Life
How to Face Failures and Feel Confident Before Becoming Successful

You follow successful people online. You feel inspired to see their growth, achievements, and accomplishments. But sometimes, you may feel intimidated when you look into your own life. You follow their morning rituals, daily habits, nighttime routines, and so on but you don’t get the same results as they do. Then you may doubt yourself, feel unworthy or hopeless about your own life situation.
You wonder what am I missing? What’s the real secret to their success? How do they keep on growing while I keep struggling? The secret to their success is that they are big-time failures. They go through gazillions of failures before they show up as a “success” in front of you. But you’ve probably heard that before. You already know you need to fail more to succeed.
The problem is that we keep associating our failures with being a failure in life. That’s because we take failures personally and our ego doesn’t like failures. But there’s a simple solution to that.
Facing Failures Without The Hurt
When you were a child, you were always in play mode. If you failed, you tried again like nothing happened. You kept on trying without thinking of failure as a shame. Then, school and society conditioned you to avoid failure at all cost. Since then, every time you failed, you felt like a loser.
“Failure is a detour not a dead-end street.” – Zig Ziglar
Let’s break this negative pattern immediately . Stop being so serious. Give yourself permission to fail without feeling dirty. Start playing again and let yourself fall. Remember, your failures don’t define your character. In fact, they build your character. Your failures prepare you for upcoming success. Success may be close or far away - it doesn’t matter, what matters is how you feel on your way to success.
If you spend half of your life trying to succeed in misery and a half of your life enjoying the success, you lose the game. The key is to celebrate each season of your life.
Here are 6 ways to feel confident when you’re on your way to success:
1. Close your eyes and realize how far you’ve come
Drop everything, take a deep breath and realize the difference between where you are now and where you were a few years ago. You will feel a surge of gratitude when you realize all the failures eventually worked in your favor. Even when you’ve not made a lot of progress, you have grown personally, which will help you tackle the future challenges in life.
2. Live by your values to define your own success
When you know your values and live a life true to them, you stop feeling bad about your mistakes. You become the director of your life and feel aligned with every decision of your life. You feel peaceful and happy because there is no place for blames and complaints when you make value-aligned decisions. Your values act as a guide to define what success means to you.
3. Let your burning desire guide you
Although our basic needs remain the same, we all want different things in life. You must know what you desire more than anything because a burning desire can take you to the clouds even when you’re not talented or lucky. The path to your burning desire gives you meaning and fulfillment. But if you do what others expect of you, you won’t go far and you will remain unfulfilled. When you follow your desire, you make sacrifices and overcome all the obstacles with an intense drive within you.
4. Derive fulfillment from different sources
So often, we make the mistake of making our whole life about one goal. Having a laser-focus on a goal is not a bad thing, but it is always a good idea to derive meaning from different sources. When you have different ways to find fulfillment in life, you can remain focused on your bigger goals when the going gets tough. But if you quit other aspects of your life and well-being, you won’t stand the low points of your journey. You got to keep yourself sane to reach your big goals.
“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” – Thomas Edison
5. Define your purpose and live it today
A lot of suffering comes from focusing too much on yourself. Working on yourself and your goals is important, but when you have a greater purpose that shifts your focus on serving others, your drive becomes much stronger. You don’t have to wait to start serving people. You can start today with minimal resources by focusing on one person at a time. A mission bigger than yourself is the secret sauce to life fulfillment.
6. Put on blinders to run your own race
We all know that comparison is the thief of joy, yet, we compare our lives with other’s lives whether or not we realize it. The reason is that humans are wired to form social hierarchies as our ancestors did. You have to rewire your brain to compare yourself only with your past self. We never know the full story behind people’s lives, just like they don’t know ours. Own yourself and your unique challenges to write your epic life story.
Struggling and suffering are two different things. Struggling for your goals leads to success and fulfillment. While suffering is no way to live or stick to your goals. Don’t wait for big successes to feel confident. Find success in your failures until you reach your goals.
When you stop letting failures make you feel like a failure, you allow yourself to open the doors to greater success. You may have been waiting for success to feel good about yourself but you don’t have to wait anymore. Success will come when the time is right. But the time to feel confident is today.
Life
The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance
Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see? (more…)
Life
Failing is More Important Than Succeeding
Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

People often consider failure a stigma. Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life. (more…)
Life
5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.
Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.
Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.
Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.
However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.
Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:
1. Unconscious Sabotage
Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.
This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.
Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.
This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.
3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma
4. A strong need for control
5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained
What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?
There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:
- Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
- Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
- Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
- Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
- Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.
It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.
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