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Motivation

8 Ways To Increase Your Mental Strength

Joel Brown (Founder of Addicted2Success.com)

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spartan strength and mental toughness

Editor’s Note: Wanha from Reddit, shares his advice on what it takes to increase mental toughness.

I’ve always been fascinated with mental toughness and athletes who possess it, and I’ve spent many years trying to understand this topic.

Much of our physical ability is determined by our body structure. I can train as much as I want, but I’ll never beat Usain Bolt in a footrace. Mental toughness, on the other hand, is something that can be learned and cultivated, it can be forged through practice and struggle. Naturally some people are born with a higher level of mental toughness than others, but on the whole it’s a skill that anyone can cultivate to a relatively high level.

Mental toughness is the ability to perform at an optimal level when the stakes are at their highest. Whether that means closing a huge sale or fighting back from the brink of defeat, mental toughness means we don’t allow the situation to overwhelm us emotionally.

One of the most respected NFL coaches, Bill Belichick, defines mental toughness as

“doing what’s right for the team regardless of how you might be feeling at the time.”

In other words, mental toughness is about sacrifice, doing something that’s difficult, pushing past your threshold, playing injured or playing a role you might not be comfortable playing. It’s about putting the team first.

But talking about mental toughness is easy. For every athlete that is mentally tough, there are probably ten athletes that aren’t.

So how do we improve our mental toughness?

Control Your Mind Or It Will Control You

Boiled down to its most basic elements, mental toughness comes down to two choices: to control your mind, or to let your mind control you.

When we don’t control our minds, we accept whatever programming that has been inputted earlier. You see, most of us never chose our current mental programming, we simply stumbled onto it, and now it’s the way we deal with life’s various challenges and situations.

For example, if your default reaction to high-stake moments is fear, anxiety or over-excitment, it’s because somewhere down the line you learned that that strategy works for you. That’s obviously not a particularly smart strategy, but at the time when you accepted it as part of your programming it was clearly good enough. And once we accept a programming, we usually stop thinking about it and it becomes our default reaction for similar situations.

So if we want to increase our mental toughness, we are going to have to do a little reprogramming of our minds first. From my experience, the key to being mentally tougher is to control your focus and eliminate the little voice of doubt and critique.

 

It’s All in Your Mind

Most articles you will find on this topic break mental toughness down into various subcategories, such as focus, poise, confidence, courage, and so forth. Although that may make sense from a scientific perspective, I’ve found that such an approach makes it difficult for the average person to put any of the advice to use.

So what follows is my attempt to provide an easier and more natural process to help you perform better when it really counts. I’ve successfully used these techniques myself over the past few years and I believe they can do the same for you.

Let’s get to them.

I. Be Positive. I Mean REALLY, REALLY POSITIVE

It’s easy to get down on yourself and let the inner critic run free when things aren’t going well, but that isn’t going to help you.

Instead, fight the urge to criticize and ask yourself if you can make a commitment that you will only bring forth positive energy for the remainder of the match. I’ve found that when you prioritize eliminating all negative thoughts, your focus automatically shifts to the positive ones, and that in turn makes you more likely to enjoy and excel in the big moment.

 

II. Focus Only On What You Control

Yes, we play to win, that’s why we keep score. But spending time thinking about the potential outcome just diverts your focus and fills your head with unimportant, distracting thoughts.

The remedy is to be present in the moment and let nature take its course. Focus only on the things you actually control: your approach and your attitude. What happens after the next point or after the match doesn’t matter. I’ve found this approach helps me relax, focus and play my best at the key moments.

 

III. Keep Your Emotional Level Steady

Some of us get more easily up and down that others. The more up and down you get, the more likely you are going to get over-excited or overwhelmed by the situation, and that puts you in a bad spot to win the big points consistently.

The key is to distance yourself from the game just enough so that you’re not swept away with the emotional tides. Don’t only focus on not getting down – also make sure you don’t get too high either, because that disrupts your focus also. Visualize remaining calm and composed in even the biggest situations. Act like you’ve been in those situations a hundred times, and eventually you’ll feel like it too.

 

IV. Enjoy The Big Moments

This is probably my favorite technique because it takes a moment that is stressful and intimidating and turns it into a moment that’s fun and exciting – something you actually look forward to.

The next time you find yourself in a big moment in a game (e.g. a tiebreak in tennis), remind yourself how exciting and fun these big moments are compared to a casual game with nothing at stake. These are the moments you’ll remember and what you’ll all discuss after the games – enjoy them, embrace them, and feel them with every cell in your body.

 

Mental Strength and physical pain quote

 

V. A Prepared Mind is a More Confident Mind

It’s been said that self confidence is ‘your ability to influence the world around you’. What better way to do that than through practice?

When you know you’ve practiced a single shot a thousands of times, you have a lot more faith in being able to rely on your training in a big moment. You don’t need to ‘will’ yourself to do something that has very little chance of succeeding. Remind yourself that all that sweat and sacrifice was a price you paid so you could be victorious today.

 

VI. Forget About How You Might Look

Sometimes we start thinking how bad we might appear to others if we lose this point – or how embarrassing it would be to blow a big lead. But the moment you start thinking from the outside in, you lose your focus and your ability to stay calm and composed.

Thinking from the outside in is toxic. You are not doing this to “look good” or win the admiration of onlookers, so put all thoughts about looking bad out of your mind and just focus on playing the game one point at a time. Win or loss – do it your way.

 

VII. Have a Short Memory

This is also one of my favorites. It’s so easy to get angry and criticize ourselves when we make a mistake, but all that usually does is turn one bad play into another.

If the previous point or play didn’t go your way, you need to forget it immediately and concentrate on the next one. Don’t let one bad play ruin the next one.

Just make a note and move on.

 

VIII. Don’t Expect Perfect Circumstances

It’s easy to say the conditions were poor, you had a little ailment or that nothing is going your way today. But these are all just excuses that tempt you down the road of surrender.

You only get the perfect circumstances so many times in life. Don’t dwell on what has gone against you. Don’t worry that the conditions favor your opponent. Ignore the pain you feel in your knee.

What you have is what you have. There will never be another chance to win this game.

Be like MacGyver and use everything that you have at your disposal to succeed right now.

Mental toughness is really just about approaching the game from the right perspective. The next time you step out onto the field, ignore the score, focus being in the moment and tell that little, criticizing and excuse-seeking voice in your head to shut the hell up. You’ll be glad you did.

 henry ford positive quote

 

I am the the Founder of Addicted2Success.com and I am so grateful you're here to be part of this awesome community. I love connecting with people who have a passion for Entrepreneurship, Self Development & Achieving Success. I started this website with the intention of educating and inspiring likeminded people to always strive for success no matter what their circumstances. I'm proud to say through my podcast and through this website we have impacted over 100 million lives in the last 6 and a half years.

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25 Comments

25 Comments

  1. Praveen

    Aug 31, 2016 at 9:00 am

    Hi Joel, this quote is inspiring ‘When you know you’ve practiced a single shot a thousands of times, you have a lot more faith in being able to rely on your training in a big moment. .’

    Your words really motivate the readers to cultivate this power I use meditation as a basis for developing mental strength but, the human psychogy cannot be denied which directly or indirectly subdued in it. it’s really interesting to come through such articles of great values.

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Motivation

8 Brutal Lessons From Maturing As An Adult - Not What You’d Expect From A Banker.

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I’m an average Joe, working as a banker, from a small island called Australia. I have a confession to make as well: I don’t own a Ferrari or a fancy suit. That’s why this advice I’m about to give you will unexpectedly change your life.

I’m the least likely guy you’d expect to be mature. Against all the odds, I found a mature meaning for my life that has helped a lot of people online.

That’s not bragging rights it’s just what happens when you understand what’s real and what’s not.

Here are my brutal lessons:


1. Maturity comes from failure.

Age plays no part in maturity.

What makes you mature is when you’ve made enough fuck ups in life that you’re able to see life for what it is: a freaking miracle that you shouldn’t take for granted.

With every stupidly, ridiculous cock up in my life, I’ve matured. I’ve learned what works by experiencing what doesn’t work.


2. The best advice doesn’t have the most likes.

One piece of advice I gave stopped a young 21 year old from committing suicide. It wasn’t a viral piece of content yet it’s probably one of the pieces I’m thrilled I wrote.

Saving a life is more important than gaining likes on social media.


3. Beauty is not what you think.

Fat, skinny, tall, athletic — none of that equals beauty. Who defines what beauty is?

The truth I’ve learned, through maturing as an adult, is that the beauty inside is the most important criteria.

Let me remove the BS catchphrase I just said and explain it in simple terms: beauty is the way someone acts and how they make you feel.

Beauty is a by-product of working on yourself and the way you think. Eat that INSTAGRAM!


4. It’s not about ‘one’s self.’

Take the focus off yourself and you’ll see just how easy it is to get everything you could ever want.

Progressing your own selfish desires only leaves you feeling empty. You’ll always be asking “Is this all there is?”

I’ve been that guy. I was obsessed with ‘my business’ and ‘my car’ and ‘my money.”

None of the cliché things that a lot of us aim for ever move the dial on your happiness meter. It’s not about you.


5. No one’s reached the pinnacle.

Not Elon. Not Zuck’s. Not Gates. Not Jay Z. Everyone’s just getting started.

One area of our life could look amazing; we may even be famous for it. That’s not the pinnacle. There’s always another goal or another passion to pursue.

None of us know the true limit of human potential. We’ll never know if we’ve reached the pinnacle. There’s always more to do. There’s always another goal.

When you see success as temporary and see fame for what it is, you stop chasing it.

“Chase meaning instead and quit falling in love with idols who you’ll never be and probably never want to be if you got to live a day in their shoes”


6. Focus on the essentials when it comes to owning stuff.

Even then you’ll probably get carried away, let’s face it.

The need to have more won’t take you further along the Yellow Brick Road. In fact, the reality is quite the opposite.

Having more stuff is only going to make you more stressed and want more, thus resulting in an empty feeling that is hard to explain to almost any mature adult.

“Less will always be more because less is how you get more of the good things in life — happiness, love, meaning, etc”


7. Men cry too and so do leaders.

Everyone has a rough day or a situation that brings us to tears. It’s okay not to be okay.

Crying is how we know what matters to us. Every time we cry, we gain another piece of the puzzle to the jigsaw that is our life.

There’s no point pretending you don’t cry. We all cry because we’re all human. Emotion is what connects us together and makes us united.

It’s the one feeling we can’t stop no matter how hard we might try, so we can look #normal. Screw normal.


8. The hardest work is working on yourself.

Not hustle till you die.
Not grinding after midnight.
Not working seven days.

We can all work hard like a machine but working on ourselves is what defines us as being human. It’s one of the hardest things in life to look at yourself in the mirror and say “I’m an asshole.”

That’s the conversation I had with myself five years back. I was a rude, arrogant, sick, twisted individual that had let greed take over from everything that makes logical sense.

Figuring out my own mind and using it to help others is the hardest work I’ve ever done. In the early stages, working on myself felt like being in prison. I had to get really good at seeing the stuff I didn’t want to see.

Numbers of hours, revenue generated and how good you are at ‘hustling’ don’t matter. What matters is what you work on you.

<<<>>>

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

10 Reasons You Need to Write That Book You’ve Always Thought About

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I’m willing to bet that many of you out there have thought about writing a book. You may have even started jotting down a few ideas. Perhaps it’s a fiction book, the next 50 Shades of Grey, or maybe you want to write the next tell-all expose on the life and times of Donald Trump. You might even consider writing the next great self-help book, akin to “The Secret” or “How to Make Friends and Influence People”.

According to a study done nearly two decades ago in 2002, 81% of Americans feel that they had a book in them. This means that nearly 260 million people want to write books in the US alone. Approximately 600,000 books are published in the US each year, and many of those are self-published. Few sell more than a few copies (the average is around 250 copies sold).  Yet I’m here today to tell you to write that book that you’ve had on your mind, and to dive into the realm of self-publishing.

Here are 10 reasons you should take that leap and write a book already:

1. It makes you think more clearly

When you first think about writing a book, it may seem like a daunting task. It is an exciting idea, sure, but the more you consider how to actually get started, the harder it becomes. When you actually pick up the pen (or the laptop) and start typing, you will come to realise just what a clarifying effect the writing process can have on your mind.

2. It helps you channel your creativity

Writing is perhaps one of the purest forms of self expression and creativity accessible to humans. We all learn to write from an early age, yet few of us cultivate the skill of self-expression through writing long past our early childhood. Good books, nonfiction or fiction, tap into the reader’s minds by telling creative stories and tapping into psychological forces related to specific emotions. The book you write need not be dry or boring. Think about how you can make it interesting and then go full-steam ahead.

“The obstacle in the path becomes the path. Never forget, within every obstacle is an opportunity to improve our condition.” – Ryan Holiday

3. It gives you a sense of purpose

Every November, nearly half a million people take on the challenge of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). The challenge is for writers of all ages, talents, and skill levels to set aside time out of their busy schedules to write like mad over the course of the month. The goal is to reach a ridiculous number of words (50,000) in as few days as possible. Taking on a challenge of this magnitude, or just setting a deadline for yourself in your head on a certain number of pages to write in a certain amount of time, can provide you with an incredible sense of purpose and drive.

4. It forces you to plan ahead

Most people who write books don’t do so as part of their full-time job. They don’t have large advances or massive budgets to spend on marketing and PR. Instead, they have to work on their writing, promoting and planning around their already busy lives. Deciding to write a book requires careful planning and attention to detail. It also forces you to outline a plan for when to publish your book and when to start marketing.

5. It motivates you

Once you have an outline in place for your book and a schedule for how many words you need to finish each day (or how many sections of your book you need to complete) you will be surprised by how motivated you become. Just having a set of tasks to complete which align so closely with a creative endeavour is incredibly fulfilling, and will be very motivating over the course of your writing.

6. It creates good habits

The creation of good habits is a positive byproduct of outlining, planning, and writing a book. By planning out your activities, you develop a deeper appreciation for time and the time you spend on certain tasks. You will make an effort to be more productive, to cut out things that are of less value to you, and to prioritise those things which will help you achieve your next goal or task. All positive things which lead to the development of good habits.

7. It develops new connections

Don’t mistake the process of writing a book with the process of editing a book. When you write on a schedule, you may not feel like writing, but the sheer force of will you employ to get the words out on a daily basis will be a powerful motivating force. Not only that, the more you write, the more likely it becomes that you will develop new connections, thoughts, or ideas that you’ve never had before. As you write, something may become clear to you which has been shrouded in mystery for years or decades of your life. By writing, you will uncover these new connections and change your whole way of thinking.

“The three great essentials to achieve anything worthwhile are: Hard work, Stick-to-itiveness, and Common sense.” – Thomas A. Edison

8. It makes you more interesting

Writing a book will make you more interesting. Not only will it give you something to talk about at parties, it will help you understand the challenges that many people face when it comes to motivation or challenges at work or in their personal lives. By writing a book, I would argue that you will become both more empathetic and energetic in your interactions with others.

9. It opens up more doors

When you spend a significant amount of time writing something, chances are that you are a dedicated and trustworthy individual. You are labelled a self-starter and someone who can be self-motivated to reach large goals. By telling people you’ve written a book, you will open doors you didn’t even know were doors in the first place. People will want to speak with you, have lunch with you, pick your brain, learn from you. The sky’s the limit.

10. It drives deeper understanding

Ultimately, writing a book allows you to develop a deeper understanding of yourself, of others and of the world around you. I would argue that writing a book is both a selfless and a selfish act in that it allows you to pour your heart and soul into something which may benefit the world as a whole.

In 2002, an author and professor at Northwestern University by the name of Joseph Epstein told readers in an Op-Ed in the New York Times that they should never write that book. A lot has changed since 2002, and looking at the world now I would argue strongly for the opposite. People should be spending more time thinking about, and writing the books they have buried inside. Only then will we be able to develop a truly complete view of the world and of humanity.

What book is on your mind that you haven’t started yet? Comment below!

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Motivation

7 Powerful and Inspiring Words of Encouragement to Help Lift You Up

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When you’re going through tough times, all you need is sympathy. You just need someone to tell you how strong you are and how you can cope with the situation. Essentially, you’re waiting for a soothing voice that can calm your inner storm and genuinely help with your troubles.

If you’re in a situation like this, then know that you’re not alone. You might be feeling low due to a reason like failing at something, breaking up with someone you dearly loved, losing your loved one, not getting a good job, or being betrayed by the person you trusted the most or anything along those lines.

Remember this; there is hope for everyone including you. You are going to come back from all of this no matter what. That’s why there is a saying, “Every dark cloud has a silver lining.”

Here are 7 powerful quotes to help lift you up in your time of need:

1. “There are only TWO days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday, and the other one is called tomorrow. Today is the right day to Love, Believe, Do and mostly Live.” – Dalai Lama

This quote said by his holy highness Dalai Lama is so compelling about life. You live in the present, neither in the past nor the future. Think about it this way, can you change what is already done or can you change what is going to be done? The answer is, no, you can’t because nobody can. It’s wise to forget the bad things from the past and do something in the present that will help improve your future.

2. “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” – Albert Einstein

Have you ever thought of these beautiful words of encouragement from Sir Albert Einstein? It is so profound and practical. Sometimes we are miserable because people try to fit us into a mold where we don’t belong, and thus we too start feeling that we are useless. However, that’s not the case. We all are gifted with abilities that we overlook only because of the fear of being rejected or neglected. You are not supposed to rely on people’s perspective about you if you know what your real potential is.

3. “Every time you state what you want or believe, you’re the first to hear it. It’s a message to both you and others about what you think is possible. Don’t put a ceiling on yourself.” – Oprah Winfrey

These words of encouragement from Oprah Winfrey gave me so much strength that I couldn’t resist to quote it here. Many times we give up on our dreams and wishes only because we think it is impossible. We must believe in ourselves and tell ourselves that we CAN do it and it is possible. You shouldn’t be afraid of failures and setbacks but instead welcome them.

4. “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” – Will Rogers

Think about this, still water is stagnant water. Even the water has to keep flowing to remain useful. If you want to become successful, you must keep lifting yourself up and keep moving. Do not let the hardships hold you down and wait for a miracle to happen. You’re already on the right track so nothing should stop you from going further in your life.

5. “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.” – Mahatma Gandhi

All our activities, throughout this life, are controlled by our mind. Believe it or not, it’s true. It is correctly said that what you think you become. People around us are not always going to pull you up, and you might meet people who are going to supply negativity to your mind. However, it is up to you whom to let in your mind and whom you should never. When you are in control of your thoughts and mind, nothing and nobody can distract you.

6. “What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise.” – Oscar Wilde

Difficult times are very tricky. It makes you believe that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. We don’t realize that today’s struggles are for a better tomorrow. They’re not permanent, and they’re not going to last forever. Once you are determined to change your situation then even God will help you with that. Just remember the saying, “God helps those who help themselves.”

7. “In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.”  – Deepak Chopra

This quote is too profound and subtle that summarizes this whole article. It might change the way you look at your problems right now. There are circumstances to knock you down, there are issues you are not able to solve, and they seem completely out of your control. It is not at all easy to keep calm at this point, however, if you learn how to be still in the midst of all the chaos, you are a winner. You have won half the battle just by doing this.

Winning and losing is just a part of life. No matter in which phase of your life you are, remember that there is a purpose behind it and you will know what that purpose is at the right time. Moreover, one day you will be grateful for all the struggles and mistakes because they will make you a stronger, better and a more beautiful human being.

Which one of these quotes inspired you the most and why? Let us know in the comments below!

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Motivation

Sometimes We Have To Eat Garbage For A While Before We Can Rise Up Again.

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A month ago, I received an email titled “I am giving up” from a young woman. She was an aspiring life coach and had a huge money problem she was dealing with.

The young lady tried everything to get out of the situation and was even prepared to sleep in her car. There was one problem though: she had a daughter.

Things got so bad that she was even considering becoming a stripper to make some money fast but it was eating away at her on the inside because this very idea went against her ethics and values.

She felt she could never be a life coach again if she became a stripper, because the thought of helping other women after she had put her ass in lots of guys’ faces (this is what she actually said) was far too painful for her.

Becoming a stripper to fix her money problem would simultaneously kill her dream of becoming a life coach.

After she told me this story, she wanted my advice. ‘What should I do Tim?” she said to me in the email.

I really wanted to help her.

I gave her this advice even though it sounds brutal and somewhat harsh:

I told her “Sometimes We Have To Eat Garbage For A While Before We Can Rise Up Again.”

Here’s how to eat garbage for a while so that you can rise up again:


Take a job you may not love.

Life is not all rainbows and butterflies (forgot who said that but it’s true). There will be times when your life goes off track and you could lose your job, all your money or even your partner. It’s messed up and we all go through it.

The answer is not to go against all of your values, so you feel even more worthless. The advice I gave though goes against every self-help book and motivational quote you’ve ever read including #LoveYourWork

If you fall down, sometimes you have to eat garbage for a while and if it’s a financial crisis, then that could mean doing a job or work you hate.

When my business dreams collapsed in 2011, I took a call center job that I hated with every bone in my body. I took the job because it rebuilt my confidence and taught me how to sell again.

I learned how the big bad corporate world worked and I became incredibly disciplined. I even learned how to love a woman again which sounds corny, but it’s true.

I ate the worst kind of garbage you could possibly eat and I tried to enjoy every moment of it. I then saved up enough money to attend a Tony Robbins event and that was the catalyst for my transformation.

Superman didn’t come and save me like you see in the movies. I had to save myself and that involved doing something I didn’t like. There are more lessons in the stuff you hate than you may realize. Embrace it.


Work on a side hustle at the same time.

The first point is horribly wrong unless you couple it with a side hustle. Eating garbage and having no way out of it is putting yourself through unnecessary torture that you may not recover from.

The rope marks could scar you for life without a side hustle.

My side hustle started out as personal development which eventually led me to begin blogging. Without this side hustle, the time where I had to eat garbage would have been unbearable.

Every day while I worked a job I hated, I looked forward to the small amounts of spare time I had so that I could work on my side hustle. In the first week of this difficult job, I outsold the other staff and hit 200% of my sales target.

“I achieved 200% of my sales target because I was determined to outperform so I could gain the privileges that came with it — more time and more freedom”

Instead of being micromanaged, I got the chance to watch Ted Talks with my people leader and strategize about the future of the business.

The side hustle then became much bigger later on and now it fuels everything I do. I’m obsessed with everyone finding a side hustle, so they have something to motivate them at least some of the time.


Eating garbage is where GRIT is built.

I never used to have an “anything is possible” mindset. The grit I have was built from having to eat garbage for a while.

“I knew that if I could make it through the muddy waters of not following my passion, I could do anything”

The harsh part of life taught me how to fend for myself and overcome my own demons, so I could rise up again out of the ashes. Grit does not come from your comfort zone.

Grit is found in the biggest and boldest of challenges where you have to use every ounce of your strength to come out alive.

The young woman that emailed me is working on developing the same personality trait. This work is what will make her an exceptional life coach.


You’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do.

Eating garbage is short term and if you have a financial problem or something that just won’t go away, you’ve got to tackle it head on. Complaining about your situation and telling yourself the odds are stacked against you won’t help.

When you see eating garbage as short term, you develop the mindset that will help you break through.

There’s no magic cure.

I told the young lady that emailed me to eat garbage for a while (I was nicer than that, don’t worry) and do what she has to do to earn some money (without breaking her values). This battle is short-term and that’s how we all have to see it.


Think about a situation that is worse than yours.

Speaking of eating garbage, one of my mentors reached out to me and told me they had been demoted. They no longer had people underneath them and they were forced into something they didn’t love as much.

I told my mentor the same thing: we all have to eat garbage sometimes.

That advice was then followed up with my story of going from business owner to a call center operator. I then told him the story of a mutual friend who had gone from a high flying job to a nobody that was ignored.

He put up with that for three years and then eventually someone saw what I saw in him, and he was given a very senior role in another company.

Your situation may suck big time but getting some perspective and hearing about others who’ve had to eat garbage is a refreshing way (refreshing and brown stuff in the same sentence?) to overcome the negativity you’ll experience .


Understand that no one stays at the top of anything forever.

You could be the richest person in the world today. Eventually, you’ll be knocked off the top spot.

You could be the fastest 100m sprinter in the world. Tomorrow, or eventually, someone will be faster than you. The simple fact is that no one is permanently at the top of their game.

“All of us will fall from grace at some point”

What I’ve learned is that falling from grace and eating garbage for a while is how you rise up again. You can’t rise up if you haven’t fallen down before.

The deep, dark problem you think you’re facing will pass- it always does eventually. This is not the time to make a dumb decision, ask for sympathy or complain.

It’s time to eat garbage for a while and put in the work. Earn the right to get what you want by starting again at the bottom. That’s how you rise up again.

<<<>>>

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Business Networking Is Just Like Dating, Treat It That Way

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Let’s be real, you can all go out and try to find a sale at the next business networking event, but unless you’re a millionaire such as Grant Cardone or Gary Vaynerchuk, what’s the real purpose of going to a business networking event? Business networking events are meant to meet like-minded individuals just like you to build a relationship whether it’s business, friendship, or (call me crazy) even romantic. (more…)

Dominic Cruz is the CruzIN Social Media Marketer, ex-professional hip-hop dancer, a college graduate at SDSU, public speaker, and a published writer. He has a strong passion for social media and for what it has to offer to business owners like you. He was raised in the city of Boston, MA and born in New Orleans, LA. Every day there is something new in the world of social media and there are multiple ways of getting paid using social media. It's the platform that brings you maximum exposure and with more exposure is more opportunity to bring in GUARANTEED revenue. To learn more about his company, visit his site here.

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25 Comments

25 Comments

  1. Praveen

    Aug 31, 2016 at 9:00 am

    Hi Joel, this quote is inspiring ‘When you know you’ve practiced a single shot a thousands of times, you have a lot more faith in being able to rely on your training in a big moment. .’

    Your words really motivate the readers to cultivate this power I use meditation as a basis for developing mental strength but, the human psychogy cannot be denied which directly or indirectly subdued in it. it’s really interesting to come through such articles of great values.

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Motivation

8 Brutal Lessons From Maturing As An Adult - Not What You’d Expect From A Banker.

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I’m an average Joe, working as a banker, from a small island called Australia. I have a confession to make as well: I don’t own a Ferrari or a fancy suit. That’s why this advice I’m about to give you will unexpectedly change your life.

I’m the least likely guy you’d expect to be mature. Against all the odds, I found a mature meaning for my life that has helped a lot of people online.

That’s not bragging rights it’s just what happens when you understand what’s real and what’s not.

Here are my brutal lessons:


1. Maturity comes from failure.

Age plays no part in maturity.

What makes you mature is when you’ve made enough fuck ups in life that you’re able to see life for what it is: a freaking miracle that you shouldn’t take for granted.

With every stupidly, ridiculous cock up in my life, I’ve matured. I’ve learned what works by experiencing what doesn’t work.


2. The best advice doesn’t have the most likes.

One piece of advice I gave stopped a young 21 year old from committing suicide. It wasn’t a viral piece of content yet it’s probably one of the pieces I’m thrilled I wrote.

Saving a life is more important than gaining likes on social media.


3. Beauty is not what you think.

Fat, skinny, tall, athletic — none of that equals beauty. Who defines what beauty is?

The truth I’ve learned, through maturing as an adult, is that the beauty inside is the most important criteria.

Let me remove the BS catchphrase I just said and explain it in simple terms: beauty is the way someone acts and how they make you feel.

Beauty is a by-product of working on yourself and the way you think. Eat that INSTAGRAM!


4. It’s not about ‘one’s self.’

Take the focus off yourself and you’ll see just how easy it is to get everything you could ever want.

Progressing your own selfish desires only leaves you feeling empty. You’ll always be asking “Is this all there is?”

I’ve been that guy. I was obsessed with ‘my business’ and ‘my car’ and ‘my money.”

None of the cliché things that a lot of us aim for ever move the dial on your happiness meter. It’s not about you.


5. No one’s reached the pinnacle.

Not Elon. Not Zuck’s. Not Gates. Not Jay Z. Everyone’s just getting started.

One area of our life could look amazing; we may even be famous for it. That’s not the pinnacle. There’s always another goal or another passion to pursue.

None of us know the true limit of human potential. We’ll never know if we’ve reached the pinnacle. There’s always more to do. There’s always another goal.

When you see success as temporary and see fame for what it is, you stop chasing it.

“Chase meaning instead and quit falling in love with idols who you’ll never be and probably never want to be if you got to live a day in their shoes”


6. Focus on the essentials when it comes to owning stuff.

Even then you’ll probably get carried away, let’s face it.

The need to have more won’t take you further along the Yellow Brick Road. In fact, the reality is quite the opposite.

Having more stuff is only going to make you more stressed and want more, thus resulting in an empty feeling that is hard to explain to almost any mature adult.

“Less will always be more because less is how you get more of the good things in life — happiness, love, meaning, etc”


7. Men cry too and so do leaders.

Everyone has a rough day or a situation that brings us to tears. It’s okay not to be okay.

Crying is how we know what matters to us. Every time we cry, we gain another piece of the puzzle to the jigsaw that is our life.

There’s no point pretending you don’t cry. We all cry because we’re all human. Emotion is what connects us together and makes us united.

It’s the one feeling we can’t stop no matter how hard we might try, so we can look #normal. Screw normal.


8. The hardest work is working on yourself.

Not hustle till you die.
Not grinding after midnight.
Not working seven days.

We can all work hard like a machine but working on ourselves is what defines us as being human. It’s one of the hardest things in life to look at yourself in the mirror and say “I’m an asshole.”

That’s the conversation I had with myself five years back. I was a rude, arrogant, sick, twisted individual that had let greed take over from everything that makes logical sense.

Figuring out my own mind and using it to help others is the hardest work I’ve ever done. In the early stages, working on myself felt like being in prison. I had to get really good at seeing the stuff I didn’t want to see.

Numbers of hours, revenue generated and how good you are at ‘hustling’ don’t matter. What matters is what you work on you.

<<<>>>

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

10 Reasons You Need to Write That Book You’ve Always Thought About

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I’m willing to bet that many of you out there have thought about writing a book. You may have even started jotting down a few ideas. Perhaps it’s a fiction book, the next 50 Shades of Grey, or maybe you want to write the next tell-all expose on the life and times of Donald Trump. You might even consider writing the next great self-help book, akin to “The Secret” or “How to Make Friends and Influence People”.

According to a study done nearly two decades ago in 2002, 81% of Americans feel that they had a book in them. This means that nearly 260 million people want to write books in the US alone. Approximately 600,000 books are published in the US each year, and many of those are self-published. Few sell more than a few copies (the average is around 250 copies sold).  Yet I’m here today to tell you to write that book that you’ve had on your mind, and to dive into the realm of self-publishing.

Here are 10 reasons you should take that leap and write a book already:

1. It makes you think more clearly

When you first think about writing a book, it may seem like a daunting task. It is an exciting idea, sure, but the more you consider how to actually get started, the harder it becomes. When you actually pick up the pen (or the laptop) and start typing, you will come to realise just what a clarifying effect the writing process can have on your mind.

2. It helps you channel your creativity

Writing is perhaps one of the purest forms of self expression and creativity accessible to humans. We all learn to write from an early age, yet few of us cultivate the skill of self-expression through writing long past our early childhood. Good books, nonfiction or fiction, tap into the reader’s minds by telling creative stories and tapping into psychological forces related to specific emotions. The book you write need not be dry or boring. Think about how you can make it interesting and then go full-steam ahead.

“The obstacle in the path becomes the path. Never forget, within every obstacle is an opportunity to improve our condition.” – Ryan Holiday

3. It gives you a sense of purpose

Every November, nearly half a million people take on the challenge of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). The challenge is for writers of all ages, talents, and skill levels to set aside time out of their busy schedules to write like mad over the course of the month. The goal is to reach a ridiculous number of words (50,000) in as few days as possible. Taking on a challenge of this magnitude, or just setting a deadline for yourself in your head on a certain number of pages to write in a certain amount of time, can provide you with an incredible sense of purpose and drive.

4. It forces you to plan ahead

Most people who write books don’t do so as part of their full-time job. They don’t have large advances or massive budgets to spend on marketing and PR. Instead, they have to work on their writing, promoting and planning around their already busy lives. Deciding to write a book requires careful planning and attention to detail. It also forces you to outline a plan for when to publish your book and when to start marketing.

5. It motivates you

Once you have an outline in place for your book and a schedule for how many words you need to finish each day (or how many sections of your book you need to complete) you will be surprised by how motivated you become. Just having a set of tasks to complete which align so closely with a creative endeavour is incredibly fulfilling, and will be very motivating over the course of your writing.

6. It creates good habits

The creation of good habits is a positive byproduct of outlining, planning, and writing a book. By planning out your activities, you develop a deeper appreciation for time and the time you spend on certain tasks. You will make an effort to be more productive, to cut out things that are of less value to you, and to prioritise those things which will help you achieve your next goal or task. All positive things which lead to the development of good habits.

7. It develops new connections

Don’t mistake the process of writing a book with the process of editing a book. When you write on a schedule, you may not feel like writing, but the sheer force of will you employ to get the words out on a daily basis will be a powerful motivating force. Not only that, the more you write, the more likely it becomes that you will develop new connections, thoughts, or ideas that you’ve never had before. As you write, something may become clear to you which has been shrouded in mystery for years or decades of your life. By writing, you will uncover these new connections and change your whole way of thinking.

“The three great essentials to achieve anything worthwhile are: Hard work, Stick-to-itiveness, and Common sense.” – Thomas A. Edison

8. It makes you more interesting

Writing a book will make you more interesting. Not only will it give you something to talk about at parties, it will help you understand the challenges that many people face when it comes to motivation or challenges at work or in their personal lives. By writing a book, I would argue that you will become both more empathetic and energetic in your interactions with others.

9. It opens up more doors

When you spend a significant amount of time writing something, chances are that you are a dedicated and trustworthy individual. You are labelled a self-starter and someone who can be self-motivated to reach large goals. By telling people you’ve written a book, you will open doors you didn’t even know were doors in the first place. People will want to speak with you, have lunch with you, pick your brain, learn from you. The sky’s the limit.

10. It drives deeper understanding

Ultimately, writing a book allows you to develop a deeper understanding of yourself, of others and of the world around you. I would argue that writing a book is both a selfless and a selfish act in that it allows you to pour your heart and soul into something which may benefit the world as a whole.

In 2002, an author and professor at Northwestern University by the name of Joseph Epstein told readers in an Op-Ed in the New York Times that they should never write that book. A lot has changed since 2002, and looking at the world now I would argue strongly for the opposite. People should be spending more time thinking about, and writing the books they have buried inside. Only then will we be able to develop a truly complete view of the world and of humanity.

What book is on your mind that you haven’t started yet? Comment below!

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Motivation

7 Powerful and Inspiring Words of Encouragement to Help Lift You Up

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When you’re going through tough times, all you need is sympathy. You just need someone to tell you how strong you are and how you can cope with the situation. Essentially, you’re waiting for a soothing voice that can calm your inner storm and genuinely help with your troubles.

If you’re in a situation like this, then know that you’re not alone. You might be feeling low due to a reason like failing at something, breaking up with someone you dearly loved, losing your loved one, not getting a good job, or being betrayed by the person you trusted the most or anything along those lines.

Remember this; there is hope for everyone including you. You are going to come back from all of this no matter what. That’s why there is a saying, “Every dark cloud has a silver lining.”

Here are 7 powerful quotes to help lift you up in your time of need:

1. “There are only TWO days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday, and the other one is called tomorrow. Today is the right day to Love, Believe, Do and mostly Live.” – Dalai Lama

This quote said by his holy highness Dalai Lama is so compelling about life. You live in the present, neither in the past nor the future. Think about it this way, can you change what is already done or can you change what is going to be done? The answer is, no, you can’t because nobody can. It’s wise to forget the bad things from the past and do something in the present that will help improve your future.

2. “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” – Albert Einstein

Have you ever thought of these beautiful words of encouragement from Sir Albert Einstein? It is so profound and practical. Sometimes we are miserable because people try to fit us into a mold where we don’t belong, and thus we too start feeling that we are useless. However, that’s not the case. We all are gifted with abilities that we overlook only because of the fear of being rejected or neglected. You are not supposed to rely on people’s perspective about you if you know what your real potential is.

3. “Every time you state what you want or believe, you’re the first to hear it. It’s a message to both you and others about what you think is possible. Don’t put a ceiling on yourself.” – Oprah Winfrey

These words of encouragement from Oprah Winfrey gave me so much strength that I couldn’t resist to quote it here. Many times we give up on our dreams and wishes only because we think it is impossible. We must believe in ourselves and tell ourselves that we CAN do it and it is possible. You shouldn’t be afraid of failures and setbacks but instead welcome them.

4. “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” – Will Rogers

Think about this, still water is stagnant water. Even the water has to keep flowing to remain useful. If you want to become successful, you must keep lifting yourself up and keep moving. Do not let the hardships hold you down and wait for a miracle to happen. You’re already on the right track so nothing should stop you from going further in your life.

5. “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.” – Mahatma Gandhi

All our activities, throughout this life, are controlled by our mind. Believe it or not, it’s true. It is correctly said that what you think you become. People around us are not always going to pull you up, and you might meet people who are going to supply negativity to your mind. However, it is up to you whom to let in your mind and whom you should never. When you are in control of your thoughts and mind, nothing and nobody can distract you.

6. “What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise.” – Oscar Wilde

Difficult times are very tricky. It makes you believe that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. We don’t realize that today’s struggles are for a better tomorrow. They’re not permanent, and they’re not going to last forever. Once you are determined to change your situation then even God will help you with that. Just remember the saying, “God helps those who help themselves.”

7. “In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.”  – Deepak Chopra

This quote is too profound and subtle that summarizes this whole article. It might change the way you look at your problems right now. There are circumstances to knock you down, there are issues you are not able to solve, and they seem completely out of your control. It is not at all easy to keep calm at this point, however, if you learn how to be still in the midst of all the chaos, you are a winner. You have won half the battle just by doing this.

Winning and losing is just a part of life. No matter in which phase of your life you are, remember that there is a purpose behind it and you will know what that purpose is at the right time. Moreover, one day you will be grateful for all the struggles and mistakes because they will make you a stronger, better and a more beautiful human being.

Which one of these quotes inspired you the most and why? Let us know in the comments below!

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Motivation

Sometimes We Have To Eat Garbage For A While Before We Can Rise Up Again.

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A month ago, I received an email titled “I am giving up” from a young woman. She was an aspiring life coach and had a huge money problem she was dealing with.

The young lady tried everything to get out of the situation and was even prepared to sleep in her car. There was one problem though: she had a daughter.

Things got so bad that she was even considering becoming a stripper to make some money fast but it was eating away at her on the inside because this very idea went against her ethics and values.

She felt she could never be a life coach again if she became a stripper, because the thought of helping other women after she had put her ass in lots of guys’ faces (this is what she actually said) was far too painful for her.

Becoming a stripper to fix her money problem would simultaneously kill her dream of becoming a life coach.

After she told me this story, she wanted my advice. ‘What should I do Tim?” she said to me in the email.

I really wanted to help her.

I gave her this advice even though it sounds brutal and somewhat harsh:

I told her “Sometimes We Have To Eat Garbage For A While Before We Can Rise Up Again.”

Here’s how to eat garbage for a while so that you can rise up again:


Take a job you may not love.

Life is not all rainbows and butterflies (forgot who said that but it’s true). There will be times when your life goes off track and you could lose your job, all your money or even your partner. It’s messed up and we all go through it.

The answer is not to go against all of your values, so you feel even more worthless. The advice I gave though goes against every self-help book and motivational quote you’ve ever read including #LoveYourWork

If you fall down, sometimes you have to eat garbage for a while and if it’s a financial crisis, then that could mean doing a job or work you hate.

When my business dreams collapsed in 2011, I took a call center job that I hated with every bone in my body. I took the job because it rebuilt my confidence and taught me how to sell again.

I learned how the big bad corporate world worked and I became incredibly disciplined. I even learned how to love a woman again which sounds corny, but it’s true.

I ate the worst kind of garbage you could possibly eat and I tried to enjoy every moment of it. I then saved up enough money to attend a Tony Robbins event and that was the catalyst for my transformation.

Superman didn’t come and save me like you see in the movies. I had to save myself and that involved doing something I didn’t like. There are more lessons in the stuff you hate than you may realize. Embrace it.


Work on a side hustle at the same time.

The first point is horribly wrong unless you couple it with a side hustle. Eating garbage and having no way out of it is putting yourself through unnecessary torture that you may not recover from.

The rope marks could scar you for life without a side hustle.

My side hustle started out as personal development which eventually led me to begin blogging. Without this side hustle, the time where I had to eat garbage would have been unbearable.

Every day while I worked a job I hated, I looked forward to the small amounts of spare time I had so that I could work on my side hustle. In the first week of this difficult job, I outsold the other staff and hit 200% of my sales target.

“I achieved 200% of my sales target because I was determined to outperform so I could gain the privileges that came with it — more time and more freedom”

Instead of being micromanaged, I got the chance to watch Ted Talks with my people leader and strategize about the future of the business.

The side hustle then became much bigger later on and now it fuels everything I do. I’m obsessed with everyone finding a side hustle, so they have something to motivate them at least some of the time.


Eating garbage is where GRIT is built.

I never used to have an “anything is possible” mindset. The grit I have was built from having to eat garbage for a while.

“I knew that if I could make it through the muddy waters of not following my passion, I could do anything”

The harsh part of life taught me how to fend for myself and overcome my own demons, so I could rise up again out of the ashes. Grit does not come from your comfort zone.

Grit is found in the biggest and boldest of challenges where you have to use every ounce of your strength to come out alive.

The young woman that emailed me is working on developing the same personality trait. This work is what will make her an exceptional life coach.


You’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do.

Eating garbage is short term and if you have a financial problem or something that just won’t go away, you’ve got to tackle it head on. Complaining about your situation and telling yourself the odds are stacked against you won’t help.

When you see eating garbage as short term, you develop the mindset that will help you break through.

There’s no magic cure.

I told the young lady that emailed me to eat garbage for a while (I was nicer than that, don’t worry) and do what she has to do to earn some money (without breaking her values). This battle is short-term and that’s how we all have to see it.


Think about a situation that is worse than yours.

Speaking of eating garbage, one of my mentors reached out to me and told me they had been demoted. They no longer had people underneath them and they were forced into something they didn’t love as much.

I told my mentor the same thing: we all have to eat garbage sometimes.

That advice was then followed up with my story of going from business owner to a call center operator. I then told him the story of a mutual friend who had gone from a high flying job to a nobody that was ignored.

He put up with that for three years and then eventually someone saw what I saw in him, and he was given a very senior role in another company.

Your situation may suck big time but getting some perspective and hearing about others who’ve had to eat garbage is a refreshing way (refreshing and brown stuff in the same sentence?) to overcome the negativity you’ll experience .


Understand that no one stays at the top of anything forever.

You could be the richest person in the world today. Eventually, you’ll be knocked off the top spot.

You could be the fastest 100m sprinter in the world. Tomorrow, or eventually, someone will be faster than you. The simple fact is that no one is permanently at the top of their game.

“All of us will fall from grace at some point”

What I’ve learned is that falling from grace and eating garbage for a while is how you rise up again. You can’t rise up if you haven’t fallen down before.

The deep, dark problem you think you’re facing will pass- it always does eventually. This is not the time to make a dumb decision, ask for sympathy or complain.

It’s time to eat garbage for a while and put in the work. Earn the right to get what you want by starting again at the bottom. That’s how you rise up again.

<<<>>>

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