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Success Advice

Two Questions That Must Be Answered for Your Personal Success

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As a practitioner and facilitator of goal setting for the past 30 years, I can say that while I believe in the process of goal setting, it has become a little too restrictive. By that I mean that many of the books on goals setting require boxes to be checked, forms to be filled, I’s to be dotted, and T’s to be crossed.

In the past, three questions had to be answered for goal setting to work its magic. The first question was WHAT do you want. Obviously if you set a goal, it is to acquire something. It could be something tangible like a vacation or a house or relationship, or it could be intangible such as greater patience, better organization, or an elevated level of interpersonal skills.

The next question that had to be answered was WHY do you want it. The underlying psychology behind answering the why question was an internal rationalization process that supposedly set the subconscious at ease and allowed the goal setter to act with effortless execution.

The last question that had to be answered was HOW do you derive what you want. This is a process that I called in my first book, Goals Book, functional decomposition. By that I meant, you break the goal down into imperceptible, almost subconscious behavioral steps that need to be posted into your calendar and acted upon daily.

Guess what? The above process works, and it works well. However, for as many successes as there are in the process there are typically many more failures. The reason behind the number of failures we experience has to do with the rigid, unforgiving process that we put ourselves through on a daily basis, and the guilt that arises from not accomplishing some of the action steps necessary to achieve our goal.

“Don’t bury your failures, let them inspire you.” – Robert Kiyosaki

For years I thought to myself, there has to be a better way to reach your goals, and I believe I found it! The questions haven’t changed, only their underlying motivation. Let me explain:

When there is something that is wanted, it becomes the WHAT. The what process is logical and scientific. Perhaps what you want is not logical or scientific, but asking the what question is. For example, if you need a new car, the what is very simple, it is a new car. Since we all know that a car is a mode of transportation, and transportation in modern society is necessary, wanting a new car is a very logical process.

However, the WHY, is an emotional process. So, the next question after what kind of a car do you want, is why do you want that one in particular, and this is the type of question that evokes emotion.

Perhaps you want a minivan for your growing family because you feel guilty by cramming your partner, three kids, and ice hockey equipment into your current vehicle. Perhaps you are looking for a high-end sports car that you consider to be an emotional extension of your personality. It really doesn’t matter; the fact is the WHY question is emotional.

It’s the HOW question that I have studied the most. Instead of the process of functional decomposition to determine every point perhaps, I thought, that not worrying so much about the how, and let it unfold before you is enough.

Jack Canfield suggested that you could drive across the United States from the Atlantic Ocean to the Pacific Ocean at night only using your headlights. That means that you can travel 4000 miles by only seeing 200 feet in front of you. The how will unfold every 200 feet!

Using this more contemplative approach to goal setting works. Let me give you the steps below:

Step 1: Determine your WHAT. During this process, be as focused and as logical as possible as to what it is you are looking to have, to accomplish, or to become. See what you want in all of its visual splendor. Use your other senses as you see fit.

Step 2: Determine your WHY. In this step, you need to get excited about what you are looking for. This is not just sensual, but emotional! I want you getting so excited about what you want or what you are going to become that it brings a tear to your eye. When you combine the what and the why, that is logic and emotion working together.

Step 3: Don’t worry about the HOW! Yes, your reading that correctly. As long as you can see 200 feet in front of you, that is the next necessary action step. I have been using the system for several years now, and it works! It got me to move to Costa Rica without a clear plan and yet as I am writing this, I am in the process of opening up yet another business! I could never have done this if I try to plan for it.

“Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.” – Pablo Picasso

If you are metaphysical, you can say you threw it out to the universe. If you are psychological, you can say that you made micro adjustments to your subconscious that brought about the desired result. If you are theological, you could say that God helps those who help themselves.

If you’re like me, you realize it’s a combination of all three, and you keep moving forward. I have found that this process has literally changed my life.

I’d love to hear your thoughts below about this method of goal setting!

Biagio Sciacca, known to his friends as Bill, was a lifelong resident of Pittston, PA. He is the owner of Intelligent Motivation, Inc. a global consulting and training firm specializing in management and leadership training as well as psychological assessment for hiring and staff development. He is the author of several books relating to goal setting, and his third book, Provocative Leadership, is publishing soon. Now residing in Tamarindo, Costa Rica, he divides his time between his international coaching and training clients, writing his next book and wandering aimlessly on the beach. Feel free to contact Bill at bill@intelligentmotivationinc.com or schedule a call with him by going to www.intelligentmotivationinc.com and clicking on the “set up a call” tab.

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Success Advice

20 Ways You Can Become a Powerful Communicator

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Emile Steenveld Speaker and Coach

Some people seem to naturally know how to effectively communicate in a group setting. They can express themselves clearly and listen attentively without dominating the conversation.

Being a powerful communicator is important for several reasons, including building and maintaining relationships, achieving goals, resolving conflicts, improving productivity, leading and influencing others, advancing in your career, expressing yourself more confidently and authentically, and improving your mental and emotional well-being. Effective communication is an essential life skill that can benefit you in all aspects of your life.

But, don’t worry if you don’t naturally possess this skill, as effective communication is something that can be developed with practice, planning and preparation.
 

1.  Listen actively: Practice active listening by giving your full attention to the speaker and responding to what they are saying.

 

2. Use “I” statements: Speak from your own perspective and avoid placing blame or making accusations.

 

3. Avoid assumptions: Don’t make assumptions about what the other person is thinking or feeling.

 

4. Be clear: Express your thoughts and feelings clearly and concisely by getting to the point and avoid using jargon or overly complex language.

 

5. Show empathy: Show that you understand and care about the other person’s feelings.

 

6. Offer valuable insights: When speaking in a group, provide a valuable takeaway or actionable item that people can walk away with.

 

7. Be an active listener: Listen attentively and respond accordingly, incorporating your points into the conversation.

 

8. Choose the right time: Pick the most opportune time to speak to ensure that you have the group’s attention and can deliver your message without interruption.

 

9. Be the unifying voice: Step in and unify the group’s thoughts to calm down the discussion and insert your point effectively.

 

10. Keep responses concise: Keep responses short and to the point to show respect for others’ time.

 

11. Avoid unnecessary comments: Avoid commenting on everything and only speak when you have something important to say.

 

12. Cut the fluff: Avoid being long-winded and get straight to the point.

 

13. Prepare ahead of time: Sort out your points and practice them before speaking in a group.

 

14. Smile and be positive: Smile and nod along as others speak, to build a positive relationship and be respected when it’s your turn to speak.

 

15. Take responsibility: Take responsibility for your own actions and feelings.

 

16. Ask questions: Ask questions to clarify any confusion or misunderstandings.

 

17. Avoid interrupting: Allow the other person to finish speaking without interruption.

 

18. Practice active listening: Repeat what the other person said to ensure you have understood correctly.

 

19. Use your body language too: Use nonverbal cues such as eye contact, facial expressions, and body language to convey your message and build rapport.

 

20. Be aware of the tone of your voice: it should be calm and assertive, not aggressive or passive.

 

By keeping these tips in mind, you can improve your communication skills and become a more powerful communicator, which can help you build better relationships, achieve your goals, and lead a more fulfilling life.

I you want to learn how to become more confident in life then you can join my weekly mentorship calls and 40+ online workshops at AweBliss.com so you can master your life with more success.

 
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Success Advice

Dead Men Tell No Tales: How to Navigate a Mutiny as a Leader in 10 Steps

You’re the manager. You’re the supervisor. You’re the leader. But maybe your people don’t see it that way

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You’re the manager. You’re the supervisor. You’re the leader. But maybe your people don’t see it that way and perhaps that has created a divisive and adversarial working environment that makes it difficult for you to influence and inspire your team in a way that meets your vision. (more…)

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Success Advice

How to Think Like a CEO for Your Future Success

A blueprint for CEOs to draw a disciplined strategy

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Strategic thinking helps CEOs build successful businesses. It helps them establish everlasting enterprises. It is one of the key elements of decision-making. It is different from strategic leadership. It differentiates between leaders from managers.  (more…)

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Success Advice

How to Focus Your Mind on Your Goals in 2023 Constructively

In this world of distractions due to information overload, it has become a big challenge to focus our minds

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In this world of distractions due to information overload, it has become a big challenge to focus our minds on positive aspects and constructive activities. Sometimes we waste our precious time mentally and physically due to distractions arising out of technology. We must understand our priorities and learn how to focus on them religiously. (more…)

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