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The 6 P’s of Prevailing in Pandemic Times

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We are living a new normal in these pandemic times. People are worried, stressed, and fearful about the future. It’s a once in a lifetime event that many of us haven’t faced. This is a virus that is affecting each and every one of us, in every part of the world.

How do we live in this new normal? How do we go forward, when we are fearing that our next visit or handshake can lead to a harmful sickness? How do we work when the economy and our jobs are uncertain? How do we mentally cope with the stay at home orders and lockdown orders which have consumed our vocabulary and day-to-day life?

Instead of succumbing to the fears of our Whatsapp friends or conspiracy-minded Facebook friends, try these 6 “P’s” to manage your day-to-day life. I’m certain if you can adopt this perspective, you’re going to not only survive but thrive in pandemic times. 

Here are the 6P’s to help you cope and live in pandemic times:

1. Presence

You want to reminisce on the good times of the past and think about how good we had it. You also want to think about the future and how uncertain it is. Yesterday and tomorrow are no longer here. We have to continue to do what we have done during these weeks of stay at home orders which is to be flexible and take it day-by-day. We have to opt for flexibility and come to accept the unfamiliar as our standard operating procedure. We have to face the day in front of us and rise to the moment in front of us. We have to be present to what we are dealing with now.

2. Present

This is not a repeat of #1 but a reminder to treat everything as a gift: a present. It’s easy to complain and grumble during these pandemic times but I’ve found that complaints and lamentation often bring more pain and struggle. Instead of complaining about how dire things are, start treating whatever you can as a present. Welcome in the present of spending time with your family. Welcome in the present of worshipping at home. Welcome in the present of quiet, calm and peaceful. Drown out the complaints and embrace the many small presents you’ve been given.

“Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were your last. The past is over and gone. The future is not guaranteed.” – Wayne Dyer

3. Patience

There’s never been a time that you have had to wait with no end in sight. Until the vaccine or a cure comes about, all of us have to wait with different parts of our lives. You may not have had a good relationship with patience. In today’s modern world, we complain when an app takes too long to download. Now, we have to wait for weeks before we find out what the next phase of our life is going to look like. The vaccine is going to take time. Treatment is going to take time. Normalcy is going to take time. All you can do is cultivate the virtue of patience. You have to remind yourself that public health and the pandemic are out of your control. You only have the ability to respond with patience to circumstances you can’t do much about.

4. Perseverance

You have to remind yourself that you and society have come through everything. We have survived wars, plagues, natural disasters, and personal disasters to get to where we are today. Collectively, we are resilient people who overcome adversity. Individually, think about all the hardships and difficulties you’ve faced in your own life. You preserved here. You wouldn’t be here today if you didn’t get through the difficult spots in your life. Now is the time to remind yourself that you are a captain of perseverance. You are going to go forward knowing that you are going to get through whatever comes your way. You will persevere through this pandemic as you’ve persevered through other challenges in your life.

5. Prioritizing

You are going to have to prioritize all areas of your life. You are going to have to prioritize your time, prioritize your schedule, prioritize when you leave the house, and the relationships in your life. This means that you have to value some things over others. You no longer have the luxury of being an over-achieving, hyper-productive parent or partner. You are going to have to choose, pick, and prioritize one thing over another. You can continue to do the things that matter and drop the things that don’t.

“People who can focus, get things done. People who can prioritize, get the right things done.” – John Maeda

6. Positivity

You get a choice today. You can remain positive and hopeful about what is to come or you can throw in the towel, and expect the worst. Your lense of positivity or negativity is going to affect your pandemic experience and life after this is over. Stay in positivity and your life is going to be easier. Peddle in negativity and you’re going to struggle more each day. Continue to stay in a positive frame of mind when hearing about or living in pandemic times. Ask yourself, “what is the positive in this situation?” repeatedly until you squeeze out an ounce of positivity.

You got this. We got this. Don’t let the negative of others steal your peace and positivity. Pandemic times call for you to exercise the many sleeping virtues you possess. Your perspective and your perseverance are much needed right now. All of us are going to get through this challenging health crisis like we overcome everything. At the end of the day, there’s one more “P” waiting for all of us. We will…prevail.

Vishnu Virtues is the writer behind the popular personal growth and spirituality blog for people starting over in life. You can find his weekly blog posts at www.vishnusvirtues.com and his Amazon books on love and relationships here.

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The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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