Connect with us


The New Realities of Living Your Best Life



Image Credit: Unsplash

When people think about creating success in life, their focus tends to be on the work it will take to accomplish their goals. They think about the daily grind that creates healthy habits and leads to a better life.

As you do the work, what you might not be preparing for is what life will be like once you accomplish your goals. The grind puts blinders on so you can focus. Living an elevated life is a very different reality. 

People think an infusion of more money, better relationships, more friends, a burst of happiness, and other success goals accomplished would be a dream come true, yet rapid or unplanned growth would cripple most people.

You have to be willing to put in the work to create success because the work prepares you for the realities that success can bring. You envision your dream life, you live it out in your mind, and then you work hard to accomplish it. Don’t put yourself in the position to let growth and accomplishing your goals work against you.

“Don’t go through life, grow through life.” – Eric Butterworth 

Here’s what you need to understand about the new realities of living your best life and the strategies to continue your growth:

1. You’ll have to be firm about your boundaries.

As you accomplish your goals, you will become more visible. Whether that’s through social media or those in your circle take notice — there will be more eyeballs on you. Success gives off magnetic energy that others will want to gravitate around. 

It’s important to have boundaries and always be firm about them. If you always gave your time and energy to those who want it — you’ll lose that time and energy for yourself. A lack of boundaries and the discipline to keep them has stunted many-a-leaders growth. 

Freedom means you can give parts of yourself but on your terms and in a manner that makes you comfortable. To continue your growth, be firm about your boundaries and don’t feel bad about saying no if you want to

2. You’ll understand the difference between self-centered vs. selfish. 

If you’ve been on a flight, you’ve no doubt heard in the safety presentation that you should put on your mask first before helping others. It’s the same principle in your everyday life. You have to put yourself first and look after your needs before you start thinking about others. 

There’s a big difference between being self-centered and selfish. 

The selfish person is all about themselves to the inclusion of others no matter what the circumstance is. People in their life could be struggling, and they wouldn’t care as long as they’re okay.

Being self-centered means, you put yourself first and then think about others. You care and are compassionate but understand that you can help others much more when you’re coming from a position of strength and wholeness. 

If you’re going to create success and accomplish your goals, you have to incorporate habits that support your self-care. You have to love yourself by taking care of yourself first. Take care of your mind, body, and emotions. Do the work, rest, relax, and give yourself everything you need to become stronger — and then be stronger for others. 

3. Your focus on optimization will turn off a lot of people. 

Being focused on growth means less time for things that don’t align with your goals and values. It means being hyper-focused on the optimization habits that help you become one percent better each day.

That hyper-focus can come off as if you don’t care about the same things other people do or that you’re a robot. The thing to understand about focus and goals is that they have to be yours. Other people’s opinions and thoughts about how you should be living your life aren’t for you and not the path to success.

Stay hungry for optimization and growth. Pursue your specific path to success and avoid internalizing other people’s opinions of you. The new reality of success is that it can be a lonely road in which people drop off — that’s okay. You can find a circle of high-performers that want growth just as much as you do. 

The path to success isn’t easy, but it’s possible and leads to a fantastic life. The new realities shouldn’t scare you because a life of success has so many benefits. The critical thing to understand is the importance of loving yourself and taking the best care of you. 

You are the most significant goal to work on and achieve. You deserve incredible life experiences and can accomplish more than your limiting beliefs try to convince you is possible. 

“Don’t be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

How are you living your best life this year? Share your stories & thoughts with us below!

Jason Portnoy is a serial entrepreneur, podcast host, and founder of one of the premier digital marketing agencies. Before creating magic for other brands, Jason launched True Rivalry in 2012. He leveraged social media and digital marketing to grow True Rivalry into a presence in over 250 retail stores across North America, with celebrity fans and appearances on TV shows and movies. Jason knows digital marketing and he's passionate about helping businesses get results. He's an award-winning digital marketing agency owner. Join him at

Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.



Image Credit: Canva

Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

Continue Reading


How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.



Image Credit: Unsplash

It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

Continue Reading


Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.



Image Credit: Unsplash

People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

Continue Reading


5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
Continue Reading