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The Art of Intentionality: One Simple Idea to Overhaul Every Area of Your Life

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If you’d like to learn how to live intentionally every single day so you can experience how beautiful life can be, sign up for the free 90-Day Master Class hosted by the founder of Addicted2Success.com, Joel Brown.


I’ve been there. You’ve got things in your life that are stagnating, never getting better no matter how desperately you wish they were. Maybe you wish you could start a side-hustle to eventually snowball into your dream-job. Maybe you don’t feel close to those you want to be the closest to or your kids aren’t well-behaved as you wish. Luckily there is one incredibly simple and versatile idea to help these situations and many more. 

Below I’ll share with you what I call the duct-tape of mindsets: 

1. The Trap: Complacent You

Life is a groundhog day nightmare. Every day you wish things could be better. You wish you could lie down on your pillow at night and smile, thinking how you get to live your amazing life tomorrow when you wake up. 

You get complacent, somehow living the worst way becomes the easiest because that’s what you’ve gotten used to. It’s a rut even the best of us can get into, but it doesn’t have to be this way. 

Read about any great man or woman from the past or present and you’ll notice a couple of things a lot of them have in common, but today we’re talking about something they all have. Without which your favorite heroes of history would have been recorded as a number on a census rather than a name on Wikipedia. 

I can’t actually promise you a spot on Wikipedia, but I can tell you that you too can harness this power. For fulfillment, for advancement, and most importantly of all for happiness.

“You’re only here for a short visit. Don’t hurry, don’t worry. And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.” – Walter Hagen

2. How I Harnessed this Idea

I have siblings and they’re great honestly, but to teenage me, they were annoying. At every chance I pushed them away. I’m still wishing I could have a nice relationship with them like in the movies. 

My programming was to tell them to beat it, and ignore them as best I could. Then my mother told me a bit of advice she had given to my father. If he wanted to get to know them and be close to them all he needed to do was go in their room, sit down, and ask “What’re you up to?” 

If he was interested was not the question, the question was whether or not he was willing to be interested and listen intently to achieve what he wanted. What my mom said resonated with me, so this was the first time I accidentally used this mind-set. 

Rather than waiting for them to be interested in exactly what I wanted them to be interested in, I took an interest in them. I began to have intentionality. I had begun to question what I wanted and what actions could most realistically get me those results and then most importantly I did it. 

I really talked for the first time with my siblings by sitting down and discussing life, film, school, and everything. I didn’t wait, I went to them and said “How’s school? What’s your favorite song right now?” It it worked like magic, albeit incredibly simple magic. 

My siblings and I were closer than ever after our talks. We were talking, joking, and spending time together with no external forces deciding it for us. I became much happier to finally feel closer to being the older brother I always wanted to be. All it took was to be intentional.

“An unintentional life accepts everything and does nothing. An intentional life embraces only the things that will add to the mission of significance.” – John C. Maxwell

3. So How Does it Work Really?

Whether you agree that humans are innately good or evil doesn’t matter. I think we can agree that goodness and achievement are things that require intentional action. No one has become worth a damn by accident or inaction. 

The idea itself is the easy part, it’s the following actions upon it that are difficult to execute. First you must be intentional in thought: What is it that I’m missing, what is it that is making me frustrated? Likely, you’ve already done this part but now you have to figure out what will fix that. 

It’s simpler than you think. Oftentimes we ask questions with the answers embedded. For example: “How can I be closer to my son?” You do it. What makes any two people closer? You share hobbies, time, and ideas. The hard part is being intentional enough to realize that you’ve chosen to fall into your programming, and then to figure out how to change it and do it. 

No one else is going to figure out life for you, but I feel that this is a great blueprint to every single facet of life.

  1. What do I want/What am I missing?
  2. How do I get it/How do I fix that?
  3. Do it.

The biggest stumbling block here is making sure you figure out a way to get what you want that makes sense. Not the one that’s easiest or that you feel you deserve. Like “I’ll repair my marriage by waiting for my wife to apologize because I’m right and she’s wrong.”

The worst case scenario is that things aren’t working, but all failure is just knowledge. You now know you should revise your strategy and be more patient.

Make sure to be intentional with every action you commit during the day. You’ll be grateful you did. 

We want to hear from you! What do you think is the best way to live an intentional life?

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Life

How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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