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The 3 Elements of Persuasion You Need to Know




Have you ever wondered how to ethically use persuasion to motivate people to think, say, and do the things that you want them to do? Having great communication skills is an essential skill for anyone in business. Oftentimes, the way you communicate is responsible for winning and losing.

We must discover the needs of others and connect these needs with the benefit of our product and service. Top sales people build trust fast by establishing rapport and making their customers feel understood.

There are two types of persuasion:

Direct Persuasion is telling someone what to do, how to act, what do say, etc.

Indirect Persuasion involves non-obvious motivators that help someone make the decision themselves where you appear uninvolved.

Humans are self-motivating machines and persuasion is NUDGING the person towards your opinion. We want to collaborate with people in a way that helps them and helps us. To do this, you must show that by helping themselves, they will also help you.

If you become an expert in speaking in terms of the other person’s interests then you are going to be wildly persuasive and authentic at the same. If you are trying to get over on people they will sniff it out. Genuinely provide value and speak in terms of the other person’s interests and they will be more easily persuaded for the desired action that you require.

These are things that motivate someone’s choice or behavior. They are outside ourselves and are often tangible. They can be monetary or an experience. An incentive is something you receive physically or emotionally for completing the desired outcome.

There is always an incentive whether it is hidden or obvious. If we can understand people’s incentives then we can speak in terms of their interest. The best persuasion tactic is aligning the incentives with the goal that connect the motivator with the outcome. Something beautiful happens if you can do this extremely well. You can never talk about a person’s incentive too much.

If you can align your incentives with the incentives of the other person then you create a true win-win situation that allows you both to maximize success. If you can find this intersection of incentives then you will see you consistently shine in negotiations and regularly create situations of growth.

Motivators are the engines inside us. Unlike incentives, motivators are things that affect us deep in our spirit. Motivators go in only two directions: toward the things we want OR away from the things we don’t want.

An important fact to note is that motivation away from pain is about twice as powerful as motivation towards pleasure. We will do and risk twice as much to avoid losing something than we are to gain something. Desire and fear are the foundational characteristics in these motivations.

Here are some examples of using motivators successfully:

These motivators are merely examples of the types of phrases you can use. More importantly familiarize with the structure of moving people away from pain and towards pleasure.

Decision makers happen unconsciously and then later we realize that we made a decision. This is why building rapport is so important. Rapport is the connection you need to establish a personal relationship. If the relationship is established then it’s much easier to accomplish your desired outcome. Avoid being ambiguous. People do not like situations when they are unsure of what the implications may be.

It’s important to help people clearly see the same outcome that you do. If you can co-create the ideal result then you will build a bond of trust that aids in the decision making process.

These 3 elements of persuasion are pivotal information. You can apply this knowledge right now by creating win-win situations, painting the picture of what they stand to lose rather than what they are aiming to win and building rapport from their interests, desires and fears.

Rob Fajardo is 23 year old Thought Leader from NJ. He founded a brand called Leave Normal Behind, a content, community, and events hub for purpose driven people. The mission of LNB is to bring together purpose driven people and inspire them to become the best versions of themselves by creating things that matter and encouraging others to do the same. He is also the viral marketing mastermind behind fidget spinners (check @fidget360 on IG) and helped Gerard Adams, Co-Founder of Elite Daily, establish the executive team at Fownders responsible for building the Seed-2-Scale program there. If you want to get connect with Rob you can email him

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Success Advice

Mindful Productivity: How Top Achievers Combine Focus and Balance

By being aware of your emotions, thoughts, and surroundings, you can work with your internal and external environments



Mindful productivity

Your big-dream goals matter … but not at the expense of your health. (more…)

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Change Your Mindset

The Art of Convincing: 10 Persuasion Techniques That Really Work

The knack for persuading others can act as a catalyst for change, open doors, forge alliances, and effect positive change



how to be more persuasive

Persuasion is not as complicated as it may sound. In fact, it is something that we have been practicing since childhood. Do you remember convincing your parents to let you skip school, asking your teacher not to assign homework, or persuading your boss to give you a day off? Well, these are just small examples of what persuasion looks like. (more…)

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Success Advice

5 Steps to Leveraging Industry Speaker Events for Career Advancement

Jumping into industry events is a smart move for your career, but there’s a knack to it



How to advance your career by networking

Jumping into industry events is a smart move for your career, but there’s a knack to it. It’s not just about sitting in a room full of people. You’ve got to find the ones that fit your career puzzle, dive in while you’re there, and then make the most of what you’ve learned afterward. (more…)

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Success Advice

Overcoming Plateaus: 6 Powerful Strategies for Breakthrough Success

A plateau is not a full stop; it’s a comma that allows you to pause, reflect, and shift gears



how to overcome obstacles for success

In the pursuit of personal and professional growth, plateaus are inevitable. They appear when progress seems to halt, despite your continuous efforts. But remember, a plateau is not a full stop; it’s a comma that allows you to pause, reflect, and shift gears. This article provides six powerful strategies to overcome plateaus and achieve breakthrough success.

1. Find Out the Root Cause

When facing a plateau, there is likely something causing you to sabotage your progress. Identify the root cause. What is sabotaging your progress? Examine your daily routine and how you spend your time. Are you wasting time on unnecessary activities? Or are you taking on too many tasks that you can’t handle?

Often, adding more tasks overloads your already tight routine and distracts you from focusing on the most important tasks. Therefore, often eliminating unnecessary activity will work to overcome plateaus. However, be cautious of not doing things right, such as tasks you have not yet undertaken or missing something. What actions do you need to take or improve to achieve your goal? Are you avoiding them, or have you not started yet?

2. Never Tolerate Problems

Once you’ve identified the root cause, never tolerate problems. If you tolerate them, you’ll end up staying stuck. You get what you tolerate. Once you recognize the problem you’re facing, never tolerate it. Instead, address and improve the situation.

3. Focus on a 100% Solution and 0% Problems

To overcome a challenge, it’s essential to plan how to get through it. Yet, people often find themselves asking, ‘Why is it bad?’ or ‘What is wrong with it?’ Questions of this nature limit our thinking, leading our brains to generate responses like ‘Because you’re not good enough’ or ‘Everything is wrong with you.’ These limited answers tend to resonate with the situation and drag you down further.

Instead, ask empowering questions without limits, such as ‘What is not perfect yet, and how can I turn things around while making a more positive impact?’ By asking unlimited empowering questions, you’ll shift your focus from the problem to the solution. Additionally, you will also notice that asking empowering questions can expand available options and allow you to see from an angle you couldn’t see before.

Focusing on problems rarely yields positive outcomes. The key to positive results lies in concentrating on the solution. The next time you face adversity and notice getting caught by unresourceful thoughts, snap out of it and direct your focus to a 100% solution and 0% problems.

“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.” – Henry Ford

4. Cultivate Success-Driven Traits

Identify the traits you need to have and get rid of to become the person you aspire to be. Consider your specific goals – for instance, attracting positive relationships. To achieve this, note down the traits you need to embrace, such as being open-minded, gentle, healthy, and treating others the way you want to be treated.

Cultivate a positive mindset. Simultaneously, get rid of traits like criticizing others, having a short temper, and engaging in unhealthy habits like taking drugs.

Learn from individuals who have achieved similar goals. Study their traits, both the ones they have and those they’ve consciously avoided. Implement these traits to align with the person you want to become.

Once you have your lists of traits to embrace and eliminate, diligently follow them. Place the list on your desk or the door of your room, ensuring you read it at least once a day to reinforce your commitment to these traits.

5. Track Your Habits

Carry a notepad to track your habits throughout the day, especially those contributing to plateaus, as well as your new habits or traits aligned with achieving your goals. For instance, if your root cause is excessive internet use, record instances of mindless scrolling on social media. Note when you engage, the emotional state prompting it, and the approximate duration.

Calculate the total minutes wasted at the end of the day. This habit tracking makes you aware of the emotions triggering these behaviors (stress, boredom, and frustration) and the time wasted.

Additionally, track positive new habits, like reading good books and exercising. Document what you’ve learned from the book and the time spent exercising. This practice helps you build new positive habits by enabling you to compare today’s results with those from yesterday or a week ago. 

Moreover, consistently sticking to new habits for around 18 months transforms them into lifelong habits. Even if you take breaks, you will find yourself naturally returning to those habits.

6. See Obstacles as Opportunities

Every obstacle can be an opportunity to turn things around. If the economy is in a downturn, it’s time to recognize it as an opportunity to thrive while everyone else is struggling and focused on the problem. If someone makes fun of you or causes you trouble, ask yourself, ‘What can I learn from this experience?’

Alternatively, consider that the person underrating you is setting low expectations, which are easier to exceed. If your business receives a bad review from a customer, see it as free feedback that guides you on how to improve and take your business to the next level.

Always try to see different angles that others may overlook. This perspective can reveal aspects you might be missing. When you view a problem as an opportunity, it has the potential to foster growth.

In the journey toward success, plateaus are just temporary pauses, not dead ends. So, keep moving, keep growing, and make your breakthrough.

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