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5 Habits Of Highly Persuasive People

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Persuasive People

Life can be really difficult if you don’t know how to influence others. Whether you’re an entrepreneur or professional, your success depends mostly on your ability to get others to do what you want. Unfortunately, many people think that being persuasive is something that only certain people can do.

Because of this, they find themselves in a position where it’s almost impossible to move forward. It’s like they hit a gigantic roadblock and they have no idea how to get around it. We’ve all been there.

If you’re a salesperson or an entrepreneur, you have probably had trouble convincing prospects to become customers. Perhaps you’re a manager who needs to motivate your team to perform better.

Here are the five steps that persuasive people do to get others to do what they want:

1. Encourage others to talk

Contrary to what many think, being persuasive isn’t about being able to make your case effectively. It’s a common mistake. People rush right into telling the prospect why they need to buy into their product, service, or idea.

When you insist on pushing your ideas on your prospect without any concern for their needs or opinions, it will make them less likely to accept what you’re saying. In his book “How To Win Friends And Influence People,” Dale Carnegie says that a key factor in moving others is listening intently to what they have to say.

Here’s why:

  • Showing genuine interest in the other person makes them more likely to open up to you. This will help you understand how your idea will benefit them.
  • The more people talk to you, the more they will trust you. This is important when trying to influence someone.
  • Letting the other person talk is a great way to build rapport and establish a relationship.

The best way to get someone to talk more is to ask more open-ended questions than close-ended questions. Close-ended questions can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.” An open-ended question invites a more detailed answer.

Here’s an example:

  • Close-ended question: Do you like your current cell phone plan?
  • Open-ended question: What do you like about your current cell phone plan?

See the difference? You can get a much more informative answer by using open-ended questions. The more open-ended your questions are, the more your prospect will tell you.

“You get in life what you have the courage to ask for.” – Oprah Winfrey

2. Make others feel important

Everyone wants to feel important right? Of course we do. This means that making people feel important is a great way to get them to like and trust you, which is important when trying to influence others. If you can show the other person that they are important, they are far more likely to be persuaded.

Here’s a few simple ways you can make the people around you feel important:

  • Gratitude: Be sure to let your prospects know that you appreciate them.
  • Genuine interest: The more interested you are in the other person, the more important they will feel.
  • Provide value: Find ways to make the other person’s life easier.

These three things are pretty easy, and yet they are powerful. They show the people around you how much they matter to you. Showing them how much they matter will instantly make you far more persuasive.

 

3. Show passion

Passion is important. Why? Because emotion is one of the primary contributors to the reason we make the decisions we make. Yes, it’s easy to believe the myth that most people base their decisions on rational logic. I know it sounds crazy, but it isn’t true. People act on emotion more than logic. This is where your passion comes in.

Showing your passion about the subject you’re discussing will make you more persuasive. Expressing your ideas with conviction will cause others to share your conviction. After all, nobody will buy an offering that you don’t believe in, right?

Emotions are contagious. The more passion you show, the more your prospects will feel it. They will be far more likely to be influenced by you.

 

4. Effective positioning

The way you begin your conversation will have a deep impact on how the rest of the interaction will go. If you’re going to influence another person, you need to position yourself effectively. You have to open up the conversation in a way that makes you more persuasive.

Here’s some pointers on effective positioning:

  • Benefit: What is the benefit you intend to provide to your prospect?
  • Evidence: How can you prove that your solution will provide this benefit?
  • Positive expectations: Are the expectations you’re setting realistic?

When you’re talking about the benefit, you need to think about the main benefit the prospect will get if they accept your offer. The evidence needs to be something that will build confidence in your prospect. It could be statistics on how your offer does what you say it will do. You could also tell stories about how your offer has worked in the past.

Make sure that the expectations you set for the prospect are high, but realistic. Don’t promise the moon unless you can deliver the moon!

 

5. Invest in others

This goes hand in hand with positioning. You have to make yourself as valuable to others as you can. Zig Ziglar said, “You can have anything you want in life if you help enough people get what they want.” The more willing you are to help people get what they want, the more likely they will be to accept what you’re proposing.

Here’s some ways to become more valuable:

  • Use your expertise to give them helpful advice.
  • If you have connections, see if you can use them to help your prospects get where they want to be. Perhaps there are some doors you can open for your prospects!
  • Give encouragement when it’s needed. Don’t underestimate this one. A positive, encouraging word can be pretty powerful.

The idea is to find as many ways to be helpful as you can. Remember, when you’re influencing others, it’s all about them, not about you.

“Invest in the success of others.” – Albert Einstein 

Contrary to popular belief, persuasion is not something you have to be born with. It’s a skill like any other; it has to be learned and developed over time.

Persuasive people do the 5 things listed in this article, and they do it regularly. If you start practicing these principles today, you will see how much easier it will become to move others.

Which habit is your weakness? How do you plan on strengthening it? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

Jeff Charles is the founder of Artisan Owl Media, which is an Austin-based company that provides sales training for entrepreneurs along with content marketing services. He is passionate about helping “non-salesy” entrepreneurs improve their skills at persuasion and influence. He runs a blog that is dedicated to providing sales tips to entrepreneurs who want to close more deals. He also enjoys spending time with his wife and kids, reading, writing, and all things nerdy. He is an entrepreneur, husband, father, and an avid Star Wars fan.

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10 Comments

10 Comments

  1. Julie Ann Cooper

    Mar 29, 2017 at 1:52 am

    You said that “persuasive people do the 7 things listed in this article” however, only 5 are listed. None the less I got the 5 and working on the approach. It is striking conversations that I need to work on.

  2. Steven Garcia

    Jan 4, 2016 at 5:40 pm

    Thanks for sharing these habits!

  3. Charlene Rhinehart

    Dec 9, 2015 at 7:37 pm

    Great article! “Showing genuine interest in the other person makes them more likely to open up to you.” This is not usually on our solution list when we are trying to influence others. It makes perfect sense. If we listen more, we start to understand what motivates others to take certain actions and we now have the opportunity to speak their language. Thanks for sharing!

    • Jeff Charles

      Dec 10, 2015 at 2:33 am

      Charlene,

      Thanks for the comment! You’re absolutely right. We usually make the mistake of being more concerned about our own wants and interests. It’s a rookie mistake. You can’t influence others if you’re only concerned about getting your way. Instead, we need to focus on what the other person needs and wants. It’s only after we focus on the other person that we can actually get what we want.

      Jeff

  4. Subhan Ahmed

    Dec 8, 2015 at 11:26 am

    Wonderful article with great insights, author also put open-ended question at the end of this article, and truly I am influenced by this post. Thanks Jeff

    • Jeff Charles

      Dec 9, 2015 at 4:12 am

      Hello Subhan,

      Thanks so much for your comment!

      I’ve always believed in using more open-ended questions. They create a much better conversation than close-ended questions.

      Jeff

  5. Evan

    Dec 7, 2015 at 8:27 am

    Jeff,

    Fantastic article bro. You hit on some points I would not have necessarily considered when being persuasive!

    Like Ben Franklin said, “If you are to persuade, use incentive not logic.”

    I would say I need to work on positioning a bit, although after reading a good amount of Peter Drucker, Sam Walton, and other business leaders I’d say it’s more important to start with the strengths and work on improving those. Why build weak points up to average when you could sharpen good to great? (Jim Collins)

    In that case, I am pretty good and making others feel good, motivating and investing in other people to improve what they’ve got going on. I love being a catalyst to other people’s movements while I build up my own as well.

    Keep up the good content!

    – Evan

    • Jeff Charles

      Dec 9, 2015 at 4:07 am

      Hello Evan,

      It is important to work more on your strengths than your weaknesses. However, I’m not so sure that you’re as weak at positioning as you may think…

      Here’s what you wrote about yourself:

      “In that case, I am pretty good and making others feel good, motivating and investing in other people to improve what they’ve got going on. I love being a catalyst to other people’s movements while I build up my own as well.”

      It may need some work, but I think that’s a GREAT positioning statement.

      What if you said something like:

      “I help motivate and inspire people to improve and build their own movements.”

      Since I don’t know exactly what you do, I’m sure you could come up with a better way to say it. But as long as you’re telling your prospect how you can benefit them and why they should believe it, you are positioning yourself well. Let me know if you need more help on this!

      Thanks for your comment!

      Jeff

  6. Gregory Friday

    Dec 7, 2015 at 2:47 am

    Thank you for writing that article. It was very informative and helpful.

    • Jeff Charles

      Dec 7, 2015 at 6:39 am

      Gregory,

      Thanks so much for the comment. I’m glad you liked the article!

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Success Advice

How to Be a Selfless Leader in Your Business

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Leaders are required to make decisions daily that impact the success of the business and its bottom line. Understanding leadership training key terms can offer insight into core values and principles associated with leading people. Leadership training prepares leaders to recognize a variety of leadership styles prevalent in many organizations, the significance of communication, team building, and establishing a vision.

The following 6 key terms are important to building foundational skills in leadership:

1. Leadership style

Leadership style is the process of exploring the methods leaders use to approach guiding human capital in the workplace or on organized projects. It can encompass persuasive presentation skills that inspires trust, integrity, character, positive role modeling and other behaviors useful when working towards a goal.

2. Vision planning

According to leadership experts, a vision is an idealized picture or snapshot of the future, and vision planning is the ability to communicate core values and articulate a sense of direction by implementing a plan as it pertains to this vision. Organizational vision encompasses a strategic plan that generates motivational impact and leads employees to a specific outcome or shared desired goal.

“A great leader’s courage to fulfill his vision comes from passion, not position.” – John Maxwell

3. Team building

Team building is the method a leader chooses to empower a group of people using motivational strategies and guidance to accomplish a specific task. Effective team building must encompass an understanding of organizational culture and the dynamics of teamwork in order to exceed shared goals and objectives.

4. Communication

Communication is the ability to impart and exchange information through the process of listening, writing and speaking. Successful leaders understand that enhancing communication skills not only makes them more effective as leaders, but boosts the company’s success as well.

5. Performance evaluation

An important aspect of leadership training is determining whether the steps taken towards a goal are working. One of the many roles of a successful leader is to appraise or assess the effectiveness of both individual and collective workplace skills and strategies to achieve stated goals.

“A good objective of leadership is to help those who are doing poorly to do well and to help those who are doing well to do even better.” – Jim Rohn

6. Decision making

The term decision making is the process of choosing from several ideas or choices. It’s the practice of targeted determinations that can offer creative problem solving solutions. This is a vital skill in developing potential leaders because it strengthens the use of critical thinking and resourcefulness to make choices on behalf of the company.

How to be a selfless leader in your business organization

Many leaders try to play it safe when leading their business. In other words, they don’t really lead. They are afraid of taking risks and possibly making some people unhappy. It’s important to note that when you own a business, you may make decisions that won’t make everyone happy. Ideally, your culture will be set up so that what you do is transparent and enables people to speak up and share their concerns.

At the same time, people in an organization want their leaders to lead and part of that involves the leader making a passionate commitment to the direction the business needs to go in. When there isn’t clear leadership in a business, then the business is like a ship that is moving in a circle. It’s going nowhere.

A leader must always make it clear that what they are doing is actually serving the best interests of the business as opposed to their own best interests. If people in the organization think that a leader is abusing their position, it can create a toxic situation in the business bringing it down as people leave or sabotage the business.

A leader must be selfless, focused on what will truly benefit the business and the people in it. They must be willing to share the spotlight, instead of taking all the credit and must recognize the value of trusting the talents of the people they work with.

Recently, I was talking with a client of mine. He was having some personnel issues, and I suggested he carefully evaluate the talents of each person involved. After doing that, he made some changes in roles, and the people involved were much happier because they were doing the work that capitalized on their talents.

Throughout this process he was transparent and he made it clear that the changes he was making were for the benefit of the company. Each person involved saw that because the leader was honest and focused on the success of the business. He wasn’t making changes to make it easier for him, but rather making changes that would really help the business succeed. That’s the kind of leadership that is needed when a business undergoes changes or needs to focus on a specific direction.

What does being a selfless leader mean to you? How do you focus on the welfare of your business and show that to the people involved in the business? Share with us below!

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Success Advice

Things You Need to Know to Succeed as a Life Coach

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Becoming a life coach is one of the biggest choices you will ever make. Your choice in this field will change how you treat your spouse, how you empathize with others, and how you manage your business.

When I decided to make life coaching my goal, I had many steps to take before I reached the finish line and I wasn’t quite sure how to motivate myself to get there. I know that I am not the only one who struggles with staying motivated. That’s why I’m sharing with you the secrets that helped me make my dreams a reality.

Dan Sullivan is the founder of The Strategic Coach, a company that helps entrepreneurs grow their businesses. Dan is often considered to be the number one entrepreneurship coach on the planet. If there is anyone who can motivate you to make your dreams a reality and go for gold – it’s him.

Here are the 2 life-changing ideas I learned about becoming a life coach:

1. Keep Selling Yourself

Don’t sell yourself short – but keep selling yourself on your future. Dan Sullivan suggests that the reason why we, as entrepreneurs, can’t focus on achieving our goals is that we haven’t actually sold ourselves on our project or endeavor. I believe this wholeheartedly. We may have listed our pros and cons, we have an ideal outcome, and we may even have a backup plan – but we haven’t truly committed to our goal.

In order to properly take advantage of an opportunity, we must be focused. There is no doubt that we live in a new age of multi-tasking. We watch videos while we respond to e-mails, we’re glued to our phones when we’re out on dates with our spouses – we even have the option to have two multi-tasking windows open on our smart devices so that we can do different things at the same time.

But studies show multitasking accomplishes less in the long-run. Multitasking reduces both our performance and efficiency. Dan suggests instead of trying to do everything at once, sell yourself on three tasks a day. The next day, sell yourself on three more. This will help you to have more focus and drive on what you are doing. You will accomplish more and feel better about fulfilling your goals.

2. The 3 Wins are Everything

Dan suggests that positive focus is everything when it comes to succeeding in business. That’s why he developed “The 3 Wins” mindset. After the day is done and you’re getting ready for bed, focus on three wins you had. By focusing on the three things you did right, you practice gratitude in your personal life. You set goals, reach them, and then celebrate them – no matter how small! This can help you have a more positive mindset going forward.

Dan Sullivan explains, “I would look at tomorrow… and I’d say, ‘Well these are gonna be my three biggest wins for tomorrow’. So, I would go to bed feeling good about the day, excited about the next day, and I would get up the next morning excited. So, then I would go out that day and try to have to three wins, but often times what happened is that I had wins that were bigger than the three I imagined the night before.”

The feeling of accomplishment is addictive. Not only does it feel great to get work done and accomplish our goals, but it encourages us to keep working hard in life. We work hard to grow our business, to maintain a healthy marriage, and to give our clients our best. By focusing on The 3 Wins, we view each day as a new opportunity to stay motivated and achieve something great.

How to Succeed in Becoming a Life Coach

Along with these life-changing ideas, here are some other great tips for anyone who is thinking of becoming a life coach.

1. Rapport is Essential

When you are becoming a life coach, you learn that your ability to have a rapport with your clients is just as important as the chemistry you felt with your spouse when you first started dating. Are you good at striking up a conversation? Do you have a knack for getting people to trust you or open up about their problems? If so, then you will be a natural at building your entrepreneurial business because your ability to connect with your clients is important.

2. Ask the Important Questions

As a life coach, it’s your job to ask the hard questions. This means that you must be intuitive about your client and really get to know and understand their thoughts and intentions. Only then can you help them reach their life goals.

3. Get Comfortable with Silence

Silence between two people can be the most uncomfortable, awkward, cringe-worthy experience, but as a life coach, it’s your job to let it happen anyway. When there is silence, your client will be eager to fill the void, which often leads them to show vulnerability and really work through their issues.

4. Don’t Take Things Personally

Your clients are not always going to gel with you. This may cause them to leave your services. Don’t take it personally. Alternatively, you may have a great rapport with your client, but that doesn’t always mean that they will take your advice. This can be frustrating for you, but don’t let it overwhelm you. Instead, look at it as an opportunity to continue building trust between you and your client.

You can make becoming a life coach a reality. Stay motivated by selling yourself on new ideas and strategies every day. It’s also beneficial to remind yourself of your three wins and always strive to keep growing and getting better. By becoming a life coach, you show people that you care, have an excellent rapport, and aren’t afraid of the hard questions – or the silence!

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Consistency Is the Hidden Power to Your Success

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It’s often difficult to start a new habit or change an old behavior. There are enough books and courses online that will teach you about planning your day, planning your night, organizing your home, filtering through paperwork, and on and on it goes.

In the midst of a lot of busywork, though, there lies what I believe is a hidden secret to anyone’s success. Getting into detail about this secret, though, calls for a little reflection on your part. Look at the people you admire, whether alive or dead. Reading about their successes and failures teaches powerful lessons for life.

People will talk about “getting into a groove” and how it feels good. Writing, for me, comes a lot better when I am in a groove or in the flow. Words and phrases come quite easily because I’m sitting down to have a written conversation with you. By the way, it also helps to have a lot of experience as a writer in the back pocket too.

The Answer Lies Within The Question

What’s the secret?” you keep asking. Look at what you are doing in your life today. In business, are you moving forward or stagnant? Connecting with new leads or looking to keep the wolves at bay by taking anything offered? Are you making time to actually do the work while also having some fun?

When you look at the values and practices of successful businesses and entrepreneurs, the one thing that is obvious is that they have developed a level of consistency in their actions. Did it happen overnight after having an awakening experience? Probably not. It was a lot of little things, done over a period of time, and it produced success.

Consistency in business, relationships, friendships, health, wellness, spirituality…you name it. Staying consistent with your actions will lead to results. Here’s a quick caveat: Make sure these consistent habits and behaviors are healthy and nurturing. It does matter in business that you develop a pattern of consistency which reflects a deep level of appreciation for people in your business or on your team.

“Success isn’t always about greatness. It’s about consistency. Consistent hard work leads to success. Greatness will come.” – Dwayne The Rock Johnson

Time and time again, studies have shown how actually being consistent in showing employees appreciation and gratitude can raise the level of work much higher. If you consistently show up as a little tyrant and liar, then you’re going to get burned. If you consistently show up as someone who reflects humility, gratitude and thankfulness for what is going on in your business and life, then you’ll get more of it.

Like attracts like. It’s just that simple. Consistency is one of the most powerful practices and forces that you can add into your business and life.

Here are three specific suggestions that can help you develop a strong core of consistency today:

1. Start out small

Let’s use a restaurant analogy real quick. You walk into a place and you’re hungry. You look at the menu and see a full-course meal that has everything you love in it. Therefore, you order it. The platter comes and you go, “Oh man, that’s a lot of food.” Eat the whole platter in one sitting and you might have a bellyache later on.

If you looked at the platter, took a little bit and ate that, then you’d have some leftovers. You start out small on the meal, not stuff your face with all the food at once. Same concept with consistency. Start out small on what you want to achieve. Just make a little beginning and follow that path.

2. Take your time

What’s the hurry here? Consistency doesn’t pick up right away if you do a total deep dive into it. You have to take your time and go at your own pace. Look, peeking at what Mr. X or Mrs. L is doing will not help you one bit. Patience and persistence are two little powerful motors to help consistency become a part of your life. Even then, though, you have to take your time. Your time, not someone else’s.

“It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, it’s what we do consistently.” – Tony Robbins

3. Appreciate the journey

While you are on the road to consistency, there are going to be bumps along the way. Just know that going forward. There are two ways to look at this: get frustrated and angry and simply say “nope, this consistency thing isn’t worth it”; or, just continue on the path and appreciate all the stops along the way. Developing a practice of appreciation and gratitude can also play roles in you trusting that level of consistency to appear in your life.

Consistency does equal success. How you define success might be as simple as getting up in the morning and feeling grateful you have a roof over your head, food to eat, and clothes to wear. It might be closing the biggest business deal in your life. It might be looking at your children and knowing they are healthy, well, and happy. It also might be that you survived going through hell in life and made it through just fine.

All it takes is a few consistent actions to change the way you show up in this world. We all need people and examples that remind us about the little secret of consistency. Take your mind off of your phone and out of your laptop sometimes. Look around. You can find these types of success stories all around. They reflect their own results of the power of consistency. Tap into this power today and change your world, along with others too.

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Success Advice

4 Ways You Can Develop Indispensable People as a Business Owner

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In a world where more artificial intelligence, robots and automation are taking over, good employees are beginning to feel less and less indispensable. However, they don’t need to be because robots and AI cannot replace human common sense and authentic, heartfelt engagement. That being said, more and more employers are looking for good employees who want to become great leaders within the organization and are willing to make the investment.

Here are 4 ways organizations can develop indispensable employees:

1. Invest in training & personal development

Personal development is definitely the responsibility of an employee and their own willingness to improve themselves overall. But when you combine that with an employer who is looking to keep quality talent and who sees the tremendous value in assisting their employees growth, the results are incredible.

Statistics show as one of the top three non-financial motivators, 76% of employees want opportunities for career growth. They also show that corporate training has grown to over $70 billion in the United States alone. Companies that do make the investment in their employee’s learning and development tend to lead the way and sustain longevity.

They also become the most sought after places to work for. When you help grow your employees, your employees will help grow your business.

“Clients do not come first. Employees come first. If you take care of your employees, they will take care of the clients.” – Richard Branson

2. Empower them with decision-making abilities

You will find that many companies try to create a “think like an owner” mentality throughout their organizations. While this is a great strategy to implement, it cannot be fully accomplished when an employee does not have the appropriate decision making capabilities.

Companies that empower their employees to make the proper decisions (within reason and to a certain extent), become more effective and efficient as a whole. They are able to provide support to both their internal and external customers without having to wait for longer than needed timeframes to get responses.

Empowering employees through training and mentoring is one of the best practices a company can make. The more power an employee has to make certain decisions, the more sense of ownership is displayed and taken, making it a win-win for everyone.

3. Keep them informed and up to date

A wise man once said, “knowledge is power” so if you want your organization to be a powerful force in your industry, your employees need to be informed. Companies that have an effective system in place to keep employees informed and up to date usually have a higher rate of productivity and success.

Most communication within organizations is only shared within their respective departments where the information is pertinent. But imagine how much more would be able to get done if everyone was aware of what was going on company wide (again to a certain extent). That’s why interdepartmental communication is vital and in order for that to happen, employees need to be kept abreast.

For example, have you ever spoken to different people at a company and have gotten different information? That’ because they are not on the same page or haven’t been informed properly.

If an employee knew “generally speaking” about the happenings in other departments, they may be able to assist the customer base more effectively and avoid unnecessary transfers.

A good way to start this practice of being informed would be to share the company’s wins and losses, successes and failures, and any other significant changes the company may have made. When this happens, everyone is made aware and everyone is on the same page.

“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.” – Tony Robbins

4. Develop a true culture of open communication

Honest and open communication is important in the workplace because it affects the ability of everyone being able to work together (as a team). Many employees don’t engage more frequently when asked to because of fear of being ridiculed and even losing their jobs. Why is it that most employees feel more comfortable expressing themselves during normal team meetings but are more reserved in meetings where upper leaders are present?

Could it be that clear lines of open communication have not been established? Studies show that companies who operate in an open forum style atmosphere have higher levels of employee engagement. Engaged employees are more likely to stay with an organization and in return you have less turnovers.

Creating a culture of true and honest communication also develops confidence in the upper leadership team amongst employees. When the leaders of an organization displays proper and safe two-way communication, it also helps the employees feel like their making a difference and their opinions matter.

Implementing these tips will not only help you to develop indispensable employees but will also increase engagement and sustainability. It will also help you to develop an indispensable team to help take your organization to the next level.

How does your boss encourage you to become better? If you’re the boss, how do you encourage your employees to be more productive? Share your thoughts below!

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