Have you ever wondered how to ethically use persuasion to motivate people to think, say, and do the things that you want them to do? Having great communication skills is an essential skill for anyone in business. Oftentimes, the way you communicate is responsible for winning and losing.

We must discover the needs of others and connect these needs with the benefit of our product and service. Top sales people build trust fast by establishing rapport and making their customers feel understood.

There are two types of persuasion:

Direct Persuasion is telling someone what to do, how to act, what do say, etc.

Indirect Persuasion involves non-obvious motivators that help someone make the decision themselves where you appear uninvolved.

Humans are self-motivating machines and persuasion is NUDGING the person towards your opinion. We want to collaborate with people in a way that helps them and helps us. To do this, you must show that by helping themselves, they will also help you.

If you become an expert in speaking in terms of the other person’s interests then you are going to be wildly persuasive and authentic at the same. If you are trying to get over on people they will sniff it out. Genuinely provide value and speak in terms of the other person’s interests and they will be more easily persuaded for the desired action that you require.

These are things that motivate someone’s choice or behavior. They are outside ourselves and are often tangible. They can be monetary or an experience. An incentive is something you receive physically or emotionally for completing the desired outcome.

There is always an incentive whether it is hidden or obvious. If we can understand people’s incentives then we can speak in terms of their interest. The best persuasion tactic is aligning the incentives with the goal that connect the motivator with the outcome. Something beautiful happens if you can do this extremely well. You can never talk about a person’s incentive too much.

If you can align your incentives with the incentives of the other person then you create a true win-win situation that allows you both to maximize success. If you can find this intersection of incentives then you will see you consistently shine in negotiations and regularly create situations of growth.

Motivators are the engines inside us. Unlike incentives, motivators are things that affect us deep in our spirit. Motivators go in only two directions: toward the things we want OR away from the things we don’t want.

An important fact to note is that motivation away from pain is about twice as powerful as motivation towards pleasure. We will do and risk twice as much to avoid losing something than we are to gain something. Desire and fear are the foundational characteristics in these motivations.

Here are some examples of using motivators successfully:

• If you learn it and do the action steps, you will reach your goals.
• If you do not take the action steps, could you see that failure is imminent?
• If you do, people will love you.
• If you don’t, people will reject you.
• If you do, you will have more power in your life
• If you don’t, success and legacy will be harder to achieve.

These motivators are merely examples of the types of phrases you can use. More importantly familiarize with the structure of moving people away from pain and towards pleasure.

“Decision makers happen unconsciously and then later we realize that we made a decision. This is why building rapport is so important. Rapport is the connection you need to establish a personal relationship. If the relationship is established then it’s much easier to accomplish your desired outcome. Avoid being ambiguous. People do not like situations when they are unsure of what the implications may be.

It’s important to help people clearly see the same outcome that you do. If you can co-create the ideal result then you will build a bond of trust that aids in the decision making process.

These 3 elements of persuasion are pivotal information. You can apply this knowledge right now by creating win-win situations, painting the picture of what they stand to lose rather than what they are aiming to win and building rapport from their interests, desires and fears.