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The 7 Laws For Living an Uncommon Dream

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The 7 Laws For Living an Uncommon Dream

Fulfilling your purpose has never been more important to you than it is right now. You’re on a mission to discover all of who you are and committed to developing your unique contribution to the world.

You surround yourself with super stars, you listen to audiobooks, and you watch inspirational YouTube video daily trying to find ways to improve your life. You my friend are a dreamer with an uncommon dream.

People with uncommon dreams are uniquely wired and accept that they’re here to play a bigger game and by different rules. But not following rules doesn’t omit the fact that there are still laws that play into how far and how fast our dreams come to life, especially uncommon ones.

Here are the 7 laws for living an uncommon dream:

1. Law of persuasion

As a leader it is your responsibility to consistently take what’s in your mind and place it on the hearts of those who follow you. The challenge for many leaders is that they don’t always have a clear plan as to where they are taking people. Not having a well-defined plan is detrimental as a leader because it creates confused people and confused people don’t take action. A strong plan simplifies the complicated and provides a leader with a blueprint for persuasion.

Once a leader is clear on where he or she is leading their followers, the next step is to decide what separates you from the other leaders. Why? It’s simple. If you don’t know your difference then no one can pursue you for your difference.  All dreams, especially uncommon ones, require the emotional, physical and financial support of a community of people. One of the hardest lessons I learned, as a budding entrepreneur, was that many of the people I wanted to lead were not going to care as much about my dream as I did- at least at first.

I discovered that it was my job to be charmingly relentless and persuade others to champion it just as much, if not more than I did. John C. Maxwell stated in, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, “He who calls himself a leader and has no followers is only taking a walk.” What he was saying is give people so much value that they have no choice but to follow you.

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.”​ – Walt Disney

2. Law of focus

Dreamers are inclined to think in layers, textures and colors making concentration their single greatest challenge. The great American author, Mark Twain said it well, “You can’t depend on your focus when your imagination is out of focus.” Your thoughts and ideas must be grounded in something solid – a bigger purpose. You must get good at investing your time and energy in the things and with people who encourage and inspire you to produce results daily.

The uncommon dream demands a remarkable focus. All leaders should design a system that brings them back when they realized their focus has shifted elsewhere. If you don’t have a system here is a 5-Step Process to jump start your focusFind a system that works and stick to it like glue. The reason leaders with uncommon dreams fail is because they’ve allowed temporary circumstances to break their focus.

 

3. Law of respect

The law of respect is simple. You only attract what you respect; you only respect what you see value in. Your value system is much like your taste buds, they tend to evolve over time. Part of living an uncommon dream involves making a great deal of decisions. Each decision you make will do one of two things to your dream, shrink it or stretch it.

Over time you learn to find value in people that can further your mission, in places that nurture you vision and in things that condition your mind to think bigger. Be careful whom you respect when you’re floating low and be cautious whom you disrespect when you’re flying high.

 

4. Law of adversity

If it’s worth having it’s worth almost losing. Challenges are invariably going to show up as you pursue your dream, but only to keep you on top of your game. Dreamers embrace the adversity that comes as a result of following their heart because they recognize that nothing in life happens to them, it happens for them.

Accept adversity as apart of the recipe of an uncommon dream and it will be the thing that propels you into success. Without trials you will not know how to value the people, places and experiences that your dreams will bring into your life. The Law of adversity is as simple or as exhausting as you choose for it to be.

“Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.” ​-Langston Hughes

5. Law of mentorship

A mentor is one of the most valuable resources you are able to tap into. Why? Mentors are carriers of information. The majority of the challenges you are faced with on the day-to-day basis are only a result of not having enough information. Lets take money for example. Who doesn’t want to make more of it? Of course you do! So you do your best to attend the finest university to eventually find a job that will pay you not enough so you take on two or three side jobs and overwhelm yourself to the point of exhaustion. Sound familiar?

The story you make up about yourself at this point is that you have a “financial problem.” False! There is no such thing as financial problem, only a wisdom problem. Mentorship is all you’re missing. The key is to find mentors who are thriving in the areas of your life in which you’d like to improve upon. If you’re reading this article, chances are great you’re a beholder of an uncommon dream and so you have a greater responsibility not only to take on mentors but secondly and most importantly take action on the information that is shared with you.

Some examples of those who have been mentored and mentors to individuals with uncommon dreams: Mahatma Gandhi mentor to Nelson Mandela, Denzel Washington mentored by Sidney Poitier, Christian Dior mentor to Yves Saint Laurent, Michelle Robinson mentor to Barack Obama, Ralph Waldo Emerson mentor to Henry David Thoreau, Audrey Hepburn mentor to Elizabeth Taylor and the list goes on. When are you going to join the greats?

 

6. Law of questions

There is no such thing as a stupid question. I know you’ve heard that before! Still to not ask questions is just silly of you. Questions are not just good for finding answers, but also allow you to access resources, solve problems, reach agreements, demonstrate humility, eliminate confusion and acquire knowledge. To make an uncommon dream come true you have to get good at asking uncommon questions- that only make sense, right? Here are some brave and interesting questions I invite you to ask people you come into contact with.

 

7. Law of relationships

What if I were to promise you that you are only one relationship away from everything you’ve ever wanted in life? Well, its true. Relationships are everything, but not all relationships are created equal. Human beings are genetically wired to be in relationship and connect with one another; the challenge is connecting with the right people, your people. Uncommon dreams are much like small children, the environment in which they are raised in largely determines how much they develop or don’t develop.

The fundamental reason why uncommon dreams are not realized is because we choose to spend too much time with “not our people.” What’s important to keep in mind is that sometimes you don’t actually find your people, they find you. They will be the ones who celebrate your differences, who speak life into in every interaction and most importantly they are conscious of creating an environment for your uncommon dream to thrive.

Here is a video to go along with the article:

​JuVan is redefining what it means to be a man. Creator of The Original YouTube Vlog Series entitled Thought Life and the Founder of The Elevated Man Coaching​ Program, JuVan produces content and leads provocative conversations that teach men how to build powerful and purposeful relationships starting with themselves. Find him online juvanlangford.com + Subscribe to Thought Life The Vlog Series and never miss a post!

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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