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10 Signs You Are Going To Be A Failure

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signs of failure

Success leaves clues and so does failure. If you look at the habits of people who generally succeed in the long run they are the polar opposite of those who generally keep on failing.

You can be the most fortunate and blessed person on earth but if you are consistently following these habits, no amount of good fortune can save you.

Here are 10 signs you should watch out for if you want to be successful:

1. You love wasting money and expect your parents to foot the bill

Nothing wrong with parents helping their kids when they are very young or even helping them from time to time even when they are older. But if you keep spending their money frivolously without knowing and appreciating how hard they worked for it, then it means you aren’t mature enough to respect money. And if you don’t respect money, it won’t respect you.

 

2. You are not disciplined

If you cannot practice discipline then you simply will not succeed. If you always want instant pleasure instead of being willing to tolerate pain today for a payoff in the future, then your life is not much different from that of an animal that only wants food and sleep. If your life is only limited to that, good for you, but you won’t be changing the world anytime soon.

“Confidence comes from discipline and training.” – Robert Kiyosaki

3. You don’t finish what you start

One of the key differences between successful people and failures is that the former usually finish what they start and the latter almost never do. Failures say they want to follow their passion but when the going gets tough, they throw in the towel. Passion isn’t enough if you lack the commitment to go through with it all the way.

 

4. You love playing the blame game

Yes some people are fortunate enough to get the right opportunities, but without the will to succeed even those opportunities will be absolutely useless. The single biggest factor behind success is how badly you want to succeed and your willingness to take personal responsibility. If all you do is blame your parents, your boss, your friends for your lack of success it means your approach towards life is passive. You believe someone else is in control of your destiny. And once you start believing that, you are doomed.

 

5. You don’t believe in yourself

If you don’t believe in yourself you are almost certain to fail. Why you ask? It is simple. Those who believe that something is possible make determined efforts to make their dreams come true. Chronic failures on the other hand believe from the very beginning that nothing is going to work. As a result they never put in the effort to succeed or are always looking for signs that prove what they are doing won’t work. Their lack of self belief ensures a lack of action and eventually a lack of success.

 

6. You don’t set goals

If you don’t have goals it means you don’t know where you are going. If you don’t know where you are going then it is almost certain that you are going to wander around aimlessly. Success is a journey with milestones. But it needs a map to keep you on track. Your goals are your map. If you don’t have them you will end up being lost in the wilderness.

 

7. You care too much about what others think

Even if people do judge you, it only reflects who they are as a person, it doesn’t reflect who you are. The truth is even if you do end up trying to please some of these people, there will be another group that will find something else to complain about. Stop trying to please everyone, it’s impossible. Instead why not please the most important person in your life? You!

 

8. You don’t take care of your health

If you don’t take care of your health then no matter how hard you work, it is all going to be worthless because you simply wont be around long enough to actually enjoy the fruits of your labor. A great spiritual leader observed that most people first waste away all their health in pursuit of money and then waste all the money trying to get back their lost health. Why screw up with it in the first place? Take care of your mind and body and it will take care of everything else.

 

9. You don’t stand up for yourself

If you can’t fight for what you want then don’t cry when you don’t get it. If you don’t fight you will be taken advantage of by others and be crumpled. Yes, being too nice is a bad thing if it kills your dreams in the process. Do not be a doormat. Be assertive and demand what you want, especially if you deserve it. If you are too scared to demand what you want because you think you will be considered impolite, then be content with living the life of a nice guy who is a failure.

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” -Winston Churchill

10. You put money ahead of relationships

Even if you do succeed in your career, you need someone around to actually celebrate with. Nobody is going to be around celebrating with you if you don’t show that you care about them as well. Success in life is not just materialistic, it includes relationships as well. If you ignore relationships for the sake of money, you may be a success in your professional life, but in your personal life you will be an utter failure.

Conclusion

There are many aspects and different meanings to success. Figure out what success looks like for you and then take the necessary actions to go after what you want. If you re-evaluate your life and you see some of these signs, figure out how to improve on them and eventually eliminate them.

On which sign do you need to work on? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Anubhav Srivastava is an author, speaker and the director of Carve Your Destiny, a first of its kind, comprehensive motivational movie on the principles of success. It has been seen on Youtube by close to a million people.  Visit Anubhavsrivastava.com for his inspirational blog. See the film here.

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4 Comments

4 Comments

  1. Zaki Shaikh

    Nov 20, 2018 at 9:06 am

    I won’t be successful because no matter what I try these things don’t work for me. I am 11 years old failing 6th grade and I ask my parents how to do good but they cannot help me in any way. Does someone know because I do not want to fail

  2. Mohammed Haseeb

    Mar 26, 2016 at 12:32 pm

    Some of the very common mistakes youngsters these days often make. This article really worths a share.

  3. Shane

    Mar 24, 2016 at 7:04 pm

    Particularly 2. Good article. It’s so easy to be distracted, especially in the day of the internet, by entertainment and empty activity. Exacerbating that is 5. Lack of self-belief can fuel dispersion and the desire to take it easy. I like the point about taking action and of course it starts to feel good when focus endures for long enough. This is print-worthy,one of those articles to read again and again.

  4. Kalpana Sharma

    Mar 23, 2016 at 12:19 pm

    Hi Anubhav,
    A very nice article.
    I completely agree with your all points especially with point # 5 and 6. I believe the number one reason people fails is because they think they don’t deserve success and they don’t believe in themselves. Second major reason is they don’t have defined goals for them and that’s why they are not able to utilize their full potential.
    Overall, an awesome article and thank you for sharing such an awesome article with us.

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How many times did you wake up feeling like you could conquer the world? You set ambitious goals for the day, you put on your best attire and walked out the door with a big smile on your face but eventually, life took over. Traffic, emails, work, family, and everything else you have around slowly but steadily started to drain your energy and made you feel exhausted.

You run out of battery, and the only solution that seemed viable was to rely on more caffeine. When that stopped working, all the temptations around you started to look much more appealing, and that sense of drive and commitment you had before slowly faded away. This is you running out of willpower.

Willpower: what is it? Why is it limited?

The American Psychology Association describes willpower as “the ability to resist short-term temptations in order to meet long-term goals.” In the book “The Willpower Instinct”, Dr. Kelly McGonigal, explains how every person’s willpower is limited, and slowly depletes throughout the day. The more “willpower challenges” you face, the quicker your reserve drains. Dr. McGonigal divided the different types of willpower challenges you might encounter in three categories:

  • I will: We face this type of challenge whenever we should do something, but we simply don’t feel like getting it done right now.
  • I won’t: We face this challenge when we try to resist temptation, or we try to keep cool in stressful situations.
  • I want: This is a particular type of challenge where we keep track of our long term goals, dreams, and desires. In this instance, we feel like we should take action right now to come one step closer to the goal. 

It’s easy to recognize it when you face a willpower challenge because you literally “feel it in your body.” Imagine being really hungry and walking in front of a bakery. The sight and the smell of pastries quickly triggers an “I won’t” type of challenge, and it takes a severe amount of effort and energy to walk away.

Every time you manage to win one of those challenges, a little bit of your willpower reserve gets used. The more challenges you face daily, the harder it will be to stay true to your goals.

Can you train or recharge your willpower?

A growing body of research suggests that willpower should be considered a muscle. To strengthen it, you should exercise it regularly, but you should not overwork it. Therefore, we shouldn’t try to “be good” at all times. Instead, we should learn how to relax and recharge our willpower.

The general advice on how to improve willpower involves sleep, proper nutrition, and regular exercise. This broad and general recommendation is often not downright applicable by most, because it consists of changing various daily habits. Luckily, three very effective hacks have been discovered, that have an immediate effect on our willpower and take just a few minutes to apply.

Here are the 3 ways to refill your willpower reserves:

1. Focused breathing

Breathing, when done correctly, can stimulate the release of calming hormones while reducing the release of stress hormones like cortisol and catecholamines. To make this effective, you should deeply and slowly inhale through the nose for at least five seconds. Fill your belly with air first, then your chest, and when there’s no more space for air, still try to do tiny inhalations through the nose.

You should feel a pulling sensation around your neck and trapezius muscles. Once your lungs are full, try to hold the breath for five seconds, then slowly exhale through the mouth for at least five seconds. If you repeat this process ten to twenty times, you should feel dramatically more relaxed. Use this method several times a day, especially when you’re experiencing high levels of stress or anxiety.

2. Reward yourself when you accomplish a micro goal

According to a recent study, frequent instant rewards can boost motivation, and therefore, willpower. Creating your own reward system can help you to accomplish your to-do list, and also resist temptations. Since every individual has different tastes, you should come up with creative ideas about the small and frequent rewards you will give yourself upon winning any willpower challenge.

You can see this hack in practice in Apps like the popular Duolinguo, where after completing each lesson you get presented with a chance to open a treasure chest. This rewarding system seems to keep the users much more likely to keep learning new lessons.

3. Taking cold showers

Your body has an autonomic response to cold water. Getting into a cold shower is a difficult (but minor) willpower challenge on its own. As I previously mentioned, winning a willpower challenge strengthens your willpower muscle. Having a morning cold shower, on top of having multiple health benefits, will set you up for a positive winning streak of further challenges.

High performance is the sum of many small habits. Successful people don’t have an unlimited reserve of willpower, but they do have a set of daily rituals that made them succeed. These three hacks are some of the most effective techniques to develop willpower, but some of them may not fit every individual. You should try to find the perfect mix of daily practices that best fits your lifestyle and likes, so that you can strengthen your willpower muscle and perform better at work.

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