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Success Advice

The Day I Decided To Stop Being A Loser And How You Can Do The Same

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I didn’t always have my life all figured out. In fact, there are still parts that I need to work on. One day I was contemplating whether I should start posting articles on LinkedIn. It was on that day that I decided to stop being a loser.

I remember having lots of fear about what people would think of me. This whole blogging thing can only work if you are prepared to put everything on the line.

Safe, predictable advice doesn’t work – I’ve tried.

My dream is to inspire the world through entrepreneurship and personal development. I don’t want to change a thousand lives; I want to change millions and hopefully billions of lives. I want to leave a legacy that can last for generations.

That’s obviously no small task. Shortly after making that decision I started blogging. Every day people told me that my dream was stupid and nobody really cared for what I was doing. Now, three years on, I get swamped with emails every day of regular people like you and me that want to stop being pussies and achieve their big dream.

Definition of being a loser: Being a coward. Being mediocre and having a lack of determination. Not being prepared to overcome fear.

Influencing people through not giving a F#@K

I wrote a risky article with this title on LinkedIn. I sat on it for more than six months, too afraid to post it. I had fearful thoughts that I could upset the corporate world in which I work in. Then I thought “No that is total BS. I’m trying to help people and if that’s a crime then screw it.”

The following day I posted the article. People loved it. They saw past the swear word in the headline, for what I was trying to say. What’s ironic is that I had created an article with this bold headline and then I was doing exactly the opposite of the advice.

No longer was I going to be a loser. If something scares you and you’re holding back, then that’s exactly what your next move should be. Bold moves are how you will achieve your big dream.

Here’s my advice on how to stop being a loser and achieve your dream:

1. Talking about my failed businesses was risky – I did it anyway

A few years ago there weren’t that many people talking about their failed startups and there was no event called “F#@K Up nights.” It wasn’t cool to hang at the Facebook head office and talk about how your side hustle or startup failed. I chose to screw what everyone thought and shared my story anyway.

It was a risk because the business world could reject me yet again for my pretty dumb mistakes. I did it anyway because I decided to be a loser no longer. I committed to not holding back like so many chumps who pretend that nothing ever goes wrong and everything they touch turns to gold.

Perfection doesn’t exist. Don’t fall for that lie. Your biggest failures are exactly the thing you should talk about. Pussies hide from failures and that’s not the person you want to be. Your story is what will draw people towards your big dream. Embrace it with everything you have.

2. Working on the weekends instead of “brunching” was not trendy – I did it anyway

When all the mediocre pussies were out on Saturday brunching and being comfortable, I was doing reps in my home office and writing.

As a side note, I hate the word brunch. It is a loser way of saying “I waste more time than anybody else performing the human function of eating while taking photos of my food and putting it on Instagram with the hashtag #foodporn.” Seriously! Breakfast happens in the morning and lunch happens in the afternoon.

When all the pussies took Monday off and went to the beach because it was really hot, I was at home sweating it out and writing. Achieving your dream is impossible if you just piss fart around and hope that success will fall on your lap.

“Anything worth doing takes time and you have to subtract that time from all the mediocre crap in your life that’s not important”

You know exactly what I’m talking about too. As I write this article, I’m at home sick with a cold. Am I being precious and sitting in bed like a big baby sipping soup and asking for hugs? Hell no. I can still rest my body and be at home working on my dream.

3. Talking about my failed relationship with a work colleague was risky to put on the company homepage – I did it anyway

You might think this was suicide. I allowed the marketing team at my corporate gig to post an article that mentioned a failed relationship with a work colleague. It went on the homepage for everyone to see including the ex-girlfriend.

Did I be a loser and say no? Not on your life. It’s who I am. It happened. This is me in all of my glory and people will find out regardless. The only person you should be doing is you. Stay the course with this way of thinking and people will respect you for who you are.

4. Spending thousands on a website was risky – I did it anyway

I built a personal website with a freelancer. I kept changing my mind and it became expensive. Pretty dumb move when my side hustle was not making a single dollar. I had faith though and knew what I was doing mattered.

Eventually, I went viral all over the Internet and I was very glad I had a proper website to refer people to so I could collect email subscribers and provide even more value.

People who don’t get your dream will think you are nuts. All that matters is that you know what you want and that you believe you can do it. The rest will follow once you think like this. Only a loser would not invest their own money into their dream.

5. Flying all around the world with a fear of flying was risky – I did it anyway

Nothing beats face-to-face interaction. I had to stop being a loser and overcome my fear of flying in order to meet people that were crucial to my dream. It wasn’t easy, but I did it anyway. After a few flights, I had forgotten about my fear.

I was having so much success with meeting people that all the excuses and fear dissipated like magic. Go to places and meet people. You’ll need a network of people around you to achieve your big dream and the quickest way to do that is in person.

“Flying can be expensive and so can being a loser too. You have to spend money sometimes to fast track your path towards success”

6. Talking about love when you are a blokey bloke was suicide – I did it anyway

The viral article I wrote that started on LinkedIn talked about love and it was being shown to a business audience. As a “blokey bloke” people expected me to be the last person on Earth to talk about love. It was a necessity and I believed in what I was saying.

Your default response to be a loser is initiated when you don’t live in alignment with your true self. By hiding behind a mask, you push everyone that matters away from you.

“Something is only taboo when nobody is saying it. When everyone starts to align with your message it is no longer taboo”

7. Waking up at 4 am to work was risky for my health – I did it anyway

I previously suffered from burnout because I let everything into my diary and had no focus on what I wanted. Deciding to wake up at 4 am each day was risky because it had the potential to take me back to the days when I suffered from burnout.

I did it anyway because my dream mattered. I made sure that I went to bed earlier and got plenty of rest to counteract the bold decision to live when the rest of the world sleeps. Getting up early is how you can become super-productive and get more time in your day.

8. Continuing to blog seemed pointless – I did it anyway

These words I write were ignored for years. I believed in myself and did it anyway. Believe in yourself and your potential.

***Final thought***

Do you want to play in the big league or the little league? The risks you take and how much you put yourself out there will be the answer to that question.

“There’s no magic carpet that’s going to stop by your house, take you to Planet Happiness and then introduce you to the person of your dreams who then wants to have hot steamy sex with you”

Quit being a loser and get with the program.

Don’t tell me you’ve earned your success and then in the same sentence tell me that you are where you want to be. Put on a pair of fighters gloves and get to work. Show me some sweat. But first, get into the gym. Start the game. Not tomorrow. Right now!

Then come and talk to me about your level of success. Only then will you stop being a loser like I was. Only then will you step out of the darkness and into the light.

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If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net
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Success Advice

20 Ways You Can Become a Powerful Communicator

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Emile Steenveld Speaker and Coach

Some people seem to naturally know how to effectively communicate in a group setting. They can express themselves clearly and listen attentively without dominating the conversation.

Being a powerful communicator is important for several reasons, including building and maintaining relationships, achieving goals, resolving conflicts, improving productivity, leading and influencing others, advancing in your career, expressing yourself more confidently and authentically, and improving your mental and emotional well-being. Effective communication is an essential life skill that can benefit you in all aspects of your life.

But, don’t worry if you don’t naturally possess this skill, as effective communication is something that can be developed with practice, planning and preparation.
 

1.  Listen actively: Practice active listening by giving your full attention to the speaker and responding to what they are saying.

 

2. Use “I” statements: Speak from your own perspective and avoid placing blame or making accusations.

 

3. Avoid assumptions: Don’t make assumptions about what the other person is thinking or feeling.

 

4. Be clear: Express your thoughts and feelings clearly and concisely by getting to the point and avoid using jargon or overly complex language.

 

5. Show empathy: Show that you understand and care about the other person’s feelings.

 

6. Offer valuable insights: When speaking in a group, provide a valuable takeaway or actionable item that people can walk away with.

 

7. Be an active listener: Listen attentively and respond accordingly, incorporating your points into the conversation.

 

8. Choose the right time: Pick the most opportune time to speak to ensure that you have the group’s attention and can deliver your message without interruption.

 

9. Be the unifying voice: Step in and unify the group’s thoughts to calm down the discussion and insert your point effectively.

 

10. Keep responses concise: Keep responses short and to the point to show respect for others’ time.

 

11. Avoid unnecessary comments: Avoid commenting on everything and only speak when you have something important to say.

 

12. Cut the fluff: Avoid being long-winded and get straight to the point.

 

13. Prepare ahead of time: Sort out your points and practice them before speaking in a group.

 

14. Smile and be positive: Smile and nod along as others speak, to build a positive relationship and be respected when it’s your turn to speak.

 

15. Take responsibility: Take responsibility for your own actions and feelings.

 

16. Ask questions: Ask questions to clarify any confusion or misunderstandings.

 

17. Avoid interrupting: Allow the other person to finish speaking without interruption.

 

18. Practice active listening: Repeat what the other person said to ensure you have understood correctly.

 

19. Use your body language too: Use nonverbal cues such as eye contact, facial expressions, and body language to convey your message and build rapport.

 

20. Be aware of the tone of your voice: it should be calm and assertive, not aggressive or passive.

 

By keeping these tips in mind, you can improve your communication skills and become a more powerful communicator, which can help you build better relationships, achieve your goals, and lead a more fulfilling life.

I you want to learn how to become more confident in life then you can join my weekly mentorship calls and 40+ online workshops at AweBliss.com so you can master your life with more success.

 
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Success Advice

Dead Men Tell No Tales: How to Navigate a Mutiny as a Leader in 10 Steps

You’re the manager. You’re the supervisor. You’re the leader. But maybe your people don’t see it that way

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You’re the manager. You’re the supervisor. You’re the leader. But maybe your people don’t see it that way and perhaps that has created a divisive and adversarial working environment that makes it difficult for you to influence and inspire your team in a way that meets your vision. (more…)

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Success Advice

How to Think Like a CEO for Your Future Success

A blueprint for CEOs to draw a disciplined strategy

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Strategic thinking helps CEOs build successful businesses. It helps them establish everlasting enterprises. It is one of the key elements of decision-making. It is different from strategic leadership. It differentiates between leaders from managers.  (more…)

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Success Advice

How to Focus Your Mind on Your Goals in 2023 Constructively

In this world of distractions due to information overload, it has become a big challenge to focus our minds

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In this world of distractions due to information overload, it has become a big challenge to focus our minds on positive aspects and constructive activities. Sometimes we waste our precious time mentally and physically due to distractions arising out of technology. We must understand our priorities and learn how to focus on them religiously. (more…)

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