Connect with us

Life

How To Be More Assertive In 6 Basic Steps

Published

on

Many of us struggle to find our voices, even at times when we know that we should speak up. Being assertive is linked to your self-confidence, and not doing it could be holding you back both in your personal and your professional life. Follow these steps below to become more assertive and stand your ground.

1. Write down your thoughts

If you are feeling that you need to stand up for yourself, write down what you are thinking. Plan out how you can tell someone what you think. Even if it’s not for a specific conversation, write down what you need to say and how you can phrase it. This exercise is not intended to be read by someone else but rather to help you practice what to say. It could help with your confidence the next time an opportunity to say something comes up.

2. Choose words carefully

Start training yourself to not say certain words that will interrupt you and make you sound (and feel) less assertive. These include um, like, you know, ah, and so on. It’s much better to take a pause, take a breath, and think about what you want to say. Silence is powerful, and can be a better tool for assertiveness than filling that silence with meaningless noise. Practicing this will also make you feel better able to talk without using these words as time goes on.

“Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs.” – Pearl Strachan Hurd

3. Positively reinforce

When you do stand your ground or speak out, especially if you normally wouldn’t, be sure to reward yourself. Tell yourself about what a great job you have done, or give yourself a treat. Allow yourself a small celebration, even if it is only inside your own head. No matter what the outcome was, reinforce the behaviour in yourself by feeling positive about it.

4. Stand up at home

If you are not assertive in any area of your life, then standing up to your friends and family could be the easiest first step. This will help you to feel more confident before you increase your levels of assertiveness at work. It’s easier to stand up to people we know and like, because they will forgive us even if they think we have spoken out of turn. With more self-confidence, you can tackle the office head-on too.

5. Follow your own rules

If speaking up isn’t possible, think about ways that you can be more assertive through your actions. If you have a colleague that is always trying to involve you in other projects rather than your own work, consider setting a rule that you will only help them when you have finished your daily tasks. If you find that your work runs over into your lunch hour and leaves you with no break, get up from your chair and go for a walk where work can’t find you.

“Make your own rules or be a slave to another man’s.” – William Blake

6. Use body language

Having a slumped posture indicates defeat before you even consider raising your hand. Use body language to convey authority and your voice will be better heard. Straighten your shoulders, stop crossing your arms, keep your head straight, and keep your chin up high. Look people in the eye when you speak to them if you can, and you will find that your words feel stronger when they come from a stronger position.

The most important thing about becoming more assertive is to try. If you never go for step one, you will always struggle to be assertive, and you will never help yourself. Get a backbone and a voice for your own sake – with these steps it comes easier than you might think!

How have you helped yourself become more assertive? Leave your thoughts below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Kate Thora is a Senior Content Specialist for Uphours, an online resource with information about businesses worldwide. Whenever not working, she likes to catch up with the latest business trends on her favourite industry blogs.

Advertisement
2 Comments

2 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Life

9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

Published

on

harsh truths for young men
Image Credit: Midjourney

Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

Continue Reading

Change Your Mindset

The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?

Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.

Published

on

happiness model explained
Image Credit: Midjourney

In a world driven by rapid technological growth and constant competition, many people unknowingly trade joy for achievement. (more…)

Continue Reading

Change Your Mindset

The Secret Daily Routines Behind History’s Most Brilliant Thinkers

Uncover the daily rituals and hidden habits that powered history’s most brilliant minds to success.

Published

on

productivity habits of great minds
Image Credit: Midjourney

Why Daily Rituals Matter

Every great achiever has one thing in common: discipline. Behind the novels, inventions, discoveries, and masterpieces are small, consistent habits repeated daily. (more…)

Continue Reading

Finances

From Debt to Financial Independence: A Practical Roadmap Anyone Can Follow

It’s about having control over your money and not letting money control you.

Published

on

financial freedom tips
Image Credit: Midjourney

The 21st century has brought incredible opportunities but also new challenges. Rapid technological change, global uncertainty, and shifting lifestyles have made many people think more deeply about financial freedom. (more…)

Continue Reading

Trending