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The 7 Laws For Living an Uncommon Dream

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The 7 Laws For Living an Uncommon Dream

Fulfilling your purpose has never been more important to you than it is right now. You’re on a mission to discover all of who you are and committed to developing your unique contribution to the world.

You surround yourself with super stars, you listen to audiobooks, and you watch inspirational YouTube video daily trying to find ways to improve your life. You my friend are a dreamer with an uncommon dream.

People with uncommon dreams are uniquely wired and accept that they’re here to play a bigger game and by different rules. But not following rules doesn’t omit the fact that there are still laws that play into how far and how fast our dreams come to life, especially uncommon ones.

Here are the 7 laws for living an uncommon dream:

1. Law of persuasion

As a leader it is your responsibility to consistently take what’s in your mind and place it on the hearts of those who follow you. The challenge for many leaders is that they don’t always have a clear plan as to where they are taking people. Not having a well-defined plan is detrimental as a leader because it creates confused people and confused people don’t take action. A strong plan simplifies the complicated and provides a leader with a blueprint for persuasion.

Once a leader is clear on where he or she is leading their followers, the next step is to decide what separates you from the other leaders. Why? It’s simple. If you don’t know your difference then no one can pursue you for your difference.  All dreams, especially uncommon ones, require the emotional, physical and financial support of a community of people. One of the hardest lessons I learned, as a budding entrepreneur, was that many of the people I wanted to lead were not going to care as much about my dream as I did- at least at first.

I discovered that it was my job to be charmingly relentless and persuade others to champion it just as much, if not more than I did. John C. Maxwell stated in, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, “He who calls himself a leader and has no followers is only taking a walk.” What he was saying is give people so much value that they have no choice but to follow you.

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.”​ – Walt Disney

2. Law of focus

Dreamers are inclined to think in layers, textures and colors making concentration their single greatest challenge. The great American author, Mark Twain said it well, “You can’t depend on your focus when your imagination is out of focus.” Your thoughts and ideas must be grounded in something solid – a bigger purpose. You must get good at investing your time and energy in the things and with people who encourage and inspire you to produce results daily.

The uncommon dream demands a remarkable focus. All leaders should design a system that brings them back when they realized their focus has shifted elsewhere. If you don’t have a system here is a 5-Step Process to jump start your focusFind a system that works and stick to it like glue. The reason leaders with uncommon dreams fail is because they’ve allowed temporary circumstances to break their focus.

 

3. Law of respect

The law of respect is simple. You only attract what you respect; you only respect what you see value in. Your value system is much like your taste buds, they tend to evolve over time. Part of living an uncommon dream involves making a great deal of decisions. Each decision you make will do one of two things to your dream, shrink it or stretch it.

Over time you learn to find value in people that can further your mission, in places that nurture you vision and in things that condition your mind to think bigger. Be careful whom you respect when you’re floating low and be cautious whom you disrespect when you’re flying high.

 

4. Law of adversity

If it’s worth having it’s worth almost losing. Challenges are invariably going to show up as you pursue your dream, but only to keep you on top of your game. Dreamers embrace the adversity that comes as a result of following their heart because they recognize that nothing in life happens to them, it happens for them.

Accept adversity as apart of the recipe of an uncommon dream and it will be the thing that propels you into success. Without trials you will not know how to value the people, places and experiences that your dreams will bring into your life. The Law of adversity is as simple or as exhausting as you choose for it to be.

“Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.” ​-Langston Hughes

5. Law of mentorship

A mentor is one of the most valuable resources you are able to tap into. Why? Mentors are carriers of information. The majority of the challenges you are faced with on the day-to-day basis are only a result of not having enough information. Lets take money for example. Who doesn’t want to make more of it? Of course you do! So you do your best to attend the finest university to eventually find a job that will pay you not enough so you take on two or three side jobs and overwhelm yourself to the point of exhaustion. Sound familiar?

The story you make up about yourself at this point is that you have a “financial problem.” False! There is no such thing as financial problem, only a wisdom problem. Mentorship is all you’re missing. The key is to find mentors who are thriving in the areas of your life in which you’d like to improve upon. If you’re reading this article, chances are great you’re a beholder of an uncommon dream and so you have a greater responsibility not only to take on mentors but secondly and most importantly take action on the information that is shared with you.

Some examples of those who have been mentored and mentors to individuals with uncommon dreams: Mahatma Gandhi mentor to Nelson Mandela, Denzel Washington mentored by Sidney Poitier, Christian Dior mentor to Yves Saint Laurent, Michelle Robinson mentor to Barack Obama, Ralph Waldo Emerson mentor to Henry David Thoreau, Audrey Hepburn mentor to Elizabeth Taylor and the list goes on. When are you going to join the greats?

 

6. Law of questions

There is no such thing as a stupid question. I know you’ve heard that before! Still to not ask questions is just silly of you. Questions are not just good for finding answers, but also allow you to access resources, solve problems, reach agreements, demonstrate humility, eliminate confusion and acquire knowledge. To make an uncommon dream come true you have to get good at asking uncommon questions- that only make sense, right? Here are some brave and interesting questions I invite you to ask people you come into contact with.

 

7. Law of relationships

What if I were to promise you that you are only one relationship away from everything you’ve ever wanted in life? Well, its true. Relationships are everything, but not all relationships are created equal. Human beings are genetically wired to be in relationship and connect with one another; the challenge is connecting with the right people, your people. Uncommon dreams are much like small children, the environment in which they are raised in largely determines how much they develop or don’t develop.

The fundamental reason why uncommon dreams are not realized is because we choose to spend too much time with “not our people.” What’s important to keep in mind is that sometimes you don’t actually find your people, they find you. They will be the ones who celebrate your differences, who speak life into in every interaction and most importantly they are conscious of creating an environment for your uncommon dream to thrive.

Here is a video to go along with the article:

​JuVan is redefining what it means to be a man. Creator of The Original YouTube Vlog Series entitled Thought Life and the Founder of The Elevated Man Coaching​ Program, JuVan produces content and leads provocative conversations that teach men how to build powerful and purposeful relationships starting with themselves. Find him online juvanlangford.com + Subscribe to Thought Life The Vlog Series and never miss a post!

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8 Comments

8 Comments

  1. Stephen Osoko

    Jan 19, 2016 at 10:49 pm

    “Your thoughts and ideas must be grounded in something solid – a bigger purpose.”
    This is so true.
    Without this, we are making any progress.

  2. JuVan Langford

    Nov 19, 2015 at 4:17 am

    Hi Elise,

    Thank you or taking a moment to watch the video. Hopefully you liked it enough to subscribe to the channel and share as well. What is the name of your business!? Perhaps there is an opportunity to collaborate in the future! Add me to social media and remind me of this convo! 🙂

  3. vikash Sharma

    Nov 16, 2015 at 3:21 pm

    Hi Juvan,

    Thanks a lot for providing such an awesome article on “Living an Uncommon Dream”. I believe DREAMING IS EVERYTHING.

    I love and agree all your points especially about “Law of Mentorship”. Without mentors we can not measure our growth. A mentor is the person who can guide us on every step and provide us with the knowledge we require to fulfill all of our dreams.

    Overall an awesome article 🙂

    • JuVan Langford

      Nov 19, 2015 at 4:51 am

      Vikash!!

      Love your message, bro! Mentorship is everything and everything is mentorship! Hope you had a chance to head over to youtube and catch some more amazing content – I Make It For People Like Us Who Are Committed To Transforming Our Lives. Catch you soon!

  4. Nick Scuderi

    Nov 16, 2015 at 2:18 pm

    I feel like questioning is very important. If you don’t understand something we need to learn and educate ourselves about it. Knowledge really is power, so once you receive answers more questions will be exposed. Learning is a never ending process.

    • JuVan Langford

      Nov 16, 2015 at 6:50 pm

      I couldn’t agree with you more! Question are what open the doors to the good stuff. Happy you enjoyed the article and hope you get a chance to check out the vlog series on YouTube – lots of good video content there, bro!

  5. Elisa

    Nov 16, 2015 at 1:15 pm

    Hi JuVan,
    I totally agree with your speech. Your videos are uplifting and inspiring.
    Great job!!
    I am like you. I had my own business. Now I am in the transition of sharing my own story, to women, in particular.
    I love how you constructed your dynamic video!
    Kind regards,
    Elise

    • JuVan Langford

      Nov 19, 2015 at 4:59 am

      Hi Elise,

      Thank you or taking a moment to watch the video. Hopefully you liked it enough to subscribe to the channel and share as well. What is the name of your business!? Perhaps there is an opportunity to collaborate in the future! Add me to social media and remind me of this convo! 🙂

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Life

8 Things You Can Do to Rise Above Failure and Attain Success

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Highly successful people have tasted failure more than success. Whether its Nikola Tesla or Michael Jordan, everyone had his/her fair share of failures before rising to the pinnacle of success. Yet, most people I know are averse to the idea of failure.

When ambition fuels your desires, you become so conscious about avoiding failure that you forget to learn how to cope with it when you actually experience it. So, when you come face-to-face with adversity, it often overwhelms you.

This brings us to the question, how can you train yourself to overcome these difficulties and use them to your advantage? Here’s how:

1. Acceptance is important to overcome failure

When the going gets tough, one of the most frustrating things you may get to hear is “stay positive.” The idea of positive thinking has been misconstrued, misused, and abused continuously. Contrary to popular belief, positive thinking has nothing to do with smiling and being happy with everything that happens to you all the time. Anyone who preaches that is either lying or crazy.

Use positive thinking to learn, grow, and evolve from the experiences we gather in life. Positive thinking simply means that if you are faced with a setback, you work hard to overcome the challenges. When you experience hardships, it is alright to feel upset and disappointed. Our objective, however, is not to stay down.

2. Be honest with yourself

The most crucial part of dealing with a failure involves pausing for a couple of minutes and pondering over what happened. You need to be completely honest with yourself on why it happened.

It is easy to pull out the Smartphone, turn on the laptop or find other forms of distraction. Most people would do anything to distract themselves and keep their eyes shut to the mistakes they have made.

However, if you don’t confront, you don’t learn. And if you don’t learn, then you are setting yourself up for failure again. Albert Einstein famously stated that it was insane to do the same thing over and over again and expect a different outcome. If you don’t derive a lesson out of mistakes and failures in life, then you are doomed to keep repeating them, whether you realise it or not.

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” – Henry Ford

3. Don’t beat yourself up over a temporary setback

When you have experienced a setback, many of you may succumb to the feeling that you’ll always keep failing. It is easy to convince yourself that you are indeed a failure. Don’t let such destructive ideas or thoughts creep into your head. Instead, keep reminding yourself that just because you failed today, it doesn’t mean you’d fail the next time as well.

It is also important that you treat your failure as a passing phase. When you keep moving forward, focus on the right things, and keep learning. Perceiving the setback as a temporary phase rather than something permanent is vital to developing an optimistic attitude in life.

4. Focus on nurturing and improving yourself

Failures don’t discriminate, and it comes to everyone at some point. The trick lies in learning to deal with it and what you do about it that makes all the difference. In many cases, failure happens because a person wasn’t prepared, didn’t invest time on planning or was ill-equipped. It can also be because Lady Luck decided not to shower her favours.

Except for the last one, the rest of the issues can be fixed. Prepare a list of all the things that you think resulted in your failure. Start working on them one at a time. Do everything in your capacity to rectify, improve, resolve, and develop.

5. Find inspiration and support in abundance

Interacting with someone close can be more helpful than you think. You can also learn from people who have been through similar situations and have achieved what you hope to. Gain insights on how they managed to sail through the setbacks or low-points before and during the moment of success.

Or you can gain the motivation or enthusiasm by listening to someone else from an audiobook or podcast for maybe 30-60 minutes. It doesn’t have to be focused on your current setbacks.  Change your mood and mindset back towards optimism again.

6. Adopt a constructive approach and learn from the adverse situation

Consider it as valuable feedback and take home something you can implement in the process of overcoming your failure. The following are some of the questions you need to ask yourself:

  • What is the lesson for me?
  • How can I rectify myself to avoid making the same mistake and do better next time?
  • What can I do to enjoy guaranteed success?

You don’t need to rush through the process. Some of the answers may be immediate, while others might take an hour, a day or even a week to pop up. The significant thing is to start thinking about the situation from this perspective. Also, you need to be constructive about things rather than getting stuck with denial, negativity and apathy.

7. Stop mulling over and move on

Processing the situation and accepting it is the ideal way to deal with failures. Any individual who has experienced failures will know that it is quite easy to stay stuck in the loop of similar thoughts. In fact, this may go around and around for weeks or even months.

Now, in order to be free from this trap, the one habit that might help you is the set of questions like the ones shared above. You can also create a rough plan for how you wish to move forward from here. So, take some time to sit down and write them down.

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill

8. Purge out all the negativity

Another impactful way to handle the emotional meltdown and the thoughts that emerge from experiencing failure is to purge out all the negativity. In order to let everything out, you need to confide in someone close to you. There are two ways to go about it: Engaging in a conversation with someone will allow you to see it from a different perspective. The person you talk to can assist you in grounding yourself in reality again and motivate you to look for a way forward.

Or you can simply vent about it while the other person who is listening can sort things out for you. He/she can help you accept what happened and boost your spirit by instilling a sense of hope.

The significant thing to remember is that while you can’t stop obstacles from appearing in life, you can devise smart ways to handle them. If you persevere, you can easily discover opportunities that have been waiting for you on the other side. Now, as you become more efficient at dealing with the failures, you will allow yourself to see the positive side in even the toughest of scenarios.

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Life

How Stress Can Actually Improve the Quality of Your Life

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Naturally, those of us who experience less stress in our lives are more likely to succeed. So, it’s important that you learn how to reduce your daily level of stress, right? Maybe not. Recent research has shown the common wisdom about stress might be dangerously inaccurate. Psychologists tracked the health of 30,000 adults in the United States over an 8-year period. Participants were asked two important questions:

1.    “How much stress have you experienced in the last year?”
2.    “Do you believe stress is harmful to your health?” (more…)

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Life

The Truth About the Law of Attraction

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When we want something, we generally imagine the form it will take when it manifests. If we’re not careful, however, we can find ourselves attached more to the imagined form than the actual desired outcome. This is like placing an online order and expecting it to come in a blue box shipped by UPS. If we then receive a red box delivered by FedEx, we might not realize that it’s what we ordered, and never even open it!

For example, most of us say that we want money, but when money comes in the form of a free coffee or a gift or a discount, we don’t see it for what it is. We overlook it, and maybe we even say “No, thanks” and decline the gift which is, in one way or another, still money. In doing so, we fail to appreciate the value of the discount, the gift, or the freebie. If it isn’t cash being handed to us, we don’t see it as a manifestation of our desire.

The law of attraction is a funny thing.

It is much more complex and much more intricate than what it seems to be and yet, at the same time, it’s so very simple: We always get what we want. We always receive more of the energy at which we vibrate. Always.

However, if we’re acting from the energy of “I don’t deserve it” or “I don’t think I’m worthy,” then whatever it is that we receive will be negated and essentially unseen. On the other hand, if we are open, observant, and maintaining an abundance mindset, we will receive our request on numerous levels and from plentiful sources!

“Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” – Napoleon Hill

This is because we “place our order” not only through our words, but through our actions, our beliefs, and our thoughts.

Last month, I was open to receiving a new client. I didn’t know how it would happen, but I’d set my intention: I was going to get a new client. That night, out of nowhere, I got a message from an old student of mine. She was looking to hire me again as her coach for the upcoming college entrance exams in the U.S. But wait! I didn’t want an entrance exam client.

What I actually wanted was to get life and business coaching clients. This student was my “red box from Fed Ex.” I wanted to decline at first, but as I was about to reply, something made me stop. I asked myself, “Why am I rejecting this?”

This student is an amazing client. She pays on time. She’s not needy. She does her part. Best of all? She doesn’t short-change me. So I said yes, because I realized that the Universe was simply responding to the essence of my desire.

You see, my “Big Why” in everything I do has always been to facilitate an accelerated personal and business growth for my clients, and this student fit the bill in every way. She wanted the personal growth, she was ready to go all in and she reached out to me.

It didn’t look like the package I was expecting so I didn’t recognize it at first—and I nearly turned it away—but she was the perfect answer to my request.

Serving people like her has always been a driving force in my life.

The Universe knows that. It also knew that I wanted a client asap so that I could re-invest the money into my business, so it responded in the most ideal way… but in an unexpected form. And I came so close to missing it!

How many times have I missed other opportunities like this? How many times have I dismissed a “red box” because it wasn’t “blue?” I’ll never know. But I do know that, had I not stopped myself from sending a “No, thanks,” I would have felt as though the Universe wasn’t listening.

That’s the thing: the Universe is always listening.

The more open we are in receiving, the more we thrive. The more open our energy is, the greater the possibilities. Don’t just return that red box to the post office and keep waiting on a blue one. Ask yourself, first and foremost, if what you’re receiving at the moment matches up with your underlying desire.

See yourself living in abundance and you will attract it.” – Rhonda Byrne

The key is to be willing to receive anything and everything. How? Keep on reading1

1. Get clear on your “underlying desire.”

Identify exactly what it is that you really want—in my case, it was an ideal client (underlying) as opposed to a coaching client (surface)—and focus on that. Clear out all the mental noise and static that clouds your awareness.

2. Be flexible

Keep your eyes and mind open for anything that fits the description. When you ask for money, recognize that free coffee for what it is: $3 you were going to spend anyway, that can now remain in your pocket. Every penny on the ground, every coupon, it’s all money.

3. Keep an attitude of gratitude.

The more you appreciate what you have, the more that comes your way. Your grateful mindset opens the energetic door for more to flow your way, because “where attention goes, energy flows.” The more you focus on the things you want, the more you will draw them into your experience.

Remember, that the Universe responds to our requests in whatever way fits best within the big picture.

It’s a picture so big that we couldn’t possibly begin to see how it comes together. Trust it. Know that when you ask, you will receive. It may not come in the form you anticipate, but always in a form that responds to your underlying desire. You just have to be ready to see it.

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Life

7 Simple Ways to Master Your Emotions When Making Decisions

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A lot of people have big regrets when lying on their deathbed. These regrets are often related to bad decisions or decisions not taken. Thus, as it turns out, decision-making is dependent on great self-confidence. A person who has confidence in their decisions has an easier time making them.

Emotions also play a big role in all of this. This is a debate that has confronted two great thinkers. According to Descartes, “decisions are the product of the rational mind.” In other words, decision-making is essentially based on facts and mathematics.

But this thesis was refuted and proven to be wrong by Antonio Damasio in one of his works called “The Error of Descartes”. This was partly based on the story of Elliott, a kid that was very smart, who had above average rational capabilities, but incapable of making a decision, after a surgery to remove a brain tumor on the surface of his frontal lobes. After all his work in that matter, he concludes that a person who is incapable of emotion is incapable of making the most rational decisions.

The management of emotions is therefore completely inherent to good decision making, especially when making the most important decisions. To this end, here are 7 tips to put into practice to really master your emotions thus making the best decisions possible and never regreting them.

1. Take a step back

You must learn to take the time to identify and understand your emotions. Since physical reactions are emotionally related, also take the time to detect the reactions you have to some of your emotions. To be able to take the distance necessary to make decisions, it’s important to refer to your prefrontal cortex. This is the area of ​​the brain responsible for reasoning. To do so you need to put yourself in a stress-free environment for a few minutes.

“Your life changes the moment you make a new, congruent and committed decision.” – Tony Robbins

2. Breathe

The best way to do this is to learn to breathe deeply. This will allow activating your prefrontal cortex again, therefore, to have better control of your emotions so you do not react to them, let alone to the event that causes these emotions. Do this exercise for at least 15 minutes. It’s amazing how you can train yourself never to react, no matter what the situation. Ideally, let at least 24 hours go by before responding to a situation that would normally cause tension.

3. Pay attention

Once you are in the prefrontal cortex, put one hand on your abdomen, at the level of your intestines, and the other hand on your heart, and take the time to listen. These two parts of the body are the two major centers of vibrations and emotions. This is why it’s important to listen and pay attention to them.

The purpose of this exercise is to become aware of your gut and heart. What you need to remember is that the only person you need to trust is yourself. By practicing this exercise, one thing will become very clear: what the emotion you feel seeks to convey to you about the decision you have to make.

Since everything is energy, first make sure that the vibration of the decision you are about to make and that of your heart and gut are in sync. You will then know whether to go ahead with your decision or reject it based on whether you feel serenity or heaviness.

4. Discern untruths

It is important to know whether your nervousness is the result of an untruth you’ve told yourself. These can corrupt the vibrations that should help you make the right decision. You have to throw out all of these untruths and come to the decision-making without any filter. Stop thinking that you’re unlucky, that you’re in a bad situation, that your life is a failure, or that you are a victim.

5. Become aware of your emotions instead of avoiding them

To become aware of your emotions, you must learn to coach yourself. Ask yourself questions: How did you feel the last time you had to ask these types of questions? What did you get in return? Rename what you felt and the result you obtained from what you decided to do. You will thus be much better at assimilating, understanding, and welcoming your emotions.

6. Be as present as possible

There is no point in focusing on the big events surrounding the decision you want to make. Concentrate instead on the present moment, without analyzing the events. Judge based on emotions rather than the event. By being more present, you will be better able to listen to your emotions and feel them.

Life is a matter of choices, and every choice you make makes you.” – John C. Maxwell

7. Make your emotions your allies

Each of your emotions speaks to you through the physical and physiological reactions that they generate in you. Look to the weight of their impact on you as an indicator. Only by listening to them, using them, and managing them can you manage your emotions.

Habit comes with practice. With time, these 7 points will become much more natural and will become automatic. You will make better decisions for yourself.  This is one of the best ways to not end up with one of the big regrets.

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