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The Secrets to Mastering Goal Setting According to Tony Robbins

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Tony Robbins goal setting

Tony Robbins emphasizes simplicity when it comes to effectively setting goals for himself and for others. In his understanding, goals are fundamental to life direction and by setting them in the right way we’re able to grasp control of our futures and grow how we want to. He identifies most of the problems people face in setting goals are setting too many, not taking goals seriously enough and setting the wrong kind of goals. His solution to all of these issues is clear and simple.

Here are a few of his thoughts on how to take control by effectively setting goals for yourself:

1. Identify What You Want

It may seem obvious but one of the biggest issues for people when they set out trying to find the key to success, is knowing what they want in the first place. Defining your goals, or your “Dreams with a deadline” as Robbins puts it, is absolutely crucial to figuring out how to begin to go about creating the future you want for yourself.

A good way to get started on figuring out what you want is to write down your ideas. Somewhere along that process your brain is able to pick out the goals which are most achievable and most desirable. By establishing what you want, you can set out to make that a reality with clarity and discipline.

“Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.” – Tony Robbins

2. Justify Your Goals

Understanding the origin of your goals, once you have identified them, is important in sticking to the task of making your goals a reality. Sometimes you might think you want something in the heat of the moment, but on further reflection, you realize that you were simply drawn to an idea on a temporary basis.

Justifying your goals can be a good moment to discuss what you want to do with others in your life; a spouse, a parent, a coach, whoever it might be. This isn’t to say that they should be able to decide whether you follow through or not, that is up to you. But it adds some outside perspective to an otherwise very personal process.

3. Be Specific

Specific goals are far more likely to get completed, so says Robbins. It’s one thing to say something like ‘I want to lose some weight’ or ‘I want to learn how to sing’. But to translate those generalized desires into action requires something more specific as your goal. You could say instead that you want to lose 25 pounds or that you want to join a competitive choir. These specific goals keep you motivated when the going gets tough and make it easier to remind yourself what you’re aiming to achieve.

4. Understand Your Own Potential

This is quite simple. You’ve got to know what is reasonably achievable and what isn’t. People are susceptible both to setting goals that are far too lofty and goals which are far too easy to achieve. Use past experiences, the opinions of others and your own sense of self-awareness to set goals which are a real challenge but not ones that will leave you feeling defeated and a failure.

5. Don’t Stop When You Reach Your First Goal

Following on from the point above, if you succeed at reaching your first goal it’s extremely important that you are able to capitalize on that success to continue with shaping your future. In all likelihood, the boost you receive when you achieve a goal will inspire you to go further and further, shaping your future with even more certainty. Don’t stop when you tick your first box, push harder and achieve more. If you can meet one target, why not meet more? See each goal as a single stepping stone in the path towards an overall sense of life success.

“The most important thing you can do to achieve your goals is to make sure that as soon as you set them, you immediately begin to create momentum.” – Tony Robbins

6. Don’t Worry If You Fail

With so much advice geared towards succeeding and success, it seems strange to end on this note, but it’s important to recognize that if failing at achieving a goal was a waste of time then you’ve either got the wrong perspective or the wrong goals. It’s crucial that when you are looking to yourself to establish what you want, that you choose goals the process of achieving which will push you and help you to grow regardless of what you achieve. It’s all about learning and moving forward.

Tony Robbins’ advice is strict and straightforward. Have clear, well thought out goals, take something out of the process of chasing your dreams and, if you fail, get up, brush yourself off and refocus yourself on your next step towards achieving what you want to achieve.

Emily Williams works as a marketing specialist and writer at Academic brits. She is passionate about engaging with readers who seek information on marketing, startups, brand development, and personal growth at Origin writings. With more than five years of experience, she enjoys supporting smart people to achieve online success.

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Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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