Connect with us

Life

10 Ways to Avoid Being a Yes Man

Avatar

Published

on

Stop being a Yes Man

Do you stop what you are doing to assist a coworker with advice or a problem? Do you answer your phone on the first ring…every time? Does your schedule look like a tangled web of events that all blend into one giant mess? Do you always feel tired and can comfortably say you are “burning your candle from both ends?

If you answered yes to all of these questions, then you are the epitome of a yes man. Last time I checked, “yes man” is not in suffix category on an application; therefore, it’s not a term that should define you.

Essentially, a “yes man” is a people-pleaser. You tend to always put others’ needs before you own, at your own expense. It’s not a glamorous job. Unfortunately, becoming a people-pleaser is actually a dangerous path, as it can affect your physical, mental and social well-being.

We have probably said yes more than enough times and it has caused us stress. However, if you feel that you are saying “yes” without even blinking an eye like Jim Carrey, maybe it’s time to reevaluate how you view your options.

Say no. Easier said than done, right? If you want to change how you live your life, start by making your own decisions.

Below are 10 great ways to start you on the path to your own success and happiness.

 

The Power of “No”: 10 Ways to Avoid Being a Yes Man

 

1. The Power of Choice

Many people struggle with addiction. Believe it or not, saying yes to everything is also an addiction. Often times, our guilt, fear and anxiety rule our minds when we say no. It’s like going through a sort of withdrawal. You crave the need to please everyone, no matter the cost.

Much like coping with an alcohol addiction, the first step is recognizing that you have a problem. In this case, recognize that you have a choice. You can say “yes” or “no.” Instead of feeling trapped, consider other options and weigh what is best for your well-being.

 

2. Know Your Priorities

Put yourself first. This may seem like a selfish notion, but in actuality, you are practicing living a healthy lifestyle. Consider what the most important thing for you to focus your energy on and give it all you’ve got.

Make a list of tasks or schedule some downtime and follow-through with your plan. You’ll feel more satisfied and rejuvenated.

 

3. Think Before You Answer

Most questions or favors asked of you do not require immediate attention. If they do, see if the timing is appropriate for you and determine if you need to be directly involved. It’s okay to tell your friend or colleague that you need some time to think about it. You’ll grant yourself the chance to step away from the immediacy and pressure and have time to evaluate the pros and cons of your decision.

 

4. Embrace a Mantra

Develop a saying that you repeat over and over to yourself. It can remind you to say no or consider your priorities first. Make sure that your message is positive and only propels you forward. Envision your mantra multiple times every day, and before you know it, this practice will become a good habit.

 

5. Don’t Fall on the Defense

You don’t need to provide an excuse or reason to defend your decision. More often than not, your reason is your own business.

Like a mother telling their child, “because I said so,” is answer enough. You were given free will. Embrace it.

 

paulo coelho saying yes picture quote

 

6. Never Apologize

This isn’t a “get out of jail free” card. If you were at fault, of course you need to apologize. However, this goes for the yes men that say sorry for every decision they make. Don’t feel the need to feel guilt about your decision. This will only promote anxiety and unwanted stress.

 

7. Develop an Assertive Tone

Going along with never saying you’re sorry (unless there’s reason), be confident with your choices. Remind yourself that you have a good head on your shoulders and you will weigh your decisions and logically sort through what is best for you. Once you decide, go confident in your answer and remain firm. No backsliding.

 

8. See the Good in Saying “No”

Don’t always see saying “no” as letting down another person. See it as an opportunity to do something to make you happy and focus on your wants and needs. You will start to notice your schedule will slowly clear up.

 

9. Don’t Be Afraid of the Aftermath 

Never dwell on what people think about your decision. Chances are they’ve moved on before you have. Fixating on your answer will cause you to stress and worry too much. Let it go.

 

10. You are Only Human 

At the end of the day, you can’t please everyone. So, instead of trying to be a superhero, try to assess your priorities and put yourself first.

 

Feature Image originally appeared on: AceShowBiz

Life

A Simple but Effective Technique to Be More Confident

Avatar

Published

on

Many people want to learn how to be confident in different situations, but it’s not always easy. Maybe we’re too addicted to comparing ourselves or maybe social media has brainwashed us to believe that we should all be rich, famous, and in incredible shape. (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

Knowing Your Message vs Delivering Your Message

Avatar

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

Have you ever sent a text message only to have it misinterpreted by the person reading it? Happens all the time. Have you ever given a presentation that you were totally prepared for only to have it fall flat? Happens all the time. Have you ever had someone ask you something like, “Why are you mad?” when you were not at all mad? Happens all the time. (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

The 3 Most Important Things I Learned About Personal Growth

Avatar

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

When you look back on your life, what do you want to think about? Do you plan to reminisce on all of the good things that have happened and how they shaped who you are today? Or would you rather remember all of the bad decisions, challenging experiences, and mistakes made that hurt or wasted a portion of your life?

In my opinion, I think it is important to reflect on both. While it’s important to remember the hardships we’ve been through in our lives – without them we wouldn’t be where we are now. There are 3 very specific areas that I feel have helped me grow in a personal sense more than anything else in my life so far. 

These aren’t simple lessons in a book or a lecture that you can just absorb and apply to your life. These are things that I’ve learned through experience and reflection, and I’m still learning and growing today.

1. We determine how much we’re worth by what we think about ourselves, others, and life in general.

This might seem like a pretty obvious lesson in life but it’s actually one of the most important because we can determine our own worth by how we think about ourselves and the world around us. If you’re looking for success in any kind of business or social setting (dating), then I’ll tell you right now that it doesn’t matter if you have 10 billion dollars or not – people are still going to judge you based on your thoughts and beliefs alone.

What determines our value isn’t necessarily what we do with our lives (which is often based on luck) but whether or not we believe that ‘our work’ is worthy or not in some sort of grand scheme or universe. We may not always be able to control what happens in our lives, but we can always control how we value ourselves and others.

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” – Maya Angelou

2. You don’t have to change your habits or personality just because someone else doesn’t like it – their opinions are THEIRS alone.

This is another one of those lessons that people tend to pick up on a little bit late in life, but if anything that makes its importance even worse! Basically, there’s going to come a time when you’re going to meet someone who has certain expectations of you as a person…but these expectations might not be realistic due to their motivations and personal beliefs. For example, sometimes parents might expect you to be a lawyer or doctor because that’s what they believe is best for their child.

However, this isn’t the case for everyone and so maybe your passion lies in music or writing novels. In this example, if you were also pressured into becoming a doctor – then there would obviously be some kind of conflict going on within yourself as a person. You should never have to give up something that you want to do just because someone else doesn’t like it! The reason why we’re put onto this Earth is to make our own choices and go after our OWN dreams instead of letting others determine what we can and cannot do with our lives .

3. You can’t change your life until you accept that you need to make a change.

When I was younger, I thought that this lesson would be pretty obvious – but as I got older, it really made me appreciate the fact that there are always different ways of perceiving our lives. For example, if someone wants to become rich and famous one day – their mind might simply overshadow any other possibility in their head because they feel like this is what they NEED to do right now.

However, this isn’t always true within our own lives because we think about things too literally instead of having an open mind. If you want to achieve success in any kind of business or social setting (dating) then you should be willing to try out different things instead of staying in your comfort zone. If you want something, then it’s up to YOU to actually go after it – nobody else is going to give it to you!

The three lessons above are some of the main things I want to pass on to everyone because they’ve come at an important time in my life where I need to start thinking about others instead of only myself. It’s great if we can learn to love ourselves first before anything else, but that doesn’t mean you should neglect everyone around you even though they might be your friends and family members!

If you enjoyed this article on the 3 most important things I learned about personal growth, then please share it with your friends and family! Also, check out my other articles on success & motivation as well as life lessons that could help people who are struggling with their life right now on lifengoal.com. Thanks for reading!

Continue Reading

Life

​​4 Boss Level Growth Strategies That Create an Optimized Life

Avatar

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

Building a business is about more than sales, marketing, and flexing on social media. While those things tend to draw attention, they attract the wrong type of clients and are not how you build a sustainable and freedom-focused business. (more…)

Continue Reading

Trending