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7 Habits of People Who Follow Their Dreams

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habits to follow your dreams

Once upon a time, I had a dream. It was a dream to write and be read by people around the world, like many of my favorite bloggers and authors. Yet, I could never get started on this project. I thought it was something that I would do some day later.

I could become a writer after a lifetime of working and after I retired, I thought to myself. There was much more time to write when I had more time, more finances and more creativity. It would take me awhile to improve my writing. I would have to take some writing classes.

These were some of the many thoughts that floated around my mind as I contemplated a life of writing. Then, one day, I decided to make the plunge and started writing. I gave myself permission to start writing that day. I told myself that I would work on an ebook and if I could write and complete one, then I would show myself that yes, I could write and yes, I could write now.

When I completed that ebook, I realized, holy Stephen King, I am a writer! I had the ability, the desire and now the completed work to show myself that I could indeed work on my writing today.

Do you have a dream that’s been floating around in your heart? Here are 7 habits of people who follow their dreams:

1. Give yourself permission

You don’t have to wait for permission. You don’t need it from someone else. You don’t have to fear if you’re not an authority, expert or have experience in your dream. You will learn as you need to and be guided on the journey. You have to be willing to realize that you are worthy when it comes to following your dream and that you deserve to start today. You are the only person whose permission you need to get started.

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

2. See fears and move past them

When you see a dream, you likely will see the uncertainties and doubts that come along with the dream. Instead of allowing your dreams to paralyze you, use your fears as a starting point. The biggest fear than the fear of pursuing your dreams should be the fear of regret and not starting. Use your fears to inspire and move you forward. Fear means you’re onto something, big, exciting and challenging. You conquer your fears by taking each one on at a time. Each fear you move past prepares you to face the next one.

 

3. Take small steps daily

The big dreams you have don’t happen overnight. You can’t materialize a dream without preparation work or patience. The people who  achieve their dreams work on it consistently. You don’t have to do everything in a day either. Work on your dream at your own pace but make progress on it daily. Think of one thing today you can do to further your dream. You may not start today but you can do something small today to progress your dream.

 

4. Ignore society’s chatter

It’s easy to lose your dream to “reality” or “practicality”. All your dream-crushers out there, friends and family, will use code words to discourage you from your dream.  They will insist you follow society’s dream: college, advanced degree, stable job, family and home in the suburbs. That’s the tried and true path for success, they’ll tell you. If it’s not a path that will make you happy and that’s not your dream, you have to ignore the naysayers. Instead, listen to yourself. Your intuition will be your guide to fulfillment and happiness.

 

5. Have a vision of the future

Seeing your dream come to fruition is necessary when you pursue a dream. Visualization is key to starting. You have to be able to imagine your dream coming alive so you can get motivated to start on it. You have to believe that it’s possible for you to achieve your dreams.  You have to believe in what’s possible in the future although you get there by working on it each day. What they say is true: seeing is believing. Once you see something in your mind’s eye, you start believing you can make it happen.

 

6. Work through obstacles

You don’t allow one failure to stop you. You’re not sitting around and making excuses or looking for ways to not keep going. Just the opposite. You allow the obstacles to help you get more creative and find solutions. You let failure inspire you and guide you to a better way to do something. You see obstacles as challenges to be overcome, not roadblocks that will stop you from going forward. You welcome each obstacle knowing that moving past each one will get you closer to your dreams.

“I don’t dream at night, I dream all day; I dream for a living.” – Steven Spielberg

7. Patience

While you’re working on your dream and moving past the obstacles in the way, you also know that dreams don’t materialize overnight. You are willing to put in the work but you’re also willing to be persistent. You’re willing to wait. You’re willing to give your dreams time. You are willing to be patient in the face of failures, adversity, and obstacles. You’re willing to change course or alter the dream if something isn’t working. You don’t expect overnight results or instant gratification.

Are you going after your dreams? What are your most successful habits? Please comment below!
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Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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