Connect with us

Life

The Art of Saying No

Avatar

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

It’s time to fall in love with the word no. Your boundaries depend on it. As the saying goes, “Just say no.” Sounds so easy right?! No – one word, two letters, and a complete sentence. People regurgitate this phrase near and far, implying it’s able to be said with complete ease. Many write advice columns and social media posts on boundaries and you guessed it…learning to “say no” is at the top of the list for how to uphold boundaries. I too have written an article on boundaries and included similar guidance, but the truth is that the simplest advice is almost always easier said than done.

Let’s break it down. When you say “yes” to someone’s request, your time, energy, resources etc. are now committed to someone or something else. While the person asking has been freed from their desires, you have been tethered. As life is ever-evolving, there will always be someone or something that needs your time. So, in order to stay true to your wants, dreams and goals, there will come points in time where you will need to say no. The challenge when you choose to say no though is that it is almost always met with a barrage of questioning – pinning you into a corner of explanation. The irony is that no is a complete sentence and the reality is that no does not require an explanation.

One of the first questions someone is likely to ask once they have been on the receiving end of a “no” is “why?” Why won’t you help them? Why would you refuse them? This is typically the time that emotions kick in as you are triggered from the accusatory questions. You start to question whether or not you are being selfish and if you really should have said no. You’re now getting defensive, feeling obligated to justify and explain your response, knowing deep down it is the best thing for you.

“When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself.” – Paulo Coelho

You try to walk the fine line of acceptable behavior for the dynamic of the situation, trying to not hurt anyone’s feelings and appearing not to be selfish. However, the reality is this – no does not have to be a negotiation. It can be a ruling. How you choose to engage after you have said no determines which category the “no” falls into.

To bolster your resolve in remaining true to your “no”, consider these steps:

  1. Remind yourself it’s not about you. The person asking the question is looking to shift the responsibility to you instead of accepting an answer that was contrary to what they wanted. At the end of the day – both parties are responsible for their decisions – and decisions are never guaranteed.
  2. The first “no” is the hardest no. When you start to draw boundaries and tell people no, naturally they are going to be caught off guard. After all, they are used to you being a “yes” person. Give them grace to observe and accept your new more structured stance which includes saying no to things. While you may be concerned this could negatively impact your relationship with them, history has shown that boundaries are vital in establishing respect. So, on the contrary, this may strengthen your relationship.
  3. Be prepared for the firing squad of questions. If you are going to say no, a fair expectation is to presume that your no will be questioned. Remember that there is no reason to get emotional. You can simply hear the other person out and let them know you carefully considered their request but that was the healthy decision for you. Period. Do not be baited into a lengthy explanation. Remember – it is not a negotiation. 

In short, your goals are worth holding space for which requires the use of “no” from time to time. You can’t do everything for everyone else and still expect to have enough time to dedicate to your goals. You need to be energized and centered in pursuit of your life. So you need to make sure your energy is moving forward and in alignment with your vision, and not hung up on bringing someone else’s vision to life.

Ken Kladouris is an esteemed wealth advisor and published author who believes you should be living your life, by design. Charting his own course in the wealth management industry, Ken has earned the respect of his peers and the trust of his clientele. Developing his signature tailor-made approach, Ken has been able to successfully assist countless clients in charting their course to financial abundance. This has allowed the men and women Ken is proud to serve the ability to infuse more life into their years here and now – not just in retirement. Ken’s book, “Get There!”, was developed as a tool that helps individuals discover the clarity they need to design their financial future. Learn more by visiting Ken’s website or connecting with him on LinkedIn.

Advertisement
Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Life

These 7 Daily Resolutions Can Change Your Life

Avatar

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

We all strive to be better every day. Most of us want a new day to bring something new, and we plan for it as well. Of course, the execution is debatable as procrastination is real and it becomes an overwhelming feeling at times. Also, not to forget the customary practice of making resolutions on new year’s eve!  All of us are fascinated by the thought of preparing long lists of resolves to mark the beginning of a new year. Not sure how many people are able to translate these resolutions into functional realities. (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

4 Reasons Why Content Is Pivotal For Mental Health Healing

Avatar

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

One of the most important things for an entrepreneur’s mental health is expressing their feelings, thoughts, and emotions. This is where content creation and writing becomes pivotal. Whether you read something that resonates with you or you write a compelling blog post, the act of expressing yourself through content can help to put a smile on your face and make you feel better about things.

Most entrepreneurs don’t spend as much time taking care of their mental health as they should. Over the course of your career, you will experience a lot of ups and downs; these emotions have the potential to take a toll on your mind and body if you don’t learn to manage them properly.

Here are four reasons why expression through content is pivotal for healing, slowing yourself down, and giving yourself grace when the going gets tough.

1. Content can be a form of self-expression

When you are an entrepreneur, you frequently face feelings of insecurity, doubt, fear, apathy, and exhaustion, just to name a few. Some days it feels like no one is on your business’s side and everyone else has it all figured out. On those days some of us try to look at our website’s analytics to cheer up. 

But an even more freeing task is creating content. You create content to improve your business and reach more people’s lives. But, there is something special that happens when you write with the intention of expressing your thoughts and feelings — you open a door to yourself. 

Content is inherently personal, which means content creators open themselves up when they share their thoughts on a platform. Everything from the title of the post, the keywords they choose to include, and even the content itself helps you to understand who the author of that post truly is. And as an entrepreneur, this can be an important experience because it allows others to empathize with you.

2. Self-reflection will lift you up

As you think through what to write about and how to express yourself, the process of self reflection is a valuable step you need to go through. You’re able to reflect on the blessings you have, assess what you learned from the negative experiences, and create a plan on how to maintain the positive experiences you’ve had. 

There are a few ways that self reflection can help you with mental health healing. The act of reflecting on your experiences helps to create clarity in feelings, thoughts and emotions which will eventually lead into acceptance for what has happened or is happening currently without feeling overwhelmed by it all. This process also leads people towards finding new things they enjoy doing. Self reflection is therapeutic and can be implemented anytime you feel the need to overcome overwhelm.

“Writing in a journal each day allows you to direct your focus to what you accomplished, what you’re grateful for and what you’re committed to doing better tomorrow. Thus, you more deeply enjoy your journey each day.” – Hal Elrod

3. A sense of belonging and camaraderie

It is important to have a support network of people who will listen and understand what you are going through. When you post a blog or upload a video on YouTube, there are others who feel the same way and experience a sense of connection with you.

When you put time, attention and thoughtfulness into your writing, it is amazing when someone reads what you’ve written and comments on it thanking you or expressing how they resonate with what you’re going through. It’s hard to put into words how powerful it feels when someone who has gone through the same experience and reads your words then reaches out.  There is power in expression but miracles happen when people bond over a similar experience.

4. Library of content to share with more people

It can be very difficult to know what content to share with people as the symptoms of mental health disorders (anxiety, depression, etc.) vary from person to person. But as you accumulate more and more content, this will increase the number of articles or videos available for readers to choose from depending on their specific purpose. It also builds your personal library of resources you’re able to share to different people you encounter or engage directly with.

As chaotic and distracting social media can be, it can also be a beacon of hope with the right content. Many people share viral posts, or content that interest them. Since your content is valuable and personal, the more you share it, the more likely it is to be shared with the right audience.

You never know who is watching (reading)

Your content is speaking to someone and even though they may not be actively engaged, their experiences with your work are impacting them. Think about the last time you watched TV: did everyone in the room have something entertaining to say? 

You never know who’s watching because there’s always somebody reading your posts or viewing your videos-even if they just skim through it briefly. This is why creating content worth consuming is critical, not only to get you out of your funk, but also to serve your audience.  Be authentic and stay true to yourself; make every post count as an opportunity for connection with your best self and for potential readers to bond with you.

Continue Reading

Life

5 Ways To Invest In Yourself and Change Your Life

Avatar

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

Warren Buffett once said, the best investment you can ever make is in yourself. Time and money spent on bettering yourself are never considered a waste. Whether it’s through learning how to make money online, exploring new ways to increase your financial security, or watching TED talks to expand your knowledge. Do not be stingy when it comes to self-improvement because it will definitely pay off in the end. 

Need some ideas to get started on your journey to becoming a better you? Here are 5 ways to invest in yourself and transform your life. 

1. Change Your Self-Concept

Having a negative self-concept can have a tremendous impact on your life. Limiting beliefs and self-doubt are some of the main reasons why many never achieve or attempt to pursue their dreams. Take a moment and think about all the negative thoughts you have repeated to yourself throughout your life. How have these thoughts impacted the way you live life? From now on, create a new self-image by turning these negative thoughts into positive ones and appreciate your good qualities. 

2. Sign Up For An Online Course

If you’ve been wanting to brush up on your Photoshop skills or learn how to code professionally, this is the perfect time to get started. As long as you have a stable internet connection, you can access an endless amount of valuable information online. For example, sites like Coursera and Youtube are both awesome resources for online learning. With a few search strings and clicks, you can find all the information you need. 

“Investing in yourself is the best investment you can make. It will not only improve your life, it will improve the lives of all those around you.” – Robin Sharma

3. Learn From a Mentor

No matter which stage of your life you are currently in, working with a mentor can help you stay motivated and focused on your goals. Not only can they guide you in the right direction, but also transform your vision, provide you with new insights, and connect you with amazing resources. If you’re feeling unmotivated or unsure about what you want to do in life, consider finding a mentor to help you navigate this process. 

4. Start A Side Hustle

The salary from a 9-5 job would rarely allow you to reach your maximum income potential. Why not achieve financial success while pursuing your passion by starting a side hustle? Whether it’s through starting an ecommerce business, freelance writing on the side, or starting a Youtube channel. There are infinite numbers of ways to make money, and there is bound to be one out there that fits your passion and skills. 

5. Nourish Your Body

As many may say, “health is the new wealth”. Without a healthy and functioning body, living a fulfilling and comfortable life becomes difficult. To take care of your body and prioritize your wellbeing, start with small habits such as eating healthier foods and exercising regularly. Bike or walk to work instead of taking the car, and opt for a healthy protein bowl instead of greasy burgers at Burger King. With time, these small habits can make an incredible difference.

Check out the infographic below, to see more ways you can invest in yourself:

home-electrification

Continue Reading

Life

How to Turn Inward and Detox Your Mind

Avatar

Published

on

By

Image Credit: Unsplash

When we are overwhelmed by confusion, our psyche tries to establish certainty to alleviate our discomfort. This is usually accomplished by mentally imagining and acting out a plot. Unfortunately, much of the time, we mentally visualize pessimistic (or worst-case scenario) scenarios to provide certainty. (more…)

Continue Reading

Trending