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10 Signs You Are Going To Be A Failure

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signs of failure

Success leaves clues and so does failure. If you look at the habits of people who generally succeed in the long run they are the polar opposite of those who generally keep on failing.

You can be the most fortunate and blessed person on earth but if you are consistently following these habits, no amount of good fortune can save you.

Here are 10 signs you should watch out for if you want to be successful:

1. You love wasting money and expect your parents to foot the bill

Nothing wrong with parents helping their kids when they are very young or even helping them from time to time even when they are older. But if you keep spending their money frivolously without knowing and appreciating how hard they worked for it, then it means you aren’t mature enough to respect money. And if you don’t respect money, it won’t respect you.

 

2. You are not disciplined

If you cannot practice discipline then you simply will not succeed. If you always want instant pleasure instead of being willing to tolerate pain today for a payoff in the future, then your life is not much different from that of an animal that only wants food and sleep. If your life is only limited to that, good for you, but you won’t be changing the world anytime soon.

“Confidence comes from discipline and training.” – Robert Kiyosaki

3. You don’t finish what you start

One of the key differences between successful people and failures is that the former usually finish what they start and the latter almost never do. Failures say they want to follow their passion but when the going gets tough, they throw in the towel. Passion isn’t enough if you lack the commitment to go through with it all the way.

 

4. You love playing the blame game

Yes some people are fortunate enough to get the right opportunities, but without the will to succeed even those opportunities will be absolutely useless. The single biggest factor behind success is how badly you want to succeed and your willingness to take personal responsibility. If all you do is blame your parents, your boss, your friends for your lack of success it means your approach towards life is passive. You believe someone else is in control of your destiny. And once you start believing that, you are doomed.

 

5. You don’t believe in yourself

If you don’t believe in yourself you are almost certain to fail. Why you ask? It is simple. Those who believe that something is possible make determined efforts to make their dreams come true. Chronic failures on the other hand believe from the very beginning that nothing is going to work. As a result they never put in the effort to succeed or are always looking for signs that prove what they are doing won’t work. Their lack of self belief ensures a lack of action and eventually a lack of success.

 

6. You don’t set goals

If you don’t have goals it means you don’t know where you are going. If you don’t know where you are going then it is almost certain that you are going to wander around aimlessly. Success is a journey with milestones. But it needs a map to keep you on track. Your goals are your map. If you don’t have them you will end up being lost in the wilderness.

 

7. You care too much about what others think

Even if people do judge you, it only reflects who they are as a person, it doesn’t reflect who you are. The truth is even if you do end up trying to please some of these people, there will be another group that will find something else to complain about. Stop trying to please everyone, it’s impossible. Instead why not please the most important person in your life? You!

 

8. You don’t take care of your health

If you don’t take care of your health then no matter how hard you work, it is all going to be worthless because you simply wont be around long enough to actually enjoy the fruits of your labor. A great spiritual leader observed that most people first waste away all their health in pursuit of money and then waste all the money trying to get back their lost health. Why screw up with it in the first place? Take care of your mind and body and it will take care of everything else.

 

9. You don’t stand up for yourself

If you can’t fight for what you want then don’t cry when you don’t get it. If you don’t fight you will be taken advantage of by others and be crumpled. Yes, being too nice is a bad thing if it kills your dreams in the process. Do not be a doormat. Be assertive and demand what you want, especially if you deserve it. If you are too scared to demand what you want because you think you will be considered impolite, then be content with living the life of a nice guy who is a failure.

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” -Winston Churchill

10. You put money ahead of relationships

Even if you do succeed in your career, you need someone around to actually celebrate with. Nobody is going to be around celebrating with you if you don’t show that you care about them as well. Success in life is not just materialistic, it includes relationships as well. If you ignore relationships for the sake of money, you may be a success in your professional life, but in your personal life you will be an utter failure.

Conclusion

There are many aspects and different meanings to success. Figure out what success looks like for you and then take the necessary actions to go after what you want. If you re-evaluate your life and you see some of these signs, figure out how to improve on them and eventually eliminate them.

On which sign do you need to work on? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Anubhav Srivastava is an author, speaker and the director of Carve Your Destiny, a first of its kind, comprehensive motivational movie on the principles of success. It has been seen on Youtube by close to a million people.  Visit Anubhavsrivastava.com for his inspirational blog. See the film here.

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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