was put in charge of a team of people for the first time. I quickly settled into my old pattern of doing it all myself, as well as trying to do everyone else’s work for them as well.

Not surprisingly, I completely burned out.

I decided to let go and start allowing others to support me. This is when I was subjected to another epiphany: teams are greater than the sum of their individual parts. 10 people collaborating can achieve things that 30 people working on individually would struggle to achieve.

And I didn’t miss out on anything. In fact, the more recognition and delegation I gave to the team, the better I felt. They loved me more as a leader when I allowed them to be in charge of the good stuff, rather than hogging it all to myself.

When I later became a full time coach I reverted back to my old ways, mostly because I was working alone. Then, when Michael Wells approached me to start Brojo, I opened up to the idea of collaboration again. Thank God I did that!

I suck at technical stuff, design and organising venues. I’m an artist, I like to create and perform. Michael was 10x better at all that stuff than me, and without him this thing might never have started.

Let go of your pride and let other people help you. You’re denying them pleasure by keeping it all to yourself. You’ll end up getting more out of it than you ever expected, and certainly more than you can do alone.

 

Slow the hell down

Mindfulness is now one of the most central concepts in my life.

I have learned that true bliss comes from being present, curious and aware of what is happening in real-time. There is a time and place for mentally drifting, such as getting creative or planning, but for the most part confidence comes from the simple joy of being present.

We are all so damn BUSY. We thrive on busyness as a coping mechanism to avoid boredom. People are busy from the moment they wake, all the way through the work day, until the moment they sleep. They go a million miles per hour and without even being aware of what they are doing.

People even have busy holidays. I once went on a one-month vacation tour of the USA for a leisure holiday, and most of our group were just on the go, all day every day. It was exhausting to watch them from the comfort of the lazy, unplanned holiday the rest of us were having.

You can do more with less. Rather than doing a billion things a day, do what’s important and do it well. Figure out what actually matters to your goals. Most stuff doesn’t, but we keep ourselves busy with crap to avoid the uncomfortable stuff that does matter.

Try this: no chores for a week. No internet social media scrolling. No socialising with people you don’t adore. Spend a week only doing the important uncomfortable things, and SLOWLY participate in life rather than rushing around.

Soak it all in – you only ever get to do anything once. Enjoy it.

 

Vulnerability Is Invincible

For too many years I hid everything negative about myself. My anger, my dislikes, my disagreements, and mostly, my weaknesses.

It was like dragging around a massive concrete ball. Constantly having to be hypersensitive to what I was saying and revealing. I treated conversations like defusing a bomb; with the utmost care and concern.

As I started building my confidence, I experimented with disclosure. I started slowly but tentatively revealing the darker aspects of myself. This was one of the hardest things I have ever done.

The result shocked me.

None of the bad things I thought would happen actually came to fruition. Instead, I was met mostly with love, understanding and sympathy. People seemed to like me more when they learned about my weaknesses. They certainly appreciated the honesty and shamelessness.

When you are completely vulnerable, when there are no secrets left, you become invincible. No one can use your weaknesses against you, because it’s all out in the open. It’s like having someone trying to bluff you in poker when you can see their cards.

For some reason it really inspires others. You gain instant trust and affection from people when you open up. This does not mean complaining or unloading your trauma on them. It just means being honest when you don’t know what to do, when you doubt yourself, and when you have feelings of shame about your behaviour.

Just remember: everyone else has these problems too. If you can be bold enough to reveal it, you will help others find peace with their own darkness.

Dan is a lifestyle and success coach, with his own company The Inspirational Lifestyle Ltd. He lives in Auckland, New Zealand, and loves to share his advice and opinions on how to attain success. Make sure you checkout more of Dans articles at: TheInspirationalLifestyle.com

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Entrepreneurs

The Brutal Truth About Entrepreneurship with ADHD (And Why Most Advice Is Making It Worse)

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Image Credit: Joel Brown - Addicted2success

You’re not lazy. You’re not undisciplined… and you’re definitely not broken.

You’re an entrepreneur with ADHD, and right now you’re probably sitting on 19 unfinished projects, 47 open tabs, and a brain that feels like it’s running on 12 different radio stations at once.

You’ve read the books. You’ve tried the planners, the Pomodoro timers, the accountability groups. You’ve even hired coaches who promised to “fix” your focus. Yet here you are — brilliant ideas, massive potential, and a business that still feels like it’s one step away from collapsing under the weight of your own mind.

Here’s what almost nobody in the entrepreneurial space will admit:

The real struggle isn’t your ADHD. It’s that you’ve been trying to run a neurodivergent brain inside a neurotypical business model — and then beating yourself up when it doesn’t work.

Most advice for entrepreneurs was written by people whose brains work differently. They preach consistency, routines, long-term planning, and steady execution like those things are universal truths. For the ADHD entrepreneur, those “truths” feel like trying to swim upstream in cement. You can force it for a while (and you have), but eventually your brain rebels, the burnout hits, and you’re left feeling like a failure who just needs to “try harder.”

That cycle is quietly destroying more talented founders than cash flow problems or bad hires ever could.

The deeper layer most people never reach is this: your ADHD isn’t a bug in the system. It’s a different operating system entirely. And when you stop trying to install Windows on a Mac and start building everything around macOS, the game changes completely.

The Hidden Addiction That Keeps ADHD Entrepreneurs Stuck

You already know the surface symptoms — time blindness, rejection sensitivity, starting strong and fading fast, shiny object syndrome.

But the real trap is more insidious.

It’s the addiction to chaos and novelty.

Your brain is wired for dopamine. New ideas, big visions, last-minute sprints, high-stakes pressure — these things light you up like nothing else. The boring, repetitive, systems-building work that actually scales a business? It feels like torture.

So unconsciously, you keep your business in a state of controlled chaos. You say yes to too many things. You chase the next exciting opportunity. You avoid building the boring infrastructure because “I work better under pressure anyway.”

And every time the pressure gets too high, you crash, swear you’ll get organized next quarter, and repeat the cycle.

Meanwhile, the neurotypical advice keeps telling you to “just build better habits.” As if your brain is a poorly trained dog that needs more discipline instead of a high-performance race car that needs the right fuel and track.

This isn’t a character flaw. It’s neurology.

And until you stop treating your wiring as something to overcome and start treating it as your greatest strategic advantage, you’ll stay stuck in the same exhausting loop.

The Identity Shift That Changes Everything

The entrepreneurs with ADHD who finally break through don’t “fix” their brains.

They redesign their entire business to work with their brains.

They stop trying to become the consistent, routine-loving founder the gurus talk about. Instead, they become the architect of a system that leverages their natural strengths — hyperfocus, pattern recognition, creative problem-solving, relentless drive under pressure — while outsourcing or automating everything that drains them.

This is the layer most ADHD entrepreneurs never reach because it requires something terrifying: accepting that you are never going to be “normal” at entrepreneurship… and that’s exactly why you can win bigger than most.

Your ability to see connections others miss. Your tolerance for uncertainty. Your capacity to go all-in when something lights you up. These aren’t liabilities. They’re unfair advantages in a world that rewards speed, creativity, and bold moves.

The shift is simple but brutal:

Stop trying to manage your ADHD. Start designing your business around it.

How to Actually Build a Business That Works With Your Brain

  1. Stop fighting your energy cycles — weaponize them. Most ADHD entrepreneurs try to force 8-hour focused days. That’s insane. Instead, track when your brain actually works best (for many it’s 10pm-2am or random 4-hour hyperfocus bursts). Build your schedule around those windows. Protect them like gold. Do the deep, high-leverage work then. Use the low-energy periods for admin, calls, or recovery.
  2. Build “chaos containers,” not rigid systems. Traditional project management tools feel like cages. Create loose but effective structures that give your brain freedom. Use tools like Notion with massive flexibility, or body-doubling (working alongside someone virtually), or even hiring a “chaos wrangler” — an assistant who thrives on turning your scattered ideas into executable plans.
  3. Turn your rejection sensitivity into rocket fuel. That intense fear of letting people down or looking stupid? Channel it into creating ridiculously high standards for your customer experience or product quality. Use it as fuel instead of letting it paralyze you.
  4. Outsource the parts that make you want to die. The execution, follow-through, and maintenance phases are where most ADHD entrepreneurs lose. Hire or partner with people who love the details. Your job is vision, strategy, and big swings. Let someone else own the spreadsheets.
  5. Create external pressure on your own terms. Deadlines and public commitments work wonders for the ADHD brain. Use them strategically — announce launches, create beta groups, or work with coaches who understand neurodivergence instead of fighting it.

The entrepreneurs with ADHD who are quietly crushing it right now aren’t the ones who finally became “disciplined.” They’re the ones who stopped apologizing for how their brain works and started building empires that are specifically engineered for it.

They have teams that handle the boring stuff. They have systems that flex with their energy instead of fighting it. They’ve turned their “flaws” into the exact reasons their businesses stand out.

Your ADHD brain is not the enemy. The enemy was trying to play the game by rules that were never designed for you.

The moment you accept that and start designing everything… your calendar, your team, your offers, your processes — around how you actually operate, the struggle doesn’t disappear… but it becomes manageable, even exhilarating.

You were never meant to fit the mold. You were meant to break it and build something better.

The world doesn’t need another cookie-cutter entrepreneur. It needs the chaotic, brilliant, all-in, slightly unhinged visionaries who can only operate at full power when the game is built for them.

That’s you.

Stop trying to fix yourself. Start building the business that was always meant to be run by a mind like yours.

Your next breakthrough isn’t going to come from working harder or being more consistent. It’s going to come from finally giving yourself permission to work differently.

And when you do that? Watch what happens.

The same brain that once felt like a curse becomes the exact reason your business becomes unstoppable.

You’ve got this. Not despite the ADHD. Because of it.

If you want to learn more from me or send me a personal message I’ll respond to you on Instagram at https://instagram.com/iamjoelbrown speak soon!

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Health & Fitness

The Health Planning Habits That Support Long-Term Success

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Image Credit: Joel Brown - Addicted2success

Most people think about health planning only when something forces them to.

A medical bill arrives unexpectedly. An insurance issue appears during treatment. A diagnosis changes how future care needs are viewed. Suddenly health planning becomes urgent instead of preventative.

The problem is that long-term health stability is usually shaped by smaller habits built quietly over time, not just by major decisions during emergencies.

That includes physical health habits, of course, but it also includes how people approach insurance coverage, preventative care, financial preparation, and long-term healthcare planning before problems become immediate.

The families who navigate healthcare stress most effectively are often not the ones avoiding every issue entirely. More often, they’re the ones who built systems early enough to make difficult situations feel more manageable later.

Consistency Matters More Than Perfection

A lot of health advice still revolves around extreme change.

Perfect diets. Aggressive routines. Complete lifestyle overhauls.

In reality, most long-term health success comes from consistency people can realistically maintain for years instead of months. Small preventative habits tend to matter more than dramatic short-term efforts that collapse under pressure.

That principle applies financially too.

People often spend more time researching investment strategies than understanding their healthcare coverage or preparing for future medical costs. But healthcare instability can disrupt long-term financial plans surprisingly quickly when households are unprepared for how expensive even routine care can become over time.

The practical side of health planning is becoming harder to separate from overall financial planning now than it used to be.

Preventative Planning Reduces More Stress Than People Realize

One overlooked benefit of health planning is emotional stability.

People who understand their coverage, maintain preventative care routines, and think ahead about healthcare decisions often describe feeling less overwhelmed when unexpected situations happen. The goal is not eliminating uncertainty entirely. That’s unrealistic.

The goal is reducing how chaotic healthcare decisions feel under pressure.

That’s one reason broader conversations tied to healthcare and health insurance have expanded significantly over the last several years. Rising costs, changing coverage structures, and increasing healthcare complexity have made long-term planning more important for average households than many people expected.

Healthcare is no longer something most families can comfortably approach reactively forever.

People Underestimate How Quickly Healthcare Costs Compound

One reason health planning habits matter so much is that healthcare costs rarely arrive in one dramatic moment alone.

More often, they build gradually:

  • recurring prescriptions
  • specialist visits
  • ongoing treatment plans
  • insurance deductible increases
  • long-term care considerations
  • unexpected procedures layered on top of existing expenses

Families often absorb these costs incrementally until they realize how much financial pressure accumulated over time.

That gradual buildup is part of what makes proactive planning valuable. People who think ahead about coverage structures, emergency savings, provider networks, and preventative care tend to adapt more smoothly when healthcare needs eventually increase later in life.

The difficult part is that many households delay these conversations because they feel healthy right now.

Healthcare Decisions Have Become More Complicated

Another challenge is that healthcare systems themselves continue evolving quickly.

Insurance structures change. Telehealth expands. Employer-sponsored benefits shift. Prescription pricing fluctuates. Patients now carry more responsibility for understanding deductibles, provider networks, and out-of-pocket exposure than previous generations often did.

That complexity creates decision fatigue.

Even relatively organized households sometimes feel uncertain about whether they’re making good healthcare choices because the systems themselves are difficult to navigate confidently. A lot of current health insurance trends discussions reflect this larger issue, healthcare planning is becoming less about isolated medical events and more about long-term sustainability across entire households.

People want predictability, but healthcare systems increasingly feel harder to predict.

The Most Effective Health Habits Usually Feel Boring

One thing people rarely admit is that good long-term planning habits are often not particularly exciting.

Scheduling preventative appointments. Reviewing insurance annually. Building emergency savings slowly. Staying physically active consistently. Maintaining realistic routines instead of dramatic cycles of burnout and reset.

None of those habits feel dramatic at the moment.

But over long periods, they create stability that becomes incredibly valuable once life gets complicated. The people who navigate healthcare stress most effectively are often the ones who built ordinary systems early instead of waiting for perfect motivation later.

That applies financially and physically at the same time.

Why Long-Term Success Depends on Adaptability

Health planning is ultimately difficult because people’s lives keep changing.

Careers shift. Families grow. Aging parents require support. Medical needs evolve. Financial priorities change over decades in ways nobody predicts perfectly in advance.

That’s why the strongest long-term health planning habits are usually flexible rather than rigid.

The goal is not building a flawless plan that never changes. It’s creating enough structure, awareness, and preparation that future adjustments become manageable instead of overwhelming.

Most people cannot control every future health outcome. They can, however, build habits that make uncertainty easier to navigate when it eventually arrives.

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Life

Why Moving to a New City Can Change Your Mindset

Discover how moving to a new city boosts neuroplasticity, builds resilience, and reshapes your mindset

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How relocation changes your mindset

Relocation is always a challenge. Rebuilding and restarting your life requires you to step outside of your comfort zone. (more…)

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Change Your Mindset

The Hidden Reason You Can’t Stay Consistent

If motivation keeps failing you, the real issue isn’t discipline. It’s the identity shaping your habits and long-term success.

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Identity-based habits

Success often looks like a time-management problem. You buy a planner, set reminders, and hope that next week will be different. For a few days, it works. Then stress hits, motivation drops, and old patterns return. (more…)

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