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7 Simple Ways to Grow A Positive Attitude

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If you could buy a single product that guarantees you happiness at the push of a button, would you jump to take it? What if I tell you that you already have the seed of that something, and it is yours for free and all you have to do is to plant it and allow it to grow?

That something that can make you feel better, happier, and excited about life is your own mind through positive thinking and attitude.

Keeping a positive attitude is not dependent on the events in your life because life happens even when you stay still. Therefore, a positive attitude comes from inside you regardless of what is happening outside.

Here are 7 ways to grow your positive attitude:

1. Clean up your internal dialogue

A positive attitude starts with the things and the words that you are telling yourself. Glorifying what you are doing right is not arrogance, it’s positive reinforcement. Offering yourself understanding of what you are doing wrong is not self-indulgence, it’s self-compassion.

Clean up your internal dialogue, use encouraging, confident and compassionate words, a calm voice tone and daily affirmations. All of these are medicine to your soul and self-esteem. Plus, a pleasant self-talk improves your interpersonal skills and the way you relate to others.  

2. Write a gratitude journal

A gratitude journal gives you the opportunity to notice, acknowledge and be appreciative for the positive people and things in your life. It is an exercise that makes you hit the break, pause, and pay attention to the multitude of great things you have in your life. Things that, otherwise can pass unremarked and undiscovered.

“In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision.” — Dalai Lama

3. Reframe your problems

First, change the words you are using about a problem. For example, a “problem” is an issue or a challenge. Second, formulate the issue as a question and not a statement. A question gives you multiple possibilities of answering, various ways to go forward, a new beginning. On the other hand, a statement feels definitive, it feels like a dead end.

4. Attract positive people in your life

The easiest way to attract positive people into your life is to be one! Do you know the saying “misery likes company”? Happiness loves company too. Surrounding yourself with positive people is a two-way street. The better people feel in your presence, the better you feel as well. The more positive messages you send, the many positive messages you receive from others.

5. Search for the upside of things

Apparently, the tendency to notice more the negative or the positive side of things is due, in part, to genetics. However, no matter your genes, you can turn things around. Searching deliberately and purposefully for the upside of people and things is a process that is rewiring your brain towards your desired outcome: a positive attitude.

There is almost nothing and no one in this world that doesn’t have the same values and worth to offer you. It is just a matter of practice and patience to discover that part.  

6. Communicate and be assertive about your needs and desires

Being assertive and voicing your needs and desires is part of a positive attitude. When you are assertive about what you want or don’t want, it can calm your feelings of anxiety and fear of rejection. Even if you don’t get each time what you want, know that you had the courage to ask, done the best you could.

Learn how to communicate effectively to others so that everybody wins something at the end. Silence, anger, frustration, screaming, for example, are ways of communication. Is it not? However, they are not effective, nor productive in any shape or form. Assertiveness and communication go hand in hand, influencing each other and giving power one to another. Plus, both are an essential part of building a happy, content life not only for you but for those around at the same time.

There is not harmonious family life without assertiveness; there is no collaboration without skilled communication.  “Lack of communication” is nonsense. We are communicating something at every interaction we have. The only questions are what are you communicating? Is it your communication random, left to chance or is it polished and intentional?

“The thing that lies at the foundation of positive change, the way I see it, is service to a fellow human being.” — Lee lacocca

7. Avoid taking part in unnecessary disputes

Temperate your sense of entitlement and vanity. At every interaction you have, remind yourself, every step of the way, what are your intentions, goals and where do you want to get at the end. People like others that makes them feel good about themselves and that is an excellent aim of your positive attitude in life. Give good and good you will receive.

What are some techniques you use to maintain a positive mindset?
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4 Comments

4 Comments

  1. Hillary Omil

    Nov 24, 2016 at 5:18 am

    I create positivity by exercising whenever I am feeling down

  2. Alex Liang

    Oct 15, 2016 at 1:27 am

    Great points here. Another great way of developing a positive attitude is through meditation. It reduces anxiety and allows people greater control over their emotions.

  3. Sara Wood

    Oct 7, 2016 at 6:18 pm

    Great advice, enjoyable reading.
    My desire in life, is to help as many people as I possibly can. To help bring the best out of each person I come across. To make them feel positive, happy, and most of all, comfortable in their own skin.
    This is what I was put on this earth, and this is my purpose in life.
    Thank you xx

  4. Joshua

    Oct 6, 2016 at 2:00 pm

    Nice post, really educative.

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3 Simple Hacks That Can Recharge Your Willpower and Help You Perform Better at Work

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How many times did you wake up feeling like you could conquer the world? You set ambitious goals for the day, you put on your best attire and walked out the door with a big smile on your face but eventually, life took over. Traffic, emails, work, family, and everything else you have around slowly but steadily started to drain your energy and made you feel exhausted.

You run out of battery, and the only solution that seemed viable was to rely on more caffeine. When that stopped working, all the temptations around you started to look much more appealing, and that sense of drive and commitment you had before slowly faded away. This is you running out of willpower.

Willpower: what is it? Why is it limited?

The American Psychology Association describes willpower as “the ability to resist short-term temptations in order to meet long-term goals.” In the book “The Willpower Instinct”, Dr. Kelly McGonigal, explains how every person’s willpower is limited, and slowly depletes throughout the day. The more “willpower challenges” you face, the quicker your reserve drains. Dr. McGonigal divided the different types of willpower challenges you might encounter in three categories:

  • I will: We face this type of challenge whenever we should do something, but we simply don’t feel like getting it done right now.
  • I won’t: We face this challenge when we try to resist temptation, or we try to keep cool in stressful situations.
  • I want: This is a particular type of challenge where we keep track of our long term goals, dreams, and desires. In this instance, we feel like we should take action right now to come one step closer to the goal. 

It’s easy to recognize it when you face a willpower challenge because you literally “feel it in your body.” Imagine being really hungry and walking in front of a bakery. The sight and the smell of pastries quickly triggers an “I won’t” type of challenge, and it takes a severe amount of effort and energy to walk away.

Every time you manage to win one of those challenges, a little bit of your willpower reserve gets used. The more challenges you face daily, the harder it will be to stay true to your goals.

Can you train or recharge your willpower?

A growing body of research suggests that willpower should be considered a muscle. To strengthen it, you should exercise it regularly, but you should not overwork it. Therefore, we shouldn’t try to “be good” at all times. Instead, we should learn how to relax and recharge our willpower.

The general advice on how to improve willpower involves sleep, proper nutrition, and regular exercise. This broad and general recommendation is often not downright applicable by most, because it consists of changing various daily habits. Luckily, three very effective hacks have been discovered, that have an immediate effect on our willpower and take just a few minutes to apply.

Here are the 3 ways to refill your willpower reserves:

1. Focused breathing

Breathing, when done correctly, can stimulate the release of calming hormones while reducing the release of stress hormones like cortisol and catecholamines. To make this effective, you should deeply and slowly inhale through the nose for at least five seconds. Fill your belly with air first, then your chest, and when there’s no more space for air, still try to do tiny inhalations through the nose.

You should feel a pulling sensation around your neck and trapezius muscles. Once your lungs are full, try to hold the breath for five seconds, then slowly exhale through the mouth for at least five seconds. If you repeat this process ten to twenty times, you should feel dramatically more relaxed. Use this method several times a day, especially when you’re experiencing high levels of stress or anxiety.

2. Reward yourself when you accomplish a micro goal

According to a recent study, frequent instant rewards can boost motivation, and therefore, willpower. Creating your own reward system can help you to accomplish your to-do list, and also resist temptations. Since every individual has different tastes, you should come up with creative ideas about the small and frequent rewards you will give yourself upon winning any willpower challenge.

You can see this hack in practice in Apps like the popular Duolinguo, where after completing each lesson you get presented with a chance to open a treasure chest. This rewarding system seems to keep the users much more likely to keep learning new lessons.

3. Taking cold showers

Your body has an autonomic response to cold water. Getting into a cold shower is a difficult (but minor) willpower challenge on its own. As I previously mentioned, winning a willpower challenge strengthens your willpower muscle. Having a morning cold shower, on top of having multiple health benefits, will set you up for a positive winning streak of further challenges.

High performance is the sum of many small habits. Successful people don’t have an unlimited reserve of willpower, but they do have a set of daily rituals that made them succeed. These three hacks are some of the most effective techniques to develop willpower, but some of them may not fit every individual. You should try to find the perfect mix of daily practices that best fits your lifestyle and likes, so that you can strengthen your willpower muscle and perform better at work.

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